Stranded Memories
by rockstarhobbit
Summary: COMPLETED. Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Sethcentric.
1. Eenie Meenie Miney Mo

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen, and he runs away (knowing that it worked before), but something happens sending him into a crashing situation. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: This is a story co-written by myself and my bestest friend ever Ali (orange-tide). She is going to write most of the stuff happening in Newport and I am going to write the stuff on the island. But I will write some of the Newport stuff too. Hopefully this one will get off the ground.

_Ali: Sorry I was reading a song. What? Oh… If Kim ever decides to write in this story…_

Kim: Hey! I said I was sorry!

_Ali: You never did! I kept asking for those stories and you never bring them! You are such a liar!_

Kim: Geeze. It isn't my fault that I became a Lost freak and have major writing block and have issues finishing any story I start. looks at people in disbelief that they are still reading this pointless author's note Why don't you skip this and read… good!

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"**Eenie Meenie Miney MO!"**

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Zack and Summer broke up! Finally! I couldn't stand watching them kiss and be all cute. Give me a break! Ducky is gone. Ducky? God, who nicknames someone Ducky? Lame! Oh crap. Summer did that. She's not lame. But the idea of Ducky sure is.

Now Summer and I can be together! She walked into the Bait Shop earlier and she was crying. Quite cute actually, but that didn't matter. Summer really needed someone then. She said she let herself get too attached. They broke up over something stupid. Me. I just dissed myself. CRAP! She said that Zack thought that she was cheating on him with Me, and he found a new girl in Cabo.

So anyways, she came over today and I comforted her, and she kissed me on the cheek. It's a start. We're so getting back together. Except the one problem: Alex. We're still together. So again, I had two girls. Damn it. I always screw it up.

I tried to get myself refocused on the homework I was trying to do. What the hell? I knew this stuff, but I couldn't get my head around it. It was Physics, not that hard. Maybe Ryan would help me. I needed some serious help. So I got up and left the kitchen. I wondered if Ryan was still with Lindsay. I hadn't seen them together for quite a while.

The shades were drawn in the pool house. Maybe Ryan was with Lindsay. Oh well. I was going to break up the make-out session no matter what.

"Hey man, I need some help. Can you…" I stopped dead in my tracks. Ryan was making out with someone. And it wasn't Lindsay. "Summer?" I whispered in disbelief. No way. This was not fucking happening. "Ryan?" Both of them looked guilty.

"Seth! What are you doing here?" Summer asked.

"What are _you_ doing here?" I screamed, pissed at both of them

"Uh…" she obviously didn't know how to answer. Go figure.

"You kissed me!" I said angrily. I couldn't believe that this was happening. Summer… and Ryan? What the hell?

"What?!" Ryan looked at Summer, who looked more guilty than ever.

"Just on the cheek!" She told Ryan, "Seth, I'm sorry. We weren't together. And… and… I don't know if we can be," Summer said to me.

"I can't believe this! You… and you? How the hell!?" I was so pissed off at Ryan. How the hell could he do this to me?

"Seth, calm down. It's okay," Ryan said, getting up and walking over towards me.

"Get the fuck away from me!" I yelled, pushing Ryan away. He tried to come near me again. Acting on instinct, I punched him as hard as I could. Summer shrieked. Who the hell cared? All those rumors about her being a slut or a whore, I never believed them. Now I did.

My punch knocked Ryan off his feet. Wow, I didn't know I could actually do that. Ryan got up, and I was ready. Ready to kill that son of a bitch. How dare he fucking date Summer! And not tell me, the nerve!

"Seth…" Ryan started, but I wouldn't let him. I punched him again.

"Seth!" Summer screamed at me. "Stop Seth! He's not to blame!" Summer then proceeded to get off the bed and walk towards me.

"Get away!" I pushed her hard, harder than I should have. She fell to the ground, almost hitting her head.

"Don't push her!" Ryan started towards me. And this time, he didn't wait for me, he punched. Damn, he hit hard. I mean, holy shit!

"Stop it you guys!" Summer was crying. I didn't care. I went at Ryan again. I was going to kill him, and if I couldn't kill him, I was going to hurt him so he wished he was dead. I really was, nothing could stop me. But someone did. From behind me, I was grabbed and yanked off of Ryan.

"Seth… stop…" My dad. Shit. I stopped trying to get Ryan. Everyone had quieted down. I turned around to see my dad, looking more pissed than I had ever seen him before… ever.

"What the hell is going on here?" Sandy shouted at us.

"I'm leaving." I didn't want to be here and I headed to get out. This was too much for me to handle. I walked out, not even saying goodbye. Why the hell should I? None of them deserved a goodbye.

"Seth, come back!" dad called to me, but I ignored him. I was leaving. Flying the coop. I heard everyone call to me, but why should I go back? They didn't appreciate me.

I took the keys off of the kitchen counter. My mom was about to come in, and I slammed the door.

I tried to remain casual as I walked to the car so she wouldn't think that anything was wrong, but I couldn't hide the anger on my face.

"Seth, what's wrong?" she asked, being concerned as she always was.

"Nothing," I lied horribly, getting into the driver's side of the car and putting the key in the ignition. I turned it and the engine turned over. If she said something, I didn't hear her because I stepped on the gas.

I drove away from the house. Maybe I wouldn't come back for a while. I could stay with Alex. I'm sure she wouldn't mind.

Ten minutes later, I walked into the Bait Shop. It was empty. Nice. I needed peace and quiet. To think. To plan how to make Ryan's life a living hell.

No one was in the front. Therefore, Alex had to be in the back. That was fine with me. She'd make it all better. And to think that a half an hour ago I wanted to break up with her. Why should I? I can't believe that I ever even wanted to date 'Summer-the-Slut.'

So I went into the store room, and guess who I find? Yes, Alex. But Miss Alex wasn't alone. She was with… Marissa? Rather, she was making out with Marissa.

"Alex?" I asked, not believing that his was happening. I really had the Cohen knack for coming in at the perfectly wrong time.

"Seth?" She stared at me, as did Marissa. What the hell was going on in this world? It was as if the whole fucking world turned around and wanted to torture me. "What are you doing here?" She hadn't expected me. Of course she didn't. No one expects me any more.

"Umm… coming to see my _girlfriend_!?!" I shouted at her, and she was surprised. I never yelled at her, or even around her before.

"Oh," Alex looked down.

"How could you?" I asked, really wanting an answer. I would've hit Marissa, but I didn't feel like hitting a girl, and I had already pushed Summer, that was bad enough. Plus, there was the simple fact that my fist hurt like hell.

"I'm sorry," Alex apologized. That was complete and utter bull shit!

"No you're not. I'll see you around sometime." I said angrily, turning to leave the Bait Shop, but I stopped to glare at the two, but I had a comment to direct at Marissa. "And I thought you wouldn't join the incestrial shit that's been going on." Without another word, I left. Both girls cheated on me. Well, one did and one sorta did. God, life was fucked up. What did I do to deserve this? What shift in the cosmos made this happen? I guess now I had to go home. Wonderful. Just where I wanted to be.

Slowly, I drove back home, ready to collapse in bed and hate life. I quietly opened the door and walked in. I heard my parents bickering. Something was putting them on the edge lately too.

"I can't believe you are still going to defend him! After what he's done!" My mom screamed. Who did what? Me?

"I have to! Yes, he did something wrong. But you told me to go looking around for stuff, so I did. You have to deal with this honey. He betrayed you, and you have a sister," dad said. I didn't betray mom. So it wasn't me. That was a relief.

"You still shouldn't keep going for this. I'm your wife. It's betraying!" Mom complained. Wait, what?

"You told me to do this! I'm in it now, I can't get out!" This conversation was getting way too deep.

"So what are you saying?" I was practically frozen, barely even breathing, just listening to them.

"I can't be your husband…" NO! This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. Talk about shit just getting worse and worse.

"You want a divorce?"

"Maybe…" I stopped listening. Oh God, this can't fucking be happening. I have to get out. Really out. I had to leave this stupid place. It was like hell on Earth.

I shoved some stuff in my bag. I couldn't take it anymore, this place WAS hell on Earth, and I just need to get away, just for a little bit. With a quick check on the internet, I discovered that Oceanic had the cheapest and most often flights. I didn't know where to go. Orlando, Tokyo, Sydney, Bermuda, Yucatan… so I pointed at the computer screen, "Eenie, meenie, miney, mo…" my finger was on Bermuda. I quick looked up tickets, and saw that all the ones that left any time soon, were full. Damn

I went back to the main page and did it again. "Eenie, meenie, miney, mo…" my finger was now on Sydney. Sydney was far enough away. And there were tickets, for a flight that left in… four hours. Using the credit card that my father finally put my name on, I got tickets and got a boarding pass printed out. I was all ready.

Quietly, I walked back down to the kitchen to sneak out the front door, but not before grabbing the credit card that was sitting there. I had never used it before, but now I was glad that mom and dad decided to put me on it. It was a lifesaver at the moment.

The house was eerily silent and I could hear my footsteps echo, so I went as swiftly as possible and headed out to the car, turned the key and the engine turned over. It was loud, and I flinched. I had to get out of there quick. So I stepped on the gas, just as I saw the door to the house open.

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It was a pretty long drive to LAX, but it was the only place I could go to get away from Newport, get away from California, get away from this hell that I must had done something to deserve. I brushed away the few stray tears that felt the effects of gravity and ran down my face. I had to do this. No more cheating Summer, no more Ryan, no more parents fighting, no more of the Cooper-Nichol-Cohen incestrial love circle.

I parked the car on a street, I didn't care where I parked it. I don't even think I locked the door. I parked not too far away from the airport, and started walking quite quickly. I heard my cell phone ring in the bag. I pulled it out and it was my mom. I turned the phone off.

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I made it to the airport in a not very long amount of time, and went to where I knew flights were cheap. Oceanic Airlines. I looked on the departure board. The one to Sydney was on time.

I walked up to the counter. "How may I help you?" the lady asked.

"I order tickets not too long ago. Seth Cohen, flight 852, non-stop to Sydney?"

There was a brief pause, before she looked up and smiled. "Hello Mr. Cohen, I just need to see a photo I.D."

Without any pause I pulled out my school I.D. "Thank you Mr. Cohen, your flight leaves out of Gate E15. Thank you for flying with Oceanic Air."

I was in. I was going to Sydney. Nothing could get me there, across the Pacific Ocean. I was safe there, no Summer, no Ryan, no Alex, no parents, just me. The thought never worried me one bit.

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I made it through the safety things, and thank god for the passport I had, or I wouldn't have been able to go, and now I sat on the plane, looking out of the window. I was doing it. No one had caught me. My cell phone remained off in the bag I stored above my head.

I could feel my self relaxing as the plane backed out of the gate. I didn't pay attention through the entire presentation of the safety things. I didn't care. Now to formulate how to make Ryan's life a living hell, and Alex's too now. I could do that.

The words, "And thank you for choosing Oceanic…" entered into my head as I felt the plane gaining speed.

Within moments we were in the air. And I sat there, looking out the window. Goodbye Newport. Goodbye sucky fucked up old life. Hello Sydney.

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**A/n:** Well? I know it was a bit odd, but it should get better as time moves on. Please tell us what you think. :D


	2. Please Forgive Me

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen, and he runs away (knowing that it worked before), but something happens sending him into a crashing situation. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: I actually thought about the part that I wrote after I read the part that Ali wrote and while watching the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King: Extended Edition… so I hope you like it :D

Oh, and you don't have to worry about not reading if you don't watch Lost… all the characters will be explained to some extent. Warning: This chapter may be long!

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"**Please Forgive Me"**

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Two months had passed. I had not talked to my family in those two months. I mean, that is the biggest time I never talked to them in. Last summer, I called, they called, and they knew where I was. Now they didn't. I was done with them, they were so three months ago. I mean, I think they had _planned_ to make Newport hell, if it wasn't hell in the first place.

Every so often, my thoughts would fall on Summer, but then I thought of the asshole Ryan "Asshole" Atwood and Summer "Slut" Roberts. The perfect combo. I hope they were miserable.

I had made a life here in Sydney, and was quite content. At first, I stayed in a hole in the wall hotel, so I could earn some money for an apartment, since I had absolutely no plan on leaving. Now, I had the tiniest little one bedroom apartment. It was small yes, but it was perfect for me and Aerin.

Ah, Aerin. The thought of her made a smile come to my face. I had met her about three days after I arrived. Since then, we were inseparable. Total replacement for SSR (Summer "Slut" Roberts). I wish she had been Newport, man I would have obsessed over her. Haha.

So, it was another normal Saturday. Aerin was cleaning. Every so often she'd be a neat freak and go insane and bug me. But that was like once a month. So twice, I sat in our living room/dining room eating cereal. The room was small, we didn't earn much money between the two of us. And I tried to use the credit card as little as I could.

"What is _this_?" I heard Aerin complain from in the bedroom. She knew nothing of my background, since I never told her. She never asked. That was fine with me.

She appeared a few minutes, playing with a cell phone. Wait a second, he cell phone is charged. Maybe she grabbed it. I looked over. Crap, it was still there. Then where did she get a new one? I didn't have one. No! I did have one. Used to at least.

"Awwww… you were so cute. Who are all these people?" She asked, her Australian accent making me swoon. She was paging through my wallet (which she had never done before).

"Who are what people?" I asked her, trying not to sound worried. That wasn't supposed to be found. I got up to look at the photos that I hadn't looked at in what seemed like forever. She was flipping through the pictures of RAA and SSR and Marissa flashed by too. There were a few of Lindsay, Alex, Anna and Luke too.

"So who are they? Where are they now? You never said anything about your past." Aerin complained to me. I couldn't tell her about my confusing past. Confusing couldn't even describe it. It was so messed up. Everyone was related to each other! No wait. The evil couple wasn't blood related to any o the Cohens, Coopers or Nichols. I had to stop thinking about them. They didn't matter anymore.

"Old friends. Nothing special." I blew it off. She didn't' believe me. She continued to play with my old phone.

"Hey, you have like… fifty messages on this. Maybe you should check them." Aerin walked around, playing with that stupid phone. Couldn't she stop? I mean, it was mine. I don't use her stuff. Wait, I'm eating out of her bowl. Crap.

I ignored Aerin as I went into the kitchen to do the dishes. Yes, no dish washer. Aerin said that she had a bad dishwasher accident a few years back. Yeah right. She just doesn't want to spend the money.

"There's a lot of girls in these," she said, paging through he wallet pictures again. "Any of importance?" Maybe Anna was the only one.

"Not really. Two of them are my aunts. That's the only importance they have." Shouldn't have said that. Stupid mouth! Once it starts, it never stops.

"Aunts? They're your age!" Again, Aerin didn't believe me. What the hell? I didn't lie. Do you people believe me when I did lie?

"Yeah, well…" If she kept talking about Newport, I'd leave again. I walked away from Aerin, and she knew that I was angry.

"Sorry," she apologized. I couldn't look at her. Because I knew I would forgive her. I tried to get away. Not much luck. I hate small apartments!

Aerin gave up on the cell phone. I heard something being placed on the table. Good. She was done with it. Finally. I couldn't stand that stupid cell phone.

I went into the closet-like bedroom and collapsed on the bed. I began to think. Maybe I should check the messages. Maybe Newport felt sorry. Doubt it.

"I'm sorry," I felt Aerin come and lie next to me. She laid her head on my chest. "Can you forgive me?" I looked down at her and saw her crystal blue eyes. Crap. I melted.

"I forgive you." I held her close. This new life was so much better than the old one. "I think I'll check my messages now."

"Good. Then maybe I can meet your family!" Aerin smiled.

"Uh… no…" I answered as I got up. She followed me, which I didn't really mind at the moment. I was so lucky to have Aerin, I mean, she really gets me. Understands me. Doesn't' cheat on me, unlike all those other girls. Oh wait! Anna and Marissa never did. Ah, well, Marissa might have… and Lindsay never did either.

"Are you going to call them? Like after you check the messages?" Gosh, Aerin was cute. She cared so much about my family, yet I cared so little. They all betrayed me.

"No. Unless maybe something horrible happened to them." Would I even care? I mean a lot probably changed since then. So who cared if something bad happened?

I grabbed my phone. Dialing the password, my breath quickened. Why was I doing this again? But I still put the phone to my ear.

"Hi Seth. It's Summer..." I rolled my eyes. "Listen, I think we need to talk. Everything is just so screwed up. And I am like… really really sorry. Call me back, bye." It was from the day that I had left. The day my life fell into hell.

"Hey man, it's Ryan. Um… we need to uh… talk. Definitely. So, I guess I'll see you tonight then. Bye." Dumbass! How stupid were they? Honestly. I listened again.

"Seth, it's Alex. I'm sorry. I guess I should've told you. Call me back, okay?" Three cheaters in a row! Good job guys! I kept listening as my mom and dad yelled at me. About a week had transpired in calls.

"Seth. It's mom! Please come home Seth," she was sobbing. "I can't stand losing you again. We're all sorry for what may have happened, but just please come home. We'll sort through everything and we miss you so much. Seth, come home. I love you Seth." She cried through the entire message. I tried to hold back the tears that were trying to come out. Mom hadn't done anything, actually sort of, but she wasn't the one wanting a stupid divorce.

Aerin looked up at me. "What's wrong Seth?" she asked. That was when I noticed that some of the tears were falling.

"Nothing. Nothing, I swear," I said, trying to keep from tearing up even more. I continued listening. I wondered if they did get a divorce. I continued on until it had been about three weeks. Number nineteen.

"Hi Seth. It's Lindsay. Um… I guess… um… come home. Your mom gave me your number. She's been recruiting everyone to get you back to Newport. Plus, I thought Cohens laughed through their tears and made horribly timed jokes during traumatic events. Not run away. We all want you to come home. So please… I don't think Newport will last much longer without you." That message hurt. It hurt more than the one that my mother had left me. Lindsay even called, even if she did call because her "sister" asked her to. And she kind of called me a liar. Was I a liar? I guess I sorta of was.

"Seth. Come home. I can't stand this. Please." My dad begged. His messages were all short, sweet and to the point. But they got the point across.

"Hi Seth, its Marissa. Come home okay? Everyone really misses you." Now I was feeling really bad. By that time I was sitting, listening to all these messages. I guess I had hurt these people. Number thirty-eight came up; a little more than six weeks had passed.

"Seth, it's Ryan again. You can't avoid this forever. It's not as bad as you think. Well, now it is. Kirsten's lost it. Sandy's about to… everybody's just lost. Newport needs you man. No comic relief anymore. Everything sucks here. So, come home. We miss you… bye…" Yeah, well they deserved to be miserable. Or not. Crap, now I felt worse than ever.

Aerin looked at me as I put the phone down from my ear and took a deep breath. She didn't say anything, but the look on her face was one of utter confusion.

I looked down and put the phone back up to my ear.

More messages from my mother, one or two from Summer, some from my dad, one from Lindsay. I made it to message forty-six. I hear a beep in my ear. I looked at the phone. Low battery. Shit!

I put the phone up to my ear, and my mother was sobbing uncontrollably. I could barely understand a word she was saying. There was so much noise in the background, and she was crying so hard. "Seth… Seth… damn it to hell Seth… turn on your cell phone… I know you have it off!" She was crying so hard, I felt tears springing to my eyes. What had I done? My family hadn't torn each other apart. I had torn them apart.

"Seth... please… don't… Seth… its Ryan… Seth… its Ryan… he's… Ryan… he's…" she couldn't get it out. Shit. Something really really bad must have happened. What did I do? The phone cut off.

"SHIT!" I cursed as I saw the phone say 'Low Battery. Powering off.' I threw it at the wall.

Everything that was happening around me turned into a blur. I couldn't make sense of what was going on in my mind. I ran my hand through my hair quite a few times, and I heard Aerin say something, but it was all a jumbled up mess, and I couldn't understand any of it.

I fell back onto the bed and felt the hot tears falling down my face. Was Ryan dead? It sure as hell sounded like it. Mom wouldn't get all upset over nothing. He had to be dead. There was no other explanation. Then there was the mental tangle. Ryan was dead, and I knew deep down that I needed to go back. I had to go back. Somehow, this was my fault.

Then there was the part of me that still felt as though Ryan had gotten exactly what he deserved and that I shouldn't have felt sorry for any of them. But I did. Aerin laid down next to me and started messing with my hair. It still was sinking in. Something happened to Ryan, and I needed to go.

Quickly, I sat up, catching Aerin completely off guard. "Can I… can I use your cell phone?" I asked, sounding so pathetic. I sounded like an idiot.

"Seth, what's wrong?" she asked.

Awkward silences. "Something happened… and I need to call home…"

"Home?" she asked.

"Newport, California," I said simply, reaching for the cell phone that she was reaching for. She simply handed it to me and didn't say a word. She must have been thinking about how big I was in trouble for not telling her anything.

I dialed the oddly familiar phone number of my house. I hadn't called it in so long.

_Ring_. Ryan was dead or dying… and here I was… sitting across the fucking Pacific Ocean, playing a game of phone tag!

_Ring._ My glance went back over towards Aerin. She was just staring at me blankly as if trying to figure out what was going on in my mind. Fat chance.

_Ring._ What the hell? Normally people pick up by the third ring. And I was getting no answer. Then again, the message couldn't have been that far in the past… maybe they were at Ryan's funeral. This was what I got for running away again.

_Ring._ They mustn't be home. I knew for a fact that they weren't home when the answering machine picked up.

_You've reached the Cohen's. We're probably out, so leave a message and we'll get back to you ASAP._ I heard the beep. "Mom… Dad… its Seth… what the hell is going on? What happened to Ryan? I'm sorry that I left, but Ryan is just Ryan… I don't know what I'll do if he died. Uh… call me back, correction. I'll call you back." I took a deep breath. I was rambling. "I'm getting a plane home…"

I looked over at Aerin. She looked utterly broken. Crap.

"And… and… there is someone else coming too… just I hope you can forgive me. And I really hope that Ryan is not dead, but it sure as hell sounds like it. I'll talk to you later then…" I added before hanging up the phone.

My eyes met Aerin's. She just gave me that look. Damn it. "You have some explaining to do…" she said, her arms crossed.

Better get it out quick than forced. I handed her her phone back and sat down on the bed. She sat down, but a distance away from me.

"I live in Newport, California, I ran away from home… Sydney was as far as I could go… so I came here… and had no intentions of going home. Everything went crashing down, which is why I ran away… my girlfriend cheating on me with my step-aunt… my ex-girlfriend making out with my brother… it was all really weird, and that was why the phone was off, that was why I tried to hide everything about my past, because it sucked. But you convinced me to check the messages, and I got a really bad one from my mom… and then the phone went dead… and I think that Ryan is dead, and I really need to go home… and you can come back with me, I don't care, I just need to make sure everything is okay, because the last thing I remember thinking when I saw Ryan was… well… I wanted to kill him… but please… I'm really sorry, and if you hate me, just tell me because I kinda hate myself right now and…" I cut myself off. I still had a tendency to ramble.

Awkward silence followed that long, confusing, yet very true story. I could understand the silence as I sat there and looked at her. She was looking into her lap.

After a few minutes, she looked up. "So about that plane…" she said, grabbing some of her things and shoving them into a nearby suitcase.

"Wait, what?" I asked, my mind snapping out of the daze it was in.

"You said that I could come with you… so I am coming with you, the sooner we leave, the sooner you get home to your brother…" she said, grabbing me and giving me a hug. I woke up. "Now get packing…"

I shrugged. "No need to pack," I said simply. It was true. I was ready to go at that moment. What did I have that I didn't have at home, other than Aerin? Nothing.

She was finished packing in a few seconds and we hopped in her car and headed for the airport. It was an awkwardly silent ride. I just stared out the window, thinking of absolutely nothing. Sooner than I had imagined we were at the airport.

"Seth… Seth… get up…" she said, shaking me lightly. I wasn't asleep.

"I'm awake…" I said dully, getting unbuckled and heading out to the airport.

"Seth, are you really going to walk to the airport?" Aerin asked. I turned around and she was giggling. Always the optimistic one, wasn't she?

"How else are we going to get there?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. She simply pointed at the taxi that was pulling in. It was one of those moments when I didn't know what the hell was going on.

"Called the taxi while you were asleep."

"I WASN'T ASLEEP!" I shouted angrily, before realizing that I was yelling at Aerin, who was really the only person I knew anything about (seeing as I didn't know what the hell was happening at home).

She only giggled. "Sure you weren't, now hop in," she said, getting into the taxi and moving over. I hopped in as well.

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It was another five minutes to the airport, and I zoned out again, but I knew exactly when we were there, and Aerin refused to let me pay the taxi guy, so I just got out and went in. The taxi had left us out at Oceanic again. That was the airline that I had flown in on. They seemed like a good airline. And they were cheap.

I ran up to the counter. There were many other people there too, but they were all just waiting around, so I went up. The guy next to me was talking about transferring his father's body back to L.A. and it brought tears back to my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.

"Good morning, sir. How may I help you?" the lady asked.

"I need two tickets on the soonest plane leaving to L.A." I said quickly and simply.

"Sorry, I can't do that." she said.

"WHAT!?" I snapped angrily. They had to be fucking kidding me!

"There is only one ticket left on the flight…" she said.

"Take it Seth…" I heard someone from my left speak up. I turned to come face to face with Aerin. "I'll get on a later flight…" she said.

"Are you—" she cut me off.

"Yes. Take it…"

"I just need a photo identification, a passport and a credit card." the lady said. I nodded and reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. I got out the credit card and the School I.D. Now where did I put that passport? I reached around into my backpack and pulled it out of a back pocket.

"One second," she said, taking all three. I turned to look at Aerin.

"Just go Seth, you need it more than I do…" she said, looking straight into me. How could I fight with that? I simply nodded. She grabbed me and hugged me tightly, her blonde hair getting into my face. I hugged her back. She was my foundation, and I leaned on her.

The lady called my attention back to her. "Now I just need your signature here… here… and here…" she said, pointing to three spots on the paper. I didn't worry about reading them, I just signed it.

"Thank you Mr. Cohen. You are on flight 815, and it leaves in… half an hour. I would hurry Mr. Cohen." I nodded a thank you and grabbed Aerin.

"Are you sure…" I asked her once again. She nodded again. "Don't worry about me. I will take care of everything. And I guess that I'll see you in Newport again…it's only a few hour flight." she laughed.

I put my arm around her and we headed over towards the security check. This was where we had to depart. I turned around and looked deeply into her eyes. I had to go home, but I didn't want to leave Aerin. "It's only a few hours Seth…" she said laughing.

I kissed her. Passionately. I just had a bad feeling about all of this. She pushed away. "Just go Seth… you'll miss your flight." she said.

I turned to leave when the thought hit me. "Aerin, can I use your cell phone, one last time?" I asked, giving her the patented Cohen 'pity me' look. It worked and she chuckled as she handed me the phone. Quickly I dialed home. Once again, I got the answering machine, and it only made me worry more.

"Mom… dad… I'm coming home. I'm on Oceanic Flight 815… I'll be home by… well I'm not very good with time zones, but I'll be home soon. Please forgive me…" I hung up and Aerin took her cell phone back.

"You're going to miss your plane silly," she laughed, her accent coming out quite well.

Once again, I nodded and proceeded my way through the security check, trying not to upset myself. This seemed so familiar, but last time… Anna was leaving and I was looking through the glass. Now Aerin was looking at me.

She waved goodbye and I waved as well. Then I turned around and headed towards the gate. There was no turning back now.

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It wasn't very long until I found myself sitting on the plane, next to a blonde girl who refused to stop fighting with the man sitting next to her. It reminded me somewhat of how Summer and I would bicker like that. It made me laugh.

The pilot began to talk and I zoned again. Who needed that stuff anyways? Before I knew it we were taking off. My ears popped and I flinched. But we were soon in the air at a reasonable altitude, and the blonde girl and her.…whatever he was were fighting once again. I rolled my eyes; this was going to be a long flight.

My mind went back to Aerin who had to get another flight. Then it went back to Newport. Ryan was gone. Could I have possibly wished him dead? It certainly seemed that way. I remember wishing that he was dead, and now he was. There wasn't much I could do but go home. Which was why I was on this plane. I put my headphone jack into the matching one in my CD player, put in the DriveShaft CD that Aerin had bought me, and turned it up as loud as possible.

Slowly, my eyes closed and I fell asleep.

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My eyes reopened quickly as the blonde girl was shaking the hell outta my arm. She had already torn the headphones out of my ears. That was when I noticed the yellow oxygen masks a few inches from our heads. Quickly I put it on. What the hell was happening?

I began to panic. I was going home. This wasn't supposed to happen. What had I done to deserve this? Was the plane really crashing? Why else would the oxygen masks come out? Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

I had expected to be going home to Newport… but now… that didn't look very good. I looked over towards the window and saw land. Oh shit. We were all going to die. Shit. What was I going to do? I couldn't do anything.

My breathing quickened even more as I felt myself being pulled back on the chair. If I would have looked back, I would have realized that the entire tail of the airplane had broken off. But that would have made things even worse. There was nothing.

I felt nothing. My body went numb as the girl next to me began to shriek. Newport? Fat chance. I was on my way straight to hell. Everything went black.

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**A/n:** This is Kim… and I cried when I tried to type "Ryan was dead" and I was like… holy shit, what am I doing? I need to write in my other story too… which I will probably do after completing this one… then I have to send it off to Ali for checking. And I learned how hard it was to not type bloody. I am such a Charlie writer…

Oh yes… the next chapter will be specifically Newport so Ali will be writing that… and then it is my turn. laughs evilly

alexis – Poor Seth? Poor Seth? What the heck? Hota ka!

i-luv-the-oc-and-smallville – Haha! That was my idea (being Kim) because it was originally Mandy.. and I changed it. GO SUMMERAN!!! Sorry, that was random and I meant to type Alex/Marissa, but it didn't come out…

Daniela – Happiness doesn't last forever.


	3. Two Extremes

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen, and he runs away (knowing that it worked before), but something happens sending him into a crashing situation. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Ali's writing. I only edited and posted… Uh just a little note, this is from Kirsten's POV.

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"**Two Extremes"**

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Hospitals bothered me. I never did well in them, thank goodness I never had to stay in them long. Years ago, when my sister broke her arm and I had to stay there at the hospital, I passed out at a point when I saw a patient bleeding profusely. I had to stay overnight all alone, because Hailey got to go home and my dad had work the next day. At first I thought I was alone, but in came my mom. She was the greatest. Too bad she had no clue what her husband would do.

It had been a week since the accident, Ryan was lying lifeless on the bed. I had shed so many tears over the last two months, Seth had yet to talk to anyone. We knew where he was, but Sandy refused to go after him. I didn't understand why he wouldn't go after him, since Seth ran away without any warning or note, but Sandy just kept saying that Seth "needed time."

Summer had fallen asleep in a chair next to Ryan. She had been in the accident too. I could see the scar above her right eye so clearly. She had only gotten out two days ago, and she stayed in the hospital ever since. She barely left Ryan's side. Tears sprung up to my eyes again and I quickly wiped them away. I told myself not to cry anymore. Like that actually worked.

Everything had fallen apart after Seth left. I still remember that day so well. Talking to him as he drove away, arguing with Sandy, finding Seth's room empty. That may have been one of the worst days of my life. This time when he left, he didn't give us a note. He didn't call us to tell us where he was. I had yet to hear Seth's voice in two months other than his answering machine.

Summer stirred and woke up, and she pulled a lock of hair behind her ear with her broken arm. It had no signatures on it, since she really hadn't seen anyone. No one in school came to visit her, except for Marissa. But Marissa made a disappearing act every time Ryan was mentioned.

"Hi, Mrs. Cohen," Summer greeted me.

"You can call me Kirsten," I had grown closer to Summer, she really cared about........Ryan. That's who she was with. Not Seth.

"Right," I knew she was uncomfortable with calling me Kirsten. I didn't understand it. On too many occasions had she told me she felt like everything was her fault. It wasn't hers, and it wasn't Ryan's, nor mine or Sandy's. so what caused Seth to leave?

Summer looked to the sleeping Ryan, who had yet to open his eyes since the accident. It pained me so much to see him. The phone call about the accident was just about the worst. From what I gathered from the police report and Summer, the two had been driving when a car from the other side of the road, a drunk driver, crashed into them. Summer says she doesn't remember much, since she blacked out. As did Ryan. Except he has yet to wake up.

"Do you think he'll wake up soon?" Summer asked me, but I had no answer for it. I didn't know. It could be tomorrow, it could be next week. I looked to Ryan as well. His face was severely bruised, gosh, he looked dead. He was almost dead. They barely saved him. That was when I called Seth, my last attempt at trying to save my family.

"I hope so," I told her, barely lifting up her spirits. My cheering up didn't quite work. Damn. The depression that had enveloped Newport really sucked.

"Have you, told, um........Seth?" I hadn't heard Summer say 'Seth' in a long time. The only time I ever heard it was when we tried calling him. A lot of the times, we just avoided saying his name because it hurt so much. I missed him so much. Two months was too long to not talk to your family. I may have done that when I was younger, but I called. I never just left without any remorse and never calling.

"I called. Left a message really. That was the night when...." I didn't finish. Summer knew what I meant. She looked down, and I saw tears fall down her face. That was the night we almost lost Ryan. Both my sons had almost been gone. But they saved Ryan, just Seth never called.

"How do you know he's still alive?" It still confused me about why he left. I knew he found out about Summer and Ryan, but then he just left. I remember watching him drive away that day. He wasn't happy, and I didn't understand. I didn't stop him. I wished I had. It was my biggest mistake.

"He sometimes uses the credit card he took. It's a little way we know he's alive," Seth always used the card for the stupidest things, a dollar Egg McMuffin, a pack of gum, the littlest thing he could possibly find. That's how I knew it was him using the card. I think, subconsciously, he used the card to tell us he was okay. Everyday we worried if he was alive, and we would have to wait until the end of the month to know if he was. So Sandy set up the account to send us a report every week. It didn't make us worry as much.

"Do you think he'll come back?" Summer stared up at me with complete and utter sadness in her eyes. I wanted to say something that I truly believed. But what did I believe? That he would all of a sudden come back and everything would be okay? By now, I had given up most of my hope that he would come back. He obviously was over with Newport.

"I hope so. It all depends on if he checks his messages," I could believe that. I mean, I did hope he would come back, and it did depend on if he checked his messages. Too bad I didn't believe myself.

"Yeah. But what if he has? And just, like didn't want to talk to us?" That I had not really ever thought about. He wouldn't do that. Would he? I was hoping he never read the messages. But honestly. Who doesn't check their voice-mail messages for two months? The not wanting to talk to us theory was a lot more logical than the one I kept telling myself in my head.

"I don't like to think like that," I completely dismissed the idea. If I doubted Seth would ever come back, I wanted to think he didn't know how much he hurt everyone. Every single person we knew had been hurt by Seth, for some reason. Alex, his supposed girlfriend, who used to visit every so often in the beginning, hoping he was finally home. They needed to 'talk.' Marissa, who felt horrible and completely sorry for some reason. She never told me why. Lindsay, my sister, called him a liar on multiple occasions. I didn't quite fully understand that, neither did anyone else, Lindsay never said anything about it.  
I had recruited everyone to try to get Seth back, for a while, I really thought he would come back, and be his old self. But by now, he was grown up, he had to be. If he was alone in Sydney trying to survive.

I decided to leave Summer alone with Ryan, and I headed out to the hall. I looked for Sandy, finding him quickly enough, talking to a doctor. That couldn't be good. It was never good when you talked to a doctor. Sometimes it was, but mostly it was bad.  
"What was that?" I asked my husband when he finished his conversation with the doctor. Everything with my dad and Renee Wheeler and Lindsay had just about ripped us apart, but when Seth left, we stayed together. Strange actually, because that day we had been talking about getting a divorce.  
"Well, I was just asking the doctor if he any more information on how long Ryan would be like he is," Sandy answered. He kept asking the doctor, but it never changed. He just did it to avoid Ryan's room. I didn't really understand why he didn't want to go in.  
"And?" I amused him, already knowing the answer. Granted, I was quite sick of watching Ryan lie there, comatose. But I knew it would take a while for him to recover. He had taken a hard blow to the head. I wanted him to come out soon, otherwise, I'd lose it. He had been in that damn coma for too long.

"Could be a few days, or a few years. It all depends," For some reason, I really had expected for the answer to change. It didn't. It wasn't right or fair for Ryan to be in a coma. He didn't deserve it. No one deserved to be hurt that badly. Physically, or emotionally. "You okay?" Sandy sensed my worry. Damn. He always did. I couldn't hide it.

"I'm fine," I tried to lie to him. Maybe he'll believe me this time.

"Come on. What's bothering you?" Oh well. I tried.

"Everything," I had to sit down. I knew Sandy would want more details. And I also knew I would spill everything. Every feeling I had until I had nothing to do but cry when Sandy would hold me and try to make it better when it couldn't.

"What do you mean, 'everything'?" Sandy wanted information. He knew what I meant. He just wanted to hear it from me. It was that attorney thing. Always have the person speak for themselves. What if they don't want to? I gave in and told him.

"Everything! My dad! Ryan! Seth! Everything is so messed up, and I can't stand it!" I broke into tears. I knew I would do that, but I didn't hold them back. I never held them back. I just turned into the sobbing mess. I always did.

"Calm down. It'll be okay. Ssshhh. Calm down. How about we go home? You can relax, and watch a movie? Over The Top? I'm always in the mood for that one. And you can be worry-free. If anything happens with Ryan, Summer will call," Sandy suggested. That did sound good. I did need to relax.

"Okay," I nodded in agreement. I got up, and headed back into Ryan's room. Summer was now standing at the window, staring out of it. Ryan hadn't changed unfortunately. "Um, Summer?"

Summer turned around to look at me, startled.

"Listen, I'm gonna go. Um, if anything happens with Ryan, just call. You have my number," I didn't think I could leave. I wanted to be with Ryan. It was hard leaving. I took a deep breath and hugged Ryan, he didn't hug back. Go figure. Then I hugged Summer, she had almost become a daughter to me. Sandy stood in the doorway, still not going into the room. I left Ryan with Summer and walked out of the room. I held onto Sandy as close as I could as we walked out of the hospital and to the car.

Sandy drove, I still had tears blurring my eyes. I didn't say a word as Sandy put on his favorite radio station, that played show tunes. Not all the time, but enough to get annoyed of Sandy belting them out. Now, he did it either to just annoy me or to cheer me up. Both usually worked, because I would be pissed at him as he sang, but once I looked at him, I couldn't help but crack up. Today, a smile didn't form on my face.

He noticed that I was sad, and he stopped singing. Something he rarely does. He payed attention to the road, as I stared out the side window. It was taking forever to get home. I was going insane. I just wanted to relax and sink into the couch, and watch Over The Top.

Sandy unlocked the house door once we got home, and we were greeted by a rush of emptiness. The house was dark, relatively cold, and empty. Now it was only me and him. With Seth and Ryan, I never noticed how big this house was. But it was really big. Without them or Seth's big mouth, we just had a gargantuan of a house all to ourselves.

There was no comic relief anymore, nor brooding. Well, Sandy and I occasionally brood, but not like Ryan did. I made myself laugh a little. On the inside. I don't remember the last time I laughed.

"I'll check the messages," Sandy told me as I headed into the kitchen to pour myself a drink. I had taken one sip, when I heard Sandy scream. "Hey, CayCay called! You gotta hear this message!" I took my drink and went out into the family room to see Sandy pressing the back button on the machine. He put the volume up to the top, so I could hear perfectly.

"Kiki, we need to talk. I was thinking that we could have a dinner. One with all my girls. Julie had Marissa and Kaitlin oblige, so I just need you, and Hailey. Where is Hailey anyways? Well, get her here, okay? Oh, and the last one...." I heard my father command me.

"Lindsay, Cal. The last one is Lindsay. Honestly, you can't even remember all of your daughters' names! I'm amazed you remembered my name!" Julie complained from in the background. Okay, that put a tiny smile on my face.

"Yes, Lindsay. So, tell me what you think of that and call me back. Bye, Kiki." Caleb hung up. I didn't much care what he wanted. I hadn't talked to my father in a while. Ever since Chrismukkah, I hadn't talked to him a lot. I avoided him at all costs.

"That's pretty bad, don't you think? Not even remembering your kids' names. But I can see the problem he has with remembering it. I mean, he only kept her a secret for sixteen years." Sandy joked. I didn't say anything and let him ramble. I knew if I said a word, we would get in a fight, and I didn't want that. I wanted to relax. "Hey, can you pour me a drink?" Sandy asked me with puppy dog eyes. I rolled mine and went back into the kitchen to pour him a drink.

I grabbed a wine glass and took the liquor in my other hand. I began to pour him a drink.  
"Mom.......Dad......its Seth....." The words echoed through the house. I gasped a little bit, and the wine glass fell from my hands. "What the hell is going on? What happened to Ryan?" I set the liquor on the table, and walked out to the family room again. Sandy just looked at me, stunned. "I'm sorry that I left, but Ryan is just Ryan......I don't know what I'll do if he died," Tears poured from my eyes. It was my baby. He had actually called. "Uh, call me back, correction, I'll call you back." I went to Sandy who held me close as I took it in. "I'm getting a plane home....." Those were the words I had waited two months for. He was coming home. Really coming home. "And....and… there is someone else coming too…" I didn't care. My mind was spinning. "Just I hope you can forgive me. And I really hope that Ryan is not dead, but it sure as hell sounds like it. I'll talk to you later then…" The message ended.

"Sandy....." I whispered, I couldn't believe what was happening. Seth was coming home. Really coming home. That had to have been the single greatest moment in my life.  
"I know. He's coming home. Really coming home," Two months we had waited to hear from Seth, and we missed it. But that didn't matter. He called. He was coming home. With someone else, but none the less, it didn't matter. My son was really coming home. We had waited so long, and finally, our wish was coming true.

"I can't believe it," I was in total shock. I was going to see my son again. We would hug, and we'd tell him Ryan wasn't dead, and then Ryan would wake up. We would be a happy family again. These two months could disappear.

"Mom… dad… I'm coming home." Seth's voice filled the house again, and I felt myself crying harder. This was it. He was actually coming back to Newport. "I'm on Oceanic Flight 815…" A flight I'd never forget. Those numbers would be burned in my head, the flight that would bring my son home. "I'll be home by… well I'm not very good with time zones, but I'll be home soon," I still couldn't believe it. I mean, this was something I dreamed about. "Please forgive me…" More tears ran down my face as I heard him hang up. I did forgive him. How could I not? He was my son, the person me and Sandy had raised. I'd love him no matter what. And he was coming home.

"Sandy, he's really coming home. I can't believe this!" My mind was barely wrapping around what was happening. Seth was coming home. Seth was coming home.

"I know. And by the time he recorded this, he might be waiting at the airport now." Sandy pointed out. Holy crap. I didn't think it would happen this soon. I just got used to the idea.

"Let's go," I told my husband. He agreed and we ran to the car, heading out. I was in shock, pure amazement that this was actually happening. I mean, we had waited two months to hear from Seth. And he was finally coming back. I couldn't say it more. I mean, we almost lost Ryan, and I would die if I lost a son.

Sandy pulled out of the driveway and that was when I realized Seth never said the airport he would be at. Oh crap, that isn't good. We had no clue.

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"Sandy, where are we going?" I asked him. What if we went to the wrong airport? How could he get in touch with us. He had called off some strange cell number. Sure, he could call us,, and that would be great, but what if he forgot our cell numbers? No, he wouldn't forget them. He remembered our home number. That was enough proof.

"LAX," Sandy simply answered as he turned onto the highway. I couldn't get him sometimes. He would just guess and see what happened.

"How do you know he'll be at LAX?" I wanted to know. I wanted to know how my husband magically knew what airport Seth was at.

"Well, I'm pretty sure Oceanic Flights is at LAX, and not anywhere else near here," Sandy replied as he passed a very, very slow person on the road. Why was it that when you had to get somewhere, that everyone else just decides to go ten fucking miles per hour?

"Oh," I said a little bit stupidly. How did Sandy know these things? I couldn't understand that. He just knew useless information that would one day come in immediate handy.

Sandy began to turn off the highway on the exit for LAX. We were getting so close. I would see my son again. The person I never thought I'd see again. He had left so suddenly, not caring who he hurt, and never talked to us again. But he came back for Ryan.

Then I began to think. The only reason Seth was coming home to see if Ryan was okay. He didn't want to leave, he felt it was his responsibility. No, I couldn't think that. He truly wanted to see everyone, because he apologized. Why would someone apologize for something they weren't sorry for?

I could see LAX in the distance. We were so fucking close. My head was going a mile a minute. Sandy didn't say a word. I looked over to him. He held no emotion on his face, shouldn't he be ecstatic? I sure as hell was.

"How about I wait for him while you park the car and then I call you when they're coming out?" Sandy had parked in front of LAX. My son wasn't far away. I thought this day would never come. But it had.

"All right," Sandy answered and gave me a kiss before I got out. Clutching my purse, I ran as fast as I could into LAX as Sandy went to find a parking spot. People were everywhere. Where was that damn flight thingy? You know the thing that tells you where the flights are at? Where the damn hell.... Oh, there it was.

I rushed to it. Reading every single flight, I found Oceanic Flight 815 from Sydney soon. There was another flight from Sydney, but from a different airline. That was only two hours behind Seth's flight. I checked the gate number and ran. I sped past everyone who again, decided to go as slow as they possibly could.

After going the wrong way, damn directions, I found the gate. A ton of people were waiting already. They were landing in, about twenty minutes. In twenty minutes, I would see Seth. Finally. Twenty minutes was a fucking second compared to two months.

Twenty minutes had passed. Where was he? Could there have been turbulence, or they had to touch done on something? The workers here began to freak me out. They were running around frantically, and I did not like it. I was getting worried. Why weren't they here yet?

Another twenty minutes. I was growing sick. Why wouldn't the workers tell us something? By now, I was sitting down and getting tired. I wouldn't take this anymore. I wanted to see my son, god dammit.

An hour. What the hell? Where the hell were they? It had been an hour and forty minutes. I really felt sick to my stomach.

I decided to call Sandy about fifty minutes ago. We were both sitting on the chairs, staring at the entrance/exit door, hoping to see Seth. He wasn't there. Damn it.

Another twenty minutes. No one had left. Of course they wouldn't, they were waiting for family members. Sandy had left to go to the bathroom. Leaving me all alone… to grow sick. I hated this.

"Attention people who are waiting for Flight 815: The plane seems to have lost some of their directions because of the weather. Please stay here for an attendant will escort you to our offices and we will notify you of what is occurring," An airline worker said over the loudspeaker. That wasn't right. What the hell? I couldn't take this. Oh dear God, what was wrong? They sugar-coated that. I know sugar-coating. I worked with my father enough. I got up and began to pace.

"Excuse me," someone from behind me tapped my shoulder and I jumped. She jumped back, and I turned to look at her. "Sorry." Her accent was clear. She had blond hair, with clear blue eyes.

"Oh no, it's fine," I told the girl. She seemed about nineteen in age, a little bet older than Seth. "Do you need help with something?" I asked her. What did she need from me?

"Actually, yes," Oh, so she did need something from me. Couldn't it wait? I was waiting for Seth. She wouldn't know him. She was probably one of my dad's clients or something. "By any chance, do you happen to know Seth Cohen?" I stared at the girl. She knew Seth. How? She couldn't be from Newport, I knew all of Seth's friends from Newport.

"Yes, I'm his mother. Why? Do you know him?" Stupid question. Of course she knew him. Otherwise, how would she know his name?

"Yes. I'm his girlfriend, Aerin," That had not been expected. Seth, with a girlfriend? Didn't he like obsess over them for an allotted amount of time, then date them? Maybe he had.

"No offense, but how can I trust you?" You can meet a lot of strange people at LAX. I mean, for all I know she could be some stalker trying to kill my whole family.

Aerin went into her bag and pulled out a cell phone. She began to play with it, what a perfect time to do that, and then finally handed the phone to me.

There was Seth, with Aerin. The picture brought tears to my eyes. I began to flip through all her pictures. Seth was in everyone one of them, and I saw that the two were smiling and laughing. The photos made me want Seth more.

"Well, I guess I can trust you. How has he been?" I wanted to know how Seth had held up during these two months, while his family went insane.

"He's been great. Until he heard your messages. He was really upset. How's Ryan?" I didn't think Aerin would actually ask how Ryan was. I mean, I expected her to go and date him or something. That's what Seth's girlfriends did. I think.

"He's........not dead," I didn't know how exactly to answer. I was talking to some stranger, and yet, she wasn't a huge stranger to Seth.

"That's good. Um, I should go. Do you know a good motel near here?" Aerin asked me, and then I felt bad. Seth's flight was hopefully delayed, and she was all alone in some weird country.

"You can come with me. There's my husband right now," I noticed Sandy walking up to us and he gave me a perplexed look, and I mouthed, 'Seth's girlfriend,' and he understood. Aerin opened her mouth to protest, but I stopped her. "It's fine. But Aerin, I actually have a small question."

"Yes?" She still felt strange around me, I could tell.

"Well, if you're dating Seth, then why weren't you on the same plane?" That idea had been bugging game. I needed to know an answer.

"There was one ticket left on his flight. So I told him to go," All three of us stood in silence for a moment, when an airport worker came up.

"Excuse me. Do you happen to know anyone on Flight 815?" The kid asked us.

"Yes....." I answered warily, feeling uneasy.

"Come with me," Sandy and I followed, and then Aerin after I urged her to come. We were led into an office, where I man sat looking through papers. He noticed us, and motioned for us to sit down, and he stopped looking through his papers.

"Now, Mr. and Mrs........" He began, but he didn't know our name.

"Cohen," Sandy answered and the man once again started to look through papers. I wondered why this was happening, why we had to talk to this man.

"Yes. Parents of Seth Cohen?" he asked and both Sandy and I nodded in unison. "Well, I need to inform you all of something.....Not too long ago, about an hour, we lost transmission with the plane…"

What the hell did that mean? Were they in some storm? "This sometimes can happen, and we get transmission back with them eventually, but we didn't…" Still not getting this. What was this all adding up to?

"And then we lost the plane on our radar. We've searched all the skies, contacted anyone we could, but no one can find the plane," That didn't sound good. Where the hell was the plane and where was Seth? "We believe...." He started and I took a deep breath.

"We believe that the plane mad crashed."

No. No. No. This couldn't be happening. No. Where was Seth? No. This isn't actually happening. The world had spun upside down and we had fallen into some fake world.

Tears fell from my eyes, they were no longer tears of joy. I was lost, as was my son, and this was a world I never thought to be in. Both sons in a crash, plane and car. Life was supposed to be coming up, not crashing down. Great choice of words there.

"I'm sorry," The man looked away from us, meaning we should leave. My legs didn't work and Sandy helped me up. I fell into him for support, for I know longer could hold my own weight. It had become too heavy. Aerin never moved.

"Aerin. Come on. You should come home with us," I barely whispered to her. She was also crying, but hers were silent, unlike mine.

Seth was gone. They couldn't find the plane. He was gone. I'd never see him again.  
Oceanic Flight 815. A flight I'd never forget. I would remember it forever, for that was the plane that took my son away.

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**A/n:** cheers for Ali that was good. Haha. As you can tell, it is mainly Kim rambling on in these, and you probably don't read these anyways. Haha. If you do… and you do review… type the word… uh… goat in the review. Haha!! Thanks to the reviewers from the last chapter:

alexis – I know!!

LostAngel2 – Haha! This is a co-op fic between me and my bestest friend… I have another Lost fic too… but I am almost done with it and kinda killed Charlie…

paige fan - shrugs Newport is Ali… I have no idea what she has planned.

GOAT!!


	4. Stranded

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen, and he runs away (knowing that it worked before), but something happens sending him into a crashing situation. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!! This is all me here. Yes me that killed Charlie… the me that… has issues killing her favorite characters…SHUT UP!!! I seem to be the one of the two of us who rambles here, so I am going to try and stop… unless it is important. Oh yes. If you don't watch the show and want to know exactly what these people look like go to… www. lost-media. com (without the spaces of course). They have some good pictures there.

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"**Stranded"**

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A stinging above my eyes was what I awoke to. What had happened? My eyes were blurry, I couldn't even make out blobs, just a big mass of light. A bright white light.

Then everything hit me, like watching a movie in fast forward. Ryan dead. Plane home. Plane crash. The crash part was what bothered me the most. Then the fact that I could only see a bright light, well it was the obvious 'dying' cliché.

I mean, everybody knows that you don't see a bright light when you die. Well, maybe you do, since the ones who die, aren't really around to tell you whether or not they saw a bright light. So one doesn't know if when you die, you see a bright light or not. It was probably just Hollywood taking over my mind again.

I continued to look up at the light, thinking of absolutely nothing. It stung my eyes quite a bit, but that didn't stop me from looking at it.

Then it started to move away, the brightness of it faded into nothing. My eyes moved around in their sockets as everything began to flood back to me once more.

We had been flying over an ocean. I was sure (and the chances were pretty good too) that we were going to crash into the ocean.

But by moving my hand around, I felt sand. We had crashed on an island. Talk about breaking the odds. Probably some spit of land that no one knew about (knowing my luck).

Slowly, my eyes closed again, welcoming the darkness that it brought.

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When my eyes opened again, I seemed to be under cover. I saw no sign of the bright light that I had seen earlier. Nothing. I propped myself up to get a better look at where I was.

I seemed to be in some sort of tent. There was no one there except for a lady on a makeshift cot. She didn't look like she was in the greatest shape. There was gashes all over her body (at least what I could see of it) as well as a very large burn running nearly the entire length of her arm.

I looked away. I thought that things like this only happened in movies or on TV. It never happened to actual people. Like me.

When I looked away, I got a somewhat clear view of the beach. It was kinda cool looking if it wasn't for the fact that I had no clue where I was or who anyone was. It wasn't a very good feeling.

Then there was the fact that I had no clue where Aerin was (Oh God, I missed her) or what she was doing. I had no clue about my family. Ryan. Ryan was dead, and I was stuck here. Wherever the hell 'here' was. The only thing I could think of was my mother; how she was taking this. If I hadn't run away in the first place, then maybe Ryan wouldn't be dead and I wouldn't be stuck on some stupid fucking island!

A few stray tears fell and I wiped them away quickly. I didn't know why or what I was so afraid of. I just was.

That was when I noticed the long scar/gash on my right arm. That was what I got for wearing a t-shirt. I studied it for a bit. It had been stitched closed by someone. It wasn't the best job, but at least I wasn't bleeding to death.

"I see you're up," someone said, starling me to the point of jumping slightly. I looked over to see a somewhat tall man with short black hair entering the tent. Who was he?

I didn't know how to respond to that or how to do much of anything. So I just sat there and stared at him.

"Not much of a talker are you?" he asked, walking around the tent. I laughed slightly. If only he knew. I just didn't know what to say, so I shrugged.

The man stopped doing whatever he had been doing before and wiped his hands on his shirt before holding one of them out to me. "Jack," he said simply.

I grabbed his hand and we shook. He had a strong grip. "Seth." I stated, just as simply. That completed our entire conversation. He started to look over the woman, looking over at me every now and then, but not saying a word to me. He did talk to himself though.

I tried to get as much information as I could from the little bit that I had talked to him for. He seemed quite sure of himself, yet still questioned what he was doing. He seemed like he was unsure of himself. A little bit like me when I thought about it.

Then he just left without saying a word. I decided to try and explore a bit. Shifting around, I got my feet moved, when I realized that I was already on the ground. I was beginning to feel weal & just a bit nauseated. I felt myself falling back down to the ground. It didn't hurt as much as I expected it to. So somehow I had managed to survive the crash, as did this Jack guy, and the lady lying next to me.

I had no clue how many other people had survived, or how long I had been out. But I had lived. I was alive.

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Night fell on the island, and I regained enough strength to stand up and walk out of the tent. The sight was so awe inspiring, yet so troubling at the same time.

There on the beach was the wreckage of the plane, a fire nearby and at least thirty… no forty people sitting… or walking around.

It was crazy.

I saw Jack talking to some girl. She looked pretty with somewhat long brown hair. She looked a little like Summer from the back, but when she turned to the side and her face was illuminated by the fire, I noticed how different she looked. She was nothing like Summer. I was just homesick.

Slowly, I walked over towards them, but stopped when I was within earshot & heard that they were in a deep conversation.

Not knowing what else to do, I simply sat down on the beach, watching the moonlit waves crash up on shore.

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I sat there for a while. Jack and the girl had left a while ago and no one noticed me sitting alone on the beach. I kinda figured that it would be like this for a while. I didn't feel much like talking anyways.

My mouth was dry from the lack of water or the lack of talking, or both maybe.

A sigh escaped me as I laid down on the beach and looked up at the stars. I remembered doing this with Aerin. We'd drive out to where there was no light and just looked at the stars. As many times as I tried to keep my mouth shut, the more I had the urge to talk, and that made Aerin laugh. A lot of things about me made Aerin laugh. I mean, the fact that I couldn't keep my mouth shut seemed to amuse her.

But now, staring up at the stars, I saw more stars than I ever saw in my entire life. It made me feel even more homesick. But I knew it would be a while before we got rescued.

I sighed again and silently continued to watch in silence. There were no planes, there were no clouds. Just stars and space.

My eyes began to close as they got heavier and heavier until I fell into a dreamless sleep.

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**A/n: **Sorry this is so short. I didn't know what really to write before I got into the juicy parts. Thanks to the reviewers:

Daniela – Aerin? Who needs Aerin… J/K

Shawdie – I was on vaca… haha.

orange-tide – GEEZE ALI!! SORRY!!!

DeuCe628 – Why? That would make the story pointless. I have a good Lost plot that will happen!

Harper's Pixie – Goats are like the coolest animal in the existence of… ever. So you're an OC freak too… well… I went over to the Lost side… which would be why I am writing the Lost portions of this story. Haha. I can't promise you anything, but can only say… I did it once, I don't think I could stand to do it again.

Princess Nayness – Haha. Lost is the most amazing show on TV… in the first half of it's first season it got nominated for best Drama… FIRST SEASON! I am hyper. Haha


	5. Smooth Cohen, Smooth

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen, and he runs away (knowing that it worked before), but something happens sending him into a crashing situation. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Okay… back to Newport… maybe… or not. Uh, this chapter takes place after the episode "Confidence Man" in case any of you watch the TV show lost… Ali… sorry.. I had an idea and ran.

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"**Smooth Cohen, Smooth"**

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The days moved slowly. I tried to help out in as many ways possible, but I kept mainly to myself except to talk to some guy named Sawyer. Nobody seemed to like him very much. In fact, many people hated him.

I couldn't find any reason to dislike him. Sure he was an asshole, the first time I met him. But he wasn't that bad once I talked to him. Maybe that was it. No one took the time to talk to him.

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_I was sitting alone on the beach like I seemed to be doing a lot lately, well, at least since the plane crashed. That was when I first met him. The man that I would soon come to know as Sawyer walked over to me._

"_Hey kid, somethin' got ya down?" he asked with a strong southern accent._

_I didn't answer. I had heard talk. He was a jerk, a jackass, and nothing good could ever come from him. Just because I didn't talk didn't mean that I didn't listen to it._

"_You gonna talk to me kid?" he asked again, now sitting down next to me. He couldn't take the silence as a 'leave me alone' gesture, could he?_

"_Kid, you have to talk sometime. Better now than later…" he said. Why did he want to talk so bad? And of all people, why the hell did he want to talk to me?_

_I looked over at him with a 'leave me alone' glare. He laughed. I wish I knew why he laughed. Sawyer was an odd guy that was for sure._

"_You let everything inside of ya, you'll go crazy…" he said, getting up and heading to leave. Good riddance._

"_Wait…" I said, my voice cracking slightly from the lack of talking. I don't know why I stopped him, but I was glad that I did. He seemed to be just as alone on this island as I was._

_The man turned around and smiled. "What's your name, first things first," he said, as he sat back down near the place he was originally sitting. _

"_Seth Cohen," I responded, looking at him as if to question his name._

_He got the hint and responded, "Sawyer… just Sawyer."_

_The response to that was silence. Once again, I got trapped in thought._

"You let everything inside of ya, you'll go crazy…"

_Ryan was dead. My mom was probably devastated. I had ruined my family. So as punishment, I sat here, on some rotten island, having the thoughts plague me, on and on. Over and over, hour after hour, slowly driving me insane. Images of my mom sobbing and then flashes of seeing Ryan dead. _

_It was enough to make anyone go crazy._

"_Nice to meet you Sawyer." I said simply once more._

"_Nice to meet you too Cohen." Cohen. Summer would call me Cohen. In fact, I can only recall once or twice when she didn't call me Cohen, and those weren't very good memories. _

_The man must have sensed the little bit of emotion I was showing. "You can trust me." he said. I laughed internally. From what I had heard of Sawyer, you couldn't trust him as far as you could throw him. But he seemed nice enough, and he didn't seem like the gossip Newspie wannabes that would tell anything you said to them to everyone else they came in contact with._

_He seemed like one who would keep a secret. _

_There was more silence. But it wasn't odd. It just was. It wasn't annoyingly quiet. The sound of the waves splashing up on shore hit my ears, and was relaxing, but couldn't get the pictures out of my head. _

"_Driving ya nuts, ain't it?" Sawyer said, with a small laugh. "Let it out kid."_

_Let it out? He didn't understand how hard it was to just let go. Let everything out. But it was driving me crazy. _

"_You miss your family? You miss your friends? You miss your normal life in general?" he asked. Yes. Yes. Yes. If I wouldn't have been such a stubborn ass I wouldn't have been stuck in the stupid situation. _

_I nodded._

"_Well, you actually responded," he said sarcastically. Sarcasm was usually my thing. But I hadn't felt very sarcastic lately. _

_I chuckled slightly. _

"_Let it out kid. Things'll just get worse if ya keep 'um pent up inside." From what I had heard of Sawyer, this was nothing like him. He must have wanted something. _

_I still said nothing. I wasn't exactly sure that I could trust this guy yet. _

_We remained silent for the rest of the time. Until he finally bored of the way that I spent my life and got up. "Well, nice talking to ya Cohen." he said simply, before tossing something at me._

"_Thought you'd like to have this…"_

_And with that he left. I wasn't quite sure what it was, but when I opened it, I found my wallet. I thought I had lost it. It was a little water damaged, but I could still see the pictures clearly. _

_I turned to thank him, but he was gone. Smooth Cohen, smooth._

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I began talking to him a little more and more. Nobody was really around when we talked, then again, nobody really talked to Sawyer that much and everyone else just seemed to ignore my existence. We were two people that were on the plane with nobody, and that was what we had in common.

"Cohen…" he said as he walked over towards me. I was sitting on the edge of a wooded area, looking out at the blank, empty ocean. It never changed; there was never a boat or a ship. There were never planes overhead. It was so odd.

"Sawyer." It was the way we always greeted each other.

"You ready to spill your guts out yet?" he asked.

I laughed slightly. He always asked that and the answer was always the same. Maybe today would be different. I felt like being different. I should now felt like I could trust Sawyer. We had talked somewhat and I began trusting him little by little.

Sure we had only been on the island… a few days (I had already lost track of how many days we had been stuck on the stupid spit of land). But he was the only one that paid any attention to me. The only one who really gave a shit about me.

I sighed. "Cohen, let me tell you one thing. If you don't let it out, you'll never get rid of it…"

I knew that he was right. I didn't want him to be right, but he was. "Fine…" I said. Better get it over with.

Sawyer said nothing as I got myself ready to tell the story of my screwed up life when the image of my mom crying over Ryan's dead body entered into my mind.

I shook it off. "I guess it all started when I ran away…"

"You ran away Cohen?" Sawyer cut me off. "Why am I having trouble picturing this?"

I laughed a bit and glared at him, but continued on anyways. "To Sydney. My girlfriend cheated on me with my step-aunt, and my brother was messing around with my ex-girlfriend. Parents wanted to get a divorce. A whole pile of shit piled on top of me at once. And I couldn't handle it. So I ran."

Sawyer gave me an odd look. Oh yes. The big Cooper-Cohen-Nichol incestrial circle. I had almost forgotten about it. Damn myself for making me remember about it. But he said nothing.

I continued. "I was in Sydney for two months… had a whole new life there. It didn't matter that I didn't finish high school. It was a fresh start, something new. I liked it."

"Now wait a minute…" Sawyer said, cutting me off once more. "You didn't finish high school… how old are you?"

"Seventeen," I said simply, before continuing. I wanted to get this over with. The sooner the better. "Then my girlfriend, not the one that cheated on me mind you, convinced me to check my messages, and I find out that my stupid brother went and died…" with those few words, my demeanor diminished and I felt hot, salty wet tears falling down.

"And then the fucking plane crashed, and now I'm here… and I keep seeing… I keep seeing this picture of my mom… and she's crying… and Ryan's dead… and… if I wouldn't have left, then Ryan wouldn't be dead and I wouldn't be stuck here!"

I couldn't say anymore. I had pushed myself over the edge by actually letting it out. It felt kinda good, but it stung even more, because I was admitting everything. I pulled my legs up to my chest and curled up into a fetal position, sobbing.

I felt so weak, so vulnerable. So horrible. I had forgotten that Sawyer was even there until I heard someone shout his name.

"Damn it Sawyer, can you ever do anything that doesn't hurt someone?" I heard someone shout. I looked up through the tears to see Jack and Kate walking over. Shit.

"I wasn't doc," Sawyer said. I couldn't find any lies in what he said. But Jack sure did.

"Sure you weren't. You made the kid break down Sawyer. And don't say you didn't. We saw you." Kate said.

Sawyer laughed. "Freckles, you didn't hear the conversation, you don't know what happened,"

But he was stopped by the loud sound of flesh hitting flesh as Kate slapped him hard across the face. "Leave Sawyer."

He didn't move. I felt invisible again. Sure I was the one that caused this, but once again I was being ignored. Sawyer didn't move until Jack grabbed him and lifted him up. I felt bad for not saying anything, but I couldn't think of anything to say.

I looked at Sawyer as he stopped and looked at me.

"Leave the poor kid alone," Jack said. Kid. That was all that I was to everyone on the stupid island was a kid. I wasn't Seth Cohen. Hell, I wasn't even Seth or Cohen… I was a kid.

Sawyer just looked at me before turning and leaving.

"Are you okay Seth?" Jack asked. Wow. I was amazed. He remembered my name.

I didn't answer as I got up, wiping the tears away, and storming off into the jungle.

"_Smooth Cohen,"_ I could hear my voice in my head. _"Real smooth."_

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**A/n:** I know.. Sawyer was out of character majorily… but it'll make more sense later. I hope you didn't mind that I added another Lost chapter in here, but I had the idea and ran. The last chapter wasn't that crappy was it?


	6. Role Reversal

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen, and he runs away (knowing that it worked before), but something happens sending him into a crashing situation. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Finally, we go back to Newport. Hota ka Ali!

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"**Role Reversal"**

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I hadn't left my room in three whole days. Three long, miserable, terrible days. I was in denial. Seth wasn't dead. How could he be? He was Seth, he was the only person in this family that hadn't fully lost it. Wait, he had. And he was gone. Not just to Sydney. He was really gone. No. I hadn't lost my son. This wasn't happening. No. No. No.

"Hey," Sandy said as he stood in the doorway. I stared at him for a moment, trying to do that look that Ryan does when he wants to be left alone. How does he do that? I mean, you just know. My look just was stupid. "You know, Aerin seems like a nice girl. She really cared about...." Sandy didn't finish. He had been trying to get me out of this goddamn room since I went into hiding when we got home from the airport. I refused to see anyone. Not unless they were Seth. And that was impossible.

I continued to stare at him and he walked over to me. I wanted him to leave. To leave me alone. I wanted to be left in misery. Misery and denial worked. It's not like the outside world was so great. My dad was facing jail, Ryan was in a coma, and Seth was dead.

Aerin had seemed like a nice girl, but I had yet to speak to her since that airport. Sandy had obviously, and he was taking this okay. I didn't see how he could. Our son was dead and he just acted as though Seth was still in Sydney. Seth had practically disappeared from our lives. He never called, or wrote, and then everything was happening. We wanted to talk to him so badly, but he refused. Now look where it got him.  
Sandy sat next to me, just like he'd been doing for the past three days. He didn't say a word, he just sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. He knew I was taking this really roughly and he accepted that. He tried to get me to open up, but I couldn't. My voice box was gone. Kaput.

"Are you ever gonna come out of your cave? You haven't spoken to me in so long," He told me. I knew I would break. Didn't I always? He had that effect on me. I could only not talk to him for so long. Three days had been long. So I looked at him, with my eyes brimming with tears. "Come on, speak. I'd like to hear your voice."

I looked away, because I was about to break. Why was this happening? Seth hadn't deserved this, we hadn't deserved this. Seth was gone. Seth was dead. I kept thinking it, but it didn't sink in.

"Please?" Sandy begged and I tried to look farther away from him, but I couldn't. If I did, I'd be looking at him again. Instead I stared at the back board of the bed. For some odd reason, it made me think of Seth. Damn it, here comes the tears. "Pretty please?"

"Go away," I muttered to him, trying to hold back the consistent tears. I wanted to go back in time and stop Seth. I could've stopped him, but I didn't. God, I would regret that moment for the rest of my life.

"Well, that's a start. But how about coming down and eating? Who knew food is good for you?"

Sandy wasn't going to let me stay in my room any longer. Damn it. I guess I couldn't stay in here forever. I mean, I needed time, and I was getting a little bit better. And I did want to see Ryan. And that would include me leaving my room.

"Fine," I gave in and Sandy helped me to my feet. I hadn't really gotten out of bed most of these three days. I wobbled a bit, and practically fell. Good job.

Once I got my balance, we walked down the hall and into the kitchen. Aerin was cooking, something that I was really, really, bad at, and talking with Lindsay.

My half sister had been really good during the last two months. Much better than all my other sisters. Hailey called a few times, but other than that she had some wonderful life in Japan. Good for her. I mentioned Seth running away, and all she said was "He'll come back. He just has to figure his life out. I came back." Right. Then she left. And came back. And left. And was found to be a stripper. And then stayed for the summer. And then went to Japan. When she had told me that, I prayed Seth wouldn't come out like her, I wanted him to do something with his life. Now, he couldn't.

Marissa didn't come by as much as she used to. According to Summer, she hung out a lot with her friend, Alex. Wasn't Seth dating her or working with her? I don't remember. I couldn't keep up with that stuff for some reason. It felt like a month ago when I first learned Ryan had been dating Marissa. That was a year and a half ago.

"Wow, you're out," Lindsay told me. She put on a fake smile for me. Everyone did that around me. I seemed to make everyone smile. Did that help me? Make me feel better? No, it just made me more sure that we all are faking our way through this.

Lindsay practically stayed over here all the time. She still wasn't on very good terms with her mother or my dad, and whenever things were too tough, she was welcome here. I needed someone to talk to every so often. Even if she was about 25 years younger than me.

I couldn't believe this was our life. We had no one anymore. Everyone was alone. Lost.

Aerin was looking around for an escape. She didn't like to be in the same room as me or Sandy. I think she felt uncomfortable with us. She was the last person we knew that saw Seth alive.

"Stay," I croaked as she began to leave. The fourth word I said all day, a new record. I was warming up a bit, but not totally. I wanted to warm up, but everything was just falling apart. Now, I had to deal with the full lose of my son. Before, I at least knew he was alive. Now, he was dead. And my other son was on life support and in a coma. What happened to them? Our family used to be so happy; we would joke, laugh, and smile from being happy. Now, we could even get a real smile on our faces.

Aerin looked at me and tried to put on a smile. She went back to her cooking and I sat down. I was too tired to stay up, I just wanted to sleep. And all I had done was sleep. Can you get tired from sleeping?

"So, I went to see Ryan this morning and he's okay, hasn't woken up yet. Summer was there. I think she might come over soon. She mentioned it. Does she know?" Lindsay tried to start a conversation. Sandy helped Aerin with the food and a plate was put in front of me. I was hungry, but I couldn't eat it. Seth was gone, didn't anyone get that? He was dead. Not coming back.

"No, we haven't told her. We haven't even gone up to see Ryan since we came back from the airport," Sandy answered Lindsay's question. Aerin looked down, and I suppose I was kinda staring at her, but seeing her made everything real. She was here, yet Seth wasn't. She was with Seth when he said goodbye, forever. She had survived because of him, and he died instead.

The crash had been all over the news, supposedly. We didn't have a television in our room, but Sandy had kept up with watching news. The wreckage had yet to be found. How could you not find a giant plane? Someone should've noticed it. That would mean either that the plane crashed in the water, or was on some deserted island. Yeah right.

"Right," Lindsay seemed to have ended the conversation. I picked up my fork after I knew Sandy's gaze was on me. I moved the scrambled eggs around on my plate, hoping that would satisfy him. Nope, it didn't.

"Can you please eat?" Sandy begged and I looked up. Tears began to form, and I didn't know if I should run. I wanted to, but Sandy was clocking the way out. "I know it's hard, but we've gotta deal. He's gone."

How could he say that? There was a chance that Seth was still alive. A slim to nothing chance, but a chance none the less. I knew he was gone, but my heart didn't want to say goodbye. In my heart, there was a glimmer of hope still lingering. I had to hold on to that for dear life. Because once it goes away, all there is is the truth. That he's gone.

And how could we go on? Our son was dead. Didn't anyone really care? Was I the only one who did? Was I the only one who was feeling the pain? No one showed intense emotion like I had, not even Aerin. Well, I could tell she was devastated, but she tried to function. Better than me, I guess. But Sandy acted as if Seth had been a freaking cat. They mean something, just not as much anymore.

Was that why Sandy was acting like he was? Because he lost love for Seth? Sure, Seth ran away, but you can't stop loving him. He's our son, for crying out loud! Sandy just acted as though Seth was just the cousin of a best friend. You knew the person, and it was tragic to lose him, but it wasn't really a loss to yourself.

Sandy was still staring at me. I couldn't look up. I wanted him to stop. No one ate, or ate really silent that I couldn't hear. The kitchen was a battleground. Why was Sandy doing this? Couldn't he tell I was completely destroyed by Seth?

"Damn it, Kirsten! Will you take a freaking bite? You're gonna freaking kill yourself, just like Seth and Ryan did!" Sandy flipped out on me. He had cracked, and slammed his plate down on the counter, making all of us jump. He stormed out of the kitchen, leaving me fall into tears again.

So he was a fan of bottling up his pain and letting it topple over and then he would lose it. What had he meant, with Seth and Ryan killing themselves? Ryan wasn't dead. Almost dead, but he was alive, he just needed to heal. It had been a bad accident. And Seth didn't kill himself. He was just on a plane that crashed.

No one expected him to do that. I certainly hadn't. But that was Sandy. It really only had been a matter of time before he did crack. I would've followed him, but I knew he didn't want it. He needed time to figure out everything, then I would come. Like he had.

I took a bite of my food.

Lindsay and Aerin noticed, but they didn't say anything. What could they say? Good job, or way to go? I looked at the two of them. Lindsay stared down at her food, and Aerin was near tears. I don't know if she was like this for the last three days, but it didn't fully matter. She excused herself from the kitchen.

I felt the role reversal coming. Me and Sandy could not both break down. It was his turn to be sad and pessimistic. I had to be strong for the both of us, like he had. Usually, we both are in a good mood, but this was different. Sandy usually never flipped out. And now, I kinda had to take care of everything. Including Aerin.

I walked upstairs and went to the guest bedroom that Sandy had made up for her. I found her throwing clothes into the bag she had come with, tears pouring form her eyes. This had to be really hard. Being in a strange place, with your boyfriend's family, who happened to be in a plane crash. Oh yes, this happened all the time.

"What are you doing?" I asked her, but I knew. Why did people ask that if they knew what the person was doing? To be considerate?

"I shouldn't be here. I think I'll go back. Stay with my parents for a bit before I go back to, um, my....our....apartment," I didn't know Seth had an apartment. He really had a whole life in Sydney. More than he had in Newport.

"How?" I wondered. I mean, after this, you couldn't pay me enough to go on an airplane. And I don't think there were ships that took you across the Pacific.

"Um...." Aerin realized her dilemma. She was stuck. She tried to conjure an idea in her head, but I saw it was failing.

"Stay. We need you here. You were Seth's girlfriend, and we need you right now. I don't know how we're gonna get through all of this, but, just stay for a while. They could find him and then at least you can get closure. Heck, they might even find him alive. It's possible." Maybe they were living on some uncharted island, living and dealing. Maybe they had bamboo huts. Nah........... the living on an island idea was really farfetched. It sounded too Gilligan's Island.

"I don't know if they will, but..." Aerin still was arguing. She could not get a hint. I wanted her to stay, why did she always object everything? Because sometimes, things are too good to last. She just lost Seth, who was a really great kid, the best, according to me. Well, he was tied with Ryan.

"Just stay," I tried to end this conversation. She was thinking it over in her head for a second before she answered.

"Are you sure?" She asked me.

"Yes, I'm sure." I smiled the tiniest smile ever, which happened to be good for me. She smiled back and came over. She was a really great girl. Seth had been lucky.

The doorbell rang and I went downstairs, eventually followed by Aerin. Lindsay had come into the room and was heading to get the door, but I reached it first. I wanted to check on Sandy instead, but I supposed he needed some more time. Just like I had.

I opened the door to see Summer standing there. I wasn't ready to tell her. I was so not ready. I mean, we had to tell her that Seth was..... Oh gosh, why did Sandy crack now just when Summer came over. Couldn't he have waited? Just so I didn't have to be the strong one?

"Hi, Summer," I greeted her and noticed how innocent she looked right there. Like she really hadn't been in the real world and dealt with the stuff we had. The loss of a family member. Then her scar came into view. She had seen things that we never had, horrors in her nightmares we couldn't imagine.

"Hi Mrs. Cohen. Hey Lindsay," Summer didn't know anything was wrong with Seth. How could we tell her? Tell her that Seth was dead. It was too hard. I wasn't ready to tell her, I barely had a grip on it myself.

"Hey," Lindsay quickly looked up and returned the gesture before her gaze went back down to the floor. She didn't really know Summer all that well, since Summer was usually with Ryan, and Lindsay usually stayed here at the house.

"Can I come in?" Summer asked, not yet seeing Aerin. She was hidden from where Summer was standing. Oh well, this was happening. We were going to tell her.

"Sure," I moved out of the way to let Summer in. She kinda seemed suspicious, but not knowing why she was suspicious.

"Oh hi, I don't know you. I'm Summer," Summer saw Aerin and went over to her. She held out her hand, being really friendly. Had something good happened to Ryan? No, if something happened to Ryan, Summer would still be there calling us with tears in her eyes or jumping up and down. At least Summer was in a good mood. It was almost time to tell her.

"Aerin," Aerin shook hands with Summer. Who knew what would happen once Summer knew who Aerin was? I mean, Summer had been dating Seth for a while, and he had liked Summer since he was about six. Now, he had had a new girlfriend, and hated Summer.

"So what are doing here, Aerin?" Summer asked, being friendly. This wasn't going very well, I needed to leave, pronto.

"Um, I'm Seth's girlfriend, so....." Aerin answered warily. I had never wanted to leave a room so bad. I watched Summer's face as the smile disappeared and went into deep thought.

"Girlfriend. So does that mean he's back?" None of us looked at Summer in the eye. I knew if I did, I would cry. I wasn't going to cry, I would be funny-ish and sort of happy, and not cry.

"I'm gonna go get drinks and food and stuff that takes up time. So, you guys can sit and talk," Lindsay was good. Why hadn't I thought of that? It was the perfect escape.

"Can I come too?" I begged, knowing the conversation between Aerin and Summer would not be good.

"Sure," Lindsay and I turned to the kitchen as Aerin and Summer sat down on opposite couches. We got to work and I grabbed a bottle of soda and went to Lindsay with the glasses. I began to pour as she looked in on Summer and Aerin. "Stop," She took the bottle of soda and placed it back on the counter.

"What?" I didn't understand what she meant. Sure, this took up some time, but we couldn't just waste time.

"Don't actually do stuff. We're just faking it for a while," Lindsay explained and confused me more.

"But we have to get drinks and food...." I objected. Lindsay had opened up a lot more since Chrismukkah. She became a part of our family, our really screwed up family, and grew a bit of Cohen-sense of stuff. Yeah, that made total sense.

"Are you really close to this glass?" Lindsay had picked up a large glass that I barely remembered. I think we got it as a present a couple of years ago, and we never used it.

"No...... that was a gift we got...I don't even think we ever used that....Where did you find that?"

"In the back," Lindsay answered and went to the refrigerator and pulled out some orange juice. "You have enough of it," She commented to herself. She poured orange juice into the large glass, all the way to the tippy top. "Okay, now, Mrs. Cohen..."

"Kirsten," I corrected her. Why did everyone have a problem calling m by my first name? My own half-sister can't even call me 'Kirsten'

"Right, Kirsten, sorry. Still getting used to that sister thing. Anyways, usually older sisters teach younger sisters stuff. I'm switching that," And she pushed the glass off the counter.

The glass shattered into a million pieces, orange juice covering the floor. Okay, I wasn't even this bad in the kitchen.

"Why did you do that?" I whispered to Lindsay, knowing Summer and Aerin were watching.  
"Dang it! Clumsy me, sorry guys. I really did not mean to do that. Go on with you conversation, me and Mrs......" Lindsay paused a second. "Kirsten, will clean up," She told Summer and Aerin.

"Okay...." Summer looked strangely at us. I grabbed the paper towels and knelt down and started cleaning. Lindsay just sat on the floor.

"Aren't you gonna help?" I tried to picked up some glass, but it ws pricking my fingers, the pieces were so small.

"There's a more efficient way to clean. If you lay down a paper towel, and let it absorb the liquid, you don't waste any of the paper towel and it absorbs the most it can. That way, the dead tree's life wasn't in vain," Lindsay told me the ridiculous story that I did not buy. "Plus, we're eavesdropping."

"I don't think this is the time. I mean, we can't just start back up like our lives used to be..." I objected.

"Kirsten, if there's one thing I learned from Seth was that Cohens laugh through tears and make horribly timed jokes during traumatic events. And I think it's a really good theory. I mean, you stayed in your room for three days, that's not good. This way, when you laugh a little or something, it makes everything easier to deal with and even though Seth didn't really take his own advice, I think it helps," Lindsay stared at me. "And I don't want to let Seth down."

It was the nicest thing I had heard in a long time.

"Well, I guess we're eaves dropping," I stopped cleaning and listened to Summer and Aerin intently.

"You know, he did this before. Run away, I mean. I was dating him, and my boyfriend now had gone to Chino, that's a town, to help his pregnant friend. So Seth ran away on a little ass boat and left me a note, saying 'I have to do this alone.' I mean, who does that?" Summer was telling Aerin a tale of her and Seth.

"How long was he gone?" Aerin seemed a little weird around Summer. Who could blame her? Summer was Seth's first love, and.....yeah, I don't know. My mind was really blank at this moment.

"Three months. When he came back, he tried to get back together with me, and I totally flipped out on him," Summer answered.

"Did he ever call you or anything?" Aerin asked.

"Sure, for like the first month and a half. Then I told him to get lost on the Fourth of July. Because he hurt me, and wanted to be forgiven for just leaving and you can't forgive a person for that, right? Would you forgive him?" This was getting interesting....

"If I loved him, I would've waited," And there we have it. I knew Summer wouldn't be able to think of anything to counter that. Nothing beats the power of love.

"Oh, right. But oh well, if I had forgiven him, I wouldn't have dated Ryan, and he wouldn't have left, and he wouldn't have found you. But where is he? Reuniting with Captain Oats?" Wait, I remember that thing. It was the plastic horse I bought for Seth when he was really little. Did he still have that? I didn't know.

"Who's Captain Oats?" Aerin was confused. I was a little confused. Had Seth kept that plastic horse?

"Captain Oats is a little plastic horse that Seth has and talks to. Or used to, before he left without him...twice," Okay then, my son used to talk to a plastic horse. I never thought Seth was that lonely.

"Oh," Aerin commented.

"Where is he? I wanna hear what he's been doing since he last kind of destroyed Newport," Summer commented meanly. I knew we had to tell her now. I got up and poured drinks as Lindsay looked at me strangely.

"We have to tell her. We can clean up in a bit," I told Lindsay, who agreed, but first made a little dent in cleaning. "Sorry it took so long, it was a huge mess," I placed the drinks on the table and sat next to Summer as Lindsay sat next to Aerin.

"It's cool, but where is Cohen?" Summer took a sip from one of the glasses. She didn't really notice any of our sullen faces.

"Summer, um, we got a call from about three days ago saying he was coming home. And we went to the airport and met Aerin, and waited for Seth," I really did not want to tell Summer this.

"Why weren't you guys on the same plane?" Summer asked Aerin.

"There was only one seat left," Aerin asked, holding back tears.

"Anyways, um, we knew that Seth had used Oceanic Flights.." I thought I'd left Summer figure it out herself, with me directing her to it.

"That's the airline that has the missing plane!" Summer remembered. Oh God, here it was coming. "Did you hear about that? It was coming from Sydney...." She paused as she thought about it. "To Los Angeles...." I knew Summer knew. This is what I dreaded. "Three days ago....." She was answering her question herself. She knew where Seth was. "Seth was on that plane?" She asked, and I could tell she hoped it wasn't true. All of us did.

I simply nodded and felt the tears fall down my face.

"Oh God. No. It's not true, right?" She looked to me and I refused to look up at her. "Oh God. Um, I have to go. I should check on Ryan or something. Oh God...." I finally looked up and Summer got off the couch. I could see a few tears running down her face and I felt worse. Telling someone made it all too real.

I watched Summer run out the door and I knew that Seth was really dead.

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**A/n:** Yay!

angeL - haha, I'll try… it's a co-op though…

alexis - Danka

Harper's Pixie - really? You didn't think he was totally out of character. I mean I tried to make him go back to being "Jackhole" Sawyer when Kate and Jack were around because… idk… I sense some Sawyer character growth coming up… poor Seth… the question is, what will it do to good ol' Sawyer?


	7. Uhoh

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen, and he runs away (knowing that it worked before), but something happens sending him into a crashing situation. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Gah! I am writing this soooo quickly!!! This is kinda funny. I had an idea and ran with it. I'm sorry that these Lost chapters are so short… but short and sweet. This takes place during "Raised by Another," at least the end…

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"**Uh-oh"**

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How could I have been so stupid? Not only had I totally broke down, but I go my only friend on this stupid island in trouble. Now he probably hated me. Great. Just one more person in my life that was pissed off at me. One more person in my life that hated me.

Now I was lost in the stupid forest. I had lost sight of Sawyer a long time ago, but continued walking anyways. I heard the cracking of sticks I had stepped on and the shuffling of my legs running past blades of grass. I knew it was me, so I didn't get scared.

I was alone. It was nearly silent. I had been really idiotic, hadn't I? I hadn't done anything remotely smart in the past, well, a long time. Losing my tempter, running away, not even talking to any member of my family. Then agreeing to go on a different plane than Aerin. That was what got me stuck on this stupid fucking island. Then I didn't make any move to get to know anybody personally on the island. And the one person I actually talked to, I got into trouble.

Yeah, I screwed up big time. Why did everything I do, or think about, turn into shit? It was just my luck.

I missed Newport. As much as I hated it there, I couldn't just leave. I missed my mom and dad, and this… this must have pushed them over the edge. Then there was Summer. What had she called me? A "stupid little bitch on a boat?"

Well, now I was a stupid little bitch on a plane. And then it hit me. Did anyone at Harbor notice that I had gone? Did anyone give a shit? Probably not. I continued walking, getting even more lost, but I didn't care.

Aerin. I wish I knew what she was going through. I wish I wouldn't have listened to her and gone on Oceanic Flight 815. I wish that she would be in my arms, staring up at the stars. But that was gone, no more. They all probably thought I was dead.

Dead. Like Ryan.

Subconsciously, I reached in my pocket and pulled out my wallet. It was the closest thing I had to home. I had some American dollars and some Australian dollars as well as that credit card and then the pictures. I sighed and pulled out one of Aerin. I missed her so much.

The pictures were the only thing that helped me get through. If it weren't for Sawyer giving them to me, I wouldn't be as 'sane' as I am now. I'd be in even worse shape.

Aerin was on the top of the stack. She was so beautiful and so different from Newport's girls. She had her own personality, not one manufactured by a magazine or clothing company. I really did believe that I truly loved her. Not the childish crush that I had had on Summer. Sure Summer was a great girl, but she was no Aerin.

Back home, I had totally forgotten that I had the pictures in my wallet. There were just there for the sake of being there. Now they were sacred. They were so meaningful.

Once more, I sighed before nearly running into someone. I didn't know who it was, but we just bypassed each other. I stopped and turned around. He did the same. We looked at each other for the longest time. He looked familiar, but I wasn't sure from where.

He walked towards me. I stayed still. He stopped about two feet from me. Out of instinct, I closed the wallet and shoved it back in m pocket. He was a middle aged mad, skinny with stringy hair. Correction, he was extremely skinny. He could have given Marissa a run for her money. I laughed inwardly.

It wasn't quiet for long before he spoke. "Who are you?" Well that was a great way to start a conversation.

"Seth…" I said, a bit apprehensively. There was something about this guy that I didn't like. "Who are you?" It came out more angrily than I wanted it to. But I did not like him. I didn't know why.

"Ethan…" was all he said.

Ethan. The name didn't ring a bell. "What are ya doing?" I asked, trying to get a feel for who he was, as well as get to know more than just Sawyer on the island.

"Gathering firewood…" he said. That was when I figured that he had to be an okay guy if he was helping out by getting firewood. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get away…" I said, talking before I ran it through my mind. Then I realized how stupid I was to just blurt that out. I didn't even know who the guy was, other than his name was Ethan. What shocked me most was the fact that I had only really talked to Sawyer before, and I didn't even do that around him.

He laughed. I was a bit relieved. "That is why I always collect firewood, get away from everybody."

I laughed too. See, it wasn't that hard. I just had to get back into the swing of things.

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Not long later, I was helping Ethan gather firewood. He didn't seem like that bad of a person. He was kinda quiet, let me do a lot of the talking, but that bad feeling I had about him was proved wrong. I never let first impressions get me down anyways.

So now we were heading back to camp with our arms full of firewood, chatting away. Or more like, I was chatting away, and he was listening (or at least I thought I was).

"And then, she unzipped her dress and she was wearing a Wonder Woman costume, looking so freaking amazing…"

I stopped as we reached the camp. I saw a whole bunch of people there. Many of them I didn't even know. I clammed up immediately (and I couldn't understand why). I could have sworn I heard Ethan sigh a sigh of relief, but brushed it off as if it were nothing.

I just followed Ethan's lead and we dropped the firewood down near the fire.

"Thank you," someone said. I looked at an Iraqi man, whose name I didn't know and nodded.

It didn't seem to bug him that he didn't know me, because he just went about his business. Ethan left, leaving me almost all alone. I sat down, facing the beach once more. This reminded me a lot of the way I normally spent my days, but now I had two friends (if you could call them that). Two people that I knew on the island. The best part was, that wasn't it.

Getting bored, I began drumming on my legs and humming the chorus of the music that I had last listened to. That DriveShaft CD from the plane. It wasn't normally what I would listen to, but Aerin had gotten me turned onto them, and they weren't half bad once I listened to them a few times.

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I got bored quite quickly and got up to walk around… somewhere. Those were the two things you could do here while you were waked sit around… or walk around. Neither was very pleasurable anymore.

Deciding to do something worthwhile, I headed towards the caves. Jack had been raving about them so much that I had to check them out for myself. I hummed the words some more, seeing as I couldn't sing to save my life.

Walking more and more I realized how alone I was, so I began actually singing the words.

"_You, all everybody… you, all everybody… I didn't like your stupid people wearing expensive clothes... you, all everybody… you all, everybody…"_

Then I began humming since I couldn't remember the exact words and when I came in on the chorus again, there was someone else singing. I stopped immediately and turned around to see Charlie. That was WEIRD!!!

He stopped too. We both stopped walking. "I wouldn't try doing that for a living…" he said with a small laugh. I didn't laugh. I knew I wasn't a good singer, but…

"But nice to meet a fan," he said. "I'm Charlie…"

Charlie, I knew that, but he obviously didn't know that I knew that. "Okay…" I said, still wondering what he meant by 'nice to meet a fan.' "I'm Seth…"

"I bet you already know who I am…" he said, starting to sound happier and happier with each word.

"Yeah," I said, apprehensively, "I've seen you around the camp and such, before you moved to the caves…"

He looked like someone forced him to swallow a bowl of worms, his expression changed so quickly.

"You were humming a DriveShaft song, right?" he asked.

I nodded. "My girlfriend gave me their CD not too long ago… but she said that they broke up."

"We did." he said. Wait, what did he mean by we? My expression must have asked the question for me. "I was the bassist for DriveShaft."

"Really?" I asked. I wouldn't have recognized him. Well, maybe I would have, I didn't really look at the cover art that much. "You have two albums, right?" He nodded. "Oh…"

I didn't know what else to say. I only had one of them, and I really only listened to "You All Everybody" on repeat, over and over and over again.What was I going to say if he asked me… then he did…

"What's your favorite song?"

Shit. Of all the questions to ask, he had to ask that one. I tried to play it cool and shrugged. "I don't know. I liked "You All Everybody" and a few of the other songs…" I did listen to some of the other songs every now and then, but I didn't know the title.

Luckily, he bought it.

"That's awesome," he said. That pretty much ended the DriveShaft talk. Oh well. We stood in silence for a while before he spoke up. "Where are you heading?"

"The caves," I answered.

"Oh," he said. "Well, I'm heading for the beach."

"Okay," I said. With that he turned and went in the direction I was coming from and I watched as he disappeared into the dense foliage before I continued on my way. I knew I was heading the right way now. I wasn't going and getting more lost.

I continued on.

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Before I realized it, I slowly began to recognize people around. I didn't exactly know them by name, but I knew them.

"Seth," I heard someone say right before I saw him. Jack. He was walking towards me. "So you've finally decided to listen to me and come here?"

I laughed half-heartedly. The truth was I only came to look around, but it already did seem nicer than the beach. Sure you couldn't see the sky as well, but something about it seemed safer, and even though there was no Sawyer, it seemed better already.

"Well?" Jack asked. I shrugged.

"Possibly," I said.

"You should, caves are natural shelters," he added, before going on his way.

I sighed and walked around some more. Everybody seemed to be busy doing something. There seemed to be two alpha males. Here, it was Jack. On the beach, it was Sayid. No wonder they spilt apart, you can't have two leaders, it doesn't work out!

Everything seemed more organized and relaxed here. On the beach everyone was constantly looking for a stupid plane or a stupid boat that was NEVER going to come! Everyone here seemed to have gotten that already in their minds. It had been weeks. If one would have come, it would have come by now.

Yes, that was the wrong way of looking at things, but it was the true one.

Sighing some more I sat down and got myself comfortable. I didn't really have anything with me, except the wallet, and I didn't need anything.

"Hello," the girl named Kate said as she sat down near me. She looked a lot like Summer, but I shook the image of Summer out of my mind and looked at her.

"Hi," I said in response.

"Haven't seen you around, not since, the episode on the beach…" I laughed inwardly once more. So that was what I was known as. The breakdown kid? Well, it was better than queer or those other names that I couldn't remember.

"You doing better Seth?" she asked, sounding genuinely worried. No she was nothing like Summer.

"I guess. I think I just took up permanent residence in these caves."

She looked shocked. "I just heard more words in that statement than I've heard you say this entire time."

I laughed. That was Ryan's thing. Ryan. Dead Ryan. Shit. I tried to get the horrible image out of my head that Kate had so nicely put into it. She noticed.

"You sure Seth?" she asked. Once again I nodded. I was okay, but she refreshed the image, and it wasn't a pleasant one.

"Well in case you need someone to talk to, I'm here," then she got up and left. Yeah right, like I'd talk to her. Last time I spilled my guts out I got Sawyer into trouble; I wouldn't be doing that anytime soon.

My eyes slowly began to close and I fell asleep.

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I woke up the next morning to the sound of shouting. Who was shouting? They were going to attract something that would kill us all. I woke up with a start to see the pregnant girl. Claire. That was her name.

"HELP ME!! HELP! Somebody's trying to hurt me, please! Help me!" She screamed loudly.

Before I knew what happened, Charlie was by her side. It was obvious that he liked her. Wherever she was he was, which was the odd part.

"Someone attacked her…" Charlie said. What the hell was going on? Someone was trying to attack her? What the hell was going on?

"What?!" asked Jack urgently.

Claire was sobbing, "He held me down…"

I got up and headed away. Something was going on. The first night I was here, and some screwed up shit went on. I ran into Ethan.

"Sorry," I said quickly. I got no response as he rushed past me.

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I spent the rest of the day just wandering around; it was something that I enjoyed doing. I couldn't understand why, but… I just did. The jungle was so relaxing for some reason. The wind rustling the leaves and the swishes of my legs brushing past the grass. Then I heard someone else. Other people.

I didn't know where I was, but there was someone else, and they didn't sound quite so happy, so I followed the sound of the voices.

Stopping, I heard the voices clearly as well as seeing them through bushes that I was crouched behind.

"Hello, there," said Ethan. Ethan? That didn't sound like the Ethan that I had talked to the other day.

There was an awkward pause. "Ethan, where's Jack?" asked Charlie.

Before I knew what was happening, Charlie had his arm around Claire and Ethan pulled out one of Locke's knives.

I couldn't stop myself, I was right there next to Charlie and Claire… and Ethan had the knife now pointing at me.

"What the hell are you doing Seth?" he asked.

I could respond as he hit Claire on the head with the handle of the knife. And Charlie went to punch him and I got cut on the arm instead. I was in shock. Suddenly, I felt the coolness of the blade against my neck.

Charlie was Claire were both on the ground. Oh shit.

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**A/n:** MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I am evil! HAHAHA!!!

alexis - haha. That is a diss towards Ali! Haha! Kim writes Lostness… Ali writes OCness..


	8. Hide and Seek

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen, and he runs away (knowing that it worked before), but something happens sending him into a crashing situation. Lost/OC Crossover.

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"**Hide and Seek"**

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We sat there in silence, in shock from Summer. I was worried about her, I was worried about all of us. We had completely fallen apart in a matter of three weeks. A little over three weeks. In twenty three days, I had almost lost everything. Well, that was after I was going to get my son back. Life sucked.

I decided to go talk to Summer, so I left the room and entered the garage without a word. Lindsay and Aerin knew. Damn it, I hate being strong.

I had been to Summer's a few times, to check on her after Ryan and her were in the accident. Her father had been out of two then. I got into the Range Rover and drove out onto the raod. It was the first time I had left the house in three days. The world seemed so different now. I had lost something so dear, and I suppose I was seeing the world in a different light.

Little kids were running around in yards, with the parents barely watching. Didn't they know that their children could be gone the next second? They could just up and leave. Or leave unwillingly. I witnessed both with Seth. Him leaving more than once.

It had actually been his third runaway attempt. When he was twelve, he ran away. It was the first day of school, and he should of been home when I walked into the door. But he wasn't there. I don't know what had happened to make him run. I called Sandy immediately and searched. He was a smart kid, a little too smart at that age. He had called Caleb to send him money and he had bought a train ticket. Back then, I was on good terms with my dad. He had told me about five minutes after getting off the phone with Seth.

Seth didn't talk to us for oh, say, three days. He just walked away when we came into the room. He was grounded for two months, but it didn't make a difference. Seth was home all the time other than school.

I should've seen it back then that he got upset quickly and bolted when life was too rough. If I had, I could've stopped him these last two times. But I never noticed it. In fact, I had forgotten about his first attempt at running away until now.

After ten minutes, I pulled into Summer's driveway. I got out and went to the door, ringing the bell. I stood there, thinking that I had the wrong house, until Mr. Roberts appeared. I only met him a few times, about twice, because he was always away.

"Hi, Mr. Roberts, I'm Kirsten Cohen. Is Summer here?" I asked him, feeling really stupid. Why would I want to talk to Summer? He knew Summer and Ryan were together, right? He had to know

"No, she isn't. She went to see Ryan earlier this morning and I haven't seen or heard from her since. Sorry," Mr. Roberts informed me. Damn. Where could she be?

"It's fine. Thanks anyway. Bye," I walked away from the door feeling partially like an idiot. Now I had to think. Where was Summer? She couldn't be doing well. Hmm.....where would a half heart-broken teen go?

To see her comatose boyfriend.

So I got into my car and drove to the way too familiar hospital. I hadn't see Ryan in three days, so if Summer wasn't even there, I could at least see Ryan. He hadn't woken up. Summer would've told us. So I had no sons. Well, Ryan wasn't dead, and there was a very, very, slim chance Seth wasn't dead, but still. I couldn't have a conversation with either. Sure, I could have a one-way one, but I wanted the other to speak.

I wondered how Sandy was. I should've checked on him. He had always checked on me. Every so often, when I was truly torn apart, I felt like an invalid. Sandy checked up on me about every hour, making sure I was okay. I wasn't used to the other way around. When I got back home, I had to check on Sandy. So he could be the invalid for once.

Why was it that whenever you really need to see someone or something, there is never a single parking spot? Wait, what was I saying? I was thinking such normal thoughts, ones that would come from a person that didn't have two sons gone. Seth was dead, and Ryan was in a coma. What could really be much worse? Don't want to think about that.

I walked up to the hospital, such a normal thing for me nowadays. If only Ryan was the only one hurt. This was becoming too much. My sons were near death. One recovering, one closer, or dead. I wanted to go back in time and change so many things. Stop Seth from running away. Stop Ryan from going out that night. We should've gone after Seth when he ran away? Why the hell hadn't we? If we had, Seth would be here, Ryan would be here, and I would be sitting in the kitchen, being pissed at my dad, the only thing that would be wrong. Not this.

I looked around as I waited for the elevator. What was I looking for? I wish I knew.

I looked around as I waited for the elevator. What was I looking for? I wish I knew. The doors opened and startled me, pulling me out of daze. I entered it and pressed the button for Ryan's floor. The elevator was jammed, more than usual, and I was squeezed into a corner. I stared up at the lights indicating the floors as they got closer to Ryan's. People were leaving, and coming on, as I found my way to the front.

I got off, and went to his room. I didn't go in at first, trying to be as quiet as I could. Good thing too. I could hear Summer taking to Ryan. We could all talk to him, just not say sad things. I really didn't understand why, because if it upset Ryan enough, he would wake up. Which everyone wanted.

"Ryan, you really, really have to wake up. Like, now. Please. Wake up. This is bad. Everyone is, I don't even know how to explain it. But we need you. Because, well, because of Seth. Ryan, he's...." I didn't go in the room. I guess I must be in an eavesdropping mood, because I wanted to know what she would say.

"Ryan, he's gone," Summer had burst into tears. "Ryan, please wake up. Everyone is so screwed up. Cohen is gone, and his girlfriend is at your house, and we can't take it anymore. We need you so bad. Please Ryan, wake up," I felt tears come to my eyes. I shouldn't be letting her say this. Or I could. If Ryan did wake up after this, I would totally thank her.

"You know, Cohen was gonna come back. He was flying home, and..... Ryan, this is really hard. I can't imagine what Sandy and Kirsten are going through. You have to wake up, Seth is dead," Crap. I was breaking down. It was fine to hear that Seth was dead in my head, because I don't have to believe it. But hearing it from summer, it made me sick.

"Seth is dead, and he isn't coming back. But you need to. You have to. Please. This isn't fair. You weren't supposed to get hurt. It's my fault. This is all my fault. I made Cohen leave, and I told you where to go that night, and...." I pierced my lips to stop myself from making too much noise.

"I killed him, and I almost killed you! Not directly, but I was the cause of it. I did this. Ryan, you have to wake up now. Please," I felt more responsible than summer should be. I guess everyone did in their own way, but was it any of our faults? It was just the way the dice were rolled.

I hate dice.

They never work in my favor. Gambling, which I usually don't use, but Sandy and me once went to Las Vegas about 18 years ago, and I lost we'll say, a good amount, and stupid dice always work for Sandy in monopoly. All I can get is Baltic and Mediterranean. He gets free parking every time he rolls, and it's all my money. Good thing I'm not that bad with real money.

Okay, maybe I should stop summer now. It might be a good idea. So I walked in to check on her.

"Summer? Are you alright?" I asked her, knowing she wasn't. I always did that.

"I'm fine. Really," summer could see the disbelief in my eyes. "How much did you hear?"

"All of it," I felt so bad for summer. Well, for everyone. Pity was running amuck in Newport.  
"I shouldn't have told him all of that, shouldn't I?" summer looked away from me and wiped her years away from her face. Mine had stopped, but I didn't wipe them away.

"If it gets us closer to him waking up, then no," I told her. She smiled for a second and I did too, but then everything just turned into silence.

"Do you ever think that it's your fault? Like Seth leaving, and Ryan and me getting in the accident? Because I feel so bad," I walked over to summer, and looked at Ryan, then to her.

"I feel that way all the time."

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I shut the front door. No one was in the room. Good I walked over to my room, hoping to find sandy. No luck. He wasn't there. Now where was he? Why was everyone missing when I went looking for them? Was there some giant game of hide and seek and I was It and totally missed that memo?

I left the room and headed to the kitchen. I found Lindsay sitting at the island, working on homework. She had book upon book piled high. She looked up at me once she heard me.

"I hope you don't mind. My mom's being weird lately and this seems pretty safe area. Even though there's the possibility of finding my dad here...." Lindsay began rambling. She really was a Cohen.

"You won't find our dad here. I haven't spoken to him in quite a long time," I told her.  
"How was Summer?" Lindsay wanted to know. How could I word this? Um.....mentally broken down? That didn't work.

"A little distraught," I answered. It wasn't a lie. It was only partial truth. Okay, like one-fifths the truth.

"Oh. I hope she's okay, but I mean she should be, she wasn't dating Seth," Lindsay commented and I thought back to when Seth had been. Life was okay, correction great. What tore that down? Oh right, the apocalypse. And the Ryan and Theresa thing.

"Right. Um, where's...." I started, not knowing where either Aerin or sandy were. There was a huge disappearing act being played on me.

"Mr. Cohen went surfing. At least that's what he said. And Aerin's upstairs. She's been there pretty much since you left," Lindsay answered as she put numbers into her calculator.

"Oh. I guess I'll go check on her," I figured I had to, this was probably the most difficult for her. Like I said before, strange country, her boyfriend is dead, and you can't really go home. Plus, I needed something to do since I couldn't check on sandy. I was never a good surfer. I was better at watching people surf.

I went to the staircase and climbed each stair slowly, just thinking about how our life was. Messed up. Once I reached the top of the staircase, I walked down the hall, but stopped at the first door on the left.

Seth's door stared back at me, why had I never noticed it before? I suppose I was too preoccupied with everything.

The door hadn't been opened in two months, it was waiting for its' owner to return. But he never would. He was gone.

There was a possibility of us going in there really long ago, at the beginning of Seth's running away, but I don't remember it. I wonder what was in there. Had there been a clue to where he was going? Had there been a way we could stop him?

Eventually, I pulled my eyes away from the sad, white door and forced myself to walk down the rest of the hall to the guest bedroom.

The door was closed, so I knocked and called Aerin's name, and I got no answer. After a minute or so, I opened the door and found Aerin lying on the bed, and she was getting up to greet me.

"Hi," I said to her and she gave me an uneasy smile. Something was up, I could tell. Now, what was it?

"Hi," she sat on the edge of the bed, avoiding contact with me. Oh yes, something was definitely up.

"Everything okay?" I wanted to know what was wrong. I had to know, maybe it would take my mind off of Seth and Ryan, and planes and cars. Damn planes and cars. They almost killed both my sons.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Everything's fine," She attempted to assure me. I didn't quite believe that, but I still began to leave, figuring she wanted some alone time. I had reached the door by the time I heard her again.

"Actually, no," I turned back around to see her walking over to me, playing with her hands. So something was up. I knew it. "Can I talk to you?"

I felt a little bit like a mother again. Aerin felt okay with me enough to talk to me. That was good. I hadn't really gotten a chance to talk to her a lot. You know, one on one.

"Sure," I walked to her and we both sat down on the bed. For a bit, I thought she was going to leave. To go back to Sydney. But maybe not. We'd had that conversation earlier.

"Um, well, I have to tell you something," What did she have to tell me? I was getting uneasy now.

"What is it?" I kept a smile on my face as my worry grew every second. Would she just say it?

"Um....." Okay, so Aerin wasn't a good explainer. I got that. "I shouldn't tell you," She got up and began to pace. This seemed bad. Maybe I didn't want to hear it.

"No, it's okay. You can tell me," What was I saying? No, if she was worried about telling me, maybe she shouldn't. She took a deep breath before telling me.

"I'm pregnant."

Well, that was a good shock. Oh dear God, she was pregnant. Oh no. not good. Perfect timing. Worse so, it had to be Seth's. There was a possibility of it not, I needed to know.

"Is it.......Seth's?" I could barely speak. My mind was blown.

"Yes," Not exactly what I wanted to hear. My son had a pregnant girlfriend. My dead son. Oh God, this wasn't happening. This wasn't right.

"Did he know?" I didn't know how to handle this. When Theresa was pregnant, there was a thought that it wasn't Ryan's. But now, it was Seth's. And he was gone.

"No. I just learned about it yesterday," I looked up at Aerin and I could see she wasn't doing well with this.

"Wow. Um, wow. Do you know if you want to keep it?" I remember talking to Theresa about this. And kinda said something about my past. If I hadn't done it, I would be Kirsten Cooper.

"I want to," Aerin seemed nervous. She was 19, and having a kid.

"Well, I guess, congratulations," I got up and hugged her. "You're having a Cohen," I saw her laugh and smile. I amazingly was dealing with this better than I thought. "It's okay, I had one too. And he turned out okay," I could feel a tear run down my face. She was crying, totally normal.

"Yeah, he did," I felt the uncomfortable silence come and greet us. I didn't know what to say to her. What could I say?

"Would you like to see his room?" The thoughts of before I entered her room came back into my immediate thoughts.

"What?" She didn't get me.

"Do you want to go see Seth's room?" I think I needed to see it too. I missed him too much. More than the time he was gone. At least I knew he was alive. I didn't anymore.

"I suppose," She agreed, still feeling uneasy about telling me that she was pregnant. I just realized: I would be a grandmother. Oh dear God.

"Come on," I led her down the hall to Seth's room and paused at the door. I was afraid to open it. If only he was sitting in there, listening to his iPod, reading comic books. Like he used to before everything. I missed that so much. "Now, I haven't been in here for two months. No one has. So, it'll be a new experience for both of us."

I put my finger on the doorknob and turned it. I wished it had been locked. It hadn't been. Damn it.

I pushed the door open and entered Seth's room. It was like stepping back in time. Everything was as it was two months ago, or when I last went in his room. Nothing had been changed, how would that be even possible? I couldn't believe I was in there, it had been so long.

On the night stand next to Seth's old bed, sat a plastic horse, who had grown some dust since the last occupant was in here.

"Here," I picked up Captain Oats and handed it to Aerin.

"What's this?" She didn't remember her conversation with Summer earlier.

"I believe that is Captain Oats, Seth's old plastic horse. I figured you might want it," I smiled at her.

"Thank you," She took Captain Oats and I waked into the room more. I stared at each poster, taking in every part of it. I didn't think I would be back in this room for a while. It hurt to be in here. I missed Seth so much. Why couldn't he be here? He had destroyed us so badly. I had no sons. Ran was in a coma, the twenty third day soon passing, and Seth was in a plane crash.

A plane crash. Would I ever get used to that? Plane crashes didn't happen on a regular basis. And if there was one, they would find the plane. It was still missing. Where could it be? Was it at the bottom of the ocean? Had it landed on top of Mt. Everest? Wouldn't they be able to find it still?

I looked over to Aerin to find her with tears streaming down her face. Then I noticed I was crying. How could Seth be gone? Honestly, how could he be gone? He was my son, he couldn't be gone. Me and Sandy watched him grow, have problems, everything. And all of a sudden, he was gone. Just gone. He wasn't coming back.

Maybe the people on the plane were playing a big game of hide and seek with us. To see when we would find them. Would we ever? Or would we be playing this game forever? Maybe we were running past them all the time, and we never noticed. Maybe they had found the ultimate hiding place, just waiting to jump out and say, "Boo!" If only.

Our lives had become a big game of hide and seek. When would the game end?

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A/n: On the count of three… awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

paige fan - Haha! Lindsay was the illegitimate love child of Caleb Nichol and Renee Wheeler, so yeah, Lindsay and Kirsten are sisters. And since the last episode, she is going out with Ryan, since it ended with her making out with him, and Sawyer is a character on the television show Lost. And I had their friendship planned from the beginning, for some strange reason. Thanks for reading :D

alexis - I know. I was just messing around with ya! I like um too… HAHA!!

emma - Very nice review! Am I high? Sometimes I question that, and just because you don't like the way that this was written doesn't give you the right to blast it, wait, never mind. But you're review had no constructive criticism what so ever, and didn't even help with the writing of this fic. We can agree to disagree here. I'm a huge Summer/Seth shipper… sometimes, but it wouldn't have worked out here, besides wink I didn't write the Newport parts!

i-love-the-oc-and-smallville - This was originally planned to be a Newportian chapter, because I mean, It would bring the drama level up about two notches! :D

sentinel - Danka! I'd add more detail, but it is mainly from Seth's point of view, and he didn't know what was going on. I'm tempted to go back and add more if time permits!


	9. Reminisence

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen, and he runs away (knowing that it worked before), but something happens sending him into a crashing situation. Lost/OC Crossover. Anything in italics is flashbacks.

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"**Reminiscence"**

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The blade dug deeper into my neck. I could feel the blood pumping through my veins. "Now, you're going to do everything that I say, every little thing, or I will kill them both, and make you suffer the most."

Why had I done that, I could have just ran to Jack or something, get help, but I had to play Mr. Heroic, and look where it got me. I felt the pressure of the knife slowly life away from my neck and a wave of relief washed through me. Until I felt the blood trickling down my skin. A sickly feeling came over me that refused to go away.

Before I could get the sick feeling to pass, Ethan threw something at me. Trying to get over the sick feeling, I liked between him and Charlie & Claire. Both were still lying on the ground. "You get Charlie, I'll take care of Claire," I didn't fully understand what he expected me to do, and the fact that I felt like puking didn't help either. I put my hand up to my neck and I could feel the blood on my fingers. It wasn't life threatening, but it still wasn't the greatest feeling. I looked at the blood on my fingers for the longest time.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Ethan cursed angrily at me, grabbing the ropes from my un-bloody hand. While I had been so focused on looking at my own blood, he had already bound Claire's hands quite tightly behind her back. I never noticed that there was more than one rope in my hand. Charlie slowly began to wake up, and immediately began fighting with Ethan, struggling to keep himself from getting abducted. But he failed. I was so lost, and felt so sick.

I wanted to just run as fast as possible. Run away, it wasn't like I couldn't.

So without thinking of the consequences, I broke out in a dead run. I didn't know anything about where I was or where I was going, but as long as I could find someone that could possibly save Charlie and Claire, I had no reason to stop running. The sick feeling had been replaced. Replaced by fear, not only for me, but for Charlie and Claire… and her baby too. Shit! I had almost forgotten that she was pregnant. That was BAD!

I couldn't stop. I couldn't afford to stop.

But suddenly, I was stopped as shock took over me and before I could react, I was being pulled up into a large net hanging from a tree branch. This certainly put a damper on my plans. I couldn't believe my luck.

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_I didn't know how long I was out there. Just sitting there. I could hear the music from the reception playing softly, but it got blocked out just the same as everything else. Ryan was leaving. The only reason why Newport was bearable anymore was because Ryan came. _

_And now he was leaving, not even giving a shit about me, or anyone else that he was hurting with his leaving. Stupid Theresa. No stupid Oliver. No, let's go a little broader, stupid Marissa. Everything could be traced back to Marissa. If Marissa had never been with Oliver, that wouldn't have made Ryan be with Theresa, and then Theresa wouldn't be pregnant, and therefore RYAN WOULDN'T HAVE TO LEAVE!!!_

_But the past was the past, there was no use trying to change it, no matter how much I wanted to. I just wanted to be left alone. There had to be a way to convince Ryan to stay. There just had to be! _

_Then I heard it. Someone was walking towards me. And when I thought that no one gave a shit that I was no where near the party, or that I was not talking to anyone. I turned to see Summer coming closer and closer. The closer she got, the more I felt like being alone, and I looked away from her. _

_She kneeled down next to me with a simple, "Hey."_

_I don't think she figured it out that I wanted to be left alone. "Hey," I said back. I was surprised that she had even heard it. I still couldn't look at her. _

_She sat down. Nope, definitely did not get the message. "They sent me out to find you," there was a pause. Sure, like anyone cared that much. My grandfather just married Julie Cooper. JULIE COOPER!!! And Ryan was leaving. I really just didn't wanna talk to anyone, ever again._

"_Found you," I brushed it off with a simple "Uh-huh," I still didn't look at here. _

"_I figured you'd be stuffing your pockets with cocktail weenies," she said. I still didn't look at her as a forced smile came to my lips. I looked in the opposite direction. She still didn't get the hint, did she? Ryan was leaving, and would go to hell in one big swoop. Without Ryan I was back to being a nobody, a worthless piece of garbage. _

"_You're still gonna see him, Chino's not that far away." I looked down and suddenly felt the urge to talk. _

"_I just can't believe he's leaving," I said, almost immediately. I looked even more in the opposite direction, not wanting to confront Summer face to face. "He's the first real friend I ever had…" And wasn't that the truth. Unless you counted Captain Oats, there really was no one before Ryan. Then he came and everything changed, for the better._

"_The only real friend I ever had," I said. I knew that would hit a nerve with Summer, but it was the truth. I was nearly on the verge of tears, but forced myself to hold them back. Not in front of Summer. No. _

_There was silence for a bit, it seemed longer than it actually was. "I know…" Summer said. So she was agreeing? She wasn't a real friend. She was just one of those people that I got to know… because of Ryan. "You have me."_

_HA!_

"_Yeah, but that's not the same thing," I said quickly. I looked at her. "You don't get it, before he got here, I was the biggest loser." Now I was talking directly at her. "This place was hell for me, okay?"_

_I was looking her directly in the eye, I knew that she was listening to me; she couldn't escape the Cohen rant now. "And I can't help him and I just, I can't even imagine what it's going to be like here without him." I stopped, I couldn't go on anymore. I had just literally spilled everything out to her. And she probably didn't care. _

_She put her hand on my arm, I was tempted to brush it off, but I just continued staring off into blankness. "We'll make it through it, I promise." I began shaking my head slowly, and looked down at her hand. I didn't feel like doing this any more. She was hurting me, and she didn't even know it._

"_Could you tell them that I'll be back in a few minutes please?" I asked her, my voice sounding so hurt. I looked at her once more. _

"_Sure," she said as she got up and began to walk away. It made me feel like shit. I knew what I had to do, but what would it do to her? I wish there was a way to not do it, but it was the only way. _

_I stopped her by talking. I looked at her retreating back as she stopped and turned to look at me. "And for the record," she stopped completely and looked down at me. "The boat was named after you…"_

_I could see the smile beginning to grow on her face. I looked down and she continued to walk away. And that was it._

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I didn't know how long I was hanging there, how long my feet were off the ground, but it seemed like forever. After about ten minutes, I got tired of trying to find a way down, there was no point. Charlie and Claire were as good as dead, and I was hanging from some stupid tree, where I would probably starve to death.

Like anyone cared.

It was true. There was one person I knew I could trust, and I had pissed him off, the other two people that even remotely knew who the hell I was… well one was kidnapped by the other. Not the greatest thing. That was for sure.

And that is how Seth Cohen died. No I mean really, that was exactly how I was going to die. Not the greatest way to die. It wasn't like a car crash or anything like that. It was starving to death, while hanging from the limbs of a fucking tree. That would be great to tell my grandkids.

Wait. If I would die here, how would I tell my grandkids? How would I ever have grandkids? Never mind.

But before I could comprehend what was going on, I heard someone coming. Without caring who it was I started shouting. "HELP! Someone! I'M STUCK IN A TREE!! CAN SOMEONE GET ME DOWN!?"

I heard laughter. That was never a good sign and then I saw him. Ethan. Of all the people that I could possibly run into, why him? "Look what I caught in my little trap, a little rat…" he said, pushing Claire and Charlie in front of him.

I felt sick again and my hand immediately went up to my neck. The blood had already dried and felt all flaky. I swallowed hard. Ethan might have said something more, but my attention was on Charlie and Claire, while I could barely see their faces, I could tell that the both of them were terrified. They were being led by a crazy man through a jungle blindfolded with their mouths gagged and their hands bound.

Hell, I'd be terrified.

"So, if I cut you down, are you going to run away again?" It took some thought, but I shook my head. There had to be a way to help them. There just had to.

The next thing I knew I was falling to the ground quite quickly. He had cut me down without warning and the ground was hard an unwelcoming. It hurt. I curled up into a ball to try to get the pain to stop, but it didn't work.

"Get up, you stupid piece of garbage," Ethan said angrily, trying to lift me up forcefully off the ground. The idea of him picking anyone up was hysterical, but I couldn't laugh. Slowly, I got to my feet. I could feel the pain growing throughout my whole body, but I didn't scream out, I couldn't.

"You, are going to take care of Charlie," he said to me, letting go of his tight hold on Charlie. "If he gets away it will be your ass, and hers," he said, nodding to Claire. I could see her shake just slightly. This couldn't be good for her. It just couldn't.

"NOW LET'S GO!" he said angrily, pushing Claire ahead of him deeper into the depths of the jungle. I was to afraid not to do what he said.

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_I was there, she was there. She hated me, I still loved her. That was how it was, that was how it always was going to be. 'What do you want from me Cohen?" she asked, looking at me._

"_I just want you," I said truthfully. It was the cold hard truth. I was an idiot for running away like that. It was no wonder she hated me, but I wanted her back so bad. _

"_No… you don't,' she said. What? Of course I did, or I wouldn't have done this. "You had me! You had me at Chrismukkah in a freaking Wonder Woman costume and you chose Anna. You had me three months ago and you left."_

_She had a point. I had done this to myself. _

"_And I wanna make that up to you," I said. I really had screwed up, and wanted Summer back more than anything. More than anything in the world. _

"_It has nothing to do with me. It is about you. And it is always about you. What you need, and what you want, you know, it seems you only want me when you can't have me. You like the chase and that's all. So you know what? You can have it!"_

_That hurt. And I needed it. It was time for a change._

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We walked for such a long time. Nobody spoke. It was that eerie silence when you know that you're doing something you shouldn't be. I shouldn't be doing this. I was probably leading Charlie to his death, and then how long would it be until he killed me?

Me… me… me… Summer was right. I slowly began to pick at Charlie's bonds.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" he asked, his gag somewhat muffling his voice.

"Shhhhh," I whispered urgently in his ear. His hands were beginning to change colors because of the lack of circulation, Ethan must have tied these extremely tight. I wish I could have done something and not just worried about saving my own ass for once.

But it wasn't long before Ethan stopped, and that made me stop too. He raised his hand and then forced Claire to the ground. He motioned for me to do the same, so I said "Sit," and Charlie did. That was easier than forcing him down.

"Watch them," he said, glaring at me. "And if anything happens, I swear you will regret it," he spat before turning and leaving.

Quickly I took the blindfold off of Charlie and un-gagged him. "What the hell is going on Seth?" he asked. I hurried over to Claire…

"I don't know," I answered immediately. "But we have to get the hell out of here before he gets back."

"But you heard him," Charlie said, "You'd regret it… and…"

I silenced him. "Yes, but there is nothing else to do, don't you get it, he's gonna kill us whether we do what he wants or not, so it's now or later… try to escape or wait to die…"

I could see him thinking before nodding. I looked back down at Claire, she was in pretty bad shape. And no wonder the way that Ethan was handling her, like she was nothing. "Claire, Claire, are you all right love?" I heard Charlie ask from behind me. She didn't respond.

He got closer. "Claire, it's Charlie love, are you up to escaping?" I laughed inwardly. If this was at all possible, we could do it, but with the shape that Claire was in, it definitely wasn't.

"Charlie," I said, turning around quickly. "I hear something,"

I couldn't do anything as Ethan came through angrily, cursing under his breath, something about… Jack. I heard him specifically say Jack. Meaning that they knew we were gone, meaning that Jack was coming, meaning that we were gonna be saved!

He looked from me to Charlie. "Seth, what the hell were you trying to do, escape?" he asked with a sarcastic laugh. I didn't say anything as he continued to look between me and Charlie, completely ignoring Claire. "One of you has to do it…" he muttered under his breath, his eyes now focused on me.

"One of you will die…" he said, still muttering as if we weren't standing right there.

I began to get scared. I looked over at Charlie and he looked scared to, glaring at Ethan with great hatred. I would be too, if I could. My eyes went back to Ethan.

"I'll let you two chose, make it snappy," he said with another small laugh.

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_Twelve. Twelve years old, and life was already hell. I didn't matter who my parents were, or anything, I was hated by absolutely everyone. No one wanted to get to know me because water polo people hated me. Because life was more than girls and sports._

_I wiped a few stray tears from my eyes. That was why I had to do this. There was no other choice. Grandpa didn't know what I was doing, but he gave me the money anyways. I was running. There was no other choice. Mom and dad didn't understand, this was something I HAD to do. _

_I couldn't stand Newport, I couldn't stand school. And getting in trouble… it made life nearly unbearable. Nearly. I didn't tell mom or dad, they'd flip. I just had to get away for a bit. Just away from the horribleness of Newport. Who really wanted to live there anyways? It was just a bunch of rich people… being… rich snobs. Who needed them?_

_I sure as hell didn't._

_I looked at the list of trains. I had told grandpa that I was going for a train ride. I wanted to go home. Not Newport home, but home home. The home that we moved from when we moved to Newport. Berkeley. I missed it so much. _

_There was none that went home. So I put my finger on the list. I knew it was childish, but it made things so much simpler. "Eenie, meenie, miney… mo." I didn't know the whole little rinky-dink poem that was spreading around school, just the way it started out. _

_It was how they chose between me and Minkus in gym class, but I think they had it rigged that I would always get picked last, and then they'd fight over who got me. It was really damaging. That was why I had to do this. I had to get away. _

_I looked at where my finger was. Los Angeles. I had been there before. I went to the zoo, and dad kept saying that I was oddly like a monkey. And I almost immediately that his eyebrows would give them a run for their money. He always laughed. _

_I missed those times. Now dad did a lot of surfing. He was always surfing or doing something that had nothing to do with me. I missed my dad. He never seemed to be around anymore. I wondered if they even noticed that I had left. With mom's job, and dad's job… there was never any time for me._

_It sucked._

_Wiping some more tears from my eyes I attempted to compose myself before walking to the ticket counter. A few deep breaths. "I'd like a train ticket to LA," I said, trying to sound older than I actually was. Twelve. Horrible age._

_The man didn't even look at me. "That'll be thirty-two fifty," he said. That was one job I knew I'd never want. Train ticket giver-outer guy. I shoved the fifty dollar bill that grandpa gave me through the little slot and he told me to wait a minute. Patience wasn't my thing and after a few seconds, my foot began to tap impatiently. _

_What seemed like hours later (it was really just a few more seconds) he handed me the change and ticket and mumbled something about gate 13. Thirteen, how long until I was a teenager? Not long enough. I couldn't handle being a teen in Newport. No friends, small family stability. That was why I had to do this._

_I thanked the man and walked away from the line. That was easy enough. I looked around at the signs. I was at gate twelve. This was weird. I was twelve, going to gate thirteen. I don't know why I found that somewhat amusing._

_Slowly, I made my way over to the gate and sat down. People watching. It was fun. I watched as people rushed past me as if I didn't exist. It was nothing different than a normal school day at Harbor Jr. High. _

_Tears came back to my eyes once I realized that once I got on the train there was no turning back. I was beginning to have second thoughts on what I was doing. Running away wasn't about to solve this. I had to have confidence. Something that I was severely lacking. _

_They never stopped. The tears continued falling. I couldn't stop them. Still no one noticed a twelve year old boy sobbing in the train station. They acted as if it was a normal occurrence. Maybe it was, or maybe they just could care less. That was probably it. _

_I sniffled slightly, then I saw her. Summer Roberts. The one thing that made Newport seem okay. Sure she had no clue who I was and probably hated me just because I was Seth Cohen, but that didn't mean I couldn't like her. She was so pretty. _

_She was with her father and they looked like they were in a rush. She stopped and looked at me. I could feel her eyes bearing into me and I just looked at her too. It seemed like I was trapped in eternity, trapped forever in happiness. _

_Slowly I wiped the tears away some more. She began to walk over to me, but her father grabbed her arm and led her away. He said something to her, but I couldn't hear it. It was probably something like, "Seth Cohen is a loser, don't talk to him, don't even look at him…"_

_The thought made me want to run away even more. It wasn't like it was just the kids that hated me; it was the parents did too. Newport in general hated me. That was why I had to do this._

_An announcement over the loudspeaker broke into my thoughts, "Train 349 to LA is boarding at gate thirteen, all riders please board the train now."_

_That was me. I looked at the ticket in my hand. As soon as I got on that train, that would be it, no turning back. _

_I got up and headed over towards the entrance. But I was stopped. I turned around, expecting the worst to see my dad. _

"_Hey kiddo," he said, picking me up. "Where are you going?"_

_I didn't answer him, but I let the ticket fall to the ground. I felt safe. I realized that maybe it wasn't that bad, and if he cared enough to come all the way here, that maybe… no. _

_He set me back down on the ground; I couldn't go back to Newport. I had to prove that I could do something on my own, and I picked the ticket back up and headed to go back on the train, I even handed the conductor my ticket, and dad grabbed me once more._

"_You're not going anywhere Seth…"_

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I couldn't run away forever. It was just a temporary release of pain, and it hasn't lasted forever. Ryan was dead because of it. If I hadn't have run away, then Ryan wouldn't be dead. And I wouldn't be doing this.

Charlie had Claire. He couldn't die. He seemed to have a good life. Me? Ryan was dead. Everyone at home probably thought I was already dead, why not confirm their thoughts. That was why I was doing this.

Without consulting Charlie at all I said, "Me…kill me."

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A/n: I told you that I was an evil bitch!!! And this isn't the best ending I've written. Thanks to my reviewers:

Harper's Pixie - Teehee. My idea. Goat? I don't get it. HAHA! Hota ka!!

alexis - guess what, back to Newport, next chapter.


	10. Of Life and Death

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen, and he runs away (knowing that it worked before), but something happens sending him into a crashing situation. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Okay, I just read "The Stranger" in my English class, so I am going to be using some quotes from it in the upcoming chapters… because I am like in love with the book. I am also in love with flashbacks, so in the upcoming chapters of my part there will be many flashbacks. Remember, _italics_ are flashbacks… or quotes. And maybe I lied. Maybe this one will be on the island too… just for time sake.

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"**Of Life and Death"**

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"_Whether it was now or twenty years from now, I would still be the one dying. Since we're all going to die, it's obvious that when and how don't matter."_

_"The Stranger"_ by Albert Camus

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Without consulting Charlie at all I said, "Me…kill me."

The silence that responded my comment was horrible. It seemed to last forever, making me think again of what the hell I was doing.

"What the bloody hell are you thinking Seth?" Charlie said, glaring at me and moving over to stand in front of me and look at me.

"I know what I'm doing Charlie!" I said somewhat angrily, pushing him out of the way. I didn't want to have the time to have any second thoughts about this.

"No you don't, you're being a bloody idiot! You're what… seventeen… why would you want to cut your life short?"

I could barely make out Ethan chuckling to himself in the background, and Claire sobbing, but all of my attention was focused on Charlie. "You don't get it Charlie, I have NO life! I am NOTHING! My brother is dead, and I am as good as dead to my family now. You have something Charlie. You have Claire, you have a band, you have a life. Don't take this away from me!!!" I said, screaming by the end.

I think I scared Charlie a bit, he seemed quite taken aback. I was breathing so heavily and angrily I barely noticed the tears falling down my face.

"Seth, I can't let you do it…" he said, calmly. A little too calm. "I couldn't have it on me, torturing me all the time."

Losing my temper I pushed Charlie to where he nearly fell to the ground. "DON'T YOU FUCKING GET IT?!" I shouted. "I WANNA DIE SO YOU AND CLAIRE WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE APART, SO I CAN SEE MY FUCKING BROTHER, DON'T YOU GET IT??"

By now Ethan was laughing quite hard.

I pushed Charlie once more so he was lying on the ground. "DON'T YOU TAKE THIS ONE CHANCE AWAY FROM ME!!!"

With that, I walked over to Ethan who was still laughing nearly uncontrollably. "Now are you going to keep laughing, or are you going to kill me…" I said, still blocking the fact that I was literally committing suicide here.

His laughter subsided and he grabbed my arms tightly. "You stupid idiot Cohen," he said. It never occurred to me how he knew my last name, but I let it pass. The thoughts of what I was actually doing finally hit me and I was terrified.

He took the rope from around his shoulders and began wrapping it around my wrists very tightly. I didn't fight, but my entire body was shaking like mad. Why was I doing this? I was going to die. He was going to kill me. I was going to kill me.

"_Whether it was now or twenty years from now, I would still be the one dying. Since we're all going to die, it's obvious that when and how don't matter."_

The quote from the book I had read a long time ago echoed in my mind. I really never liked that book, but that quote for some odd reason hit me. I never forgot it, even now. Now it actually seemed appropriate.

I was just speeding up the process, but it didn't make me any less terrified.

Before I realized what exactly he was doing, I could feel my blood pumping around the bonds. Ethan must have tied them really tight if they were beginning to cut off the circulation already. I could feel them urge to vomit come up my chest.

This was really happening. I didn't want to die. Why did I have to be so stupid and tell him to kill me instead of Charlie? WHY!? I felt the tears begin to come to my eyes.

"You are the biggest freaking moron Cohen," Ethan said, throwing me to the ground. I fell on a rock and I could feel it go into my floating ribs. I shouted in pain.

"Did you really think that I was going to kill you over Charlie? You're ruining the whole plan here man. You were supposed to convince him to have me kill him, and that would get him out of the way. Why must you screw everything up Cohen?"

What was he bitching about? What was he talking about? What plan?

"What plan," I managed to get out. My side still hurt like hell.

"You know what I'm talking about…" he said, re-blindfolding Charlie. So he was really going to kill him instead of me. I felt a wave of relief wash over me when I realized that I wasn't going to be the one to die. As much as I wanted to die, I knew I couldn't.

Slowly, I closed my eyes as if to will the pain away, but it wouldn't stop. It continued to emanate from that one spot. My eyes reopened.

"Don't hurt him…" I managed to seethe out in pain.

Ethan chuckled some more. "Oh, I won't," he said, "Quickly, but not at all comfortably…" He smirked. Even though I was still in pain, I tried to get up. I never realized how difficult it was to stand up when you couldn't use your hands.

I struggled more. Every time I moved it burned, but I had to do something, so I started shouting loudly, hoping that there was someone in the area that would come and help.

"HELP!!!" I shouted over and over and over again. Nothing. "SOMEBODY HELP!!!! ANYBODY!!!"

But I was silenced by Ethan kicking me hard in my left side. Damn it to hell. I hated him. I tried to yell again, but was silenced by another sharp kick as well as something being shoved in my mouth.

Run Charlie. But he didn't. I could see it all, and it was useless for me to do anything. I could barely move. While Ethan didn't look very strong, he must have been. My heart nearly stopped when I finally realized what he was doing to Charlie.

He had found a noose. Or ivy, hanging down from a nearby tree. Quickly, he wrapped it around the struggling Charlie's neck. "STOP!" I tried to get out but it was all muffled. If only I could get whatever the hell was in my mouth out of it.

I felt the vomit trying to come back up. That could have been me. Correction. It should have been me. The guilt was coming back. Charlie had a great life, and now it was cut short. It was all my fault. The guy shouldn't have died. He didn't deserve to die, just because he loved Claire that was a wrong reason.

Tears threatened to pour out of my eyes as I looked away when Ethan loosened the other end of the ivy from the tree and pulled on it before tying it tightly around the tree. I heard Charlie gag. I couldn't stop it. The vomit came, the taste of it was enough to make me want to vomit again, but the facts were that there was something in my mouth not only preventing me from speaking, but from letting the vomit out of my system.

I had to swallow it. Not the greatest experience of my life let me tell you that. Just swallowing it made me want to puke again, but I forced myself not to.

Trying as hard as I could to not look at the now hanging Charlie, I tried to get over to Claire, but I stopped. She was looking right at me with her piercing blue eyes, tears falling down them. It made the tears spill out of mine too.

We both looked over at Charlie, and looked away immediately. I couldn't recall what Ethan was doing exactly, but he wasn't bugging us. I looked back at Claire. She looked at me. She let out a loud cry. I could almost feel her pain, just by looking into her eyes.

She really did love him. And he had died, because of me. I continued looking into her blue eyes. They reminded me a lot of Aerin's. But she wasn't Aerin, she was Claire. Time seemed frozen.

Eye contact. I was staring directly into her eyes and her into mine. Charlie was dead. The count was up to two.

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_Everything was perfect. Or nearly perfect. The sun was shining when the plane landed in Sydney. I was proud of myself that I had accomplished it. I had run away. I was all the way across the Pacific Ocean from Newport and all of the problems it caused me._

_I didn't have to be anyone here. I was Seth Cohen, I didn't have to be what everyone thought I was, because no one new me. It was a new beginning, a fresh start. A new chapter. I wasn't confined to Newport, I had all of Australia. _

_It never hit me that I had no way to pay for any of it, I just wanted to be my own person. The thought hit me that the time I had chosen to run away wasn't the greatest one. Graduation had been less than a week away. All I needed to do was take finals and then graduate, what was I going to do now?_

_I didn't allow the thought to plague my mind for too long because I was being ushered off of the plane. Sydney was amazing. Just the airport was great. It was so less stress free than LAX. I wasn't stressed to rush; I wasn't stressed to do anything. I was free to meander aimlessly around. _

_It was enjoyable._

_Not quite sure of what else to do I went over to the currency exchange place. I pulled the five hundred dollars out of my pocket. American dollars, they wouldn't do me any good here. I knew I was going to need some money to get started, which was why I was glad I got some out of the ATM. _

_Quickly I went to the baggage claim and got my one bag (since I left on such short notice). Looking at the clock, I set my watch so it was at the right time. Then I remembered that I had crossed the IDL… International Date Line, meaning I had to change the date too._

_I did. _

_I hopped on a bus that was going somewhere. I didn't know where I was going. All I knew was that I was in Sydney, and nothing could be perfecter, or so I thought._

_On that bus was a girl. I spotted her nearly immediately. She wasn't like any of the girls back home. She dressed extremely conservatively, but that didn't hide the fact that she was beautiful. The way her wavy blonde hair framed her face and the way that her blue eyes sparkled like jewels._

_And I was beginning to sound like one of those sappy Lifetime movies. Knowing that time wouldn't be frozen forever, I walked further back and stopped next to her. "Mind if I sit?" I asked._

_She said nothing, but shook her head and scooted over, allowing me to sit. She just looked at me. I could feel her eyes burning holes into me. But we sat in silence anyways. Until I broke it, because silence was one thing I simply couldn't stand. _

"_I'm Seth," I said. _

"_Aerin," she replied, "Aerin with an A," she added with a laugh. Her laugh matched her perfectly. I couldn't really explain it, but it just did, and her smile brought her face together._

_Less than an hour in Sydney and I was already convincing myself that I was in love. Ha. That was funny. Love? I didn't think I was capable of that anymore. Not after having my heart torn out and stepped on twice within the span of… an hour. Maybe I needed this._

"_What are you doing in Sydney?" I asked her, trying to make conversation._

_She shrugged. "I live here…"_

"_You live here? That is totally awesome. I mean I'd love to live here, it is so beautiful, serene, carefree. I'm thinking of moving here myself," I said, knowing that I was telling this girl who I knew nothing about that I was thinking about moving to Sydney._

_Aerin giggled. Her hair shook when she laughed. "You must be an American…" she smiled._

_I was a bit confused. "Yeah, why?" _

"_Oh, nothing," she said. The bus pulled to a stop. "Well, this is my stop," she said. I got up. I didn't want her to leave. There was also the fact that I had no idea where I was going. I had never ever even thought of coming to Sydney at all. _

"_I guess I'll see you around then Seth," she smiled, as she made her way down the aisle. _

_Not knowing what else to do, I followed her. And now I'm glad that I had._

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"GET UP!!!" Ethan's shouting and a quick tug on my arm pulled me out of my thoughts and up onto my feet. He did the same thing to Claire. He seemed to be in quite a rush.

"Let's go," he said quickly, pulling a blindfold over the sobbing Claire's eyes. I took one last look at Charlie, as much as I didn't want to before everything became dark as Ethan in turn blindfolded me.

I sure as hell hoped that Charlie hanging there dead wasn't the last thing I would ever see, but the circumstances seemed slim. I wanted to scream even more, but couldn't. I had no choice but to follow Ethan wherever he was leading us.

I was terrified.

Claire let out a loud scream, before everything became silent again except for us walking.

Charlie was dead. It was my fault he was dead. It was my fault Ryan was dead. I had indirectly killed two people. The feeling in my stomach was a horrible one as we continued tromping through the jungle without any clue as to where the hell we were going.

I just hoped that someone would try to look for us.

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A/n: I'm not _that_ evil… I killed Charlie in my other story, do you really think I could kill Seth? Oh and the plot with Charlie basically follows the plot of the show for the end of ATBCHDI…but for those of you who don't watch Lost… Charlie is saved by Jack and Kate, and I may have a little off beat chapter just with Charlie talking about what happened… which will probably not even be a chapter, but a little offset… thanks to the reviewers:

Harper's Pixie - Haha! Goat? Kill Seth? Possibly. Dom played a guy named goat in a movie once. xD.

alexis - sorry. Crazy? Maybe not. I did…

i-luv-the-oc-and-smallville - Ha! Not kill Seth? shakes head


	11. I'm Going to Kill Him : SIDEBAR

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen, and he runs away (knowing that it worked before), but something happens sending him into a crashing situation. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: This is a side-bar on the island. In my side bars, it has really nothing to do with the main character (in the part Seth), but has major influence on the plot. Sidebars will be in third person, but circulating around one character (in this case Charlie). This happens right after he is saved by Jack… I've only watched this scene about... sixty times. I changed it to suit the story though. It is probably going to be short…

And I am posting this now because I have no patience… xD

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"**I'm Going to Kill Him"**

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Jack and Kate pushed their way through the jungle. They had heard a lot of shouting, well at least Jack had. By now, Kate thought that Jack was seriously going crazy. I mean who wouldn't, he thinks he got into a fight with Ethan.

"He said he was going to kill one of them…" Jack muttered under his breath.

"Excuse me…" Kate asked.

"ONE OF THEM IS GOING TO DIE!!" he shouted. Just then, Kate pushed through the bushes and just stopped.

Jack was about to ask her what it was, then he saw it too. Charlie was hanging from a tree with a noose around his neck. He wasn't moving at all. Acting on impulse, Jack ran and grabbed his legs and lifted him up to try and relieve pressure from his neck. Kate didn't move.

"No! You've got to cut him down!" Jack said.

That snapped Kate out of her daze and climbed over to the tree that the vine was attached to.

"Come on, Charlie. Hold on there!" Kate grabbed the knife and tried to hack at the vines.

"I can't reach! Pull him over!" Kate said. Jack moved closer to Kate as best as he could. They had to hurry. Jack knew that every second that Charlie was hanging there, was more of a chance that he would die. They wouldn't let Charlie die. He couldn't.

Once the vine was close enough, Kate cut quickly at the vine and Charlie fell immediately. Jack quickly started to do CPR on Charlie's lifeless body. "He's not breathing. Come on! Breathe, Charlie! Breathe!"

Kate grabbed onto Charlie's hand, trying to keep the tears from coming. There was no way that Charlie could die. Not like this he couldn't. Jack continued to do CPR. He began to pump Charlie's chest. No difference.

"Come on. Come on," he said somewhat quietly, as if attempting to coax Charlie to start breathing again.

"Jack," Kate said, knowing that the inevitable had happened. Charlie wasn't going to wake up. "Jack…"

Jack didn't stop. He began pounding furiously on Charlie's chest. "Come on, Charlie! COME ON!!"

Kate let go of Charlie's hand and turned away. The tears were falling. It was all too much. Charlie was dead. There was nothing they could do anymore.

"Come on Charlie! COME ON!!" Jack was now shouting to try to get him up.

Rushing over, Kate tried to stop Jack. She couldn't stop it. "Jack, Jack! Jack… STOP! He's not coming!" The tears were falling like crazy.

He stopped. "It's okay. It's okay," Kate whispered, looking at Charlie's unmoving body, his closed eyes. They were too late. If only she would have listened to Jack.

Suddenly out of nowhere Jack started pounding on Charlie's chest again. There was no way he was going to let Charlie die.

"No. NO! Come on! COME ON!!" With every word he pounded harder. Kate began crying again, this time even harder. Jack continued to pound harder and harder, then suddenly Charlie's eyes opened and he took a deep gasp of air.

Jack and Kate smiled and laughed. And to think if Jack would have stopped, Charlie would have been dead, and now, he was alive. Jack lifted an awfully confused Charlie into his arms. "Just breathe… breathe deep."

Charlie was alive.

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Back at the caves, Kate wrapped a blanket around Charlie. He was just staring off into space, a blank and dismal look on his face.

"Dad! They brought Charlie back, but he hasn't said anything since he came back," Walt said, running up to his father as he walked into camp and hugging him.

"Any news on Claire?" asked Michael, looking at Charlie.

Hurley shook his head. Michael sighed. This was no good. Poor Charlie.

Meanwhile, Jack sat down next to Charlie and looked at the rope marks around his neck. "Does that hurt? How's your breathing?"

He got what he expected, no response from Charlie.

"Charlie, you've got to talk to me. We're going to go back out and look for Claire the moment the sun comes up, and I could really use your help. Anything that you can tell me about what you remember, where you were going… Did you see or hear-"

He was cut off by Charlie. The truth was, Charlie was trying to recall everything that had happened, but all that he could remember was getting into the fight with Seth and…

"I didn't see anything. Hear anything. I don't remember. Anything…" he paused. Jack went to say something, but Charlie continued. He knew that it was all a lie, but until he pieced everything together, he couldn't say anything that happened.

Suddenly, Sawyer came barreling his way into the cave. "Has anyone seen Cohen?" he asked, quickly, actually sounding worried.

"Cohen!? Who is Cohen?" Jack snapped.

Sawyer was about to answer when Charlie cut him off.

"Seth… he was there. He's with Ethan… he's on Ethan's side."

"What the hell are you talking about; Cohen doesn't talk to anyone, why the hell would he be working for Ethan?" Sawyer snapped.

"Like you really care," Kate said, "You're the one who made him move here anyways."

Jack was the only one who realized that Charlie had said anything. "What do you mean, Charlie? Seth was there?"

"I'm going to kill him…" Charlie then mumbled under his breath.

"What? Who?" Jack asked.

"Seth. I'm going to find him… and kill him."

"Why?" Jack asked.

"Because, he betrayed all of us. He lied to us. It was all an act. Everything… He said so many times how he wanted to die, so why not let him?"

Everyone was taken aback by what Charlie had said. Charlie was never one to really talk that way. Even Sawyer was looking at him oddly. But Charlie didn't notice. Charlie didn't care. His mind was set. He began to stare off into space once again.

"I don't believe him…" Sawyer said.

Jack looked at him. "Charlie's the only one who was there when it happened; I have to go with his word."

Sawyer simply glared at Jack, before flipping him off and turning to storm off, muttering obscenities under his breath.

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A/n: I like Charlie. giggles I'm a Charlie freak, which most of you probably knew. That was shorter than I expected, but hopefully Ali will write soon, and give it to me… because my mind… oops, almost gave it away. Haha. And I can not write in third person to save my life!!! Thanks to the reviewer:

alexis -- Haha! This one wasn't a Newport chapter either. It all has to do with the time issue though… haha.

Harper's Pixie -- Thanks. :D I'm glad that you liked it… it was kinda fun to write too…


	12. He's Really Gone Isn't He?

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Ali, I changed the time span, because… because… CLAIRE!!!

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"**He's Really Gone… Isn't He?"**

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One week. One more week. One more no news filled weeks. Had they found they plane? What was happening? I as getting scared. Nothing was happening. We were stuck in this reality. The reality of losing our sons.

Ryan wasn't waking up. It had been 37 days. More than a month. A month. I was going insane. He had to wake up soon. What else as there to do other than wait?

I walked into the kitchen, where Sandy and Aerin were sitting when I came in. Sandy was okay now, since his own mental breakdown. He says he saw kids surfing and one kinda looked like Seth and he started crying and he wasn't paying attention, so he got taken under. Nothing like a near death experience to make you understand you've got to be strong, that's what he said after that.

"Honey, I was thinking. How about I go to the airport and see what's up with the search. It's been a while since any info," Sandy told me, and I nodded. "You okay?"

"Do you know what day it is?" I asked him, he better know. Or he might not. He did forget our anniversary.

"Yep. I know. He'd be eighteen," Sandy looked away from me. My emotions were gone, I didn't cry as much anymore.

"He could've voted. Smoked if he wanted to. He would be an adult," I was really pessimistic. Aerin left the room. I didn't follow her. I didn't want to.

"What do you want to do today? After I come back from the airport?" Sandy asked me, and I didn't know how to answer. What did I want to do? It was my dead son's birthday. Well, he could be not dead, but four weeks? You couldn't survive for four weeks all alone.

"What I want? Or what I should do?" I asked him. There was too many things I wanted to do, but I couldn't do. I wanted to see Seth, but that was impossible. I wanted to wake Ryan up, but I couldn't. I wanted to go back in time, but that was the most impossible thing possible.

"You're in an especially bad mood today," Sandy commented. Had I been in a bad mood lately? I thought I was pretty bearable. Guess not.

"Sandy, it is Seth's birthday. How am I supposed to be happy?" I snapped at him. He was right. I was in a really bad mood.

"I don't know," Sandy stopped looking at me. Whenever our sons were the topic of discussion, which was almost all the time, we weren't good together.

"Exactly. So, I think I'll go see Ryan, or something. Have fun at the airport," I left the room. I shouldn't have been so mean. Stupid mouth.

I heard Sandy storm out and felt worse. Wonderful. I went back to our room and tried to find something to do.

There was nothing. Like usual. I was going insane. I should go see Ryan. Like I said. I got changed and soon enough, I was heading to the garage. Aerin was still upstairs. I worried about her every so often. I went upstairs to check on her and found her sleeping. Tears went to my eyes, thinking about Seth. She was going to have Seth's child. That was a scary thought. Scary, and sad.

I went to the garage and got in the Range Rover. Sandy had taken the other car. I pulled out and drove to the hospital. In 14 minutes, I would be there. I timed it a while ago. I had been there too many times.

Summer was in Ryan's room, as usual. She wasn't confessing Seth's death or anything, so I found it okay to go in.

"Hi, Mrs. Cohen," I was about to yell that she could call me 'Kirsten' since no one does, but I wasn't in the mood.

"How is he?" I asked, walking over, staring at sleeping Ryan. I had never seen him so peaceful. He was always worried about something, or someone, now it was our turn to worry about him.

"Sleeping. What else?" Summer looked down. She had calmed since learning Seth's fate, and she seemed quieter than usual.

"Should've guessed," I had no clue what else to say. What could I? I was in such a horrible mood. Ryan wasn't waking up, and Seth was dead and it was his birthday.  
This was fucking wonderful.

"Um, I wanted to if I could stop by later. I think I forgot something in Ryan's room," I thought about that for a moment. Summer hadn't been in Ryan's room for a while, and she just realized that she forgot something. There had to be a reason why Summer wanted to come over.

"Sure," I didn't say anything to her though, I didn't want to accuse her of lying. Plus, I was just not in the mood.

"Thanks. Um, is now an okay time? I just wanted to grab it and go," Maybe she wasn't lying. There was a possibility. I mean, if she was, why would there be an urgency?

"Now is fine. I'm just gonna stay here for a bit," I sat down, and saw that Summer hadn't left.

"Yeah, I had my dad drop me off, and he told me he'd leave the car at your house later," So she had been lying. I had a knack for knowing. Sometimes.

"Oh. Well, I can drive you in a bit, I just wanted to sit here with Ryan for a little bit," I stared at him. I was gonna wake him up soon. He had to. I wasn't going through with this pain anymore. It was sickening.

"Sure," Summer sat down next to me, not looking at Ryan. Which was strange. She always looked at Ryan. Crying to him, begging him, her eyes were always glued to him. So why wasn't she looking at him now? Did she know?

Twenty minutes later, we were leaving, and she didn't really say a lot. I didn't want to either. We got in my car, and that was when she looked at her cell phone.

"Oh hey, did you know today is the beginning of autumn? My cell phone gives me reminders of what's happening every day," Summer told me. Of course I knew. She probably had Seth's birthday in it. They had dated, he had to have told her a while ago.

"And, it's...." She stopped. Wow, she had a knack for discovering the worst things by herself. Everything she figured out by herself, everyone just assisted. "Wow, did you know?" She asked me, looking over as I drove.

"Yeah," I didn't look over at her, I was already feeling horrible.

"He never really mentioned it. I mean, I barely ever knew. Of course, we were never dating for either of our birthdays, so we never bought anything for each other. But he always seemed to me like the person who would brag like no tomorrow," Summer tried to make a conversation.

"He used to. To me and Sandy at least. He'd start counting down in June, and would bug us every day. By the time it was his birthday, we just wanted to get it over with. And then, he would start counting down to Chrismukkah," I thought back to when Seth was so little and it was just us three.

"That's so cute. Do you think they'll find the plane by Chrismukkah?" That was so far away. We were giving them three months for them to find my dead son. Maybe he wouldn't be dead.

"I'm hoping so. Two Chrismukkah wishes for me: Ryan to wake up, and Seth to be found. Don't know if either will happen," I continued driving, growing sadder.

"Ryan will wake up. He can't sleep forever," Summer tried to make me feel better.

"He could," Wow, was I in a bad mood.

"Well, they'll find the plane. I mean, it's huge, how hidden could it be?" Summer commented.

"They've been searching for four weeks," I pointed out to her.

"So they're getting close to closing it. They're not gonna stop looking. They're not going to let hundreds of people go missing forever," Summer was so optimistic. She had changed since her 'I killed Seth' confessional to Ryan a week earlier.

"You're right. They're not gonna give up so easily," I pulled into the driveway. Summer and I went into the house, finding Sandy sitting in the kitchen, head in hands, staring at a cup of coffee.

"What happened?" I asked him, feeling a bit better from the talk with Summer.

"It's over," He got up and looked at me. What was over? What was he talking about?

"What's over, Sandy?" I wasn't in the mood for this guessing crap. I mean, just tell me, god damn it.

"The search. It's over. They ended it. They gave up. They're not gonna look for the plane anymore. They say it's a lost cause," I shut my eyes. Every time I felt better, things got worst. The plane was a lost cause. The passengers were a lost cause. Seth was a lost cause.

Seth was as good as dead to everyone.

"You're serious?" I asked, not wanting to believe it. They were not giving up on my son. He was my son. How could they just give up?

"Unfortunately," Sandy walked over to me and put his arms around me. I didn't hug him back, I was in shock. So, I would never see my son again. That was wonderful.

Summer had left the room and I felt the walls around me fall down. Seth was dead. There was no chance of him being found. Since no one was going to look.

"They're having a memorial service. You know, for everyone. They're gonna hold it in two days," How was that going to help? I would have to say goodbye to my son. It was over. He was gone.

"Do we have to go?" I asked him. I didn't want to say goodbye to Seth.

"I think it'd be good. We could call everyone. Your sisters, your dad, your step-mom, my mom..." Sandy began to list off people. Which sister? Lindsay? Hailey? Marissa? Kaitlin?

"Not my dad," I complained, having yet to talk to him for so long.

"You're gonna have to talk to him. Seth was his grandson. Don't deny a final goodbye,"

Sandy shouldn't have said that. I cried again.

"He's really gone, isn't he?" I asked Sandy, not wanting to hear the answer.

"I don't want to believe it..." Sandy started, I knew he had to be having a hard time with this.  
"But we have to?" I finished the sentence for him, wanting to get away. But Sandy held me closer, which I needed.

"We don't have to. I mean, they could be alive. Just because everyone gave up, that doesn't mean we have to," Sandy tried to lift my spirits, which were now permanently down.

"Yeah, but it's been four weeks. How could anyone survive four weeks after a plane crash? It's as if that plane just..... disappeared," That was true. Where the hell could that damn plane be?

Sandy didn't know what to say, I pretty much finished that conversation up. Great for me. Seth was officially gone. How could I believe that?

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I had never seen so many weeping people in one place before. There were pictures of the victims, well over a hundred and fifty. We each had donated two pictures. The local newspaper would run a bio on everyone. And LAX would put all the victims' pictures on a wall for a memorial. Seth was on it.

I hadn't wanted to give a picture to them, because of the fact they were giving up. Suddenly, I had realized that so many other people were affected by this. Every single one of those people on that plane had left loved ones, and they would never know how much they were loved. Children had died, with their parents, sisters and brothers, husbands and wives, sons and daughters. They all were gone.

Sandy and I were in the lead of our little group, followed by Summer, Aerin, Lindsay, Hailey, and Nana Cohen. My father didn't even come. Sandy had called, as I had refused, and he said they were. But I doubted it.

"Kiki," I heard my father. Turning around, I saw him, Julie, Marissa, along with Alex. They had come after all. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Sorry," I said to my father, not meaning it. Almost every one in this huge place was dressed in black, it was just a giant funeral.

"How are you holding up?" My father asked me. I looked at him, and saw a true sadness in his eyes. I hadn't seen such sadness since my mother had died. He had been heartbroken, everyone was.

"I'm okay," I lied to him, I wasn't ready to shed a tear yet. Sandy put his arm around me.

"I wish you would've told me sooner," He commented, and for once, I believed him. Seth and my father were close, both sharing the love of sailing. My dad had been good to Seth, sometimes being harsh, but in the end, he adored his only grandson.

"Everything was just, um.... hectic," No one else said a word as I finally talked to my father in well over two and a half months. I avoided him at all costs, and whenever I needed to tell him something, I told Julie. She had been a good messenger.

"I know," He didn't say more, and I was relieved. This was just too hard.

Eventually, we had been all directed to where Seth's pictures was hung. The pictures were done by seating, and Seth was next to a blonde girl and her step-brother. That girl must've been the absolute last person to see Seth alive. She had to have looked over. Maybe they had talked, maybe they had something in common. Her name was Shannon.

I placed some flowers under Seth's pictures, and I fell into uncontrollable sobs. I didn't want to say goodbye, this was too soon. Seth had only been seventeen when he died, and that wasn't fair. He was too young to go. Parents aren't supposed to outlive the children.

I had begun to hear talk of a funeral, and that was where I ran. Julie had been mentioning it, thinking it would be good. To have closure. I didn't want closure.

No one ran after me for a bit, and I ran outside, where the air was warm. I found a bench, and saw a few other people breaking down as well. I wasn't the only unstable person here.

About ten minutes later, I felt someone sit next to me. Nana Cohen. We had never been close, she practically hated me. Sandy called her and she rushed to California, one of her most hated places.

"How are you doing?" She asked me, and I hadn't expected her to come after. She was the person I least expected.

"Not well," I answered her, trying to stop crying, but that really wasn't working.

"I saw. I know you miss him a lot," The Nana was being nice to me. That was a definite change. She had only been nice to me really twice. The last time she visited, and when I first met her.

"Yeah, I do," I agreed.

"You know, you're gonna have to let go sometime," The Nana was trying to be really nice to me. Which had to be difficult.

"I don't wanna. I refuse to let go," I couldn't let go. What would I have left once I did? Nothing. He would be gone forever, and never come back. I had to believe he was alive, out there somewhere.

"Okay," The Nana leaned back on the bench next to me, and I was stunned. She didn't try to persuade me, like everyone else was. She was just going to sit there with me. Everyone had been trying to console me, make me happy, but no one understood. All I really wanted was just to have someone listen, and not persuade, or argue, just sit and listen. The Nana was doing that.

"Sometimes, I just feel like I'm the reason he's gone. Because I called him, and told him about Ryan, and he boarded that plane....because of me. Because I scared, and made him worry. Maybe I should've just stopped calling after a while. You know, let him be. Though he never answered, he listened to them, and we made him feel horrible. I should've followed him. I should've told him to come back. I shouldn't let him stay there," I had finally felt the urge to talk.

"So you regret some things. That's okay, but don't beat yourself up because of it. Everything happens for a reason," Was everything for a reason? I mean, did Seth have to die now? What would happen in the future because of it? Everyone would be miserable, that's what.

"So I shouldn't have stopped him?" I asked the Nana, wanting an answer. I wanted to know why I didn't. I wanted to know why the hell I did not stop him from leaving. Or why I didn't go after him. I wanted to know why this happened.

"I suppose so. Something good will come out of this," The Nana was so calm. I was in awe of this woman. She was amazing.

"I hope so. I really, really, hope so," My tears had slowed down, but they still fell from my face.

We sat there in silence for a few more minutes, just thinking. Seth was gone, yet not fully. I didn't believe he was gone. Everyone else might, but I still had a tiny flicker of hope.

"Maybe we should go in," The Nana said to me, and I nodded my head. We got up and walked back into the enormous room, where she led me back to my family. They all were still looking at Seth, who was smiling, and happy.

We didn't leave until it was late, we had begun telling stories about Seth. I smiled thinking about those good times, those funny times. It was nice thinking of the good times with him. We didn't dwell on the problems that we had had, we just thought about the fun times. The times I missed much.

The only person I wished had been there was Ryan.

We began to leave, a lot of us began to say goodbye to Seth. Marissa had begun crying, as did everyone. Julie said goodbye first, and quickly left to go to the car. Alex was next, who looked uncomfortable as she said goodbye.

Lindsay was after Alex, and she tried to say something, but she was laughing through tears.

"I can't believe you're gone," She said, and left quickly. Marissa stepped up, and said 'sorry' about a million times. My father went next, and he said he missed the times they had sailed, but mostly, just Seth.

Hailey went up and talked to him as though he was going to college, which made me feel better. She sort of believed he was still alive.

I knew my turn would come soon.

The Nana went next, talking about only things they knew about. Summer followed suit as she looked up at Seth.

"I'll miss you Cohen. You were really great. I'm sorry for everything that happened, and all the mistakes we made, but being with you was really great. I'll never forget you Cohen."  
Soon enough, it was just me, Sandy, and Aerin. Aerin walked up to the picture.

"I miss you Seth. I wish I had been the one on that plane. It's really hard without you, but I hope you're happy where you are now. I love you," Aerin walked away, and I watched her go.

Sandy walked up next, and said goodbye.

"I'm gonna miss you, kid. You were one hell of a son, more than anything we could've wanted. I wish we had had more time with you. But we made the most of the time, and I'll miss you. Love ya, Seth," He began to walk away, leaving me all alone with the last goodbye.

But I didn't say goodbye, because I didn't believe this was goodbye. I just told Seth the same thing I kept telling him on those messages.

"Come home soon, Seth."

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A/n: Awwwww to the freaking extreme Ali! Haha!! The sad thing is, I already have the next chapter written.

i-luv-the-oc-and-smallville -- who knows… evil glint in eye

alexis -- xD… if Ali ever writes one… oh, she did… haha! Kill Seth? Where did those words come from!?

Keks - Exactly poor Seth, but right now, I'm more like… poor Kiki!!

GOAT!!


	13. The Greatest Birthday Gift

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: I don't know how long this chapter will be, but it will have a tribute to my Spanish class in it.

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"**The Greatest Birthday Gift"**

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"_Every stone here sweats with suffering, I know that. I have never looked at them without a feeling of anguish."_

_"The Stranger"_ by Albert Camus

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One week. Give or take a few hours. It had been a week since the abduction. One week since I had seen or heard from anyone, or anything. One week since Charlie died. One week since I had last seen Claire.

One week since Seth Cohen pretty much disappeared off of the face of the earth.

I sighed. They had pretty much forgotten that I existed. I had no clue where I was, but wherever I was, it was old. I had a little bit of guava everyday at around four and that was it. That was all that they acknowledged my existence.

But I figured out their game. They wanted me to go insane. Small room, all alone, one week, anyone was bound to go insane, but I hadn't. And the random information that I learned in tenth grade Spanish class that I never thought would ever be useful, was.

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"_Raúl, pay attention," Sra. Jacobs snapped at me. I always daydreamed in Spanish class, since I knew I was never going to use it. I just took it because I had to. Paco, I hated that name, but I was cursed with it, it was the Spanish name that I picked my freshman year. _

_I sat up slightly, and pretended to pay attention to something about conjugating the subjunctive form… or something like that. Once again, if you could get the basic gist of what you needed to say across, you'd be fine. _

_But as always, I began to zone out, and the next thing I remembered was her going over how to say, "to be bored" in Spanish. Aburrirse. Like I'd ever need to know that!_

_Then she moved on to explain that in the true translation, it means "to bore one's self, because it was a reflexive noun. What happened next happened in every Spanish class. _

"_So," she stated, "It is impossible to use that and actually mean what you think you're saying, or your brain wouldn't be working, because as long as you're thinking, you won't be bored, it is as simple as that."_

_Now I began to pay attention, the little off task things that she talked about were always interesting, and the one reason that I didn't drop out of the class._

"_Now they did these tests on these people that were prisoners of war. They locked them in a room… six by six that is nothing but white walls, and left them there for a few hours. The ones that fared the best were the ones who kept their minds active."_

_And when would I ever use that? I began doodling on the piece of paper. "So what are some ways that you think the people did to keep themselves from going insane?" _

_There was a bit of a silence, I looked around, people looked happy that they were getting out of actually doing Spanish. _

_Then Luke raised his hand. Oh this should be great. Let's get the water polo players opinion on everything… _

"_Pepé?" she asked._

"_Play a game in your head, like baseball,"_

_Sra. Jacobs laughed. "That is to keep yourself from being brainwashed Pepé, but that would probably work." I laughed inwardly. I swear, was that all the guy thought about, chicks and sports. "Anyone else?"_

_Marissa raised her hand. "Carmen?"_

"_Write a story in their mind, like come up with everything and just think it up, like watching a movie," she said, although not sounding so sure that she had the correct answer._

"_Good," Sra. Jacobs smiled. "Anyone else?" No one else had their hand raised. "Oh come on guys…" Still nothing. I watched her as her eyes scanned the classroom, and then landed on me. "Raúl?" she asked, "Do you have any ideas?"_

_I remained silent for a bit, thinking of what I could say. I could hear Luke whisper something to one of his buddies, but I tried to ignore it. "Pretend that they're somewhere else, that they're not trapped somewhere that they couldn't get out of. Someplace where they're happy and safe?" I said, ending it sounding like a question._

_The room was silent for a bit, just looking at me. They were as shocked as I was when it came out of my mouth. "Good Mr. Cohen," she said, before proceeding on. Everyone just continued to stare at me. It kinda displayed what life was like for me in Newport, and the more I thought about it, the more I agreed with the thought._

_Pretend that I'm somewhere else, not trapped in a world I couldn't get out of. Someplace where I felt happy and safe._

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The memory stuck with me, and that was how I remained sane.

It was dark, and cold. I didn't know where I was, but it was old, and underground. I could feel that we were underground, well I was underground. I didn't know if Claire was here or not.

My eyes, by now were adjusted to the darkness, and I could see faint outlines. I had gotten myself situated in a corner, far away from the door (at least I thought it was a door) of where I was. I could no longer feel my hands; I had loosened the ropes that had my hands bound tightly in front of me, but not enough. It wasn't like there was any way I could escape.

Once we had arrived at wherever here was I could feel myself being turned so many directions, I remembered them.

Left twelve steps, right thirty steps, right nineteen, left three, then we turned completely around and went straight three, right nine, left thirty-two. Then they stopped and I heard talking that I couldn't understand, before I blacked out.

When I woke up was when I found that I was somewhere. Obviously they didn't want me figuring out how to get out of wherever I was. And as if tying my hands together wasn't enough, they had tied my legs together at the ankles. I easily got the blindfold off, but the knots around my ankles were too complicated.

So there I sat, in my corner, unmoving, and staring at the rocks near me. I kept thinking about that Spanish class, and how it was going to save my life. I trapped myself in memories, letting them play in my head over and over again. That was what I had done staring at the rocks, all day, and all night.

The only way I knew what time it was was by illuminating the watch on my wrist, if it was still even working properly. Who knew what the island could have done to it? But it kept me hoping for something, if anything. But when my thoughts weren't focused on memories, or the time, they were anything but happy.

I kept seeing the mental image of Ryan dead and my mother crying all the time. And if not that, then Charlie hanging dead from the tree. The last one was the most disturbing, because it should have been me. If I could have convinced Charlie to run, he wouldn't have been dead.

Dead. Death. Die.

Three words that kept reoccurring in my mind. Ryan was dead. I saw Charlie die. Death was surrounding me. I could feel its presence making me feel guilty. I had caused two deaths, neither of which deserved to die.

I could feel the tears in my eyes once more. I didn't want to think about it, but every time I did, it made me want to break down, and cry. Two innocent lives and I was still alive.

I lifted both of my hands up and felt the place on my neck where Ethan had put the knife against me. It was little more than a scar now, but I knew it was there, even though I couldn't see it. My eyes wandered around until it stopped at the small bit of light coming in the room from the ceiling. That was where the door was, so it would have been even harder for me to get out.

Maybe it was a sign. Maybe that was the only way I would make it out of here, was if I died. The thought constantly ran through my mind. What if it would have been me instead of Charlie? What if I would have just listened to the rational part of me and stayed in Newport for a few days more? All the 'what ifs.' I knew none of them mattered, but that didn't make them plague me any less.

Suddenly, the light from above increased as the door opened. Normally this was just some water or guava, but it wasn't that. It was someone.

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_I followed Aerin through the crowded Sydney streets. She never realized that I was following her until she turned around and saw me. "Are you stalking me?" she asked defensively._

_Laughing slightly I shook my head. "I have no clue where I am or what I'm doing, and am in serious need of some help," I said, knowing that I was going out on a limb here._

_I could feel her eyes piercing into me. She was studying me, just looking straight at me, before she walked closer to me. "You seem like a good person, a good kid," she said that last part with a smile. "But is it all an act, or are you truly that desperate for my help?"_

_Trying my hardest, I gave her the puppy dog eyes and she giggled. "You are pathetic Seth, you know that?" she said laughing, before grabbing onto my arm. _

_I didn't know how to react to that, as she began pulling me through Sydney. "Hi, I'm Aerin," she said, a tone of joking in her voice. "And I am going to be your tour guide of Sydney for the next…" She stopped and turned around to look at me. "How long are you going to be here?" she asked. _

_Shrugging I said, "I have no clue. I'm here for… however long I want to be here."_

_She went back to the joking voice. "Well, I'll be your tour guide of Sydney until you decided to leave… unless I get pissed off at you, then I will forget that you even existed, got it, good?" She laughed, pulling me along. "First things first, where are you staying?" she asked me._

_Maybe this was a bad idea. "I don't know…" I said. Once more she stopped. _

"_So you came to Sydney, with no plans at all, just to come?" she asked, looking at me._

_I nodded. "Damn Seth, you got balls," she laughed. "So you have no idea where you're staying, do you have any money on you?" _

"_Five hundred US Dollars," I answered, only causing her to laugh some more._

"_And I thought you were going to say you didn't have any money either," she said, a trace bit of sarcasm present in her voice. She began pulling me again. The more she pulled me, the more I noticed that she was magnificent. The way the sun refracted off of her hair, her Australian accent, everything._

_I shook my head to snap myself out of it. _

_Aerin was talking again. "Well, since you have nothing as of right now, except for five hundred USD, which will do you no good here until you get it exchanged… you can stay in my apartment…"_

_I was shocked. I just met the girl and she was inviting me to stay at her apartment. It was a bit hard to believe. Maybe she was a prostitute. Did they have prostitutes in Australia? Why else would she be so willing to invite me so willingly into her apartment._

"_All it will cost ya is hmmm… a hundred dollars?" Oh, now she was charging me, she had to be. But she was too pretty to be a prostitute, not that I knew that any were pretty or not since I had never come in contact with one. Except Holly, but she was more of a slut than a prostitute. _

_When I thought about Holly, my thoughts immediately went to Summer. How could I have ever liked her? And Ryan, god, talk about… betrayal. I was glad that Aerin didn't notice the anger that quickly flashed across my face. _

"_Aren't you afraid that I'm really some psycho murderer that will kill you in your sleep?" I asked._

_That made her laugh even harder. "Seth, I am a third degree black belt, and a light sleeper on top of that, besides… who could someone as cute as you be a psycho murderer?" She giggled and began to pull me along. I blushed slightly, or I think I did. _

"_We're not to far away. I'm Aerin Jenkins," she added. So she did have a last name. Prostitutes didn't have last names. _

"_Seth Cohen." _

"_Cute," she laughed, pulling me into a building and up some steps. All the way to the top. _

"_Home sweet home," she sighed, putting the key in the door, and opening it up._

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My attention was drawn back to the commotion by the latch. Someone had been pushed down and now was lying in a crumpled ball under the hatch. I would have moved it I couldn't, but I couldn't. My muscles were stiff, and with my ankles bound, any movement could cause tripping, not to mention to unnaturally low ceiling.

As quickly as the figure had crumpled up, it uncrumpled and tried to stand up just as I heard the latch close and lock. How many times had I heard that sound? It was just one of the sounds that I had become so accustomed to. The figure began banging on the door quite loudly while sobbing.

"You can't do this to me!" She shouted through the sobs. It was definitely a girl. She was pounding on the hatch with obviously bound hands. I could see blonde hair, and a slim figure. My first thought was Aerin, before I realized that that Aerin wasn't there.

Then again, it could have been the solitude finally getting to me.

She continued banging on the hatch. "I WAN'T MY BABY ETHAN!! GIVE ME MY BABY!!!"

Once she stopped crying, I realized who it was. Claire. Claire was alive. I felt relieved not only that she was unharmed, but that there was someone else here that wasn't just me.

"It won't work," I said, my voice cracking. I hadn't spoken in a whole week, unless I spoke in my sleep, which was highly unlikely.

Claire was startled and turned around quickly. The first thing I noticed was that she was no longer pregnant. She looked right through me.

"Who's there?" she asked, sounding quite scared.

"Who do you think it is?" I said, my sarcasm coming through.

She walked over to me. Claire must not have been bound at the ankles, because she walked pretty gracefully.

"Seth?" she asked.

I laughed. "The one and only." My comic relief was slowly coming back when I wasn't surrounded by so many people. Normally it was the opposite, but it was comfort not only to me, but obviously to Claire as well.

She came over and sat next to me and began sobbing. "Seth… Seth…" she cried. I could feel her body leaning on me, as if I was her only form of support. I would have put an arm around her if I could. I knew that she loved Charlie, but she needed someone. I couldn't just let her cry.

"They took James, and killed Charlie, and they killed you too…" she sobbed.

The poor girl was making no sense. James must have been her baby, and Charlie, the thought made me want to puke again, and me? "Claire, I'm not dead. I'm right here."

"I know," she said, still crying. It was only then that I realized that she had probably been alone too. Or worse, with Ethan. I felt so greedy, so self centered, like a piece of shit. Claire had gone through something worse than me, and all I could think about was myself.

I decided to try to take her mind of something. "Claire, can you feel your fingers?" I asked her.

"Uh-huh," I heard her mumble through the sniffles.

"Could you possibly untie at least my hands, and I'll untie you…" I could see her nod slightly. I felt her body leave as someone began to fumble at the knots around my wrist. After a few minutes of Claire grunting and still sobbing, I felt the familiar feeling of the ropes around my wrist leave. "Thank you," I said quietly.

I moved my fingers around to try to get feeling back in them, and flinched with pain with each small movement. She tapped me on the shoulder. "Could you… could you untie me too please," she said, still sounding distressed, but no longer sobbing openly.

"Sure," I said, flinching each time, but her knots were easy. I didn't tell her about my legs, but she had already situated herself right next to me, her head on my shoulder. She began crying.

"Is he really gone?" she asked me. I knew almost immediately who she was talking about. I didn't know how to respond. Oh yeah, the guy that you obviously love was hung from a tree by the same guy that took your baby from you. That would just be a wonderful thing to say.

Out of instinct, I put my arm around her, and she leaned into me even more. "I don't know…" I answered, knowing it was a lie. There was no way that Charlie could have survived that. There was no way. The though itself was beginning to bring tears to my eyes, but I didn't allow them to fall.

"How can you say that?" she snapped. "You saw him Seth; he was hanging from a tree. You heard him gag, you heard Ethan laugh. He's gone Seth." She began sobbing again. The tears fell now. She had refreshed it all in my head. Charlie was dead.

"I'm sorry," I mused to myself, hoping that she hadn't heard it.

"For what?" she asked quietly.

"Killing Charlie…" I said, almost as quietly.

"You didn't--" but she was cut off by the hatch opening up again. Someone jumped down into the little pit type thing we were being held in.

I could see his face illuminated perfectly. It was Ethan. I never wanted to see his face again. Ever.

He grin was full of malice as he walked over towards us. He looked at me. "Awwww, aren't they so cute?" he said, before grabbing my arm and pulling me up onto my feet.

"What are you doing?" Claire asked, her Australian accent really coming out now.

Ethan ignored her and pulled me over. I fell immediately since I couldn't use my feet too well. He laughed. "Thought I forgot about you, didn't you Cohen?" he asked, dragging me over and standing me up. For such a skinny man, he was abnormally strong.

Claire shouted some obscenity that I heard before I was pulled out of the hatch by two pairs of strong hands. "I'll be back Claire," I said, before I saw one of them take a knife out. My heart skipped a beat, but he kneeled down and cut the ropes between my feet. I felt relieved that they weren't going to kill me.

Ethan pulled himself up out of the hole and looked at me, before I felt the blindfold being slipped over my eyes.

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They led me through the corridors, but only this time, I didn't black out. My mind was racing so much that I barely had time to think about where they were leading me or counting the steps or anything.

Then we stopped. I felt myself being sat down onto something cold and hard. Every muscle in my body tensed up. The blindfold came off and I looked around. But I was blinded by a bright light. I moved my right hand up to my eyes to block the light, only for it to be forced back down.

I felt it being strapped to whatever it was, the same of my left hand. I began moving, trying to get out of whatever contraption it was that I was in, but it didn't working. Still, I didn't stop fighting until Ethan or someone hit me hard across the face. I my head moved to absorb the force of the blow, but it still stung.

Immediately out of instinct, I moved my hand up to comfort I, but I couldn't. Shit.

"Did that hurt Seth?" he asked mockingly. "It's only the beginning. You think you can meddle with my plans and not get in trouble for it?"

Suddenly out of nowhere, a punch aimed at my stomach hit it. It felt like someone… well punched me in the stomach. I shouted in pain. The pain stayed and spread, never fading. If possibly getting more intense. I tried to wriggle free some more, but it only caused more pain and laughter (from Ethan and his goons). "Have you had enough?" Ethan said, his voice full of malice.

I didn't answer. Any answer I would have given would have been the wrong one. I was a bit relieved that they couldn't hurt me too much sitting down, then again, they could hurt my head, or break a few ribs, permanently damage my stomach, kidneys, liver…

Once again I was stopped by another biting pain from my shoulder. It was never going to stop, was it?

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Time moved by slowly, every bone in my body ached. I could barely walk as they drug me back to the pit-type thing. They were literally dragging me. They had beaten the shit out of me, and saying that, was jut an understatement.

I could feel blood seeping from my lip, but that was it. Everything else was a dull pain or just numbness. They pulled the blindfold off of me and I found myself free falling down the short fall and landing hard. I groaned in pain. The door closed and I closed my eyes.

I could hear Claire coming over to me. "Seth?" she asked me.

I didn't respond. I couldn't respond. It hurt too much. "Seth, are you okay?" she asked, touching my shoulder, but not shaking me. I groaned slightly, just to let her know I was okay. I could hear her breathe a sigh of relief.

We sat in silence for some time, and I could feel the consciousness leaving me. I broke the silence.

"What… what time is it?" I asked her, trying to get some sort of communication or I would black out. I opened my eyes to look at her worried face. Whether it was the fact that I was so out of it, or that she really did, she looked a LOT like Aerin.

Her grip on my arm change as she looked at my watch. "Four thirty…"

"What day, Aerin?" I asked. I didn't see the look of shock on her face from when I called her Aerin, but she answered anyways.

"September 22nd," she said.

I laughed, even though it hurt every time I laughed, but the irony in the situation was just so funny.

"What?" asked Claire.

"It's my birthday… my eighteenth birthday…" I said, my voice scratchy. My eyes were getting heavier and heavier and I could hear Claire saying something in the background, but it sounded miles away as my eyes closed.

"Seth… Seth… don't die Seth…" was the last thing I heard before the world became silent. Silent and dark.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

A/n: I just noticed before I posted this that we had exactly 35,000 words, and that was kinda cool!

alexis -- eyeroll Pish. Wait, did I just pish? GAH!

Keks -- I'm in a pishing mood so… PISH! Never say the "R-word" because the R-word means rescue… AHHH I TYPED THE FORBIDDEN WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pumpkin Muffin -- Haha. It'll be a while until it ends. And you're crying. Awwwness. I've been saying awww a lot. Pish.

GOAT!!!


	14. Living on a Fool's Hope

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n:

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"**Living on a Fool's Hope"**

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Our house was crowded again. It was like Chrismukkah, or Thanksgiving. Except everyone was unhappy. Sandy had invited everyone over after the memorial service, and I was going to call a massive amount of take-out when Nana Cohen decided she would cook. I was left to sit around and talk to family who I really didn't feel like. You could smell the tension everywhere. Summer was avoiding Aerin, I was avoiding my dad, as was Lindsay, Alex was avoiding me, Marissa was avoiding her mother, we were all such a joyous bunch. I finally saw Summer walk over to Aerin, who wasn't that far away from me. With what Lindsay had taught me, I was going to eavesdrop.

"I wanted to talk to you," Summer was telling Aerin. Even though I knew I shouldn't be eavesdropping, I had to. It took my mind off the depressing crap.

"Sure, what is it?" Aerin asked politely in her thick Australian accent.

"I don't mean to be mean, I but wanted to inform you that I think you might be gaining some weight. I know it's hard without Seth, I dealt with it, not really, but anyways, don't eat your pain away. You could talk to me," I always thought Summer was a nice person, and she was, but I could obviously tell she was a little jealous. But she had Ryan, or at least used to. He wasn't a very good boyfriend asleep.

"I know I'm gaining weight," Aerin was being nice to Summer, which was good, just Summer was wasn't being very nice.

"Oh, you do? Then, we should talk," Summer looked seriously at Aerin.

"Summer, I'm pregnant," Aerin had told me, and I told Sandy and last week we had decided she would stay for a while here.

"You are? Wow. With Cohen's kid? Congratulations. Excuse me," Summer turned away from Aerin. "Coop? Can I have a sip of your drink?" And Summer went and followed Marissa and Alex.

I smiled at what had happened, even though I shouldn't have. I saw my father coming and I headed to the kitchen. Even though he had seemed upset, he would bring up everything, and I didn't want to. Not yet.

Sandy and my mother-in-law had the kitchen in full swing. They both were hard at work, and I remembered when I used to come home every so often, and found all three of my boys working diligently at dinner. They were a lot better than me at cooking.

I missed those times.

"How's everything going in here?" I asked them, glad to get away form avoidance center.

"We're just about done," Sandy answered.

"I can go set the table," I went to the cabinet, luckily out of the way of Nana Cohen and Sandy and got plates down. Now, how many were there? Ten? I think that was right. No, twelve. Hailey was here, somewhere. As was Lindsay. I began placing the plates when I saw Marissa come in, with Summer and Alex. Summer had taken over Marissa's drink, and they were smiling, even though everything was so bad.

"Can we help?" Marissa asked, I noticed that I hadn't talked to her for long. She avoided our house mostly. For a while, she came over, and hung out, but soon enough, I never saw her.

"Sure, you can help set the table. Forks, knives, spoons, napkins, that sort of stuff," I told Marissa and Alex.

"I'll get the forks and knives and spoons. I remember where they are," I didn't quite fully know the fallout with Marissa and Ryan. I believe it was Oliver. And Theresa. Those two definitely shook things up.

Summer looked preoccupied, almost finishing Marissa's drink. She didn't look happy at all.  
"You okay, Summer?" I asked her, making sure everyone was happy to the best extent I could get them to.

"Did you know about Aerin and....?" Summer asked me. So that was the problem. She was jealous, more than I thought.

"Yeah," I answered, and was given some knives from Marissa. I began placing them neatly down on the table, so they were straight and perfect. I was becoming too meticulous.

About fifteen minutes later, we had been seated and I looked around. Everyone was here. Except for my sons. They were so important, and they were missing.

My thoughts went to the hospital where Ryan was lying lifeless on that bed, not knowing any of this was happening. Could he really hear the things that we said? Or was it just a fool's hope? I had a lot of fool's hope these days. Maybe I should just let go and understand that Seth is gone forever.

I couldn't do it. Even if I tried, I couldn't let go of my son. I wasn't going to let go.

We started eating, and I picked up my perfectly straight knife I had set down earlier and a fork, that wasn't quite straight and began to slowly eat. I took little bites, since I wasn't hungry. I wanted to check on Ryan, but I was stuck her. Next to Sandy and Aerin, across from my father and Julie. This was going to be a long night.

"So, Kiki, are you going to tell me who this girl is next to you, or just let us go un-introduced?" Oh no. This wasn't going to go well.

"Sorry. Dad, this is Aerin. Aerin, this is my father, Caleb Nichol," I quickly looked up to my dad and to Aerin before going back to my food.

The two shook hands, and I knew the trouble would begin.

"So, how do you know Kiki?" I wish he would stop saying that. I really did not like that name. But he never stopped calling me it. I should've gotten used to it so long ago, but I never had. Because I hated it.

"Actually, I know Seth," Aerin seemed confused by my nickname, anyone would. Gosh, I hate that name.

"How did you know him?" My father began interrogating her. I felt bad for Aerin, she was totally taken off guard.

"Um, I was dating him," Aerin sounded scared. Almost everyone was afraid of my father. He was Caleb Nichol, the richest and meanest man in Newport.

"Ah, so you're the girl I overheard was having my great grandchild?" I stopped eating. Everyone else did. I looked up and saw every eye on Aerin. How did he figure that out?

I scanned around the table and saw only three faces not surprised from this revelation. Sandy, Summer, and Marissa. Summer must've told Marissa, and my father overheard.

I put my head in my hands and pushed my hair back, trying to avoid eye contact with everyone. I knew Hailey was staring at me, and then shooting back to Aerin.

"So are you?" My dad asked again, thinking that announcing to everyone that someone was pregnant was a normal occurrence at a dinner table. Well, it wasn't.

"Yes," Aerin could barely be heard, but I knew everyone had heard. "Excuse me," She bolted out of the room.

"Why did you do that, Dad?" I asked him once I mustered up the courage to yell at my dad once more. No one talked anymore, everyone just ate in silence.

"I wanted to know if I was right about hearing that I was going to have a great grandchild," My father justified his stupidness.

"But why did you have to announce it to everyone?" I asked him, getting mad.

"I assumed everyone knew. You seem to talk to everyone except me, so I figured they all knew," I was so not in the mood for this talk with my father.

"Well, they didn't. Dad, you are......" I was going to tell him off. "..unbelievable," No I wasn't. I stood up and walked out of the room and up the stairs to check on Aerin. Make sure she was okay. My father did strange things to people. I couldn't count how many people he had made cry at work.

I found Aerin sitting on her bed again, laughing through tears. She had pictures in her hand, and she was flipping through them.

"How are you?" I asked her, hoping she wasn't too emotionally scared from my father.

"I'm fine. A little weirded by your father though," She seemed normal. That was good. Only very robot-like people were a tiny bit terrified by my dad. I think Rachel was like that...

"He does that to a lot of people," I walked in as she sat up on the bed. "What were you looking at?" My natural curiosity was coming out.

"Um, I had picked these up in Sydney about two months ago now, and I never took them out," She paused, sensing I still had no clue what they were. I didn't. "There pictures of me, and Seth."

"Oh," I said, smiling at her.

"Here," Aerin handed me the pictures and I was looking at a happy Seth in a very tiny apartment. He looked so content, and a little bit not like my Seth. He seemed older.

"That's our apartment," She pointed out to me, and I looked in the background. It was really, really, tiny. I could see a tad bit of the kitchen and the bedroom on opposite ends of the picture.

I began flipping through the pictures, missing my son more and more with each of them.

"Can I have this one?" I asked her, showing the picture of my Seth. I had looked at the date. It was about two weeks after he left. He was still my baby. He hadn't grown up yet. He wasn't gone yet.

"Oh sure. Yeah, that's fine. Go ahead," Aerin let me and I continued looking at the photos. All of a sudden, the door burst open and Sandy was there.

"Honey, you gotta come down," He told me. What? What was wrong?

"Why?" I didn't understand.

"It's chaos down there. Julie and Hailey are fighting, and Caleb is trying to referee, which isn't working. I'm afraid they might join sides and go after him. Plus, Summer has just passed out, and I got her to the couch, and Lindsay's watching her, but I don't know how long the Julie-Hailey-CayCay thing is gonna last in the kitchen. And I could've sworn as I was coming up here, I saw Marissa kissing Alex," Sandy gave me a lot to think about.

"What?" I was so confused.

"We gotta get down there fast. I know the Nana is strong, but I mean, the chemo has been wearing her down, and she's never taken on Hailey or your dad, or Julie Cooper. I didn't want to leave her alone down there," Sandy told me. "I am afraid for all our lives and the survival of the house. Mostly the kitchen. I don't think it can take much more revelations. It's been through too much," Sandy was probably just overreacting. But I couldn't be too sure.

"Let's go," I got up and placed the pictures on the bed. Aerin followed me and Sandy led us all downstairs. The first thing I saw was Summer passed out on the couch, with Marissa, Alex, and Lindsay watching her.

"Hi, Mr. Cohen," A slightly guilty looking Marissa said. "Um, she took my drink."

"And mine," Alex added.

"And found the liquor cabinet," Lindsay finished. Aerin went over to help as me and Sandy went into the kitchen. The Nana was trying to settle the fights, but it wasn't quite working. Hailey and Julie were ganging up on my father, but then again, they were fighting with each other.

"How's it going?" Sandy asked his mother in a light voice as she backed to the doorway.

"Well, I'm trying, but I don't know who is on whose side. They keep changing. It's really confusing," Nana Cohen told us.

It had turned out to be a tepid dinner after all. And I thought things would go horribly wrong.

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Two days had passed. It was just me, Sandy, and Aerin in the house. Much better than before. I had woken up with this strange feeling, I wasn't sick, it was just something, like emotion wise. My subconscious was telling me something.

I was watching the television alone, something I rarely ever did. Aerin was upstairs, she secluded herself a lot. Sandy was out, getting groceries. Again, that was something he rarely ever did. I wanted to come with him, but he refused to let me.

Soap operas. I had to induce soap operas. This was why I did work all the time. I never could keep up with these damn shows. Nothing else was on. I wanted to work, but my

father took made me relax. What was up with this sudden "give Kirsten a break" thing? Did they think I would break down? I've broken down way too much in the last....I don't know how long it's been. It's just been long.

I heard footsteps, and I knew Aerin was coming down the stairs. She walked into the living room, and I moved over to let her dit. She sat silently, words were not much use here anymore. Someone, usually me, ended up crying. I really had to get a grip on myself. Tears everywhere.

I made a deal. No crying for.....um, a week. That was it. One tear-free week. That would be hard.

"So, I think the evil twin just came in," I told Aerin and saw her laugh. "Do you get to watch soaps a lot in Sydney?"

"Not really. Sometimes I can, but I can never keep up with them," Aerin replied. It seemed like nothing was wrong in this house. Except both my sons were gone.

"I can't really either. I would be doing work or something, but my dad won't let me. And sandy went grocery shopping. So I'm stuck," I told her, enjoying the company.

"Oh," We didn't say anything else, we just watched as people slapped others, and affairs came and went as fast as the mail, and revelations were a normal occurrence. It kind of seemed a bit like Newport.

My thoughts went back to Seth, and I felt sad, but I didn't cry. No crying. I can't do that. Then my thoughts went to Ryan, and I felt worse. When would he wake up? I needed one of my sons. Badly.

Aerin didn't say anything else, I could tell she had to still be uncomfortable here. She was shy, maybe it was just around us. Maybe she was a lot more open to Seth.

Sandy finally came home about ten minutes later, carrying two paper bags. I told Aerin to stay here, because of the baby, and I went to help Sandy with the bags. I never used to get most of them, Ryan and Seth helped when I came home, but they were gone.

"What took you so long?" I asked Sandy once we got outside.

"Well, there were two lines open, one that was the express line. This lady in front of me has twice what I had and also a million coupons that didn't ring correctly. So I had to wait as the cashier put every single coupon in and had to do price checks and ugh, it was horrible, honey," Sandy complained to me. I could just see him now, getting all worked up.

We brought the groceries in, and Aerin helped put them away, after I told her where they went. It was boring putting them away, just us three. I nearly begged for Seth's sarcasm, or something. I missed him so much, and it was killing me.

I sent Aerin upstairs, so she could sleep, and Sandy and I continued to put groceries away. It was 4:19 in the afternoon. The phone rang. I didn't think it was anything out of the blue.  
"Hello?" I answered the phone absent-mindedly.

"Mrs. Cohen?" Summer was on the other line, and she sounded like she was crying.

"What's wrong, Summer?" I got worried. Oh crap, did something bad happen to Ryan?

"Nothing's wrong. It's Ryan...." I still didn't believe her. Something happened to Ryan. This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to lose my other son.

"What about him?" I was scared to hear it.

"He's awake."

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A/n: Oh yeah!!!

Pumpkin Muffin -- Kim can't kill Seth… haha!

alexis -- PISH!!!

Harper's Pixie -- Haha. You're wish was Ali's command… and Kim is talking in third person again…

Keks -- Relaxed?! HOW CAN YOU BE RELAXED? Haha! Are you another fan of making favorite characters suffer?

i-luv-the-oc-and-smallville -- Ethan can't die, because Ethan is the second best character on Lost… he shall never die!!


	15. Claire Was Gone

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: For those of you who didn't notice, there is a story within a story with the Aerin flashbacks… And this is turning about to be mainly flashbacks, sorry for the length.

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"**Claire Was Gone"**

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_"What really counted was the possibility of escape, a leap to freedom, out of the implacable ritual, a wild run for it that would give whatever chance for hope there was."_

_"The Stranger"_ by Albert Camus

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Unfortunately, I didn't die.

My eyes slowly opened, not adjusting to much of anything. The lighting was dim as ever but my eyes wanted to close again. I refused to let them. They rolled around in their sockets, trying to find someone. I couldn't remember who. Then again, I couldn't remember much of anything that happened before…

It hit me like a train. Everything came flooding back. Even the memories made my muscles ache in pain. I let it out of me.

Then I could hear someone coming, but my head wouldn't move, so my eyes moved as far over as they possibly could go and I spotted Claire heading over to me. She looked just like I remembered her. So maybe nothing happened. How long had I been out? Was it still my birthday?

So many questions ran through my head that I couldn't vocalize.

Suddenly, I saw someone's face looming over me. At first, I wanted to cry out Aerin before I remembered how similar Aerin and Claire were in appearance.

"Seth?" I heard her ask. I cracked a small smile to let her know that I had heard her. "Oh God, Seth, don't you ever do that ever again!" she said with a sigh before disappearing from my view. What had I done to her?

I began to try to get up before I realized that my left arm was completely useless and that I was being held up only by my right arm. "What are you doing Seth?" I heard Claire ask me. My back was turned towards her. I didn't respond.

My concentration was focused on one thing and one thing only and that was sitting upright. I couldn't lie flat on my back forever.

It may hurt, but I had to do it! I felt Claire beginning to help me up as well.

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_I looked around the apartment. It was small, but cozy feeling. It was smaller than the pool house, but that didn't make it seem any less cozy. _

"_Are you coming in or what?" she asked. It was only then that I noticed that I was just standing in the doorway looking around. Before she had the chance to pull me anymore, I stepped inside and she closed the door behind me. _

_Damn she moved fast._

"_Now, your name is Seth Cohen, and you have no idea what you are doing here?" she asked me, sitting down in one of the chairs in her apartment._

"_Oh, no," I answered quickly. She motioned to the other chair and I sat down in it. "I know what I'm doing here… I just don't… know what I'm… doing here," I said, knowing that I had just made a total fool of myself. I just didn't know how to reword it._

_She giggled. "You're hilarious…" she said. I could feel some sarcasm, but not much. "How old are you Seth?"_

_Crap. Seventeen, I wasn't legal… "Eighteen," I answered almost immediately. I hoped it didn't sound too rushed, but it was a no-brainer, someone asked your age, you reply right away, unless of course you had a birthday and weren't used to being a certain age or anything. "You?"_

_As far as I could tell she didn't expect anything. "Nineteen. So what brings you to Sydney?"_

_I laughed. I wasn't going to tell her the truth, I barely even knew the girl. What did I know about her? Her name was Aerin Jenkins and she was nineteen. That was sooo much information._

"_Well?" she asked. _

"_Well, I needed a change of scenery and thought that Sydney would be nice, so I came here…"_

"_Holy shit, are you made of money or something?" she asked, a look of awe on her face._

_I chuckled again. "I guess, my grandpa is… I'm not. I can't hold a steady job, not that I needed to then, but I guess I do now…"_

"_So you're really thinking of moving here then?" she asked me, her crystal blue eyes penetrating into mine. _

"_Yeah," I answered. It was the truth now._

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I made my way up the wall and put all my weight on it, relieving all the pressure from my arm. It felt good.

"Are you okay Seth?" I heard Claire ask.

"Yeah," I said, listening to how scratchy my own voice was. We sat in silence for a while with the only noise being breathing and an occasional seethe in pain from me while trying to figure out what was wrong with my arm.

Claire broke the silence. "What is wrong with you?" she asked me.

I turned to look at her, but I couldn't focus on her, or anything else for that matter. "What?"

"There's something wrong with you… what is it?" she asked again, only this time slower.

"Homesickness," I stated simply.

"I guess we're all homesick I guess," she said. I could hear sadness in her voice. "What… what were you doing on the plane?"

As if she didn't know. I only screamed it at Charlie. "I was heading home. I guess you could say I ran away from my problems. Ended up in Sydney, got phone call, brother dead, went home, plane crashed, life sucks," I said simply, getting it all out once and quickly, before looking down.

Ryan was dead. It seemed to be okay when I said it in my head, but when I said it out loud, it really sunk in, and it hurt. My only brother was gone. He wasn't even my brother, but he was close enough to be considered my brother.

We were silent again. She probably couldn't think of what to say, so I broke the silence. "How about you?"

She didn't answer right away. "I don't really know. I went to this physic, and he said that my baby would be dangerous if not raised by me, or something like that, and then proceeded to tell me that there was a family in LA that my baby would be okay with, and I believed him. Look where it got me," she said slowly, sniffling by the end.

Now I was the one who didn't know what to say. More silence. I had heard enough silence in the past week to last me forever. If I never had a moment of silence ever again, it would be too soon. The only problem was, I didn't know exactly what to say.

Claire saved me from the silence. "But I guess you're worse off here than me. I mean Ethan seems to hate you. You were out for nearly two days, I though you were dead," she trailed off.

So that answered one of my questions. He must have hit me pretty hard on the head. Two days. That was a long time. I didn't say anything.

More silence. Slowly, I drifted off to sleep.

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_Sydney was beautiful. After Aerin taught me the reins, got me a job at a local club. Nothing could go wrong. Sure I wasn't making a lot of money, but I had a job, a place to live. And no Newport. I hadn't really even thought of Newport._

_What was even better was that I think Aerin was my girlfriend. We did everything together, and I think I was her boyfriend, at least in the way she was treating me. Like I was a human being, not some stupid little toy. _

_It had been three weeks I had been in Sydney, three whole weeks when Aerin came out of the blue and said:_

"_I want you to meet my parents."_

_WHOA! I would have never expected that. She had parents? I had never even heard her talk of parents. I thought she was one of those chicks that like… didn't have any parents. I was wrong._

"_Uh… okay?" I said, as more of a question than a response to her statement. I wasn't good with parents. I mean I totally screwed up with Summer's parents, and I think I had a direct influence on why my parents wanted a divorce._

_Seth Cohen Parents NOT GOOD!!!!_

"_Awesome Seth!! They're going to love you!" I laughed slightly as she hugged me. So she did like me. Did this mean we were going out? I was about to ask her when she kissed me. And it wasn't just a peck either._

_I was confused. _

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_The next thing I knew I was in a small town outside of Sydney with Aerin and she was knocking on the door. I was nervous as all hell._

"_Just be yourself Seth, there's nothing wrong with being yourself."_

_I laughed. She didn't get it. The equation. Parents and I… we didn't work. I was about to back away when the door opened._

_A small woman that looked to be about fifty answered the door. "AERIN!!" she shouted, grabbing her daughter (I think) and hugging her tightly. Then she noticed me. Shit. Couldn't run now. "And who is this strapping young man?" she asked._

_Me? Strapping? The woman must have been high. "Mum, this is my boyfriend, Seth. Seth, this is my mother." Well, that answered my question; she did think I was her boyfriend. See, this wasn't that bad._

_The woman looked at me. She was quite intimidating, even though she was like a few heads shorter than me. Then without warning, she hugged me. Must have been a hugging family, like the one on Full House. I used to watch that show. It was still on Nick at Nite… but that didn't get Nick at Nite here. _

"_Nice to meet you Seth, come in come in, we don't bite. Well, can't say that for Sandy…" she said with a chuckle. Sandy. Dad. Why was this happening?_

_I was still a bit taken back. This was quite an odd experience. Aerin's mom seemed… cool. Maybe a little high, but cool. _

_I stepped into the house. It was bigger than the apartment, but it still had that cozy feel to it that none of the Newport mansions had. _

_Then I spotted an older girl, who looked to be about… ten years older than Aerin sitting on the couch. She stood up and hugged Aerin when she walked into the room. "Never thought I'd see you around here. You have the fancy job in the city," she said rolling her eyes. Then she looked at me. _

"_And who is the flavor of the month?" she asked laughing._

_Aerin slapped the girl playfully. "Mercedes, this is my boyfriend, Seth… not flavor of the month. Seth, this is my older sister, Mercedes."_

_She held out her hand and I shook it. It was less awkward than the hugging. "How long'll this one last?"_

_This was a bad idea._

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Once again, my eyes opened, but I wasn't safe. I was still there. I looked around for Claire and found her. She had fallen asleep lying with her head against one of the grungy, dirty walls. "Claire…" I said, trying to get her to wake up. I had a plan.

"Claire… Claire…" I said, realizing that trying to get up would be useless with only one good arm. I could make her out moving.

"Seth?" she asked, moving closer to me. I waited until I could see her before taking a deep breath and relaxing.

"I have an idea…"

She didn't respond, she just stared at me. I stared back. This was a waste of time. Time a precious commodity that I felt we didn't have enough of at this moment. "Are you up to it?" I asked.

"For what?" she asked quietly.

"To get out…" I said, hoping she would understand where I was coming from.

"Like… escape?" she asked. I nodded and she sighed. "It's not going to happen Seth, they watch us like a hawk."

I smiled. "You're doubting the brains here," I said, the little inside joke with Ryan. She didn't get it. "I have a plan. I don't think that there are that many of them. If I can cause enough of a scene to distract them all, you can run."

This feeling deep inside of me knew it was going to work, but Claire would never agree to it. Not only was her baby still here, but she'd never let me do this.

"But Seth…"

Ha. Who was right?

I cut her off. "No buts. Get out. I don't think you understand that all I am is… well, I'm not important. Maybe you never noticed, but I'm the one that they hate. They could kill me at any time. It doesn't matter. You… people care about you Claire. No one cares about little old Seth Cohen, you know…"

She cut me off. "No one cares about you? What about the people at home? Your parents, your girlfriend… you can't tell me that they don't care about you."

I looked to the ground. She brought up the bad subject. "They already probably think I'm dead. They didn't come after me when I ran away, they don't care. You need to get out of here. I'll only have one chance, and you better take it."

Silence. I looked straight in her eye. I could tell she was thinking about it really hard. She closed her eyes and reopened them and nodded.

Good.

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_Mercedes seemed, a little strange. But oddly a lot like Aerin. Of course, they were sisters, so maybe that had something to do with something._

_Mrs. Jenkins (I wasn't about to call her by her first name, or mom) was cooking dinner, and I wanted to help, but she shooed me out. I had never been shooed out of a kitchen before. It was an odd feeling._

_So I sat down, next to Aerin who was in a deep conversation with her sister about the television show that was on the previous night. I slept. I didn't watch it. So I felt out of place._

"_And then, they found him, three bullet wounds, but who shot him?" said Aerin. She was acting like a giddy little girl._

"_I think it was Jimmy. Because I mean, he loved Lola, but Lola loved Adam and… it was so sweet."_

_Once again, I looked lost. Correction. I was lost. Stupid night time dramas. Let's see how much crap we can do. It was like a soap opera, but not on when the sun was shining. And possibly more sex. That was all._

_I began to zone again until the door opened and I heard Aerin squeal, "DADDY!!!" before jumping up and running towards the middle-aged man that had just walked in. _

"_Aerin, what a pleasant surprise. Run out of money?" he asked with a laugh. Aerin laughed too. _

"_Daddy, why do you think that the only time I show up is when I need money?" she giggled. "Sometimes I come for other reasons."_

_I sunk down in my seat. The father curse. Every time I met a girl's father, I seriously screwed things up. Always. _

"_Like what dear?" he asked laughing. _

"_My boyfriend. We thought that he should meet you guys." Here comes the inevitable. _

_I could feel his eyes looking at me. I turned to look at him and he laughed. "Dad, this is Seth. Seth, this is my dad." Slowly, I stood up, and realized that I was shorter than this guy. Being shorter than him wasn't the best thing in the world right now. It just made me feel so much more insignificant. I didn't need to feel any more… out of place. _

_He held out his hand and I shook it. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Jenkins," I said, not quite sure of what else to say._

_Mr. Jenkins laughed and shook back. His grip wasn't as firm as I expected it to be. "No one calls me Mister, Seth. Just call me Steve."_

"_Okay Steve…" I said, still not feeling at all comfortable._

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Time passed. I didn't know how long of a time we were sitting there, in utter silence. It was unnerving. Claire didn't talk, I didn't talk. There was nothing to talk about. I had a feeling that she wasn't going to do it, but she had to.

A sigh escaped me. I was scared, I was nervous. Every possible emotion imaginable other than relief and happiness were coursing through me.

Suddenly, a horrible feeling shot through me. I couldn't explain it, it was like a panic, a horrible horrible panic. "Claire… don't forget," I whispered urgently. I don't know why I did it, but I was glad I did.

"Why?" Claire asked me, but I never got to respond.

Suddenly the hatch opened up and light poured in, blinding me. I closed my eyes slightly and heard someone just jump down. His shadow blocked the light and I opened my eyes. It was Ethan. It was as if I knew, it was as if I knew that he was coming. I could just make out his horrible grimace.

He moved past me and over towards Claire. Without any though I shouted out, "NO!"

Ethan turned to look at me and laughed. "Dear God, not another hero," he spat. "You saw what happened to the other one…" I knew he was talking about Charlie and I felt like beating the shit out of him, but I couldn't. "Do you want the same fate Seth?"

In one ear, out the other… in one ear, out the other. It didn't work. Damn it.

"Do you?" he asked angrily, forgetting about Claire and turning on me. He grabbed my shoulders hard and pulled me up. My head just about brushed the ceiling. "Sometimes, I just think you like the attention Cohen," he said before punching me hard across the face.

I heard Claire cry out, but I said nothing. I had gotten the crap beaten out of me before, this was no different. "Stop playing the hero. You aren't a freaking hero. You're a loser. You're a wimp. You are useless."

My blood began to boil. I put my hand up to my mouth and felt the blood. "You aren't worth the space you take up!"

BAM! Suddenly I couldn't control my anger again and I punched Ethan, hard. I couldn't believe that I nearly floored him. He staggered a back a few steps and then laughed. "You are an idiot," he said, wiping the blood away. I had caused him to bleed. I was a bit proud of myself.

I looked over at Claire, who was staring at me in shock. "SETH!" she shouted before I felt Ethan hitting me hard on the back. I fell down flat. I wasn't expecting that. He grabbed me and pulled me back up. How the scrawny little man was so abnormally strong still shocked me. I felt myself being pulled up to my feet.

"Say goodbye Claire," he said as I felt myself being pulled up through the hole and everything being plunged into darkness.

I hope she went through with it. She had to.

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_The dinner didn't go as badly as I thought of it would have. 'Steve' as he liked to be called wasn't at all like Dr. Roberts. We actually got along quite well. He liked comic books, but I did most of the talking during that conversation. All of the girls seemed totally lost, but it was still really funny._

_Too soon, it was time to leave. Far too soon. For once, I didn't want to stop talking to a parental figure. I even got tired talking to my own parents. _

"_So you'll come around again then Seth?" he asked me as I was standing at the door. _

"_Sure," I said. It was a more mature and caring Comic Book Club. I just couldn't stop smiling. Not only had I not totally screwed everything up, but it actually turned out quite nicely. "Nice to meet you Steve," I said, now not at all uncomfortable calling him by his first name. _

"_Nice to meet you too Seth…"_

_No. Things actually turned out all right._

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The next thing I saw, I was back in that room. That horrible, horrible room. They already strapped me into the chair and I was totally freaked out. I began shaking uncontrollably. My eyes rolled around so quickly in my eye sockets, I almost got dizzy. I coughed.

"So now the big and wonderful hero is weak and frail, eh?" he asked. I didn't respond, trying to get myself free. It was just something that I did, it didn't matter. I had to buy time for Claire.

She had to get out.

The bright light dimmed and I finally had a chance to look around. It was quite a small room, the ceiling was higher than it was in the little room, and it made it all seem so much bigger. I saw three or four men standing by the one entrance to the door, and then there was Ethan.

He was so close to me it was scary. Just staring at me. I stopped struggling. That was when I noticed all the needles sitting on a table to my left. Well, not needles, syringes. They must have been so old, so unsanitary.

My eyes followed Ethan as he reached over and grabbed one of them and then just looked at it. "Do you know what this is?" he asked, still looking at the clear substance in the syringe. He turned. A shot of fear ran through me.

He was going to inject me with it.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked me again. I slowly shook my head.

Ethan chuckled. "This… this will make it feel like every nerve ending in your body is on fire…"

"You can't do that," I said, trying to freak him out.

"Want to bet? The only problem is, this is completely experimental… it might just kill you…" he said, bringing the needle closer to my arm. I tried to move it, but I couldn't. All I could do was look away. I had never liked shots. Never ever. Needles just totally freaked me out. And then needles that only caused more pain and possibly death… I didn't even wanna think about it.

I had my eyes shut so tightly. I felt the needle going in and a quiet shout escaped me. I could feel it, there was no going back. Oh shit. Oh God. The fear was beginning to well up inside of me. I didn't want to be here.

I could feel the liquid being shot into my blood stream, and the needle being pulled out. I opened my eyes and looked over at the small hole that was now bleeding and chuckled.

It was all a hoax. He was lying. I felt all the fear left me. "Oh, give it time…" Ethan said with a smile, turning his back towards me. I sure as hell hoped that Claire had listened to me and was working her way out of here. I really hoped. She had to. Unless she was stupid.

"Five…" Ethan said. What the hell was he going on about? He looked at his wrist (where there is no watch).

"Four…"

"Three…" He was starting to freak me out now. Really freak me out.

"Two…"

"One…" Then it hit me. The most horrible pain I had ever felt in my entire life. I couldn't hold it in and screamed so loudly, I swear that anyone could have heard me, even the people at the caves, at the beach, even if they were on the other side of the island.

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I had run out of stamina, I had run out of tears. But I couldn't stop, the pain… the pain… it just never would stop. Even when I sworn it had stopped, I could still feel a dull pain.

Mentally, physically, spiritually I was exhausted. I was spent. As the drug me back, not worrying about anything. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't… I couldn't move or anything. I felt like dying would be better than this. This wasn't fatal. This was worse.

I felt myself falling once again down into the hole, but I couldn't feel anything when I hit the ground except for the sudden realization that I was on the ground.

The light faded away, and everything was quiet. A little too quiet.

It even hurt my eyes to roll around in their sockets, but I did, and I was alone.

Completely and utterly alone.

A bit of relief flashed through me when I realized… Claire was gone.

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A/n: MWHAHAHAHA!!! Anyone who notices one Lost thing in the flashbacks and/or a 24 reference (possibly not in the flashbacks) gets a… cookie!!!

Harper's Pixie -- xD… I will make sure Ali knows. And yes, she is a she. HAHA. To tell you the truth, not even I know how he'll react.

The Pirate Illusionist -- Haha! Thanks! The O.C. is on uh… Fox on Wednesdays at 8…

DeuCe628 -- Haha

Pumpkin Muffin -- Haha.

Keks -- Haha. Don't worry about it, I am the exact same way! Haha!

alexis -- Pishy pish pish pish! haha! One of them… just one…

i-love-the-oc-and-smallville -- giggles


	16. Unbelievably Believable : SIDEBAR

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: "One Ring to rule them all… One Ring to find them… One Ring to bring them all… and in the darkness bind them…" Oops, wrong Domness… and section… I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Yet another sidebar… because everyone wants to know the reaction when Claire gets back… or at least I do. This one centers on Claire.

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"**Unbelievably Believable"**

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She ran. Faster than she had ever run in her entire life. The only sounds that reached her ears were her footsteps pounding, echoing off the walls as well as her breathing, heavy and short. She was terrified, so far, just by dumb luck, Seth's plan had worked.

The only problem was, she was lost. It wasn't at all like she expected it to be, and without very much food or water (if any) she was already losing her strength. But she had to keep going. If she got caught… she didn't want to think of what would happen.

Her thoughts lingered on her baby. She was leaving her baby in the hands of a crazed maniac. She felt that it she would never ever see her baby again, and the thought made her stop. What was she doing? She couldn't leave without first finding her baby.

All the odds were against her. If she would find her baby, there would be chances of someone watching him, and if there was someone watching him, she wouldn't be able to escape. She'd always be able to come back (if she remembered how to) with more people. Then she'd be able to help Seth too.

She had decided. After convincing herself that this was the best idea, the best plan, she continued, but this time at a steadier pace. Then suddenly she stopped. A loud scream reached her ears. It could only have come from one person. Seth. She had to turn around, she had to stop him, but his words echoed in her mind.

"_I have a plan. I don't think that there are that many of them. If I can cause enough of a scene to distract them all, you can run."_

Maybe that was all it was. Maybe it was just a distraction. She could only hope as she continued trying to find the exit.

The screaming never stopped, it just kept going and going, echoing off the walls. Echoing, never ceasing. Making her feel sick to her stomach. Maybe it wasn't a distraction. Maybe they were doing something horrible. Maybe she should turn back.

Maybe.

But she didn't. She could smell fresh air, she hadn't smelled it in such a long time, it was a welcomed thing. It meant she was near the exit. She remembered watching Lord of the Rings with Thomas.

"_But the air doesn't smell so foul down here. If in doubt Meriadoc, always follow your nose…"_

That little bit of advice stuck in her head. And soon, she found her way to a wooden door. She could see the light coming from underneath it. She pushed and pushed and pushed, but got nowhere. She soon found herself sitting on the ground, nearly in tears. She had gotten so close, so close only to fail now.

With a loud cry, she stood up again and tried someone, not knowing that that cry could have caused more and more people to come looking for her. It was only then that she realized that she was pushing; the door could be a pull open door.

Quickly, using her small fingers, she pushed them into one of the cracks between the door and the wall, and pulled as hard as she could.

A bright light blinded her.

Claire was free.

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She didn't know how long she was wandering around the jungle. She was lost. She was hungry, thirsty. But she couldn't stop. She wouldn't allow herself to give up. By now it was dark. She was bound to get lost. But the point was, she didn't know where she was going in the first place. All she really was doing was wandering around in hopes of finding something.

Or in hopes that someone would find her.

That was when she heard it. The high pitched noise. It was so quiet, but she could hear it, just barely. She began to work her way towards the noise. She could hear someone moving as well. As long as it wasn't Ethan, that would be good.

Then the noise stopped. She heard the whistling noise again and began moving.

"Vincent…" she heard someone call out. The voice. It sounded so familiar. And Vincent. That named sounded familiar as well. "Vincent?"

It was so close. She reached threw some bushes and found herself face to face with Locke and Boone. "Thank God," she thought. With that, she promptly passed out.

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Between Locke and Boone they got her back to the caves safely. At once Jack rushed over. "Claire?" he asked.

"She's out," Boone said, with Locke's help carrying her over to a ledge and setting her down.

"What… where?" Jack asked.

"She was walking through the jungle Jack. She just passed out as soon as she found us…" Boone explained. Jack was still a bit confused, but immediately began tending to her wounds.

She seethed slightly because the alcohol burned. "Shhhhh Claire," Jack said soothingly, trying to get her to calm down. He noticed that she was no longer pregnant and was worried about what exactly had happened to her.

Then it hit her. "Seth… Seth needs help."

The comment took Jack for a loop. According to Charlie, Seth was evil, but Claire actually sounded worried about him. He didn't know exactly what to believe.

"Claire?" Claire's talking had awoken Charlie.

Not worrying about the burning of scars that Jack was healing, Claire turned and looked at Charlie. The look of disbelief on her face was so evident. "Charlie?" she asked, blinking quite a few times. She didn't believe her eyes. Ethan had killed Charlie. Charlie was dead.

No. Charlie was standing right there and walking closer. It had to be some sort of dream. There was no way that Charlie could have survived. "Claire… love?"

Suddenly, she felt extremely light headed and fell back down. Exhaustion took over, pulling her into a deep sleep.

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When she awoke, Charlie was right there next to her. Maybe it wasn't a dream. Maybe he really was alive. He had to be.

"Charlie?" she asked weakly. She was still exhausted.

"Claire, love you're up, finally," he said, not bothering to hide the joy in his voice.

It was as if Claire never heard what Charlie said. She was too busy looking at him. The rope marks on his neck. She studied them. So it had happened. Ethan did try to kill Charlie… but how… how could he have survived that. "You're alive…" she said almost silently.

The tears began to fall. She couldn't believe that he was alive. Charlie nodded, and wiped away the tears. "And now that you're back I'm even better," he admitted. The thought brought a smile to her face. Then she heard a scream.

She sat up quickly. It made her dizzy. "What was that?" she asked quickly.

"Nothing Claire. There was nothing."

But Claire knew that was wrong. She heard a scream. It sounded like… Seth. Crap! She had almost totally forgotten about him. He was probably dying now. Once Ethan found out that she had escaped.

"Shit," she cursed angrily.

"What is it?" asked Charlie, stunned. He had never heard Claire curse before.

"Seth--" she started. Charlie cut her off.

"That bastard. What did he do to you?" he asked angrily.

Claire was confused. "Nothing…" she said slowly, getting up. Charlie set her back down. He wouldn't let her go. "Charlie. He's in trouble. He's gonna die… Charlie…" She tried to get up, but she could see the anger in his face. "Charlie?"

"He has you brainwashed," he said simply. "Seth is bad news Claire. He's evil."

Once again, confusion took over Claire. What was Charlie saying? He didn't hear him scream. He wasn't there when they beat the living crap out of him. She pushed Charlie out of the way. Now it was his turn to be confused.

"You have no idea, do you?" she asked. He could see the weariness in her eyes. She couldn't go out there. Ethan was out there.

"Claire, stop," he said, grabbing her arm to stop her. Claire froze before grabbing her other arm and forcing Charlie's hand off of her.

"Charlie, don't…" she said. "Just… don't…"

With that, she walked off into the jungle.

Charlie mentally slapped himself as he followed her into the jungle.

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He kept a distance from her, so she wouldn't know she was being followed. Charlie was worried about her. They must have brainwashed her. That was the only way that she would think that Seth was in trouble. At least that was what he thought.

Seth was bad news. But obviously, Claire didn't believe that.

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Sawyer.

Sawyer tromped his way though the jungle. It had been over a week since anyone had any news on Seth. Sawyer knew it was crazy, but he felt as if Seth was the only person he could trust. And now, he was out there somewhere. Probably dead. He didn't want to think that though. Seth was strong.

Then there was the fact that everyone believed the stupid little has-been and thought Seth was some crazy murderer person. Sawyer knew better than that. Seth couldn't hurt a fly. He had learned that when he broke down over the death of his brother.

But he couldn't convince anyone that Seth wasn't evil. Everyone just loved him. 'Specially after he flipped off the doc. But he didn't care. Jack had taken the word of a half-dead has-been. He had been trying to find Seth and the girl the whole time. With no luck.

Damn it to hell. Sawyer kicked the dirt in front of him. It was a lost hope. The stupid fucking island was so big, and Seth was just a kid. A kid. He was what, seventeen? Great age to die, wasn't it?

With all his mental rambling, Sawyer didn't notice as he ran into someone. He didn't apologize, as he looked at the man there. Holy shit. He knew who that was.

Ethan.

"Where the hell is he?" Sawyer asked angrily, easily picking up the scrawny man. Ethan didn't look a bit frightened. Actually, he laughed. That was confusing.

Quickly, with only a flip of the wrist, Ethan had grabbed a knife out of his pocket and now had it pointed directly at Sawyer. "Let me go," he said coolly and calmly. Not quite ready to die, Sawyer did, but he didn't take his eyes of the traitorous man.

It was only a second afterwards that Sawyer realized that that was on sucky idea. Almost as quickly as Ethan had pulled the knife out, he had it turned around and directly across Sawyers neck. "Now you listen, and you listen good, you hear me out. If you don't bring back Claire to me, I will kill him…"

"Kill who, you bastard?" Sawyer cursed angrily.

"Seth Cohen…"

With that, Ethan hit Sawyer hard on the head. Sawyer blacked out and fell to the ground. Ethan walked away, quite satisfied.

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Claire continued to walk through the jungle. She didn't know where she was going, but she had to escape everyone. They were driving her insane. She didn't know that Charlie was following her. She thought to the best of her knowledge that she was walking alone.

She knew it wasn't safe. But she didn't care. They all hated Seth, and Seth was the only reason she was alive. But she couldn't bring herself to tell them that. She was so worried about his safety.

"_Well if you were so worried about him, why did you leave him?"_

That was what was running through her head ever since she started her walk. She shouldn't have left. She didn't know where he was or anything. She had screwed up big time.

Then she noticed something. She stopped dead. She could hear someone breathing deeply. "Hello?" she whispered quietly, hoping that it wasn't Ethan.

Moving slowly into a grove, she spotted Sawyer leaning against a tree. While she didn't really care for the man, but he looked like he was hurt.

"Sawyer?" she asked, walking over to him.

"Well, if it isn't the girl of the hour?" he asked sarcastically in his strong southern drawl.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked, curiosity taking over.

He didn't respond at first. Claire could see a look of worry in his eyes. What had happened. "Sawyer?" she asked.

"Well, apparently, Ethan wants you back sweetie…" he said. Claire was confused. He had had a run in with Ethan? That must have meant that he was around here somewhere. Worriedly, she looked around. Then Sawyer continued.

"He's gonna kill the kid if he don't get you back babes," he said.

Claire was confused. The kid? Her immediate thoughts went to her baby. Sawyer must have read her mind. She didn't have to say anything.

"He said he's gonna kill Cohen if he don't get you back…"

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A/n: AHHH!!! What the hell am I doing? And no one believes me when I say Ethan is my second favorite character. Maybe that is why…

Sk8ingclownx9x -- not my choice as to whether or not to have Anna in it… but I'll pass it on!

Keks -- XD!! Wednesday is Lost-day… and the updates may be sparse now… xD… I had like three chapters written… xD

alexis -- What exactly was it though? xD…thanks! PISH!

paige fan -- XD…Seth is a pretty cool character, but I like the Newport parts (probably because I don't like them)


	17. The Homecoming

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: "One Ring to rule them all… one Ring to find them… One Ring to bring them all… and in the darkness bind them…" Oops, wrong Domness… and section… I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: This is told from Ryan's POV.

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"**The Homecoming"**

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I opened my eyes. Where the hell was I? I heard someone scream. That wasn't good at all.

"Ryan?" Summer. Where were we? The last thing I remember was...the accident. Oh shit, had I passed out? But this place didn't seem like a car accident. "Ryan?"

"Summer?" I asked. My voice wasn't mine. It sounded so weak, like it hadn't been used in forever.

"Oh my God, you're awake," Summer came into my view. She was safe. Not harmed. She was alive. And so was I. We had survived.

"Where are we?" This wasn't the car accident.

"The hospital. Ryan, what's the last thing you remember?" Summer was crying. I hadn't seen her cry ever.

"Um, getting in the accident," I answered to her. I was really confused.

"Good. Um, let me go get the doctors," Summer rushed out of the room. I sat up, and wondered what had happened. I looked around, and saw that it was mid-afternoon. I must've been asleep for a few hours.

Summer came back soon, and doctors swarmed me. I don't think I was ever this confused. What the hell was going on? I could see Summer on the phone.

I zoned out as the doctors were checking me. I kept my eyes on Summer as she was on the phone. What was happening? Did they do this to everyone?

Summer didn't look injured, and I wondered why. We had been hit hard. I thought we were both dead. I just remember seeing that car coming, and Summer screaming and...nothing else. I barely remembered anything from the accident.

"Ryan, how old are you?" There was only one doctor in the room now. Where had they all gone? I was so out of it.

"Seventeen," Why the hell was the doctor asking me that? It didn't make sense.

"Okay, good. What's the last thing you remember?" I was getting freaked out more. They had to have always done this stuff. Unless, I was wrong. Maybe I hadn't slept for just a few hours.

"The accident," I answered him clearly.

"Good, good. No memory loss," The doctor commented. Memory loss? I had to be wrong. Something was going on.

"Why would I have memory loss?" I asked him. He was about to answer, but Kirsten and Sandy ran in. There was some other girl with her that I didn't know. Where did she come from? I was only out a few hours. I had to be.

"Oh Ryan! You're awake, you're really awake!" Kirsten was hugging me, hard. I barely could breathe. She was crying, and I think Sandy was also. Summer had walked over to the bed, and she smiled at me broadly as I attempted to breathe. That mysterious girl lingered back. Who was she? Did everyone know she was there? "I can't believe it. Finally," What did Kirsten mean by 'finally'? How long had I been out? The time was racking up in my head. It was more than a few hours.

"Mrs. Cohen, calm down. He just woke up, he's weak," The doctor told Kirsten. She slowly let go me, and I took a deep breath.

"I just can't believe you're awake Ryan. You've been out for so long," Kirsten was crying really hard. I had never seen her cry this bad. I didn't think I mattered to them this much. It was insanity.

"How long have I been out?" I asked them. They acted as though I had been out for a year. A week, tops. Maybe it just seemed like a year to them. I don't remember sleeping that long. But I did remember bits and pieces of things...

"Well, over six weeks," Kirsten answered. I couldn't believe it. Six weeks? I had been out for six weeks? I had missed so much. Was everyone fully okay? Did Seth come home? Did we even hear from him?

"Wow," was all I could say. This was insane. Six weeks. I couldn't have been out for a full six weeks. That was impossible. I wasn't a heavy sleeper. I barely ever slept sound.

"Well, you don't seem to have any memory loss, which is good," The doctor told me. Yeah, no memory loss. Except I lost six weeks of my life.

"Yeh, that's great," Sandy commented. Soon, silence had come over is. I still couldn't believe what I've been hearing. I lost five weeks of my life. I had been in a coma for five weeks.

The doctor left a few minutes later, leaving us to be enwrapped in our silence.

"So what did I miss?" I asked them, hoping nothing did happen, but yet wanting things to happen. Maybe Seth came home, but I would've missed it. Maybe someone got married or something, who knows.

"A lot," Summer answered me. That wasn't good. What had happened? I felt so lost.

"As in?" I wanted to know everything. Every single little detail. I had to know. It was killing me not knowing.

"Are you hungry Ryan? How about we get you something to eat. And I can go see when you can get discharged," Kirsten was changing the subject. Something big must have happened. Did I want to know? Maybe I shouldn't know. Since no one wanted to tell me.

"What happened?" I asked again, I wasn't letting this go. Everyone else might, but not me. I had to know. I could take it. It wasn't like someone was dead. Or maybe someone was. Oh God, that might be what they didn't want to tell me. Everyone was here that was here when I left.

"We heard from Seth," Kirsten choked out. Seth called? That was great. What was so bad about that?

"Is he coming back?" I might be able to see my brother again. He had been gone for two months. No, that was when the accident happened. Now it was three months. Three months without a word. That was too long.

"He was," Kirsten answered ever so softly, but I still heard it. Was? Did he change his mind or something?

"What do you mean 'was'? He's not coming anymore? Where is he?" I asked. I wanted to see Seth again. I had almost died, and that was a scary thought.

"We don't know where he is," Sandy answered this time, because Kirsten was breaking up again. I saw fresh tears fall from her eyes, and I felt sad. Those weren't tears of happiness.

"Isn't he in Sydney?" That's were Kirsten and Sandy said he was. He was far enough from us, he didn't have to keep running away.

"He left," Sandy was being very vague. There were too many unanswered questions going on here. Where was Seth? Was he alive? Who was that girl?

"And you don't know where he is?" I couldn't get used to it. How could Kirsten and Sandy not know where Seth was? Didn't he use the credit card to tell him he was alive and stuff like that? I heard them talk about that two weeks into his disappearance.

Those were bad times. Kirsten cried constantly, and Sandy was calling every single person he knew for information on where he might be. Then the credit report came in. Kirsten slowly stopped crying and held her pain inside, and Sandy didn't call people anymore. We mostly had given up. Except for the constant messages on his answering machine.

"We know where he was headed to," Sandy offered me. If they knew where he used to be, and where he was headed, couldn't you find him?

"Where's that?" My head was still spinning. Six weeks. A lot must've happened in six weeks. A lot more than I imagined.

"He was headed home," Kirsten blurted out all of a sudden. Summer was staying quiet now. She wasn't even looking up from the floor. Something was up, badly.

"If he was coming home, wouldn't he be home?" I didn't get it. Flights weren't that long. Especially from Sydney. A few hours, tops.

"He would be, yeah," Kirsten answered. She didn't look up at me either. Only Sandy was looking at me. Would they just tell me? I was sick of this game.

"Well then where is he?" Where the hell was Seth? I wanted to know.

"We don't know, Ryan," Kirsten answered me sternly and strictly. I was a little surprised from the tone in her voice.

"Sorry," I apologized like I used to when Dawn would raise her voice. I always apologized right away before she screamed at me more.

"No, Ryan, I shouldn't have raised my voice," I still had to get used to the Cohens. They weren't my old family. "We didn't want to tell you all this right away because we figured it might for too much for you."

"I can take it," I knew I could. It wouldn't be so bad, right? Kirsten sat on the bed next to me.

"Well, when you got in the accident, I called Seth one last time to see if he would answer. And he didn't. But, um, about a week after the accident, he finally listened to his messages. And he rushed to the airport to come home," Kirsten sounded like she heard everything from Seth. Maybe Seth was home. "And he got on a plane. Oceanic Flight 815. He called us a second right before he got on the plane," I felt a bit uncomfortable hearing all this. What was Kirsten getting at? Where was Seth?

"Uh, we went to go get him at the airport," Kirsten continued, tearing up again. "The plane didn't come down on time. His girlfriend was on a different flight, and we met up with her. Aerin, back there," Kirsten looked back at the girl. So that was who she was. Aerin, Seth's girlfriend. That surprised me.

"And we waited. And they, um, called us into an office and said that they lost the plane's signal over an hour before the scheduled landing. So they thought the plane landed somewhere else, maybe because of weather. But it didn't," Kirsten was crying hard. My heart sunk. This wasn't the story I was prepared for. "Um, Sandy, can you finish it? I can't do it," Kirsten got up and walked back.

"Yeah. Um, they searched for the plane," I really wasn't ready for this. "But, uh, they couldn't find it at any other airports. They searched for a while for the plane. But about six days ago, the airport and everyone, um, stopped," I was stunned. "They stopped looking for the plane, and they had a memorial service two days ago."

Seth was gone. He was dead, and never coming back. This was a perfect way to wake up after six weeks. Lovely.

I caused Seth to die.

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A little bit later, everyone left me alone, even though I didn't really want them to. It had gotten late, and I was still dealing with everything.

Seth was dead. He was gone. No chance of coming back. What were the last words I said to him? Directly, something about me and Summer. And he hadn't been happy.  
He hadn't said goodbye.

I never got to say goodbye to him. I always thought I'd see him again, at some point in our lives. But now, that was gone, and so was he.

I laid back down on the uncomfortable hospital bed. This was insane. Newport had managed to get more messed up. Was that even possible? Chino wasn't even this messed up. Chino didn't have comatose people, and plane crashes. Newport certainly did.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" I could hear Summer talking. Great, they were talking about me, thinking I was asleep. I had told them I would do that.

"I don't know. Seth was his brother, and..." Kirsten didn't finish. She didn't need to. Everyone knew I would be taking this hard. I lost two brothers in two years. A new record.

"Ryan's strong. He's not gonna like, run away, like Seth did. Right?" No, I wouldn't run away. I couldn't run away. Where would I run? Seth certainly found a good place. Sydney, where he could start a new life, and forget about us. And when he did remember, he died.

"I hope not," I felt so out of it, alone in this dark hospital room. Everyone was talking about me, and I was supposed to sleep, which I couldn't do, and I had to hear about my brother's death.

I was looking out at the block of light when I saw someone disturb it. I quickly closed my eyes, and waited for the person to come in.

"Ryan, are you sleeping?" Summer. The person I would talk to. I couldn't say anything to Kirsten and Sandy, I just couldn't.

"No," I opened my eyes, and sat up. She flashed a quick smile and sat on the bed.

"Good. How are you feeling?" Summer tried to look happy.

"I'm fine. Do you when I'm getting out of here?" I wanted out. I didn't know where really I wanted to be, I just didn't want to be here.

"Two days," I was hoping for tomorrow, but I figured that would be impossible.

"Crap," I muttered under my breath, and Summer was looking at me confused. I didn't want to say anything else, but I didn't want to be left alone.

"I can get some newspapers and stuff if you want to read them," Summer offered.

"Sure. Whatever," I don't really remember much of what happened the rest of the night, and the next day for that matter, my head was so full of new things. I had to get back on track. Losing six weeks of your life, and trying to pick up the pieces was hard. Kirsten and Sandy were by me almost every second, and they said how much they missed me, and everything. But my head was too stuck on Seth, and how he was dead.

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I didn't talk much to anyone since waking up, except Summer. It was my second day of being awake, and I was still getting used to everything.

Summer walked into the room, being slowed down by a huge pile of magazines. My first urge was to help her, but I really couldn't do anything. I wasn't allowed out of bed and I was incredibly weak.

She dropped all the magazines and newspapers on the bottom of my head, and I saw that she was exhausted.

"There," She seemed satisfied, even thought some of the magazines were falling off the other side. She quickly saw that and pushed a string of hair back behind her ear and began to pick up the magazines.

"What are those?" I asked her, afraid to know what she was doing with them. There were weekly magazines, and fashion ones, along with a few newspapers.

"These are to help you figure out what you missed during your extended sleep," I could tell Summer was in a much better mood. It had to have been hard while I was in the coma. For everyone. I mean, Seth was gone, and I almost was.

"So I also need to know what's popular in fashion?" I noticed that I sounded as though I was in a better mood. Summer did that. She made me smile, which I rarely did.

"No. Those are for me. I figured while you read all the newspapers and stuff like that, I should read too. Plus, I am so behind on reading. I mean, I took magazines here to read, but all I could do was stare at you, so that really didn't help," Sometimes I wondered how I had hooked up with Summer. I mean, she was very different from all the other people I dated. What was that, three? I had been with a ton of people, but I never cared about them and dated them. Marissa was just...too much, and Lindsay was too different sometimes. Theresa was gone, I hadn't seen her in about a year. Summer made jokes that I could laugh too.

"Thanks," I smiled at her and she pulled a chair close to me. I sat up and looked through the enormous pile of magazines. I was mostly interested in the newspapers. "Good thing you brought these. I can't wait to read how Johnny Depp spends his life," I told her sarcastically. I didn't know what had come over me, I was just all of a sudden happy.

"Well, I did. And the stepmonster. She's a big fan of him. Especially in Ed Wood," Summer kept going along with the joke. She looked so much better from yesterday. That was when I saw her broken arm. I really hadn't noticed it before. And when I looked up at her face, I saw the scar. It was directly above her right eye.

"When do you get the cast off?" She seemed a little surprised when I asked her. Right. I was thinking all that in my head, not saying it out loud. She had no clue what I was thinking about. I hated doing that.

"Um, in a few days. It's taken a while to heal. It broke in like, five places. I'm so sick of this damn cast," she commented, trying to keep up the same upbeatness she had seconds ago. I could tell she had her head in a different place now. The accident.

"That's good," I didn't know what else to say. I was at a loss for words. Like that was uncommon.

"You seem in a much better mood than yesterday. How do you feel?" That was a tough question. My head was so swarmed with thoughts, I couldn't think that straight.

"I guess I'm okay. I mean, nothing bothers me. Except the obvious really," I commented to her as I picked up a newspaper. It was from three weeks ago.

"Well, you'll deal. I did. And I mean, yeah. You're like, super strong, and not very emotional. I, on the other hand, am a wuss. A cry baby," Summer told me. She didn't quite know how to describe what she wanted to say.

"So how did you deal?" I asked her. I didn't know how to react to all of this. I mean, I lost six weeks of my life and my brother was dead. How was I supposed to react?

"I broke down...and came here...And told you everything. Like, that I killed Seth. Do you remember any of that?" Summer bit her lip.

"Not really," I did have a vague recollection of something like that happened. Hearing her crying, that's what I remembered. But nothing else. Everything was jumbled in my head.

"Good," She commented and I looked at her, perplexed. She smiled at me and picked up one of her magazines. "Oh, right. Um, I have, like three of the same newspaper, the one with the plane memorial, and I got one for you. You only missed it by like four days. I have a few newspapers from when it first happened, and like one every week after that. You can keep whatever you want," Summer told me.

"It's fine. Kirsten and Sandy will have some of them too," I told her and she looked back at the pile of magazines. I pushed the old newspapers away. I grabbed the one I saw three of and picked it up. In big letters, it had 'In Memoriam,' and it went on to describe the flight. The next page started the small bios. All it said was how old the people were at the time of the crash, and a bit about them, like where they lived. It was alphabetical, so I looked up Cohen.

And there he was. The dead Seth was staring at me, smiling. It was his high school photo, for graduation. He would've graduated in two weeks when he left. He didn't care anymore. He left hating me, Summer, his parents, everyone in Newport.

And we never heard directly from him again.

I looked around at the people above and below him. Boone Carlisle, Michael Dawson. Those people had lives before this, and now, they were dead. Seth had joined the other 174 people in heaven.

I didn't notice Summer was looking over me, Seth's picture had me enwrapped. I would never see my brother again. Seth was a much better brother than Trey had ever been. Seth cared, Trey just tried to be cool. But Trey did give me one thing I couldn't ask for more. A second chance.

What chance was I at now? Three, four? I think it's three.

"You okay?" Summer finally asked me, and I jumped. I was so into my thoughts, I forgot where I was.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking," I told her. I still was getting used to the idea of Seth being dead. I missed the memorial, and I never got to say goodbye. He never said goodbye either.

Summer didn't press me any harder, which I was glad about, and I began to read the main article for the memoriam. It said something of a memorial being put up at LAX. I wanted to see it. I wanted to say goodbye. Even though the idea was gruesome, I wanted to do it. I had to say goodbye.

Summer just read her magazines as I looked sadly at the articles. Everyone of them said that the plane was gone, everyone was dead. Everyone had lost hope. No one was hoping for a miracle. So why should I?

"I'm gonna go see when I can get out," I don't know what caused it, but I had the sudden urge to leave. Badly. The hospital was bothering me.

"Um, Ryan, I don't think you should. You're weak," Summer tried to argue me. I ignored her and eased myself off the bed. Okay, almost falling. But only once. Just once. That was better than twice.  
Summer helped me up, and I felt more like an invalid than ever. I couldn't even walk without help.

That was freaking pathetic.

"Summer, I'll be fine. I just lost my balance. I can walk," I reassured her, and I looked over. She didn't seem so sure.

"I guess. But how about I walk next to you? You know, just in case," Summer offered. I knew I wouldn't be able to get away from her.

"Fine," I gave in and I saw her smile. She helped me to the nurses' station. "I need to speak to my doctor. I want out," I complained to the nurse.

"Um...sure. What's your name?" She seemed a little taken aback from me. Yeah, I was demanding stuff. But I had been in a coma for six weeks. And my brother died. I wasn't in the best mood.

"Ryan Atwood," I decided to be nicer to her, since the nurse did seem like a good person. But I really wanted out of this hospital. I wanted to be in the real world. Maybe not the real world, but one close to it.

Seth was dead. That thought kept coming up to me. I couldn't get used to it. Obviously everyone else had. I mean, Seth wasn't coming back. And why not? Because of me. I made him leave, and the accident made him want to come back. It was my fault Seth was dead.

The nurse left me and Summer, and I leaned on the desk. I was tired. I didn't quite understand why though, since I had been sleeping for over a month. Summer didn't say a word to me. I must've been freaking her out, since I just randomly decided to get up and leave.

We stood there in silence, with her right by my side. I couldn't believe I had Summer. This was why Seth had obsessed with her.

And yet, now I understood why Seth had been so angry. Before, I just knew that Seth was friends with Summer. I didn't understand that he still liked her. Loved her, maybe. But I got her and we both kind of killed Seth.

The nurse finally came back after a few moments, with my doctor. I had only seen him a few times, like when I first woke up, and when I went to get tested earlier this morning. It was still early.

"Ryan, you're up. Standing, I mean. Are you all right? Do you need to sit down?" My doctor immediately asked.

"No," I lied. I really did need to sit down soon. My legs were killing me. They were so weak.

"Then what's up?" I hated doctors that tried to be your friend, and thinking that they're on your side. They weren't. They were doctors to most people. Nothing else. I mean, sure, I wasn't being nice. But I had bad interactions with doctors. They always seemed to be my friend around other people, and then, when we got alone, he yelled at me. Doctors, dentists and the like around me were not a good combination.

"I want to know when I can leave," I was giving the guy a break. I didn't know why. Okay, yeah, he probably saved my life. That might be why.

"Um...I just got your tests back, and everything seems fine. I mean, you should stay, so you can regain your energy, but you can leave today if you'd like," Finally, a doctor told me something I wanted to hear.

"Great. I'll call the Cohens," I still didn't call them my parents. Did I think of them as my parents? They were like parents to me, more than my own were. But it felt so weird saying that. When I said, 'my parents' I associated it with my drunken mother and my father in jail. "Thanks," I managed to say as I pulled Summer away.

We got into the hospital room and I dialed the numbers of the Cohens' on Summer's cell phone. She still hadn't said anything, but I didn't think about it.

A half an hour later, we were still waiting for the Cohens.

"Where are they?" I was getting impatient.

"Calm down Ryan. They'll be here. Just cool. Why do you have to get out of here so soon?" Summer was sitting with me.

"I just hate hospitals," I commented her, looking down the way to the elevator.

"I noticed. But Ryan, are you sure you're ready to leave? You did almost fall earlier," Summer warned. I didn't care. I could see Kirsten and Sandy walking closer.

"So, kid. You ready to go home?" Sandy asked me. Oh God yes I was. I wanted to go home so badly.

"Yeah," I began to walk out with Kirsten and Summer while Sandy filled some of the papers out. I could tell Kirsten had been crying again, her face was red.

Me and Summer parted ways once we got to the parking lot. I went with the Cohens, and she went home. I had half of the books. She had all the fashion ones.

We drove back to the Cohens, and when I walked in, I saw that nothing had changed. At least that was one thing the same.

"He left us two messages. Seth did. Do you want to listen to them?" Kirsten asked me. I didn't know how to react. He had called, that was good.

"I guess," I followed Kirsten and Sandy to the kitchen where Kirsten played the messages. There were only two on it.

"Mom… Dad… its Seth… what the hell is going on? What happened to Ryan? I'm sorry that I left, but Ryan is just Ryan… I don't know what I'll do if he died. Uh… call me back, correction. I'll call you back. I'm getting a plane home…" I couldn't believe it. Seth was speaking; he had come home for me. This was too much.

"And… and… there is someone else coming too… just I hope you can forgive me. And I really hope that Ryan is not dead, but it sure as hell sounds like it. I'll talk to you later then…" The first message ended. I didn't know really how to react to hearing my dead brother's voice on the answering machine.

"There's another one," I hadn't expected there to be a second one. I still couldn't believe Seth was gone.

"Mom… dad… I'm coming home. I'm on Oceanic Flight 815… I'll be home by… well I'm not very good with time zones, but I'll be home soon. Please forgive me…" I still had no clue how to react. I looked up at Kirsten and Sandy, and found Sandy holding Kirsten, who was crying. Why couldn't I have emotions?

These messages really made me think. I had lost my brother. Seth was gone. Forever. He wasn't going to come back. I couldn't help him come back like last time.

I didn't say a word to Kirsten and Sandy as I stepped out of the house and went into the pool house. I fell on the bed in confusion. This was so much more comfortable than the one in the damn hospital.  
I looked around the pool house. Summer had left some things in there, and I sat up to look at the few newspapers.

I didn't go eat, I was just staring at the newspapers. Ideas were formulating in my head, bit two things stopped me. First, Kirsten and Sandy were not going to let me leave. Last time I left, I didn't come back. Neither did Seth. And second, I was still freaked out by driving cars. I could barely be in one. The accident kept coming in my head. At least when you're a passenger, you can close your eyes.

But I had to do something now. Say goodbye.

I couldn't understand why I was so adamant about it. I didn't really want to let go of my brother, I had to. Seth was gone. And it would torment me. Kirsten told me that they didn't set up a gravestone, but it was growing in her mind. She still hoped Seth was alive, but her hope was falling fast.

He might still be alive, I don't know, but if he was, did we expect he'd make it back to Newport? They couldn't find the plane, where the hell was it? The more we kept hope in our minds, the more we were hurt by it.

It was getting really late, and Kirsten and Sandy had just gone to sleep. I was gonna say goodbye finally.

I grabbed the phone and dialed Summer's number. I checked the clock. It was 1:45.

"Hello?" Summer answered drowsily, and I was glad to hear her voice.

"Hey," I greeted her.

"Ryan?" She started, "What's up?"

"Can you come over? I was thinking we could go somewhere," I proposed the idea to her.

"Like?" She didn't sound convinced. Damn.

"LAX," I probably sounded crazy to her. I think I was.

"Ryan, why now? It's...two in the morning. Way too early. Why do you have to go now?" Summer kept asking questions. Why couldn't she just agree?

"This is the only time I can got out. Plus, I can't really drive," I told her. She didn't answer right away.

"Fine," She agreed.

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A/n: Ali is such a better writer than I am!

alexis - Haha! Okay, for those of you who wanted to know… the 24 reference was the "every nerve ending in your body on fire" line and in the flashbacks… STEVE JENKINS!

Keks - xD… Seth… edge of death… hmmmm…

The Pirate Illusionist - CRAPOLA! I meant it was on Thursdays at 8… I am so used to people asking me when Lost was on… haha… sorry.

Harper's Pixie - In Chapter 11… Charlie, the very end… or Chapter 10, because he believed what Ethan had said about "The plan" and whatnot. Everything happens for a reason. It was Ethan's plan for just in case he survived that he would have heard that… but thanks!


	18. As Dead As Seth

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie… Yellowcard owns the lyrics to "View From Heaven." Damn, what do I own?

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Yay! I can finally write this part. I've changed the plot line for this so much, but this and Seth actually getting kidnapped are the only parts that have basically stayed the same through the whole thing! Hope you like it. Sorry if the last few chapters haven't been up to snuff. I've been sick, so I can't really concentrate, but I have to let the ideas out…

Sorry if this ends up being really long. I've been waiting to write this for like… ever.

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"**As Dead as Seth"**

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"_I understood very well that people would forget me when I was dead. They wouldn't have anything more to do with me."_

_"The Stranger"_ by Albert Camus

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Claire was gone.

At first it hit me as a bit of a surprise. I didn't think she was going to do it. Slowly, everything faded as exhaustion took over me.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

When my eyes reopened, I wasn't in the stupid little… thing. I was in the room again. This time, I wasn't secured to anything. I was just lying on the ground. It was cold. I let out a big burst of air.

That wasn't the best idea. Ethan helped me up, gently. That was an odd change. I looked right at him. He looked right at me. He knew. I could just tell.

"Where is she?" he asked coolly, calmly. I was still a bit shocked. He had never been nice to me. Ever.

I didn't answer him.

He got angry. "Where is she?" he asked again, this time not as coolly, starting to loose it.

"Don't know…" I said simply. I knew that he would find out sooner or later that I had convinced her to run… but he didn't need to know that.

"Don't lie to me boy," he said angrily, pulling a knife out of his pocket. He flicked it open (it was a pocket knife) and pointed it directly at me. "I am giving you one last chance, where is Claire?"

"I don't know…" I said, as clearly as possible. It wasn't a total lie. I knew where she was going, I didn't exactly know where she was. As long as she wasn't here. And it was obvious by Ethan's reactions that she wasn't.

If it was at all possible I saw more anger appear in his eyes as he walked closer and closer to me. "Seth, all I'm asking is if you know anything about where Claire may be…" he said, attempting to sound calm. I knew better.

I shrugged and shook my head, trying to hide the nervousness and fear that was running through my body. "I really don't know…"

Just by the look on the man's face, I knew that there was no way in hell he believed me. "You did it, didn't you?" he asked me, now right up in my face. It wasn't at all comfortable. "That was why you stood up for her. Because you had a plan to help her escape."

Ethan was quite intimidating when he was mere centimeters from your face. I swallowed and without being able to stop myself, I nodded.

"You stupid piece of shit… I can't believe you would come up with something like that. Maybe you're not as useless as I originally thought," he said, a malice filled smile forming across his face. He slowly backed away and went over towards something. I couldn't see through his back, so I didn't know what exactly he was doing.

My mind was spinning. He turned around and walked back over towards me and slowly patted me on the back. "Too bad you ended up being a softy Cohen," he said simply. My eyes were locked on him, I didn't even know what he was going to do to me.

"You're pretty smart. I truly could have used your help on some of my little escapades. Too bad," that was when I felt a prick on my arm. I looked down and saw the syringe sticking out of my arm, totally empty.

Shit.

"What… what did you do to me?" I asked, starting to feel drowsy almost immediately.

"Oh don't worry Seth. It won't kill you. I just need a bargaining chip, you know. Claire. She's an important girl." I looked at him, his face filled with malice. I wanted to hurt him. But I couldn't.

My legs fell out from underneath me as I fell down to the ground. I was so tired. My head felt light. It would have been a nice feeling if it weren't for the fact that he was probably going to kill me.

Everything was going blurry, but I saw Ethan laugh (I couldn't hear him) and nod in my direction. I was terrified.

Oh well. It was bound to happen sooner or later. No one was going to miss Seth Cohen. I was as good as dead in everyone's eyes.

Then. I remembered no more as my world turned to black.

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

What had happened? Once again, I found myself not remembering what had just happened. I remembered Ethan and his malice filled face, but that was it…

It was only then that I realized that I wasn't where I was supposed to be. This definitely wasn't some deserted island. There was a paved road, and I was standing on it. I looked at my arms, there were no scars. I didn't feel any pain, any fatigue, I didn't feel anything. I felt like good old Seth Cohen again. The Seth Cohen before the crash. The happy Seth Cohen.

Little did I realize…

Slowly I began to figure out where I was. There was Marissa's old house, and then… my house. It was empty, dark. My house was never empty. Or dark. Even though it was dark out, there was always a light on in the house somewhere.

Quietly, I walked up to the house. It was just like I remembered it. Nothing had changed, except for the fact that no one was there. There were no cars in the drive way. Nothing. It was an eerie feeling.

Not knowing what else to do, I walked up to the door, knowing that it was locked, but I was going to push my luck anyways. Oddly enough, the door was unlocked, so I opened the door, waiting for the security system to go off, but it never did.

"Mom… dad?" I called out. I got nothing back except my voice echoing through the empty house. I never thought I was going to see it again. I walked around. It was all the same. Every little aspect. There was even some Capt'n Crunch in the cupboard as well as some bagels. Some things never changed. The thought made me laugh.

I shoved a handful of the cereal into my mouth. I missed that a lot. The crunchiness of the cereal in my mouth was a welcomed comfort. It brought a smile to my face.

Walking through the house some more, the one thing I did realize was that all the pictures of me or Ryan were gone. There were none to be seen, it kinda freaked me out a bit. Slowly, I walked up the steps, making sure to skip the creaky one and walked into my room.

Talk about stepping into a time portal. It was all the same. Nothing, and I mean nothing had changed at all. The sheets were still the same as when I left. Captain Oats was in the same position, even the clock hadn't gone dead yet. I sat down on my bed and picked up Captain Oats.

"Hey old buddy," I said, still laughing. It was odd, but I missed the plastic horse. It was much different telling all my secrets to a coconut, they didn't talk back. I chuckled again and picked up my iPod, I couldn't believe that I left it at home. I nearly died without it.

I put the ear buds in my ears and turned it on. It powered up, same as usual, even the songs were the same as before. The tunes of Death Cab for Cutie and Modest Mouse hit my ears. I sighed and fell back on my bed (which I missed dearly on the island), allowing the music to take over me.

But that got old quick. I must have gotten so used to not having it, that now having it was just too strange.

I felt a shiver run through my body that I couldn't explain. I didn't know where it came from. Why it happened. It just did. Then I heard someone pulling into my driveway and sped over to the window to see dad's car. Where was the Range Rover? Then it hit me… Ryan… dead… car crash?

Quickly, I rushed down the steps. I missed mom and dad so much.

Suddenly, I felt my feel fall out from under me, and I tumbled down. Down, down, down.

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

Ow. That hurt. But oddly, I got up like nothing was wrong at all. It was all very very confusing. I walked over to the door. Mom and dad didn't come in yet. I wondered why? Normally as soon as they came in the driveway, they were in the house.

I blinked a few times. Something was wrong here. I heard car doors slam. That took a while. A little too long if you asked me. I heard the key turn in the lock.

Odd. When I came in the door was unlocked, and I didn't relock it. I just added it to the list of things that made absolutely no sense at all. The door opened, and I wasn't ready for the sight that met me.

"Mom… dad?" I asked. Obviously they didn't hear me, but I wanted to comfort them so bad. Dad looked as if he had just lost all reason to live, and mom… Mom's mascara was running, and she… well she looked like shit. There was nothing in her eyes. Dead space. Emptiness.

I followed them as dad lead mom into the kitchen and with a shaky hand got out some wine and two wine glasses. Way to get drunk. Then I realized that something really horrible must have happened. I had never seen mom that way. Mom was always the strong one, the one who was calm all the time, the one who was there whenever I needed her.

She put her head on the countertop and began sobbing loudly. Oh yeah, something did happen. Something really bad must have happened.

"We're gonna get through this Kirsten," I heard my dad say, but his face and voice didn't match the words that were coming out of his mouth.

She shook her head and sobbed in her arms some more. Dad finished pouring the wine and set one glass in front of mom and the other was in his hand. He drank some of his while mom ignored that it was even there.

He wrapped his arm around her and she leaned on him, and her sobbing stopped. "See honey, you're doing better already."

She shook her head. "They're both gone. Both of our sons are dead, and you expect me to be okay with that?"

Excuse me? What did she mean we were both dead? I sure as hell wasn't dead, I was standing right there. I walked over to her and she cried more. "Why? Why Sandy? One month. One month and they both died. Car crash, plane crash… it doesn't matter, all that matters is that they're dead. They're gone. THEY'RE NOT COMING BACK SANDY!"

She almost had me break down. How could she say that? I tried to comfort her, but she obviously didn't feel it. This was all so confusing.

"I know Kirsten," I heard my dad say, before everything went black once more and I felt myself being pulled away.

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

My eyes didn't close, but everything was black. I felt myself free falling. Free falling and spinning.

When the darkness cleared and everything was done, I looked around and found myself in a graveyard. One I had not seen in quite a long time. At least not since grandma died. I didn't like cemeteries. They were, just weird.

I wondered what exactly I was doing there, until I looked over towards my left and spotted two seemingly fresh mounds of dirt. One was newer than the other, I could tell just by the color of the dirt, but the thought made my stomach turn as I walked over and looked at who the two matching tombstones belonged too.

I felt sick as I read the first one, but it wasn't as if I wasn't expecting it.

**Ryan Martin Atwood**

**December 13, 1987 - August 15, 2005**

It just put closure on the whole "Ryan was dead" situation. He really was dead. But that wasn't the scary thing. As I read the second one, I felt my feet fall out from underneath me. This wasn't happening. It was too scary.

Mom was right. I felt like puking, but I had nothing in my stomach, so therefore, I couldn't. I touched the cold rock, outlining the name with my fingers. The issue was what was happening right now was impossible. It never could have happened under any normal circumstances.

I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

**Seth Ezekiel Cohen**

**September 22, 1987 - September 22, 2005**

I was dead, wasn't I? At least to them I was dead. I knew for a fact that I wasn't dead. Unless Ethan had killed me with whatever he had done to me. Maybe the rescue boat came, and I wasn't there, so they presumed that I was dead.

A horrible feeling came up in the pit of my stomach. But when I looked at the date, I knew it wasn't possible. That was my birthday. I didn't die on my birthday; I knew that for a fact.

Then, I wasn't alone. I could hear someone coming behind me and I turned around and saw Aerin. "Oh God, Aerin, are you a sight for sore eyes," but she didn't hear me. No one could hear me. No one could see me. I was dead. I had to keep reminding myself of that.

Aerin was still as beautiful as ever, her blonde hair was a bit longer than I remembered, and it blew in the breeze. Her blue eyes were sparkling, but not with curiosity. Now they had tears in them.

She fell down to her knees right in front of the mound of dirt that was my grave. How could they bury me without my body?

The tears fell down her face as she talked to the wind. I knew I didn't want to hear what she had to say, but something forced me to stay.

It was only then that I realized that she had my iPod. How in the world was this possible? None of this was making any sense at all. I had just listened to my iPod no more than a few minutes ago, and now Aerin had it.

I crawled over to her. She had a pair of headphones (they weren't mine) around her neck. I didn't recognize the song at first:

"_Sometimes I still just can't believe you're gone._

_And I'm sure the view from heaven_

_Beats the hell out of my here_

_But if we all believe in heaven_

_Maybe we'll make it through one more year_

_Down here."_

Yellowcard. Summer liked them. That was why that song was on there. I never really listened to it, but now my mind was more focused on Aerin. She was sobbing.

"Damn it Seth. Why? I hate you. You left me. You left me here. You lied to me. And I trusted you."

I felt like crying myself. Aerin. I may have only known her for two months, but I really liked her. More than Summer, more than Anna, more than Alex… more than all three of them combined. The more time I spent with her, the more and more I thought that she was the one.

Not anymore. I was dead.

There was some silence. More sobs racked the poor girl's body. I wish there was something I could do to help her. Something that I could have done. But there wasn't.

"I know there's still a chance that you're still alive Seth, but the chances are so slim. They're almost not there. Maybe they're just a figment of my imagination…"

"Don't say that!" I blurted out angrily. She stopped and looked around. Maybe she could hear me.

"Seth?" she whispered in disbelief. I could hear the song blasting through the headphone speakers:

"_I hope that all is well in heaven_

'_Cause it's all shot to hell down here_

_I hope that I find you in heaven_

'_Cause I'm so lost without you down here._

_You won't be coming back_

_And I didn't get to say goodbye_

_I really wish I got to say goodbye…"_

The song ended and all that could be heard was Aerin breathing heavily and the breeze blowing.

"Seth?" she asked again.

"Aerin," I said quietly, crawling closer to her (seeing as I was still on the ground).

She put a hand up to her mouth as tears began to fall. "I can hear you Seth. I just can't see you." As soon as I made my way over to her, I put my arm around her. I missed her so much. I could feel all her muscles tense.

"I can feel you Seth. Are you… are you a ghost?" she asked quietly.

I didn't know what to respond to that. Everything felt right, everything felt at peace. I knew that she was the one that I was destined to live the rest of my life with. But obviously, I was dead. I couldn't. I could feel the tears falling down my face as my grip on her tightened.

I never wanted to let go.

"I don't know," I said slowly. I knew this couldn't have been real, but I missed Aerin so much. And her being there. I never wanted it to end.

"I miss you Seth. I miss you a lot. I… I should have told you to wait, and not go on that stupid plane," she said, now sobbing again. I looked at her. She looked so different when she was crying. She looked weak, vulnerable. So un-Aerin-like.

I felt myself getting pulled away from her. I missed Aerin so much. I didn't want to leave. But obviously, it wasn't my choice.

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

The next thing I knew I was in Summer's room. I knew it well. I had been in there so many times. Back when her and I were dating, or not dating, or… whatever it was that had actually gone on while she had been dating Zack.

She was sitting alone, on her bed. Looking at a newspaper. I walked over towards her and read the newspaper headline:

"**_Touching Memorial for Crash Victims"_**

Summer was just staring blankly at the page. There was nothing going on in her mind. I could see it. I looked at the date on the paper.

September 23, 2005. Was that what day it was? I was so lost. I began to read the article:

"_We all will remember the many people on Oceanic Flight 815 that departed from Australia on August 15th heading towards Los Angeles. As it was reported in past issues, the search for the plane lasted for four weeks before it was ended. _

_There was nothing heard at all from the plane after in mysteriously disappeared. The devices on the plane had been decided faulty, only making it harder and harder to find the whereabouts of the wreckage and any survivors that there may have been. There were 175 people on the plane. All have been presumed dead."_

After that point I stopped reading. This wasn't really happening. It was all coming in so fast. It was so much to take in in such a short amount of time. I looked at Summer who now had her attention turned on the television. When had it turned on? I held back the urge to chuckle when I heard a voice-over on it say… "Last week on 'The Valley…'" Then Summer turned it off.

I was shocked. She never ever would miss an episode of 'The Valley'. Ever. My eyes went from the now black TV screen to Summer. Back and forth.

A few sobs came out of her. Then I realized. Oh God.

As much as I hated her, I couldn't help but pity her. Ryan was dead. I was dead. That must have been a lot to handle. She sniffled quite a few times and moved the newspaper article to the side, revealing the black book.

The one that had all of the drawings that I had drawn of her while in Portland. I had forgotten that I had given that to her.

Slowly, Summer opened it and paged through it. There weren't many pictures in there, but she stopped at each one and just looked at it. Then she came to a blank page.

She pushed the book off the bed and turned around, burying her head in the pillow. I could hear the muffled sobs. Her world had turned to hell. While I didn't know what she was going through, I could just imagine it. Maybe I wasn't her boyfriend, but I sure as hell was a good friend. And Ryan was her boyfriend. And we were both gone.

But what about Zack?

Zack was soon forgotten as she reached towards her bed stand, and opened the drawer, pulling out a knife. Holy shit. Summer. Don't.

I went to shout out as she just looked at it. She wasn't. She couldn't. But I could see the look in her eyes.

"SUMMER, DON'T!" I shouted. She was taken off guard and dropped the knife. I felt myself being pulled back once again.

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. Whenever I tried to, all that entered my lungs was water. I began to panic.

The water was rough and choppy, that much I could feel. The water was circulating around me. As hard as I tried, I couldn't find the surface. I couldn't break the barrier between water and air.

My supply of oxygen was running out as I felt myself being pulled down, deeper and deeper.

I kicked more and more, trying to propel myself upwards. But the force was too strong. I was being pulled down into the murky depths of wherever I was. I was going to die.

Then it hit me. I was obviously already dead. How could I die again? Unless it meant that I wasn't really dead, and now I really was dying. If that was the case, there had to be something I could do.

But the force was too much as everything faded into darkness. Only I didn't feel myself being pulled this time. Just the oddly comforting black silence. That sure wasn't a good sign.

Then suddenly, without warning, I felt the sweetness of oxygen flowing through me again. I coughed a few times to get the water out of my system, until my eyes focused on the soaking wet person next to me.

I almost choked. I must have died. If I was alive, or even semi-alive then there was on way that this was even remotely possible. "Hey Seth," he said.

"Ryan?" I asked. I looked at him in utmost shock. He was the person who caused my rushed and un-thought out choice to go on the doomed flight. It was his death that caused all of it.

And I was looking at him. He sure as hell wasn't dead.

"Yeah…" Ryan said. I was still in shock. I blinked a few times as if to try to wake up. This was obviously a dream. But then it hit me. Ryan must have saved me from my watery grave. If you could have called it that. But… it was all… it didn't make any sense.

Lightning flashed from nowhere (it wasn't raining and the sky was so clear) and illuminated his face. For a second, it wasn't his face. The face looked so familiar, but I didn't know from where. Then when I focused on his face again, it was Ryan.

Confusing.

"Thanks man," I said, not really knowing what else to say. I wanted to break the awkward silence. But there was no doubt about it. It was awkward.

"It wasn't me," he responded without a beat passing between my words and his.

"What?" I asked, now even more confused than before. His words and his appearance said two different things.

"It wasn't me who saved you Seth… it was someone else."

"WHO?" I asked almost immediately.

Without saying a word, he shrugged. It didn't make any sense. No sense at all. He was soaking wet. Obviously he had done it. I took the brief moment to look around. I knew where I was. I was at the Pier. Somehow I must have gotten from Summer's room to the Pier and into the choppy, deadly water. I still didn't know or understand what the hell was going on.

"Who Ryan?" I asked again, running a hand through my wet hair. That was when I saw all these scars, all over my arm. Where had they come from? They weren't there a moment ago. I would have seen them. They just… appeared.

"Someone else…"

Gee, that was sooo helpful Ryan. Way to be specific. I felt like telling him that, but I didn't. I didn't push the subject any more.

We just sat there in silence. I was looking at him, he was looking at me. I still didn't believe it was him. He was dead. I was at his grave. Then again, it was my grave too, and I obviously wasn't dead. Or maybe I was. I didn't know what to think. Nothing made any sense at all. I was so lost and confused.

"I thought you were dead Ryan," I said, not being able to stop or control what was coming out of my mouth. That was a great conversation starter, wasn't it? I almost mentally slapped myself.

Ryan simply smiled. "I'm as dead as you are Seth…"

Suddenly, I felt myself being pulled away again. Shit! No! I was so close. So very very close. Talk about horrible timing.

Everything went black.

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

Now I knew I had been wrong. People did care. People did worry. I didn't realize how much of an impact I had on people's lives. Mom and Dad, Aerin, Summer… everyone else. It made me feel so selfish, so self-absorbed.

Now it was too late. I was dead. I just knew it. I realized way too late. Now I would never be able to right all the wrongs I had done.

A sudden bright light slowly met my eyes.

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

A/n: Okay, so for those of you who are really confused, August 15 was the day that Seth found out that Ryan had 'died'. And September 22 was his birthday (and now I learn it was the date of the crash on the real show… oh well). The two dates were the only ones that stuck out in his mind, and therefore, they were the dates on the tombstones because those were the ones he remembered the clearest.

As for other parts that may be confusing, don't worry. It wasn't supposed to make any sense really. I just wanted to write this so horribly. wink

alexis :D. Are you sure about that?

paige fan - Awesome! Another person that I got to watch the show. I guess it would be hard to see what the characters looked like, cause I can see it all playing in my head. More Seth stuff:D


	19. Jack, Where's Charlie : SIDEBAR

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie… Yellowcard owns the lyrics to "View From Heaven." Damn, what do I own?

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: This is gonna be fun! Another side-bar… this one I think will center on Sawyer, because he is soooo awesome!

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"**Jack, Where's Charlie?"**

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"_He said he's gonna kill Cohen if he don't get you back…"_

Charlie heard that loud and clear. It brought some suspicion to his mind. He knew that he couldn't trust Seth, but Ethan was going to kill him? It was probably all just some ploy to get Claire back. If Charlie knew one thing, he knew that he couldn't trust either of them.

He felt like bursting through the bush he was hiding behind and proclaiming that to both of them, but just listened to their conversation some more. Charlie knew it wasn't the right thing to do.

The other two were silent for some time. It was obvious that they both trusted Seth. Charlie couldn't understand why the two seemed so concerned. He could hear it in their voices, he could see it in their faces. He could sense it in their reactions.

Claire reached into her pocket and pulled out Seth's wallet.

"Where the hell did you get that?" Sawyer asked. I could hear the anger in his voice.

"I took it from him, okay?" Claire snapped. "I didn't believe him when he said that there was no one who would care if he died. He was unconscious, so I took it out of his pocket, simple as that."

Sawyer just looked at Claire some more. "What are you going on about?"

"Don't you get it?" she snapped. "That's the only reason I'm gone, the only reason that I'm here. He distracted them so I could get out. He said that… no one cared if he would die. I knew that was a lie. I saw the photographs. Sawyer. There's got to be something we can do…"

Silence. Charlie was confused. Seth was the reason Claire was back? The thoughts in his mind were conflicting with what was coming out of Claire's mouth. His eyes darted between Sawyer and Claire.

Sawyer snatched the wallet out of Claire's hands. He stopped and looked at the one picture. Then looked at Claire, then back at the picture. "Why the hell does he have a picture of _you_ in his wallet?" he asked. Charlie was shocked. Why was the kid carrying around a picture of Claire?

Claire snatched the wallet out of Sawyer's hands and looked at it. She looked at the picture in disbelief. It wasn't her, and she knew that, but it sure looked at her. Then she realized. It was her cousin. She may have been a lot older than her cousin, but the resemblance was uncanny.

Charlie wished he could have seen the photograph. But he couldn't from where he was hiding.

"That's not me Sawyer," she said simply, folding the wallet back up and putting it in her pocket so Sawyer couldn't get it back.

"Well it sure as hell looks like you sweetie," he said.

Claire chuckled. Charlie smiled. He hadn't heard her laugh in such a long time. "It's my cousin… Aerin." Everyone had always confused the two of them. Their mothers were identical twins, which might partially explain why they look so much like each other.

Sawyer was about to say something, when he heard something and stopped. Claire must have heard it too. They both looked around. They got identical looks on their face.

"We got to help him," Claire said quietly and quickly before rushing off.

Charlie didn't know what to do. He knew he should run back and get help from someone. But then he'd never be able to find them in time. He fingered the gun that he had stolen out of the Halliburton while Kate and Jack weren't looking.

Maybe… just maybe.

Without any second thought, he followed them, still keeping a distance.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

They walked through the jungle, not caring. Claire was getting tired. She shouldn't have been walking around like she was. But she felt as if she had to. She was leading Sawyer. Taking command. That confused Charlie and Sawyer.

The woman was persistent.

Charlie followed behind, not tired at all. His hand was now holding the gun. He just had a really bad feeling that something was going to happen, and he just wanted to be ready. He just wanted to be sure he could protect Claire if he had to.

He really liked her.

Suddenly, Claire just stopped. Sawyer nearly ran into her. Charlie stopped. He couldn't see anything.

But the sight that met Claire made her scream. Her scream caused Charlie and Sawyer both to flinch.

There standing right on a rock in the middle of a seemingly deep pool of water was Ethan. And right next to him, tied at the wrists, hanging from a branch over the water was Seth. His head hung down limply and he was blindfolded.

Charlie saw none of it.

Claire fought back the tears. It didn't even look like Seth was breathing. Her breathing became unsteady and she couldn't take her eyes off of him. He was just hanging there. Not even fighting. He couldn't be… Claire didn't even want to think about it.

Sawyer was the only one who took any action against Ethan. "Damn it you son of a bitch," he cursed angrily.

"I see you have the girl," Ethan said, totally ignoring Sawyer's cursing. "In exchange for Seth… is there anyone else?"

Claire was shocked. Sawyer really was as bad as everyone thought he was. "No…" he said quietly, realizing what an idiot he was.

Charlie was still there. He pulled the safety on the gun. This all still had to be some sort of set up. Some way. Somehow. He moved himself so that he could see everything that was going on. Claire, even from behind looked frightened. Sawyer's tough guy demeanor was failing as well. And Seth was just hanging there.

Sawyer stepped defensively in front of Claire. He knew that coming alone was a bad idea. But who knew what Ethan already did to him. He could be dead for all that Sawyer knew.

"Remember what I said?" Ethan asked. His tone was creepy, penetrating into Claire's skin giving her goose bumps. She never wanted to see his face again. She never wanted to hear his voice again. It was all too soon. The tears began to fall.

"I get Claire, Cohen isn't killed. Simple, isn't it?" He smiled.

Sawyer didn't know what to do. "I'm giving you five seconds to make a decision, or I may just kill both of you and take Claire anyways. So who is it going to be, Sawyer? Claire or Seth?"

He didn't know what to do. He could only give a shit about himself and hand Claire over. But there was the has-been. He would kill him if he ever found out. Then there was Seth…

"Five."

Shit. Damn. How the hell was he supposed to choose?

"Four."

Charlie got ready. He already knew what Sawyer was going to do. It was obvious. He cared more about the kid than anything else. It was a bit odd when he thought about it, but neither were very liked by the other castaways, they must have become friends or something.

"Three."

Claire's breathing was heavy. She was terrified. For her own life. For Seth's life. And it was all in Sawyer's hands. Unless she ran. And nothing good would come of that. Ethan could easily kill Seth (if he wasn't already dead) and Sawyer then come after her without batting an eye.

She was paralyzed with fear.

"Two."

Ethan pulled a knife out of his pocket and held it out toward the rope that was holding Seth between life and his watery grave just a few feet below. All he had to do was cut the rope. Seth was out. He made sure of it. Those weren't any ordinary drugs. He cut the rope, Seth was dead. No question.

"One."

Seth simply hung there by his wrists, not even aware that within the next few seconds his life could be over. That within the next few moments he would cease to exist at all. He seemed at peace.

"Too late…"

With that, Ethan quickly cut the rope with the sharp edge of his knife. A loud splash was heard as Seth fell into the water. A wave of bubbles issued from under the water.

Without a second though, Sawyer dove in, clothes and all, leaving Claire all alone with Ethan. Or so they all thought.

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As soon as Sawyer dove into the water to retrieve Seth, Ethan laughed. It was as if it was far too easy. He jumped from the rock easily onto the shore near Claire. He smiled. "Hello deary," he said with a smile, grabbing her arm tightly.

Tightly enough to bruise. Then out of nowhere Claire punched him, hard. She hated the man so much, and heaven knew she would take anything over going with him. Ethan laughed, and just tightened his grip. "You bastard," Claire cursed, now kicking him in the shins. A brief spasm of pain shot across his face, but there was no difference. Claire was doomed and she knew it.

The sound of a gunshot being fired hit everyone's ears. Ethan suddenly let go of Claire and looked at his arm in horror. He was bleeding quite profusely.

He ran.

Charlie ran over to Claire. He couldn't believe he had done that. He could have jut as easily shot Claire, but he didn't. He had saved her. Sawyer and Seth couldn't say that much.

Seth.

As soon as Ethan was gone Claire went running towards the water, but Charlie stopped her.

"No." He held her close. He could feel her trembling as she looked at the water. Some more bubbles came up. There was nothing she could do. Charlie was holding her so close, so tight. She fell into it and began sobbing.

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The water was freezing. But Sawyer didn't care. He could just make out Seth's form falling downwards. He couldn't believe that the water could be that deep. It didn't seem that deep from on the surface.

He was quickly running out of air. The cold water didn't help any. But he was so close. He couldn't stop now. A few final bubbles released themselves from his body, and the water was still.

Shit.

Sawyer pushed himself. Seth had hit the bottom, and it was dark. It sent dirt swirling around, so he couldn't see. The dirt got in his eyes, causing them to burn even more. But he had to get to Seth. He had to.

A lightheaded feeling came over him when he realized that he had to go up for air, but he wouldn't without Seth. The kid had been alive when he fell in, he could still be alive, if he was at all conscious.

He reached out, feeling around the floor of watery pit. He let the last of his carbon dioxide out and pushed himself to the limit until he finally felt a hand. It had to be Seth's. It wasn't cold. He grabbed them and pushed off the bottom, making sure he was propelling himself hard enough to get both of them up.

It seemed to take forever and ever. He could feel the urge to breathe come upon him. But he didn't. He could see the break between the water and the air. It was so close.

He broke it and took a deep breathe of air. He turned to look at Seth. It was Seth. He felt overjoyed. He quickly pulled him out of the water and onto the ground near where Charlie and Claire were standing.

Not bothering to catch his breath, Sawyer took the wet blindfold off of Seth. His head fell to the side.

"SHIT!" he cursed. It was then that he saw no steady rise and fall of his chest. He wasn't breathing.

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Sawyer looked up at Charlie and Claire, "Do either of you… you know to do CPR?" he asked quickly, still extremely out of breath since he had held his breath for so long.

Claire shook her head, and just looked at Seth. Fresh tears came to her face.

"_No buts. Get out. I don't think you understand that all I am is… well, I'm not important. Maybe you never noticed, but I'm the one that they hate. They could kill me at any time. It doesn't matter. You… people care about you Claire. No one cares about little old Seth Cohen, you know…"_

Charlie shook his head too. Even though he still held a deep disliking for Seth, he still wanted to take back thinking him dead, or even saying that he was going to kill the kid. He felt like shit.

"Damn it," Sawyer cursed. "Son of a bitch. Must I do everything?" With that he tried to help Seth. He had seen the doc do it plenty of times, or once. But same difference. If Jack could do it, he sure as hell could.

After breathing into Seth's mouth, he immediately began pumping his chest, or more like pounding on it because he had absolutely no clue what he was doing.

He paused for a moment. Nothing. He tried it again. Charlie and Claire just stood there. "Well, could one of ya at least do something a bit useful and go get someone?" he asked before trying to resuscitate Seth once more. He couldn't stand it if the kid would die.

But slowly, he was beginning to lose hope. Lose faith. He could still find a weak pulse (he wasn't sure if he was doing it right, but he sure as hell hoped it was). So Seth was still alive. But Sawyer couldn't help by feel that he hadn't gotten to him in time. He could have swam faster, and then he wouldn't be as dead.

As all this was going on, Charlie looked at Claire. "I'll… I'll go get Jack," he said quietly. Claire grabbed onto him and shook her head, not allowing Charlie to move any more than he already had.

"Ethan's still out there Charlie," she said almost as quietly as Charlie.

He didn't say anything to her, but she could see the look in her eyes. Her eyes went back over to Sawyer and Seth and she nodded, letting go of him. With that he ran off into the jungle the way that they had come. Claire just watched as he sped off, a feeling of worry and dread coming over her.

She continued to just look at the empty space that Charlie had run off into. She couldn't understand why she was having such a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Neither of them had noticed that the gun that Charlie had used to shoot Ethan was nowhere to be seen.

But she was quickly brought out of her daze when she heard a coughing. That sure as hell didn't sound like Sawyer. She heard Sawyer let out a sigh of, "Thank God." She turned quickly and Seth was coughing up water, but his eyes were still closed. Peacefully, almost serenely. If it wasn't for the fact that he had almost died, Claire would have thought that he was only sleeping.

The coughing stopped, and his body relaxed. She just looked at him for a bit. He looked even worse than when she had left. At first his breathing was ragged and Claire just knelt down next to him. She knew that there had to be something she could do to help him, but he had to fight this one out on his own.

Slowly, his breathing became steady.

Her eyes moved over to Sawyer. He was lying on his back, trying to catch his own breath. She could see why the man was so exhausted. Claire got tired just looking at him. She felt her arm where Ethan had grabbed her. The skin was still tender and was beginning to turn black and blue.

"Claire?" she heard someone say. She knew it was Sawyer.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"The whole jumping into the water thing, never happened. Okay?" he said. Claire was confused. Why would Sawyer ask something like that? Sawyer knew that he couldn't be considered going soft, what good would all the working to build up this reputation do him if he just blew it.

"Why?" Claire asked. "Are you afraid that people will actually see that you're not that bad of a person after all?" She asked.

Sawyer was silent. Claire had a point, and he knew it. It wouldn't really be that bad, would it.

Both of their eyes once again fell on Seth. He was so peaceful looking like he was simply asleep, except for the fact that he was soaking wet, and had bruises all over him. The look on his face was so… neither of them could explain it.

"The limey little runt went to get Jack then?" Sawyer asked, breaking the silence. It had nothing to do with Claire's last statement, but he felt the need to have a change of subject.

Claire laughed. "You're still at it aren't you?"

"What?"

"Never mind," Sawyer said, slowly getting to his feet. "Charlie went to go get Jack, but that don't mean we can't work our way back."

He picked up Seth as if he was nothing. And it was true. He was thin to begin with, but he hadn't eaten in a long time, and just being on the island with little food was bound to do something. But not even Sawyer was expecting him to be that light.

Claire got up off the ground. "I guess," she said quietly.

With that the three of them started working their way towards the caves.

Sawyer stopped along the wayto try to make a makeshift stretcher, because he was beginning to get tired, but failed and just said screw it before they continued on.

The entire way there was no sign of Charlie… or Ethan.

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They made it back to the caves and both of them were exhausted. Jack was the first person they ran into.

"Thank God you're okay Claire," he said sounding a bit upset. "We thought we could have lost you again."

Sawyer laughed from the background. He wasn't as wet as before, but he was still soaked. And Seth was slowly slipping from his grasp. He wasn't Superman. That was for sure. "Yeah, and I ain't worth the space I take up, am I doc?" he asked sarcastically. "I could use some help here, after you're done worrying about the one of us who isn't really hurt."

Claire wondered how long it would be before Sawyer went back to his old ways. Maybe it was just something about Jack. The two seemed to hate each other for some strange reason.

Jack's eyes went from Claire to Sawyer and Seth. "Seth?" he asked.

"No, just someone who happens to miraculously look like Seth," Sawyer said, rolling his eyes.

"What- how?" Jack asked, obviously confused.

"We don't have time Jack. Seth's hurt. He's not waking up either," Claire said, ending both of them. Sawyer still looked at Jack with immense hatred in his eyes, and Jack was too busy helping Sawyer move Seth over towards all the medical supplies.

Claire felt useless at the moment. She wondered why Charlie hadn't gotten Jack. He had run ahead, and he should at least have met them at the halfway point.

She went over to ask Jack about it, but he shooed her away. Jack was checking Seth out for any cuts, bruises, anything. She just sat down. Sawyer sat down near her.

Everything was silent as they watched Jack do his work.

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Slowly, it began to get dark. Claire was getting worried, she hadn't seen Charlie at all. Jack was still tending to Seth, who still had yet to wake up.

Sawyer had left a while ago, leaving her all alone. The bad feeling was slowly returning. Not caring anymore, she walked over to Jack.

"Jack, can I talk to you?" she asked.

He stopped what he was doing and turned around to look at Claire. He looked exhausted. "What is it Claire?"

"Have you seen Charlie at all?" she asked. She needed answers.

Jack shook his head. "No, why?"

Shit. Claire knew she shouldn't have let him go out on his own. "Jack, Charlie was going to come and get you. I would have thought he would have been here. But he's not."

A shocked look came across Jack's face. "Crap…"

"Jack, where's Charlie?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. But this isn't good."

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There was nothing we could do during the night. But the bad feeling just kept growing, and then the fact that Seth had yet to wake up and she was the only one that had been there. It was driving her nuts.

Claire stayed near Seth the whole night, not getting a wink of sleeping, hoping that maybe Charlie would come ambling in saying that he got lost.

Charlie never came.

The sun rose and Claire wanted to go out right away, but Jack wouldn't let her go. So she just stayed there, by Seth, hoping that he would wake up.

But it wasn't until late afternoon when he began to move. Claire couldn't stop the smile from appearing across her face. The sun was shining directly on his face. Jack kept telling her not to let him use his left arm, he thought it was broken. So she made sure that it was well protected in the makeshift sling that Jack had made him.

A painful groan came from Seth as his eyes slowly began flickering he was waking up.

And Claire had no clue where Jack was.

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A/n: This was a little on the long side, but I hope you liked it:D And the end isn't the greatest. I started going back into the land of first person. xD.

If anyone is still confused, just tell me in a review and I'll try to clear some things up for you. And I'd also like to add, for those of you who knew the original plot for this, the story got changed so much, it went back to the original plot. Ain't that funny? Haha.

Thanks to the reviewers. You know we luv all y'all!

alexis- All the Newport stuff from last chapter was in Seth's head. None of it actually happened, but he thought it did.

Pumpkin Muffin - you all are gonna hate me by the end of the next Seth chapter.

paige fan - Haha. I should have made that a bit clearer. Haha. The greatness of Dominic Monaghan. Adam Brody was on the View today instead of the cast of "Lost" it was a bit angering.

Harper's Pixie - Yeppers. And that isn't the end of it! I need to watch this week's Lost to get some ideas for my next part. Yayness for Ryan in the next chapter!


	20. Goodbye

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie… Yellowcard owns the lyrics to "View From Heaven." Damn, what do I own?

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Kim dedicates this chapter to the memory of Scott and Ethan, and "I'm sorry I kept calling you Steve…" and… at least it wasn't Steve. xD.

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"**Goodbye"**

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Summer parked the car in front of LAX. She hadn't said a word to me since she picked me up. Being in a car with her was a little weird. We both almost died the last time we were in a car together.

"Okay. So what the hell are we doing in here?" Summer didn't get it.

"We're saying goodbye," I had this planned for four days.

"Ryan..." Summer started, but I got out of the car. LAX, of course, was still open, but there weren't many people there. I walked around aimlessly, until I saw a worker.

"Where's the plane memorial?" I asked her and she directed me to it. I could hear Summer trying to keep up with me. Even though my legs were weak, I still got there fast.

And then I saw it. 175 faces stared back at me from a wall. I slowed down and walked over to it.

Before, I kept telling myself Seth wasn't coming back, and I didn't believe it. Reading it in the newspaper hadn't made it real wither. But seeing this, the magnitude of it, made it real. I just stared up at it, seeing all the happy faces. No one would ever see them again.

I saw Seth, next to the two guys I saw in the newspaper. Taos people had relatives on board. Seth had no one. He had someone, but he died alone.

Aerin was nice, I didn't really ever talk to her. I just saw her floating around every so often. She lost her boyfriend and was all alone. I didn't want to pity her, because I didn't pity a lot, but I did feel bad for her.

"Ryan," I heard Summer behind me. I looked back, and saw my girlfriend, the person who knew me best. I didn't even know myself anymore. "Is this what you wanted to see?"

"Yeah. I have to say goodbye," Seth was gone, I had to get used to it.

"There might be a chance he's still alive. You don't have to say goodbye," Summer tried to make me feel better. It wasn't working very well.

"Yes I do. Everyone else did. Seth is gone. And I gotta tell him," I told her. It probably would've been easier to say goodbye to a gravestone than a picture. It would be weird.

"No, you don't Ryan, he might not be gone. He could still be alive," Summer argued with me. No, I had to say goodbye.

"Summer, all of these people are gone. Every one of them," I yelled, looking back at the photos.

"Don't do this. You're freaking me out," Summer stared at me.

"How have I been freaking you out? I've done nothing. I just woke up from an accident that occurred more than a month ago, and I'm freaking you out. My brother is dead, the brother who I actually liked. You know, I would've been fine knowing Trey was dead, or even my mom, because they're not my family. The people I most care about are the Cohens and you. And now, Seth's gone, and I don't want to say goodbye, but he's gone and I have to," I explained.

"Don't say goodbye. I regretted doing it, because he is gone. Just don't lose hope, please?" Summer was really trying to stop me from doing this. I could feel myself slowly but surely breaking.

"There's not a lot of hope here anymore. Why shouldn't I give up?" I hated how Summer had that way with me. She was the only one who could just get to me with a look.

"Because, I don't know, I just feel like Seth is alive," Summer stared at me, and I did see a glint of hope in her eyes. The only other person I saw that in was Kirsten. Everyone had given up. Why couldn't I? I didn't want to torment myself thinking Seth could be alive. Five weeks, you couldn't survive alone for five weeks. Well, you could, but with nothing at all? Yeah, right.

"He isn't," I told her matter-of-factly. I wanted to let go, why wouldn't she let me do this?

"Fine Ryan, let go. I mean I did, but now, I don't think he is. He's out there somewhere," Summer, the optimistic. How had she changed me completely around? I came here to say goodbye, and now, I didn't want to. Damn her.

"I miss him," I gave in and Summer walked over closer.

"Everyone does. He has no clue how much he fucked us up. I mean, everyone is getting screwed up. But, you're back, and hey, that's good," Summer rested her head on my shoulder. Sometimes she bothered me. How could she change my whole attitude?

"Life's really sucking right now," I commented. We looked at the giant wall of photos.

"Not that bad. I mean, you're gonna be an uncle soon," Summer said to me. Wait, what? I looked over at her and saw she was hiding something. Uncle? Huh?

"What did you say?" I backed away and stared.

"Right, no one told you. Aerin's pregnant," Summer told me.

"Oh god," I said and walked over closer to the wall. Seth looked back at me, and wow, I wished I could say goodbye to him. Why did Summer have to pull the optimism on me?

"Yeah, I know. I found out at the memorial service after-thingy. I started talking to her about how she was gaining weight, and she told me..." Summer told me.

"Oh," I began to walk back to the wall far away from the memorial.

"Yeah," Summer followed.

I sat down and Summer sat down next to me. We looked at the wall.

We sat there for a bit, on the opposite wall, taking in all the pictures. We took in all their faces, wondering why they were on that plane. Every one of them probably had some amazing story, and now, they were just memories.

"Aerin wasn't on that plane," Summer commented and got up out of the blue. I got up and followed her.

We stared up at a picture of Aerin, but it wasn't Aerin. This person was different.

"Claire Littleton," I read off the tiny bio under the picture.

"They've got to be related. That's too uncanny. But now, I kinda feel worse for her. Someone she's related to _and_ her boyfriend were both on that plane. And she's having Cohen's kid. Poor girl," Summer and me stared at Claire.

We began taking in every person on the plane more extensively. Some people's pictures were of the person looking unhappy, maybe they knew their future. I doubted it. But most of the pictures were of the victims in happier times.

I looked at Seth's photo. It wasn't that old, but I bet that he had changed. He had been gone for two months. He changed during that time he first ran away. I had too when I was in Chino. If only we could see him again.

I tried to remember the last message I left Seth. I couldn't. Why the hell couldn't I? I remembered everything else.

"Weird...someone has your first name for a last name," Summer was now looking at the lower part of the wall.

"Huh?" I wasn't paying attention.

"See, look: there was a girl named Kate _Ryan_. Wow, she's pretty," Summer pointed to the picture.

"Sure," I found her okay-looking, but it didn't matter. My head was too crammed with nothingness to think.

"There's a lot of pretty people here. How the hell did Cohen get on that plane?" Summer joked. I laughed slightly and looked over to her. She smiled at me, and I to her.

All of a sudden, Summer's cell phone went off. Mine was in the pool house. Summer went into her purse and pulled out her phone.

"It's your parents," She told me. I was confused. My parents? My dad was in jail, and Dawn was...somewhere.

Summer saw my look of confusion. "The Cohens," she corrected herself.

"Oh," I knew this wouldn't be good. Summer handed me the phone. The ring tone was getting annoying, so I stopped stalling and answered it.

"Hello?" I answered, waiting to be yelled at.

"Ryan?" Kirsten's frantic voice screamed at me.

"Yeah," I turned away from Summer.

"Thank God. We have been worried sick about you for over an hour," I felt bad hearing Kirsten. I shouldn't have just run. I mean, Seth did that and he never came back.

"Well, I'm okay," I assured her. I didn't want her to worry, I was fine.

"Where are you?" Kirsten hadn't calmed down yet.

"LAX?" I knew she wouldn't like that answer and walked a bit farther away from Summer.

"What are you doing at LAX?" Kirsten grew more worried, but quieter.

"I'm not running away," I told her almost immediately.

"Well then, what are you doing there?"

"Me and Summer are just hanging out," I looked back at Summer and found her staring at the wall again.

"Why at LAX?" Kirsten continued.

"Well, we came because I wanted to say goodbye, but I couldn't do it," I answered, feeling depressed already.

"Oh," Kirsten didn't say much after that.

"We'll be back soon," I informed her.

"Okay. Well, be safe. I love you," I didn't answer. What did she say? I was confused, but I said it anyways.

"Love you too," Wow, that sounded incredibly strange.

"Bye," Kirsten hung up. I closed the phone and went over to Summer.

"Here," I handed her the phone.

"Thanks. So, is she pissed at you?" She put the phone in her bag.

"Sort of. Not as much when I told her we were at LAX. She thought we were running away," I looked blankly at the photos.

"Well, it does sound a little familiar. Going got rough, missing person, no phone, and at LAX? Yeah, I thought she'd be freaked out a lot more than you say," Summer commented.

"Yeah," Again, we stood there just looking at the wall. There were so many people on it. 175 people were dead.

"So… do you wanna go?" Summer looked over at me.

"Let's just stay here a little bit more."

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After we left, we drove to Summer's and slept. It was ten when I woke up. Somehow, I was still incredibly tired after being in a coma for six weeks.

Summer was up and about, so I called Kirsten and Sandy to tell them I was fine. They were a little mad at first, but understood.

Once I did that, Summer and I went to eat. It was eleven when we walked into the Cohens'.

It at first was quiet, and then I heard talking going on upstairs. I looked over at Summer before going up the stairs.

Sandy was leaning on the wall near the end, and I headed over. A shiver went up my spine when I went past Seth's room.

"What's up?" I asked once we got to Sandy.

"Well, Aerin found out that her cousin was also on the plane so she's headed back to Sydney. But Kirsten doesn't want her to go," Sandy explained.

"I knew it," Summer commented behind us. I knew what she was talking about, but Sandy didn't.

"We saw the memorial," I answered Sandy's confused look. "Aerin's cousin's name is Claire."

"Oh," Sandy said and we grew quiet.

"How are you going to get there?" We could hear Kirsten say. All of us stayed silent so that we could hear.

"I guess I'll have to take a plane. But I have to go. My parents are really worried about me. I have to," Aerin argued.

"What about the baby?" I started to wonder how long it was since they learned about the child. I mean, you couldn't tell Aerin was pregnant.

"It's still safe to go. My cousin, on the other hand, was incredibly stupid," Aerin told Kirsten. What? Was Claire pregnant?

"Even knowing..." Kirsten stood. I understood why she was uncertain. It'll probably be a good ten years before I go on a plane again. I hate heights and crashing was now closer to home and more real than ever.

"It'll be hard, but I miss my family. I have to do this," Aerin was going to go.

Even though I didn't know Aerin very well, I still didn't want her to leave. She saw Seth last I suppose. She was having Seth's kid. That was huge. But she should be with her family.

"Fine. I'll leave you alone," Kirsten gave up and soon we heard the door knob turn and open. Kirsten came out and walked past us. Aerin didn't come out, and we went downstairs. Summer and I went into the living room and turned on the television. The PlayStation 2 had grown dust all over it. I don't think any of us played it since Seth first left.

Kirsten and Sandy were standing in the kitchen, discussing something.

"What should we have on it?" Sandy asked. I tried paying attention to the TV., but I was more interested in the conversation.

"Why are you so adamant about it?" Kristen argued. I must've missed something. I had already missed a lot, and now there was more?

"We should get one. For closure," Sandy told her. Yeah, I was really really confused now.

"Can't we hold off? He might still be out there," Now I sort of understood. They were talking about Seth. But what did Kirsten want to hold off getting?

"Do you think he's gonna come back?" Sandy asked. We were all giving up.

"Honestly, I do. Someday or another," I thought it was strange. The longer we knew Seth was gone, the more we had hope for him coming back. Shouldn't that be the other way around?

"He might, I know. But what if he doesn't?" What was going to happen next? Maybe we all could just calm down and relax. I know I wanted to do that. Couldn't Newport take a break from being super melodramatic? I was sick of it.

"What is he does? We can't give up," Kirsten kept going. What were they going to buy?

"So we're going to torture ourselves for the rest of our lives in hopes that Seth _might_ be alive?" Sandy accused. Kirsten did say a word. I knew the conversation was over, and looked to the t.v.

It was an episode of the Valley. I could see it had been TiVo'd. I had been here in Newport for two years and had yet to learn how to TiVo a thing.

"So what's happening in this…" I started to ask.

"Ssshhh!" Summer hissed at me. Obviously she was deep in trance with the show. I couldn't tell what was happening. Some people were fighting, and one got hit, and I was so lost. How could anyone keep up with this?

Summer and I suppose Lindsay, since I had seen her earlier, had taped three episodes of the Valley. I was stuck watching it for three straight hours.

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A/n: Who doesn't love the Valley?

salvory - Thanks:D

alexis - I wanted there to be a connection there, because I'm a loser. xD

The Pirate Illusionist - xD. The OC is getting good. Real good.

sentinel - But that is what makes Lost so interesting because we know there is no way they should have survived, but they did. They even said so on the show, while I can't remember the whole line it was something like, "We shouldn't have survived that crash, and it was more than just luck…" It isn't just a normal plane crash. The island is seriously screwed up, and that was the story, more than just the plane crash.

paige fan - Haha. You're the only person who mentioned anything about Charlie. And as for the monster, I could tell you, bid I'd have to kill you… Hota ka, we don't know either!


	21. Amnesia Sucks

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie… Yellowcard owns the lyrics to "View From Heaven." Damn, what do I own?

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: I love how everything that I have worked so hard to put Seth through in the past few chapters, is all going down the drain. xD

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"**Amnesia Sucks"**

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The bright light grew brighter and brighter as I slowly felt everything fading out of my mind. It was an odd feeling.

Then it all just stopped. The bright light faded and was replaced by someone's face looming over me. It was a girl. And she looked familiar, but I couldn't place her.

I coughed a few times and didn't know why. Slowly, I began to attempt to sit up, only to be forced back down by the girl. "Seth?" she said, a questioning tone in her voice. How did she know my name? "Crap." She said that when I didn't respond and just looked at her as if she was a freak. What was going on? I was so confused.

Once again, I tried to get up, but I couldn't move my left arm. And when I tried to, it only stung horribly. I looked down and it was pressed tightly against my body in a makeshift sling. My face must have moved in pain when I tried to move it again, because the girl got all upset.

"Seth, be careful. You're arm… its broken… we think…" Who was she? And how the hell did my arm get broken? Where was I? Who was 'we?' So many things ran though my mind, I couldn't process them all, but I was confused, that was certain.

I blinked a few times as she helped me sit up right then hurried off only to return a few moments later with some food and water. She handed it to me. It was in that spilt second when the sun hit her face when I recognized her.

"Aerin?" I asked. I could see the look of confusion, then sudden realization cross her face.

"Shit," she cursed. What the hell was going on? I could see the confusion in her face. Wait, she shouldn't be the one confused, I was the one who should be confused. I had no clue about anything, where I was, what the hell happened.

I took a slow sip of the water and looked around. This sure as hell wasn't my apartment, or my room, or my house… or the plane. It was like a jungle of some sort.

Then it hit me. The last thing I remembered was getting on the plane, without Aerin. Holy shit, Ryan was dead. The message played over and over again in my head. And here I was in a jungle? At least I thought it was a jungle? What was this place?

I looked at the girl who was still looking at me. She looked so much like Aerin, but I knew that it wasn't her. Now that I looked closer there were some distinct differences, but they were slight. But who was she? Where was I?

"What… what happened?" I asked. I wanted some answers. Now. But the look on the girl's face made me wonder if she would give me the answers I was looking for.

"I… I don't know," she answered, sounding really upset. I immediately felt like shit. I didn't mean to upset her, but I was so lost. I wish I could know what was going on. Where I was and how I got here (wherever the hell here was).

I tried to look back to try to remember what had happened. I said goodbye to Aerin and got on the plane that was supposed to take me back to LAX, back to Newport because Ryan had died, been killed, wasn't on the planet earth any longer. Slowly, I tried to back as far away from the girl. She was still looking at me.

I ran into something hard. I turned around, it was a stone wall, a natural one, but it was a wall none the less. My breathing got quick and I couldn't control it. I didn't realize that I was crying, but I was.

I was terrified. More scared than I had ever been in my entire life. And I had a feeling that things were only gonna get worse.

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The rest of the day, I just stayed there, still terrified, still confused. People walked over to me and tried to talk to me. People who I had no clue who they were. I just ignored them. They all seemed to know who I was, but I didn't know who they were.

When they finally left me alone, I tried to piece together some things on my own. I looked over the things I knew. I was Seth Cohen, and this wasn't home. And then the stuff I didn't know. Where I was, who all these people were, what I was doing wherever here was. All of that stuff. I think I had been wherever here is for a while. I had bruises, cuts and scratches all over me. I didn't know where they came from.

Then there was the obvious, my arm was broken. I tried to move it to look at my watch to get some more information on the time frame we were talking about here, but it hurt too much.

It hit me like a train. The plane had crashed. That was the only answer to all these questions. This was how all this came about. But it still didn't answer the question as to how everyone knew who I was.

It wasn't until long after dark that anyone acknowledged my existence. Except the girl. There was something about her though. Maybe it was her striking resemblance to my girlfriend or something deeper inside of me, but everything didn't seem so fucked up when she was around. I still didn't know her name. She would bring me water and stuff. I never talked to her after our conversation earlier, but there were some conversations, that didn't need to be spoken with words.

It was odd.

It was late when a guy and a girl came in from the dense jungle. They stopped and talked to the girl. I was close enough to hear everything that they said.

"Any luck?" the girl from before had asked them. Both of them shook her head. I could see some tears fall down her face. Why was she crying?

"But I'm sure he's okay, wherever he is. He was fine last time," the man said.

"JACK!" the girl shouted. Jack, that name wasn't familiar, but it must have been the guy's name. "He nearly died last time!" Wait, who nearly died last time, what? My curiosity was getting the better or me.

The man was silent as the girl who was with him walked away. Jack knelt down next to the other girl and whispered something in her ear that I couldn't make out. Then a sudden look shot across her face. "Seth is up."

"How long?" Jack asked her. She didn't answer right away. "Claire… how long?" So her name was Claire. That sounded familiar, but I couldn't remember from where.

It was unnerving.

"Almost all day," she said.

An angry look shot across his face and he got up and started walking over towards me. I was getting bad vibes from this guy. Unexplainable bad vibes. His expression softened as he got closer to me. I must have looked so pathetic sitting there, curled up, just trying to figure everything out.

Claire ran after him. "Jack, I don't think he remembers anything."

Gee, that was a brilliant observation. I could tell that Jack didn't know what to say. I quickly shut my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I couldn't explain why I did that, I just did.

I didn't know anything that happened after that, if they said anything more, I would have heard them, but I couldn't see anything since my eyes were closed. The next thing I knew, Jack was slowly shaking me. I tried to act as if I was just waking up, but it was harder than I thought.

"Hey," he said with a smile. "How're ya doing?"

I shrugged. How was I supposed to answer that? He looked a little annoyed. "How's your arm doing?"

"Fine," I answered. This was a wonderful conversation. Almost as wonderful as the conversation between Claire and I earlier.

"Do you… remember anything?" Gee, that was a great question. NO!

"Yes," I answered. "I remember getting on the plane, and then waking up. And there was Claire, at least I think that's her name. I got that much from your conversation earlier."

Jack laughed slightly, but I could tell there was something that was just bursting at the seams that he wanted to get out.

"Did the plane crash?" I asked.

He nodded. Oh shit. I was hoping that I hadn't been right, but I was.

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I spent the next few days just trying to figure everything out again. I discovered that even though I was horrible at eavesdropping at home, I was like the master here. Most of my questions were left unanswered, like how my arm got broken.

Claire had told me that we had been on the island for weeks, even she didn't know how long. I asked her what day it was and she looked at my watch for me. It was kind of a funny moment, but I was shocked when she told me that it was September 30th. The plane had crashed sometime in August. I couldn't have been out for that long and lived if this was caused by the plane crash.

But no one ever answered my questions. I spent a lot of time with Claire. There was just this feeling I got around the other people that made me question them. I couldn't explain it, but I couldn't trust them. I felt like I could trust Claire. She explained to me how she was related to Aerin and all this other stuff.

It was interesting. Little by little we started walking around more, getting away from the caves, but not too far. Claire didn't want to go that far, and I wanted to find out more, but I got tired easily, so that was a bad idea. So we would turn around and go back to the caves.

I'd pretend to go to sleep, then listen in on their conversations.

Claire talked a lot about a guy named Charlie. She was upset because of him. It came into my knowledge that he had disappeared and that was where Jack and Kate (the girl that was with him that first night) went and some other people.

But they were beginning to lose hope. They had been looking for a long time. I would lose hope too.

And if they had lost hope for Charlie, how long would people be looking for us? Had they already lost hope, if we had been here as long as Claire said we had been? The thought scared me. I didn't want to be here forever. That was a terrifying thought. I'd never see Aerin again, or my family. It didn't matter what happened before. This was now.

Slowly, I drifted off into sleep.

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I had another nightmare. But this one I could remember. There was a girl, I think it was Kate, and some guy, I didn't know who it was. They were walking through the jungle together. I was following them. And then I heard a scream and woke up.

The wind blew in the trees, and I could have sworn I heard something, but nothing more came to my ears. I thought nothing of it. I tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't.

So instead, I stood up and decided to walk around. It wasn't dark out, but it wasn't light out, it was that twilight between night and dawn. If that made any sense. I stepped over sleeping bodies. I was walking without a purpose.

"Where are you going?" I heard someone ask. I turned around and found myself looking at Jack. Wait, didn't I just step over him. Wasn't he asleep? "I don't sleep," he said with a bit of a smile on his face. "No where are you going?"

I didn't answer right away. We just looked at each other. "I had a nightmare and need to clear my mind," I said, thinking before I spoke. That was a first.

He just looked at me. "What was it about?"

"I can't remember," I lied quickly. That was smart. Jack only smiled slightly. He looked weird. Like I'd never seen him before.

"If you say so Seth," he added quietly, before his eyes drifted shut. That was weird. Was he awake yet asleep at the same time? Hmmmmmm…

I stopped and sat down. It was then that I realized that I had sat on something. I stood up and recognized the bag as my own. I didn't recall bringing a bag, but I must have. Slowly I opened it with my good arm and looked through all my stuff. It didn't seem like it was all that long ago that I got on that plane, with only the backpack I was now opening.

A change of clothing, my dead cell phone. That was the extent of what I had packed. Then I spotted the familiar black notebook with all my drawings in for the comic book. The comic book that I had majorly screwed up on. Why couldn't I have forgotten that too, seeing as I forgot just about everything else?

I reached for it with my good arm and opened it up on my lap, using the little light to look through them again. It brought a smile to my face as I turned through the pages one by one, just taking in all of the drawings. Then it hit me. Since I had nothing better to do, I could write my comic book. I grabbed the second book, which I actually started writing the comic in.

Digging through the bag some more I found my pencil and just began drawing. I couldn't think of a plot, but the more and more I wrote and drew it, the more and more it seemed to flow.

I had finally found something to do with all the free time I had. But I did know one thing for sure.

Amnesia sucked!

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Time passed. Far too much time. I didn't know how long since my watched stopped working, but I figured it was sometime in December. According to Claire and Jack we've been there over four months. And if the plane supposedly crashed in August that made it sometime in December.

My arm never got better. Even though Jack did everything I could, it hurt even to move it. So I learned to get along without it. Besides, I didn't really need it to draw.

So that was what I did, for the months that I was stuck here. My memory never came back to me. But as long as I was drawing, I was happy. Claire seemed to get more and more distant. Charlie, whoever he was, never came back. I couldn't remember him at all.

But things in the comic were getting interesting. I had added some new characters into the scheme of things. Now not only were there demon water-polo players, but their leader, Alex. It wasn't Alex as in the Alex who was an ass and cheated on me with Marissa, but Alex, as in some guy. I didn't know where I got the idea, it just popped into my head.

Then there was Aerin, who changed into Astrogirl, but she was bad, on Alex's side. While Aerin wasn't evil, I needed more bad people in the story. In the last part I had written, KidCHINO had been killed by Alex, and I had somehow lost all my super powers and was now being held by Alex. That was where Rick and Aerin came in. Rick was just another one of those characters that just popped into my head. And Rick, couldn't die. Well, maybe he could, I never got that far, but…

It was something to keep my mind busy, to keep myself busy instead of going insane on this island like some other people seemed to have been.

I sighed out loud when I got to the last empty page in the book. Thankfully, I had a blank one with me that I could continue writing.

"Watcha writing?" someone to the left of me asked. I turned my head and saw Walt. I couldn't understand how he could keep such a level head about this whole thing, how old was he? Ten? He had to be. I didn't know much about him, except that he was here with his father and his dog. He never really talked to me that much.

"A comic book," I responded, going to get the other book in my backpack.

"You're actually writing a comic book?" he asked me, his voice sounding as if he was shocked.

I nodded. "Something to pass the time," I smiled. I hadn't smiled in a while. I would get so into writing and drawing, that that would be all I would do from dawn to dusk. No one really talked to me that much once again.

"Can I read it?" he asked. I didn't answer him right away. He was just a kid, and he needed something to do.

"Okay," I said, closing the book and handing it to him. "Merry Chrismukkah."

"Chrismukkah?" he asked confused.

Chuckling, I nodded. "Christmas and Hanukkah. I kinda made it up."

He laughed, why not spread the Chrismukkah cheer?. "So can I really read it?"

I nodded. Why not.

"Gee, thanks," he smiled, taking the book and looking through it. I could tell he wasn't reading it yet, just looking at the pictures. "These are really good Seth," he said.

"Thanks," I said, opening up the new book and beginning to write some more. It was only mid-afternoon. I could finish the rest of this part by the end of the day if I tried hard enough.

With that, he got up and walked away. I watched as he sat down and began reading it. I just looked at him for a while. I could see him laughing at some parts, and looking as if he couldn't wait for what was coming next at others.

I sighed, extremely glad that I had helped someone other than myself. I went back to writing. Then suddenly I heard someone coming. It was Jack. I just ignored him.

"How's your arm doing?" he asked. It was the same thing, ever day.

"No better than yesterday," I said dully, continuing to draw.

"Seth, you have to do more than just draw. You sit in that one spot, you don't move. You're scaring us."

"Well what should I do? I can't remember anything Jack, or did you forget that part? Half these people that know me, I don't know who they are. And the only people that give a shit about me are the ones I know anything about. And the only person that I know I can trust is Claire," I said spouting words off at the mouth. I couldn't stop.

"Why Seth?"

"I don't know!" I snapped angrily. "There is just something things I can't explain."

That ended our conversation. I just continued drawing as he walked away.

Hours later, I heard a gasp and looked over at Walt. I chuckled slightly, but he looked confused. Slowly, I got up. But he was rushing over towards Jack.

What was the kid doing?

"Jack!" he shouted. I followed him, then hid when he finally reached Jack.

"What is it Walt?" he asked. Walt handed him the book.

"It's Charlie… and Ethan…" he said, still sounding confused.

"That's really nice Walt…" Jack said, beginning to walk away. Walt stopped him.

"I didn't draw them… Seth did."

I was confused. Who was Ethan? And Charlie? What? Charlie was the guy who disappeared almost like… three months ago. I didn't even know who he was.

Amnesia sucked.

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A/n: Hope you liked it. I am thinking of making this into a trilogy… I don't know if Ali would write too, but I had ideas in work today for parts two and three. More information to come! Thanks to the reviewers:

The Pirate Illusionist - Who did expect that Charlie would shoot E? And who doesn't like Charlie, even if he killed Ethan. xD.

alexis - Maybe.

paige fan - According to Jimmy Kimmel, the monster is cookie monster… xD. We probably won't find out what it is until like… the last episode of the season. xD. Wow, no one seemed to see that coming. xD

Oh yes, just another question, we have no clue how long they're gonna be stuck on the island. Seeing as it is Chrismukkah now, they've been on the island for 5 months-ish. Now we want to have Aerin have the baby before they get rescued (if they get rescued). So that takes us to about August of 2006 (because we want them to be there at least a year… or at least Kim does)… So over a year, how long do you want them to be there for….


	22. Sethless Chrismukkah

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie… Yellowcard owns the lyrics to "View From Heaven." Damn, what do I own?

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: I love how everything that I have worked so hard to put Seth through in the past few chapters, is all going down the drain. xD

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"**Sethless Chrismukkah"**

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It was the first Chrismukkah without Seth. Kirsten was taking it exceptionally hard. I tired to get through it, but we all missed Seth. It had been four months since he was missing, and six months since any of us last saw him alive.

The date was December 24th, only one more day of Seth's favorite holiday. Kirsten barely left her room and Sandy did all he could. They never went through with a gravestone. Kirsten had forbidden it. That was what they had been talking about before Aerin left.

Aerin had made it back to Sydney safe, and as far as I knew, she was living with her parents. I talked to her on the phone once and she told me that she couldn't go back to the apartment she shared with Seth.

Me, Summer, Lindsay, and Sandy were in the living room watching _Over The Top_, the family classic. Sandy had gone to get Kirsten a while ago, but the holidays really drained her.

Not a lot did we talk to Marissa, she had distanced herself from us. Sometimes I missed seeing her and stuff, but it was for the best.

The phone rang and I slowly got up to get it.

"Hello?" I answered the phone in the kitchen.

"Hi, Ryan," Aerin's voice came from the other line.

"Oh, hey. Merry Chrismukkah," I told her.

"Chrismukkah?" Aerin obviously didn't understand. Wow, I would've thought Seth would tell her.

"Mix of Christmas and Hanukkah. Seth made it," I explained to her.

"Oh. Then, Merry Chrismukkah," I laughed when I heard Aerin say it in her accent.

"So what's up?" I asked her. She called not that often, maybe every three weeks.

"Just seeing how everything was. You know, if there are any updates," Aerin answered.

"Well, no updates on anything. How's the baby doing?" Whenever I spoke about the baby, my mind went to Theresa. I hadn't seen her in well over a year. Not since she told me she lost the baby.

"So far so good. Four months. Only five more," Aerin joked. That was about how far Theresa had been.

"Any plans on coming back to Newport for a bit?" I wondered.

"Maybe. I want to visit before I'm too far into my pregnancy. So yeah, I might visit soon," It was nice talking to Aerin, I did miss her. I talked to her more on the phone than when she was here.

"That's cool," I commented.

"Yeah," She agreed and I felt a silence come on. We didn't say a word. Yep, I was right.

"Well, I'll let you go. Don't wanna waste your money for long distance," I broke it.

"Right, okay. Um, I'll call you soon. You know, about the visit. So, bye, Merry Chrismukkah," she said.

"Merry Chrismukkah," I hung up slowly and went back to the living room.

"Who was that?" Summer asked me warily as I sat down next to her.

"Aerin," I tried to figure out what I missed in the movie.

"How's she doing?" Sandy now questioned.

"Good. Four months in. She might visit soon," I finally noticed how much we were covering our real pain. The only person who wasn't was Kirsten. We all pretended to be happy, only we weren't. The holidays were sucking this year.

There wasn't a reason to be happy. All the holiday cheer that once was so memorable was gone. Seth kept Chrismukkah together. We barely even put up a Christmas tree.

The movie ended, and Sandy got up to get the DVD.

"So Ryan, do you wanna do something tonight?" Summer looked up at me.

"I don't know. Maybe. Doesn't matter," Obviously I wasn't paying attention.

"Well, you're really decisive," Summer said, getting angry.

"What? I don't know what to do. It's Christmas Eve, what can we do?" I explained.

"I know, but isn't there like a party every night?" Summer asked me.

"I don't know. I don't keep up with party schedules. You do," I really didn't want the holidays to happen. They pretty much sucked without Seth.

"How about we don't fight? It's Chrismukkah, we're supposed to be happy," My girlfriend looked at me.

"Sure," I didn't feel like fighting or doing much of anything.

We watched another movie, I had no clue what it was about. I was falling asleep through it.

"Ryan," Sandy's voice woke me up. I opened my eyes. When had I fallen asleep? "Can you get Kirsten? Dinner's almost ready."

I nodded and Sandy left to tend to dinner. But I was stuck. Summer had fallen asleep on me. I gently lifted her head and got up, then laid her back down.

All of us had fallen asleep so as I got up, I also saw Lindsay sleeping soundly. It made me think of the times I spent with her. I smiled.

I walked past Sandy in the kitchen and went to his and Kirsten's room. The door was closed and I knocked. There wasn't an answer. "Kirsten?" I asked.

"What?" she asked back.

"Can I come in?" My hand was on the door and she didn't answer. I turned the knob.

Climbing up the stairs, I saw her lying on the bed, her back to me.

"Dinner's ready," I commented and waited for her to turn over. She didn't.

"Not hungry," She mumbled to me. I walked over closer. I saw her face, with tears running down it. Her makeup was smeared, she was a complete mess.

"Are you sure?" I wondered.

"I'm sure," Kirsten had really lost it. I hadn't seen her this bad. I knew the holidays were taking a lot out of her, actually everyone, but I didn't know it was this bad.

"Aerin called," I knew Kirsten was sort of close to Aerin.

"Neat," Her face held no emotion. I felt so bad for her.

"You should get up, get out. I don't think Seth would want you moping around," At the mention of Seth, kristen cried harder. That was a really stupid thing to do.

"No, calm down. I'm sorry," I tried to redeem myself. It wasn't working.

"Just go away Ryan," Kirsten muffled through her pillow.

"Sorry," I told her before leaving. That went great. Yeah right.

I headed into the kitchen and found Lindsay setting the table and Summer was still sleeping.

"How'd it go?" Sandy looked at me hopefully.

"I think I made it worse," I answered and began to walk to the living room.

"How?" Sandy didn't understand.

"I mentioned Seth," I went over to the couch where Summer was sleeping. "Sum, wake up. Summer."

"Hmm?" Summer opened her eyes and stared at me drowsily.

"Time to get up," I informed her.

"Fine," She was still out of it, but she got up. Unlike Kirsten. We went into the kitchen and got dinner ready.

Kirsten never came out, and Sandy tried, but it was hopeless. She wasn't leaving that room. I think.

I looked around at the dinner table. There was four people. Usually, there was something around ten. The Coopers, and the Nichols would be there. Most importantly, Seth and Kirsten would be sitting there. Kirsten would be sitting next to Sandy, happy, and Seth would be rambling about some nonsense.

I missed those days.

We all ate in silence, there was nothing to say. Chrismukkah just wasn't really the same without Seth.

I never usually enjoyed the holidays, I used to despise them when I was younger. Christmas break especially. We'd have no tree, no presents, and my mom would be drunk, but on special, stupid occasions, my brother would be arrested.

Even though this was a depressing holiday, I'd take this one more than the ones I used to have. I wanted to say there's no alcoholism, but two years ago reminded me there was.

My thoughts drifted off to Marissa. For a while, she just avoided us. I don't even know if she went to college. Summer and I were taking a break before going off. I did because back when we had our graduation, I had a feeling Seth wasn't going to come back any time soon. How right I was.

I knew that Lindsay had decided to go somewhere in California, I guess to be by her family. I didn't know.

At that moment, Kirsten walked in. We never even heard her. Sandy just looked up and saw Kirsten standing there.

"Kirsten," Sandy said and I looked back. Kirsten looked worse than ever. She had lost a lot of weight. The bones were almost peaking through the skin.

"Do you wanna have something to eat?" Sandy asked and she nodded. He got up and led her to the table where we all helped get her ready. I grabbed her a plate and drink, Sandy got stuff from the grill, and Lindsay got the side stuff. Summer kept Kirsten company.

"So, how do you feel Mrs. Cohen?" Summer asked. Kirsten didn't answer at first.

"I haven't seen my son in six months and he has been missing for four. You dated him, and broke his heart by dating my other son and caused him to leave and you also put Ryan in a coma," Kirsten heartlessly told her. I couldn't believe she had just said that. That was so not Kirsten-like. She would never say those things to her. Kirsten wasn't thinking right.

"There you go," I quickly placed a drink in front of Kirsten to be by Summer. I could see she was nearly in tears, and I held her hand, which she squeezed hard.

"Thank you," Kirsten choked out. Sandy appeared and soon, everyone was sitting down, staring at Kirsten.

She stared down at her food. We all watched her as she picked up her fork and took a bite of her mashed potatoes. It was out cue for us to be able to eat.

After dinner, we all sat down to watch another movie. For a bit, we watched _A Christmas Story_, where Ralphie shoots his eye out. Summer used to watch it when she was little. There was a 24 hour marathon. I couldn't take hearing "You'll shoot your eye out, you'll shoot your eye out," for another two hours. So we let Kirsten pick what to watch. She got up and disappeared for a good fifteen minutes. We didn't know where she went. Finally, she appeared with a bunch of videos.

"Honey, are you sure you wanna watch these?" Sandy asked her. She took a video out.

"Yes. I want to see him again," Kirsten put the video in.

"What are we watching?" I asked Sandy, confused.

"Home videos. I bought a camera for Kirsten a while back and she went nuts with it. Recorded our moving out of Berkeley. Seth's birthdays parties, everything," Sandy told me. Little Seth? That sounded funny.

Suddenly, a seven year old Seth appeared in an empty room. It was a much smaller room than he used to have here. He was curled up in a ball in the corner of the room.

"Come on Seth, it's time to go," Kirsten said on the video. She was obviously taping.

"No," little Seth told his mom. I couldn't help but laugh at how small Seth looked.

"Seth, it's time to go," Kirsten said on the video.

"No," Seth screamed at her. I looked over at Kirsten. She was crying again. I didn't understand why she was putting herself through this.

"Still won't budge?" Sandy's voice was heard.

"He refuses," Kirsten told him.

"Let me talk to him," Sandy came on screen, ten years younger, eye brows less full.

"Come on, Seth. Don't you want to go to Newport?" Sandy knelt down by Seth.

"No," Seth told him.

"Come on, it'll be fun. Meet new kids, new room..." Sandy was trying to get Seth to go. It was really strange to see the Cohens when they were younger.

"But you said Newport was full of rich, snobby, idiotic people other than Mommy," I couldn't help but crack up. Everyone else did, even Kirsten through tears.

That part ended and the next shot was an opening of the house we all were in, but completely emtpy. Everything was baron. Kirsten was videotaping a tour of the house. It showed where we were right now. It felt like someone was watching us.

Then that ended and the next was outside by the pool house. I could see a little Seth and a little Marissa sitting at the table, surrounded by Kirsten, Jimmy, and Julie. A banner by the door, said "Happy Birthday, Seth!" Seth didn't look quite happy, and Marissa looked annoyed.

"Seth, honey, open your presents," Kirsten sat next to Seth, who looked so unhappy. It was his birthday. Aren't kids in Newport supposed to be happy when it's their birthday? I mean, you get presents. Kids in Chino get a beating.

"There's only one," Seth commented to Kirsten and Marissa looked embarrassed. She was cute as a little girl.

"Why weren't you there?" I asked Summer and she looked over at me, thinking.

"Um, I had to...um, go somewhere," Summer didn't look at me. I knew she was lying. She didn't want to go.

"You didn't go. We invited you. I heard Marissa talking about how unfair it was that you got off and she didn't," Kirsten looked over at Summer. I didn't know why Kirsten was all of a sudden putting her anger out on Summer. I knew it wasn't right, as did everyone else. So why weren't they defending Summer? I mean, did everyone think that Kirsten could just start bad-mouthing my girlfriend?

"Let's go," I grabbed Summer's arm and left. Kirsten didn't say a word, and no one else understood it. Why was Kirsten doing this now? It was Christmas Eve, why the hell was she pissing me and Summer off? I didn't understand it. She was fine until today. Okay, not fine, but sort of fine.

"Where are we?" Summer was confused. So was I. I didn't know where I was going, I just needed fresh air.

Where we were headed turned out to be sitting on the front porch.

"I'm sorry," I apologized to Summer for Kirsten.

"Why?" Summer was confused with me. Weren't we always confused?

"Because of Kirsten. She had no right to say that," I explained to her as we looked out into the darkness. It was cold, colder than I had ever felt it in Newport.

"It's fine. I'm over it. I mean, I didn't go to Cohen's party. So what? I mean, I regret it. But we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that," Summer told me. I stared at her strangely. "Okay, so maybe I should've gone."

"No, everything happens for a reason...I think. If you went, we could be in a much worse state than we are now. So, let's just be happy with what we have," I added.

"Right. That works," We grew silent as it got colder. Summer shivered and sat closer to him.

"Holy shit," She commented out of the blue after a few moments.

"What?" I was confused, and she got up.

"It's snowing. It is snowing in Newport. Holy crap! This is amazing! It has like never snowed here," Summer explained to me as she looked up into the sky. I could see small flurries dancing down to the ground.

"Don't remember it snowing in Chino either," I got up and went next to her and we both stared up into the darkness.

"You know what? I think things might get better," Summer told me. I looked at her as she still looked up.

"How so?" I didn't get her anymore.

"Well, I mean, it could be like Cohen, telling us he's alive and that things are gonna get better. You know, like, it's just a sign. That good things happen at the least expected times. Like Cohen, will come back when we totally don't expect it," She turned to me. "It's a thought."

"Right," I assured her.

"You think it's stupid," She accused me. How did I know this was coming?

"I don't. For once, I think you're completely right," I looked back up as Summer pondered whether that was a diss or complement. I just watched as Newport was covered in the smallest blanket of snow.

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A/n: Still luv the crap outta y'all… and dude, what's with the new review layout, it is freaky… but so much easier… it'll just take some getting used to I guess…Thanks to the reviewers:

alexis - Haha…

Harper's Pixie - Uh… Ethan didn't hang Seth, he drugged the hell outta him then tried to drown him. :D xD. I think, Kim can't seem to remember what happened in Chapter 19… runs to check And thanks, I like Sawyer, I don't think he's that big of an ass, and that it is all a show. Which is how I am trying to write him. but thanks! Claire's Aerin's cousin? xD… DUDE! Do you really think I am capable of killing Charlie again? I liked the little amnesia bit with Claire, and wanted to add it in somehow… I'm glad that you got all caught up. How about an immediate update? xD

The Pirate Illusionist - I think I've set a time since I've started to write the next part. Down to an exact amount. I hope the show goes on forever, because those poor people are never ever gonna get resuced because "Lost" is the biggest hit ever!


	23. Of Kate and Charlie

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Just as a warning, neither of us like Kate very much…

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"**Of Kate and Charlie"**

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I knew it wouldn't be that long until Jack came over to talk to me, so I walked over to my discarded book and sat down. Quickly, I picked it up and began drawing again.

Call me psychic, but not very long later, Jack walked over with the other black book. I kept myself from laughing. "Hey Seth," he said. The sun was just beginning to set, so I decided to pack my stuff away.

"Hi Jack," I said, putting my one arm behind my head as I looked over at him.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked. I chuckled slightly. Trying to play as if I had never hear his conversation with Walt.

"You're talking to me now, aren't you?"

He chuckled and sat down next to me. I moved my arm. "I guess I am," he said. "But I was reading your…"

"Comic book," I finished for him.

"Yeah…" he said. He took a deep breath. I was tempted to ask the question for him, but then I remembered that I hadn't eavesdropped on that conversation or at least I was gonna pretend that I hadn't. "Its good," he said, sounding a bit uncomfortable.

"Thanks," I said, not quite sure of what else to say. He sat there in silence for a while. I broke the silence. "Your mind seems a bit preoccupied; do you want to tell me what you're thinking?"

He was just silent. "Jack?"

Slowly, he opened up the book to the back where the newer stuff was. "Where did you get these ideas, Seth?" he asked. His voice was calm, but preoccupied.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought of them, so I wrote them down," I said, staring off into blank space.

"So you don't remember anything?"

I shook my head. What was he getting at? Who was Ethan, who was Charlie? The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I refused to let them come out.

He pointed to the pictures of Alex and Rick. "These look a lot like… two people that you… claim to not remember."

Now I was extremely confused. If they were people I didn't know, didn't remember, how could I draw them? I just looked at him for a while, as if he had three heads.

"Seth, Alex… he looks and acts remarkably like the guy who kidnapped you. And Rick, Rick looks like…" he looked like he was trying to find the right words to unconfuse me. "A guy who disappeared when you were found."

"Charlie?" I asked.

"You remember him?" he asked.

"No, I have ears," I laughed slightly. He laughed too, then sighed. That was when I heard it.

It was quiet. Not very loud, but I heard screaming. I looked around quickly, as if to try and figure out what exactly it was that I was hearing. "Did you hear that?" I asked Jack.

He looked at me oddly. "Seth, I didn't hear anything. What did you hear?"

"Screaming," I said quietly, trying to listen closer for more, but I didn't hear anything.

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I didn't fall asleep for the rest of the night. I just sat there, staring off into space. Jack left after I refused to talk and kept telling him to be quiet. I just looked around into the darkness all night long, but it wasn't until the next morning that I heard it again.

This time it was louder. I quickly stood up and looked around. No one else seemed to hear it. "Didn't you hear that?" I asked Walt, who was the nearest person to me.

"Hear what Seth?" he asked me.

"Screaming," I responded. I heard it again. This time it was louder. I looked around more frantically.

"Are you okay?" he asked me. I shook my head and ran to find Jack. He had to be able to hear it.

I found him talking to Locke. "Jack, Jack…" I said quickly.

Jack looked at Locke, "Excuse me…" he got up. "What is it Seth?"

"The screaming, I heard the screaming again, and this time it was louder. Something bad is happening." I was getting more and more worried. A sick feeling was growing up inside of me.

"Seth, there was no screaming," Locke said from behind Jack.

"Yes there was!" I said frantically. They had to listen to me.

"I think…" Jack paused.

"You think I'm going crazy, don't you?" I snapped, glaring at him. Jack looked down at the ground and I knew that he was trying to hide it. "Fine," I snapped, beginning to walk away.

"SETH! SETH, WHERE ARE YOU GOING!" he shouted at me. I didn't listen to him as I heard the screaming in the distance again. I broke out into a run.

Jack ran after me. I could hear him. But that didn't make me go any slower.

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Unfortunately, I still wasn't feeling all the best and got tired quickly. Jack caught up with me easily. "You have to calm down Seth, there was no screaming."

I stopped and took a deep breath. "Yes, there was Jack. I know I'm not hearing things. I heard it last night. I heard it a few minutes ago. I feel like something bad is happening, I have this sick feeling."

He looked at me as if I was crazy. "I'm not crazy," I said. Once again, I heard it. I looked around. It was so loud. I looked at him. "Please tell me you heard that!"

Jack shook his head. Then I heard a male shouting in pain. I looked around. Jack probably didn't hear that either. He needed to get his ears cleaned out. Seriously. If he couldn't hear it. Then I heard a rustling behind us and Claire was bringing up the rear.

"I saw you two run out… and it worried me. You have to tell me what is going on."

I took the distraction as a help and began running again. I was still exhausted, but something bad was going to happen.

"SETH!" I heard them both shout it, but I didn't stop. I was still so tired, but the sick feeling was getting stronger. And the screaming, the screaming was getting louder. Then a gunshot thundered through the forest and my pace quickened.

Then I stopped when I saw it. I saw a man, a man and Kate. Neither of them were screaming, but I could hear shouting get louder and louder. Kate was bleeding. The man was holding a gun in his hand.

"Shit," I said almost silently. Then the man walked closer to me. Shit. Where were Jack and Claire? Why was this guy looking at me as if he knew me? Who was he?

"Well well well, if it isn't the rat," he said, with a smile. "Nice to see you Seth."

"Who the hell are you?" I snapped, glaring at him. I heard Kate choking in pain. Where were they? There wasn't anything I could do.

The man laughed. "Don't remember me, do you?" His face twisted into malicious grin. Then I recognized him. He was… he was Alex. The character I wrote in the comic. And according to Jack, he was the one that had kidnapped me. But I didn't remember being kidnapped. He got closer and closer and he reached out and forced his hands around my neck.

"You shouldn't have survived,"

Suddenly, Jack and Claire appeared out of nowhere. "What the hell?" Jack asked angrily, before noticing Kate lying on the ground. Taking advantage of the distraction once again, I kicked him hard. He fell down to the ground, and I made myself as far away as possible from him.

Jack was visibly shaking. I didn't see Kate breathing. I knew I heard something… and then the dream. Holy shit. She couldn't be dead, could she?

The next thing either of us knew, Ethan was trying to attack me or Claire, since we were both standing next to each other. Protectively, I put an arm around her. She was the only person I felt I could trust. I couldn't let him get her.

But before he could get to either of us, Jack launched himself at Ethan and began beating the shit out of him. I felt like I was watching the crap being beat out of me, at every occurrence with the water polo people. The odds were definitely in Jack's favor. I mean the guy was skinny. He didn't look like he was strong enough to break an egg, let alone beat up someone like Jack.

Boy was I wrong. It wasn't long before Ethan got the upper hand. He was punching Jack now, and I went to go help him when I heard the shouting again. It was so loud it hurt my ears. Using my one good hand, I tried to cover my ears.

Then suddenly it all stopped. Everything became silent. The fight was back up off the ground. They were both just glaring at each other. "You killed her," Jack said, sounding upset. So Kate was dead. Holy crap. "Why?"

Ethan just smiled. It was disgusting, his mouth was bleeding, so his teeth were covered in blood. I looked away.

"She wasn't the first," he said simply. "Remember Charlie?"

I felt Claire grab my good arm. I looked down at her, she looked like she was ready to break down.

"He got in my way, and now he's dead too. Who's next, Jack? Charlie, Kate. How many more people are gonna die before you realize that I have the upper hand here, and you're just gonna have to live with it."

I could hear Claire sobbing slightly. Charlie was the one who disappeared. I didn't think he was dead. Then it hit me. He couldn't be dead. It was an unexplainable feeling, I just knew it. "Shhhh," I said quietly. "Claire, Charlie's not dead, he's bluffing."

"Wanna bet Cohen?" Ethan asked me. Now he began coming closer to me. "I killed him myself with my bare hands. And I think you or your little girlfriend'll be next, maybe both of you." He smiled again. Claire's grip on my arm became so tight, I wouldn't be surprised if my circulation would be cut off. "I nearly killed you once, I won't mess up this-"

Ethan was cut off. Gun shots were fired right at his back. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. All in rapid succession. He had a look of pain then relief in his face as he fell to the ground right in front of me and Claire. She screamed slightly and then, both of us looked at who had shot. It wasn't Jack. He was looking at him too.

"Charlie?" Claire asked.

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A/n: I may end up posting this while on vacation, because I've had it written for a while. Sorry that it is so short, but hell... I need to start mentioing Sawyer some more. I do believe I've come up with a set amount of time they're gonna be on there (FOREVER!), but I won't say how long just yet. But I'm hoping to bring this to a close soon, so the next few chapters may be a little vague. This is the longest thing I've ever written, and this is the closest I've ever come to finishing something this big. And this is only part 1. xD. Thanks to the reviewers:

Harper's Pixie - It's okay, you just had me a little confused there. I hope you liked this chapter.

DeuCe628- Muchas gracias!

alexis - Now hold on one second... who ever said that? HOTA KA! Haha. But I nearly forgot about the 'monster' because of Ethan, but I will probably encorporate it later in the story...

paige fan - Well, I am on vacation now, but I had this part already typed up and on the site, so I a just typing up these little things in the hotel room. Haha. Even though this part is short, it is important, so I hope ya liked it:D


	24. Falling Into Darkness

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: I wrote this right after posting the other part. I think I might be coming down with the flu, so if it is shitty, please tell me.

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"**Fading Into Nothing"**

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"Charlie?" Claire asked. She released her death grip on my arm.

Suddenly I found myself looking down the barrel of the same gun that had killed Kate… and Ethan. Behind it I could see Charlie glaring at me.

"Charlie, what are you doing?" I heard Jack ask. He sounded upset. Then again, why wouldn't he be? Everyone knew he had feelings for Kate, I mean I saw him look at her the same way I used to look at Summer, or Aerin.

Charlie didn't respond. He just continued glaring at me. I could feel his eyes trying to bore holes in my head.

"Charlie," Claire said, starting to move towards him.

"You… you," he got out in an angry yet very exhausted voice. "You stay away from me, and Claire, and everyone… everyone else? You got me?" I could hear the hatred in his voice, I could see it in his eyes. And once again, I was terrified.

What had I done to this guy? But before I got a chance to ask him, he fell to the ground, the gun falling out of his hand. I heard Claire shout out "CHARLIE!" and rush over to him. I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. I mean, I was so confused and so… hurt. I didn't know the guy except from what Claire had told me about him, and this wasn't what I had gotten from her descriptions.

I could feel eyes looking at me, making me feel so uncomfortable. Then without warning, my mind told my feet to run, and they did.

"SETH, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Jack was shouting after me. I didn't stop. I just let my legs carry me to where it was they were going, but wherever it was, it was far away from Charlie, Claire and Jack.

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I couldn't understand. I didn't get it at all. I wish I knew what I had done to the guy. Had I done something? I must have judging by the way he acted.

By now, I was exhausted. Exhausted and lost. I must have been going crazy because everywhere I turned, I heard voices talking. Maybe Jack was right, maybe I was going crazy.

I took a deep breath as I stopped running. I had gotten tired a long time ago, but I kept on running. I felt the need to get away to escape from everything again. To get away.

So I sat down and looked around the jungle, at the leaves (quite an interesting sight). I was alone, it was quiet. I tried to fight the urge, but everything was getting to me. Slowly, I fell asleep.

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"_Seth, you silly goose!" Aerin laughed. I smiled. Why did she always have a way of making me smile? "Why are you being such a stupid idiot?"_

"_Huh?" I asked her, feeling really confused. What was she talking about?_

"_I think he just likes running away," Summer said as she walked up right next to Aerin._

"_Wait… what?" I asked, looking between the two of them? Why were both of them here, in this odd place that I didn't even know where it was?_

"_Do you ever think about other people Cohen, or just yourself?" Summer snapped angrily. I tried to talk, but she wouldn't let me. "Running away solves nothing. It just causes pain for the people around you, you know that right? Remember when you were twelve Cohen? Where were you going? Do you wanna know the truth Cohen? I was worried about you… what were you going to do? Huh? Did you really think that no one would care?"_

_I was shocked. Was I hearing this right? She had worried about me? Other people had worried about me? Miss popularity and the center of all my affections for all those years?_

"_I mean come on Cohen, running away won't solve any of your problems. It'll just make your life even more fucked up than it already is? Remember Portland? Hello! How much… horribler was your life after that?"_

_My eyes wandered over towards Aerin, who was just staring at me. I wish I could hear what was going on in her head, but I couldn't. She looked like she wanted to cry._

"_And then Sydney? Less than two weeks before graduation none the less! Talk about stupid Cohen! Did you even realize how many lives you stopped and ruined because of that? And I'm not just talking about your parents here! Going to Sydney pretty much sealed your fate Seth! You're never coming back now!"_

_By now Aerin was crying. "You're dead Seth, you know that right? They're never gonna find you. You're never coming back." I blinked a few times. Last time I checked I was still alive. "You went on that plane and just disappeared off the face of the planet. Everyone on the plane just disappeared Seth!" _

_She sniffled. I didn't realize that I was crying too as I walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. I felt like such an idiot. A 'silly goose' in Aerin's words._

_Aerin pushed me away. "Seth, stop. Don't you get it?" Summer snapped. "You had the world and left it behind."_

"_Wait? What are you talking about, is it my fault that the fucking plane crashed?" I said angrily. _

"_No, if you would have stayed in Newport and finished out school and never went to Sydney, then none of this wouldn't have happened and you wouldn't be dead."_

"_Hold on here. Don't tell me that I fucked up! If I would have never gone to Sydney, then I wouldn't have met Aerin!"_

_Summer was silenced and just looked at me._

"_He's been gone for six months, half a year," I recognized that voice. I turned around and looked right into my mothers face. "Two messages in six months, and that was four months ago. Face it, he's never coming back."_

_It wasn't like my mother to lose hope like that. What was wrong with her? "HEY!" I shouted, when suddenly I felt the ground from underneath me fall in and I fell down through dark clouds. A few random flashes of lightning lit up the sky as rain began to fall rhythmically on my head._

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My eyes opened with a quick blink as rain pounded hard on my head, getting me soaked in the process. While it felt good on my arm, it was just uncomfortable everywhere else.

Using my good arm, I pulled myself up and stared off in search of some sort of shelter. The rain was coming down harder and harder, and I could feel myself getting sick already. Somehow, by pure dumb luck, I found a small cave nearby that I fit under with just a slight bit of discomfort.

So this is what I had turned to. Maybe dream-Summer was right. Maybe I just liked running away from all my problems. Was that why I always left when things got too hard to handle? There had to be some sort of reasoning behind it.

I felt warm salty tears mix with the cold rain water on my face. I went to wipe them away, but trying to wipe away water with a wet hand never worked very well.

A bad feeling grew in me. I could be here for a while. I knew it would be stupid to leave while it was still raining. I'd only get sicker than I already was and more lost too. I couldn't afford either of those happening.

I was going to be a long day… night… time…

I sighed and watched and listened as the rain fell. I couldn't fall asleep. The truth was, I was terrified, just like every other time I tried to run away. I just never openly admitted it.

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It rained for a long time. A very long time. And that in turn gave me a very long time to think. While I was sitting under some rock formation in the middle of the jungle, there had to be someone back at the caves, or at the beach, who was just a bit worried about me.

And back home. My parents. I felt so guilty for leaving now. I must have torn their lives apart. With Ryan dead, and now me 'dead' too, I couldn't imagine what was going through their minds right now. Had it really been six months? Six months seemed like an awfully long time, but being lost and stuck on an island, time seemed to move quite slowly, or quickly. Actually, there was no really measure of time, except for the rise and fall of the sun, and those people who had working watches, and even those were just about worthless now.

A picture flashed in my mind of Charlie holding that gun, pointing it right at me, ready to shoot if it wasn't for pure exhaustion. I was scared, terrified. My life very well could have ended right there, at that very moment. But it didn't.

I had a strange feeling that that wasn't the first time I had faced death while here on this island. I didn't understand it.

What I did understand was that Charlie for some reason hate me, and the farther away from him I was, the better. But I couldn't just stay away from the only form of civilization here. How would I survive? My one arm didn't work, and I was a weak piece of shit to boot. And the best part of all this was, I was already getting hungry.

There was no way I could do this on my own. People, someone, somewhere, must have been worried about me, but I couldn't seem to grasp that concept as I slowly drifted off to sleep once more.

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Luckily, I had a dreamless sleep. But when I woke up, none of my muscles wanted to work, and I was not only soaked to the bone, but freezing cold too. Those two things were never a good combination.

The rain had yet to stop. I knew that no one would find me now, except by luck, and luck wasn't on my side right now. The rain had washed away my trail. I was up the river without a paddle. I had seriously fucked up.

My left arm was killing me and I was shivering like crazy. I had only a t-shirt and a pair of jeans on, and then one good arm to try to keep warm with.

This was gonna be the end. I knew that I was gonna die. Right here, under this damn thing. I probably would have fared better if I would have just stayed with everyone else. More salty tears fell down my freezing cold face.

I knew why I was crying, and for once it wasn't just about myself, but for everyone else. Now even if they got rescued, I wouldn't be with them and I could clearly see my parents there with all the other castaway's friends and family. Aerin was with them too. They were waiting for me. But I wouldn't be coming, and they just stayed there for such a long time. Everyone else had left and they stayed there, not wanting to believe that I was actually gone.

The thoughts made me so upset. Slowly, I was going to die and there was nothing I could to do stop it. I think that thought would be enough to make anyone upset.

Dream-Summer had been right. What was I good for other than trouble and heartache, and at the moment, I couldn't think of anything.

This was the end of everything. I just knew it. It was one of those bad feelings you could do absolutely nothing about. Maybe I was just over reacting, but who wouldn't over reacting in a situation like this one.

My eyes grew heavy as I began to feel weaker and more tired. It was at this moment that I noticed how weak and frail I actually was. I hadn't really eaten much since, well, wince before the crash and to think that I was small before was an understatement compared to now.

My stomach grumbled, as if yelling at me to eat and the harsh yet steady pounding of the rain was beginning to drive me slowly to insanity. But for some reason, it was relaxing at the same time.

That was the last thing I heard. Slowly, sleep began to pull at me, but I wouldn't fall asleep. I was afraid that if I did, I wasn't going to wake up again.

My eyes closed, but I didn't fall asleep. Maybe I did. I don't even know anymore.

But I did know that I felt someone picking me up like I was nothing more than air before I fell into a deep sleep.

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A/n: I hope that this was good. Tell me wacha think… review pwease!

The Pirate Illusionist - Haha. That is really funny actually, since I haven't watched the OC in a while. Stupid sickness, work, vacation… xD

alexis - I don't think I will, but I have changed the plot line in my head once again, so who the hell knows what is gonna happen if the author themselves isn't quite sure. Haha. And I don't hate you for trying, I just… I don't know what's going on in this story and I totally changed the plot of the sequel. xD.

GermanAbercrombieChick - Awesome!

paige fan - Haha. More Sethness. Yeah, the time frame is the same, it is just gonna get a little screwy and bumpy in the future, but we're trying to keep it the same. Haha. And I wont, I wanna write the sequel! And the sequel to the sequel!


	25. Permanent Goodbye

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n:

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"**Permanent Goodbye"**

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It was another two weeks later, and the snow had melted. We had actually gotten a full inch, and Summer took enough pictures to last the rest of our lives. It was the only good thing that came from Chrismukkah this year.

Aerin was coming in a week, which seemed to be the only good thing now. Summer visited here less and less. I had told her that Kirsten wasn't pissed, but she refused to believe me.

Kirsten was a lot more talkative since the holidays. She now insisted on closure. After a while, it had become annoying. She'd probably end up going to the memorial and saying goodbye. That would be the extent of her closure.

I walked out of the pool house, since I refused to take a room inside the house. Walking by Seth's room everyday was too much for me to handle. The pool house was better.

"What's the date you want to put on it?" I heard Sandy say as I lightly opened the door.

"I guess the date it...um..." Kirsten was answering. I didn't move away from the door. I didn't want them to see that I was eavesdropping.

"Crashed?" Now I understood what they were talking about. Kirsten and Sandy were getting a gravestone for Seth. That's what Kirsten was meaning by closure. I held my breath. I could believe they were completely giving up. I hadn't given up, none of us were, so why the hell were they?

"Yeah. That seems to be most likely when he died," Kirsten choked on the last word. I kept holding my breath and listening.

"Yeah. But what do you want to put on it? Maybe a saying? Like, 'Great son'?" I still couldn't believe what they were doing.

"Almost father?" Kirsten added.

"Kirsten..." Sandy warned.

"Sandy, his girlfriend is having his child, he's only eighteen, he died too young!" Kirsten was in tears and screaming at her husband. Now I felt really bad for eavesdropping.

"Calm down, Kirsten. We'll get through this. It's almost been six months. We've been through the roughest part of it, now this is the easier part," I was ready to walk in just so I didn't have to hear anymore of this.

"Burying our missing son and giving up that he's alive is easy? I don't think so, Sandy. Seth is gone, and he is our son. This is not near easy. It will never be easy. I want him back, but instead, we're setting up a gravestone for him," Kirsten seemed really pissed. I decided to go back to the pool house.

I grabbed the phone in there, and dialed Summer's cell phone.

"Hey," She said as I sat down on the bed. "What's up?"

"Can you come over?" I asked her. I really needed to talk to someone about this. This wasn't right. Seth was alive, he had to be.

"Um, I guess. Coop's with me, is that..." Summer started.

"That's fine. Just please come over," I told her. More people to vent to, the better. They could finally see me speak another mouthful.

"Okay, I love you," She said to me.

"Love you too," I didn't quite think about telling Summer I loved her. I had told her numerous times before. Before the accident. It was one of the last things I said to her before we crashed.

I didn't know where Summer exactly was, probably shopping. That's what she did best. After a few minutes, I got back up and decided to actually go in the house this time. Kirsten and Sandy were still sitting in the kitchen.

"Hey," I said as I finally walked in. I headed to the refrigerator and grabbed a drink.

"Hi," Kirsten mumbled and I saw that she had just stopped crying.

"What're you doing?" I wanted to see if they would tell me.

"Bills," Sandy answered without a pause or any uncertainty in his voice.

"Oh. Cool," I commented and the doorbell rang. I left my drink there and went to the door. I opened it and Summer and Marissa standing there. "Hey," I greeted them and kissed Summer. I saw Marissa stand there looking uncomfortable, and I knew why. I dated her and now I was sating her best friend. Yeah, that would be strange.

"So what do you wanna talk about?" Summer asked.

"It's something I overheard," I answered.

"Okay, so to the pool house. Wait, is Kirsten here?" Summer stopped. I knew why.

"Yeah, but..." I objected.

"Can we go around the back way?" Summer looked at me, begging-like.

"Fine," I gave in.

"Why are we going around the house?" Marissa asked, then I remembered. She wasn't here at Chrismukkah.

"Kirsten totally freaked out on me and now completely hates me," Summer put it in simple terms.

"Why weren't you here?" I wondered.

"She was with Alex," Summer was in a very gossipy mood today.

"You're still with her?" I remember the shock I had when I found out that my ex-girlfriend and Seth's girlfriend were dating each other. That was too weird.

"On and off," Marissa answered as we walked back to the pool house. Summer and Marissa sat down on the bed, staring up at me.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Summer asked.

"Well, Kirsten and Sandy are giving up on Seth being alive, and they're getting a gravestone, and Kirsten freaked out on Sandy, and now they're in there setting up what's gonna be said on it, and I think it's majorly stupid to do that, and really soon we're gonna have Seth dead and that he's never coming back, and it shouldn't happen and I need you guys to help me stop them," I rambled.

"Ryan...that made no sense," Summer told me bluntly.

"I'm not good at rambling, sorry," I didn't quite apologize.

"So what did you mean by all that?" Summer tried to keep up.

"I meant that Seth is getting a gravestone. And it's all over," I answered and sat on the bed next to them. They sat there silent for a moment, letting it all sink in.

"Aren't gravestones permanent?" Summer asked me. I looked at her.

"Yeah. That was partially my point," Maybe I shouldn't give Summer a whole lot of credit in the intelligence department.

"Right," She commented and Marissa continued to stay silent for now.

"Can we stop them somehow?" Marissa finally said a word in the pool house.

"I don't know. Kirsten's pretty adamant on it. She used to be the one who didn't want it," I couldn't believe how much life had changed. We were so different. All

of us had been part of the cause for Seth to leave. We all screwed him over.

This was our fault.

"Well, we can at least try. For Seth, I mean, I think he's still alive," Marissa exclaimed. I was with her. We had to try for the thought of Seth being alive.

"I don't know," Summer objected.

"About what?" Marissa began to argue.

"With trying to stop the gravestone," Summer looked really torn.

"You want them to get a gravestone?" I now asked Summer, blown away from her. She was always the most optimistic. And now, all of a sudden, she wasn't.

"No, I mean, yes," She couldn't make up her mind. "What I mean is, I know it's a great thought that Seth is alive, and it could be true, I'm not saying it isn't, but we have to think realistically. It's been almost six months. Nothing's been discovered. They've searched everywhere, and there is no sign of that plane. There is a possibility that they're on some deserted island you know, with coconut phones and huts, but honestly, that stuff doesn't happen. I want Seth to be alive, but do you guys really think he is?"

I didn't answer at first. I had to think about this. Seth was alive, he had to be. But what if he wasn't? What were we doing then? Putting all this false hope into a lie.

"Yeah, but he's our best friend. He shouldn't get a gravestone until we know he's really dead," Marissa argued after a moment.

"He ran away eight months ago, okay, he hated us. We made him leave, and he didn't want to do anything with us. We've been wishing he's gonna come back, but do you think he will? We're putting ourselves through hell for someone that may or may not be dead. Someone who believed we were all dead to him," Summer looked from me to Marissa, and now I got it. We had to let Seth go. If there was a hope that he was alive, there wasn't much.

"So we let Kirsten and Sandy go on with the gravestone," I announced after a few moments.

"I guess," Summer added.

"Then what happens after that?" Marissa wanted to know.

None of us did.

000000000000

It rained the day the 800 pound stone was laid in the ground. The ground was soft, and our feet sunk in it. None of us spoke as were stared at the slab of stone.

We were all dressed in black as we just looked at my brother's name etched in the stone.

I held the umbrella over me and Summer, whose head was resting on my shoulder. I looked down the long line and found not a single one of us were crying. We were emotionless, drained out.

This was the end of a huge chapter in our lives, it had unfortunately ended. I felt unfazed, like it wasn't actually happening. We had all said our goodbyes. I suppose the ones we said before this day were just temporary. Now we were done going through all the pain Seth caused us.

But he hadn't caused us pain. He made us laugh, smile. We had all lost that.

The rain was washing away someone we didn't want to go away. Seth was leaving our lives, and I knew, one day, he'd be just a memory for us all. We wouldn't be able to remember all the times he said something sarcastic, or the times he protected us. Or we protected him rather.

I guess I could say Seth was my only real friend. I had had friends in the past, but none as great as Seth. He knew the value of a friend. Sure, he overreacted about things and got pissed really fast, but he was still great.

I didn't know how much I missed him.

Slowly, people walked away, until it was only me, Summer, Kirsten, Sandy, and Aerin. You could tell Aerin was pregnant, way pregnant. I still was amazed that the kid would be Seth's.

He had left so much, so many people behind. He wouldn't know how we felt about him.

"Bye Cohen," Summer said again to the gravestone.

"See ya Seth," Then we walked away, leaving Aerin, Kirsten, and Sandy to their thoughts.

All the rain was flowing down the walkway, it was just a long stream of thoughts. It was all the goodbyes we had said. They were just headed to the sewer.

We met up with Marissa, Alex, Lindsay, Zach, Anna, and Luke in the parking lot, where we headed to the Cohens. Kirsten had invited every single person Seth ever possibly knew. There weren't many people there.

All eight of us then settled into the dining room table as caterers prepared food for the after party that was going to be held here. Of course there was a party, it was Newport.

"I can't believe he's gone," Luke commented. I hadn't seen Luke since the beginning of summer, when he hung out with us for a bit. We thought Seth being gone would be a two week thing. From two weeks to three months. We made bets once. As a joke. We were taking Seth being here for granted.

Everyone had lost. None of us had thought he'd be gone for as long as he was.

"Yep," Summer agreed. We didn't look at each other, we just stared at random objects for as long as we could.

"I wonder if he's happy," Marissa commented.

"How can he be happy? He's dead," Luke shot that down.

"I meant that if he is alive, he's happy wherever he is," Marissa told him.

"Oh," Luke answered.

"I was trying to remember a great memory with Cohen in it that didn't end up crappy, but there are none," Summer exclaimed.

"What about when we went to the L.A.?" Marissa suggested.

"You found about..."Summer nudged her head over to Luke.

"Oh, right," Marissa understood. I tried to think of a time when not everything fell apart. This was hard.

"How about the SnO.C.?" Lindsay commented. That was a relatively good time for me, but not for anyone else really. Maybe Marissa.

"I punched him," Zach ruined that.

"Summer, what about the time he stood on the coffee cart for you?" Anna now suggested. I remember Seth talking about that. I didn't pay attention that much to it then, but now, I did.

"That was a pretty good time. Except we broke up," Summer informed her.

"What about the model home?" Marissa looked over at me and smiled.

"Model home? What model home? I'm missing something here," Summer complained.

"Seth and me hid Ryan in a model home back when he first came here," Marissa told my girlfriend.

"Oh yeah, I remember that. Didn't it burn down?"

"Luke did that," I said.

"You helped," Luke argued.

"How so? You and your friends beat me up and left me for dead in a burning house," I couldn't find where I had been part of the problem.

"You were there in the first place," Luke defended and we laughed.

And then we were back to silence.

Once the party, if you could say party, was in full swing, we got a bit more friendly. I walked around, and Julie actually was nice to me. I got away fast before she could say anything more.

"Hey Ryan," I looked back and saw Anna.

"Hey," I greeted her.

"So, you and Summer are together?" Anna wanted information.

"Yeah, about eight months," I couldn't believe it was that long.

"Neat. I heard about your coma thing," I remembered that last time I saw Anna. It was two years ago, and I was with Theresa. Things had really changed.

"Yeah," I didn't quite like remembering being in that.

"How long was that?" She asked.

"Six weeks. Not as bad as Seth's going for," I commented.

"He'll come back," At least there was one person with a little optimism.

"Hope so. Are you staying in Newport long?" I asked.

"I want to, but I have school back in Pennsylvania. I just have this weekend off. I'm flying back tomorrow," Anna informed me.

"It was good seeing ya."

"Yeah, same here," And Anna walked away. I guessed it would be another two years before I saw her again.

I walked around some more, wading through the barely twenty people. Not many people knew Seth. I felt bad, seeing how many people were his friends. But they were his real friends, they cared about him, even if in the end, he didn't care about them.

Yeah, I had a feeling he'd come back.

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A/n: claps for Ali

alexis - Haha. Confusing. You mean it isn't confusing already? Hota ka!

paige fan - Who was that? No clue. Kidding. I have an idea for where this is going… why was she being chased by the police? Well, I don't wanna ruin the show for you, but it may have something to do with robbing a bank. wink

Harper's Pixie - I couldn't kill Charlie again! And thanks. Haha.

AME - oh wow. Thanks! And I am feeling a bit better, thanks.


	26. Saving Private Cohen

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie… The plot at the end belongs to the song "Sorry" by Gary Allan.

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: I have no bloody clue how this is gonna turn out.

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"**Saving Private Cohen"**

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It was warm. Too warm. But at least I wasn't cold anymore. No, it was quite the opposite. It felt like I was on fire. Everything was burning, but my head especially. I couldn't even open up my eyes it hurt so bad. But I knew one thing for sure.

I wasn't dead.

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_Grounding. That was all that I got. I wasn't allowed to do anything for three weeks. Come home right after school, no TV, computer, video games… Okay, maybe it was bad, but I had tried to run away. _

_But that wasn't the part that was the worst. Tomorrow was Monday, and Monday meant school, and school meant having to go back and face everything that I hated. That scared me more than facing the next three weeks staring at the ceiling. The things I used to let my anger out were gone. I was going to die._

_Monday came faster than I had hoped it would. Soon I found myself sitting in homeroom, acting as if nothing had happened. Acting like I did any other normal day. I just sat there, staring blankly into nothingness, knowing that no one would even acknowledge my existence. Sure it was saddening, but it was life._

_And life sucked._

_My eyes wandered around the room. The teacher wasn't paying attention to anything. Luke was flirting with Marissa. Those two never stopped. Sometimes I could see them looking out the window at the Cooper's backyard. The two were never apart._

_Holly was surrounded by just about everyone else, and some times they'd all look in my direction. That was how I knew they were talking about me. Talking about how pathetic I was probably. I sniffled slightly. Summer wasn't in my homeroom. She was the only one who knew, and she probably told everyone. _

_Wouldn't shock me._

_Sometimes I wondered why I loved her as much as I did. The answer was there was no answer. It was just unexplainable. And whenever I tried to convince myself that she was a stupid bitch, it never worked. She was just Summer Roberts, the dream girl I'd never have._

_I sighed just thinking about her. I was such a lovesick freak. Maybe I could go to the nurse, go home early. Summer was in all of my other classes, and I didn't think I could make it though the day._

_But I wasn't sick. There was no way I was going to be sent home._

_I was stuck in hell._

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Hell just about summed up how I felt right then and there. It was burning hot, everything was dark, I couldn't open my eyes because my head was in that much pain.

Not only that, but I was terrified about what I was going to see if I even opened my eyes. This was more like hell then school ever was. This seriously sucked a lot. I wanted to die more than ever right now. Just to make it all stop. I couldn't breathe without feeling pain. My nose was blocked up with something and my throat was dry and scratchy.

But I saw that mental image of mom and dad and Aerin waiting for me and I wasn't going to come back.

I had to live.

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_Summer didn't acknowledge me at all the entire morning. It was almost as if she had never seen me. I mean she had seen me right? I was sitting there, in the train station and she was walking by with her dad. I knew I wasn't seeing things._

_She must have forgotten, just like everything else that had anything to do with me, other than mocking me of course. _

_Lunch time always sucked. I sat alone, in the corner, inside. No one in their right mind ate inside, that was why I did it. I liked getting away from all those people that hated me. And besides, it was too hot outside, and there were bugs. I didn't want to swallow bugs instead of my food. _

_I took a bit out of the turkey and tuna sandwich and just looked around. It was just like at the train station. People had to walk right by to go outside, but it was as if I didn't exist. They walked right past. Life really did suck. I just didn't understand why mom and dad couldn't see that._

_Life was fine in Berkeley. I had friends there. But they probably forgot about me too. Everyone forgot about Seth Cohen, and I knew the sooner I realized that, the better off I would be. _

_I took another bite out of the sandwich. I didn't even like turkey and tuna, but I grabbed it by accident. And I was hungry. _

"_Uh… hey Seth," someone said, snapping me out of my daze._

_I turned my head to see Summer in all of her wonderful gloriousness. So she did know who I was. And she knew my name. I didn't know exactly what to say. She was talking to me. While she never mocked me, she wasn't the type to talk to me like I was a human being either._

"_H-h-hi Summer," I stuttered, putting the horrid sandwich back on the tray. I wasn't that hungry anymore. _

"_Mind if I sit?" she asked quietly, looking around. _

_I shook my head and she smiled and sat down. She looked really pretty today. She was wearing a dress, a purple dress with a matching headband in her hair. It was simple, not like all her other outfits, but this is the one that stuck in my memory._

"_Thanks," she smiled as she sat down next to me._

_This was really odd. I had never in a million years expected Summer Roberts to be sitting next to me eating lunch. Had I accidentally stepped into the Twilight Zone and not know it? No. That couldn't be right._

_It was silent for a while. Then she spoke up again. Her voice was quiet. "Seth, where were you going? On Saturday. You were going somewhere, weren't you?"_

_I looked down, not at her. So she did know it was me. I was so confused. _

"_Where were you going Seth?" she asked again. _

"_Home," I said quietly, not knowing what else to say._

"_Home?"_

"_Berkeley. Where I was from before Newport."_

"_Oh," she said quietly. There was some more silence. But it was soon interrupted, and not by what I wanted it to be by._

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A few coughs escaped me and each one burned more then the one before it. It burned all the way down from the back of my throat down. There was something stuck in there that didn't want to come out, that was for sure. I coughed some more (much to my dislike). Obviously my body didn't want it in there or it wouldn't be forcing itself to go through the horrible pain it was.

It hurt so bad but I just continued coughing, until I felt something cold and smooth being poured down my throat. What was it? Who was it? I was afraid to swallow it, but I didn't have much of a choice. It felt good going down.

The pain in my throat stopped as did the coughing. But it didn't make it any cooler. It was still hot as hell.

If not hotter.

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_The blaring fire alarms caused Summer to scream slightly. I wasn't at all worried about it. Law stated that there had to be one every month. I continued staring at the crap on my tray._

"_Seth, the fire alarm is going off, shouldn't we go," she said, getting up._

_I sat there for a bit longer. If there was any real danger, the door was right there. It was a stupid fire drill. Why waste my time? But the next thing I knew, Summer was pulling me up. And when Summer Roberts wants something, she gets it. _

"_It's just a drill," I said, knowing she wouldn't care as we walked outside. The sun was bright and standing right there, were Luke and all of his horrible people. I turned to try to get away from them as I heard them call out:_

"_Summer, what the fuck are you doing with queer ass Cohen?" he shouted. More people looked._

_Summer just looked at him as if he was a piece of shit. This totally wasn't happening._

_I turned to go away again, but someone grabbed me hard. "Where are you going?"_

"_Nowhere," I said, angrily, trying to force his grip off of me, but it still hurt. "Let go of me Lee."_

_It only made them all laugh. And it figured that there were no teachers around. And people just liked to watch other people harass other people. _

_I looked at Summer, who was now right next to Marissa, who of course did nothing to stop her boyfriend. Bitch. It was amazing how different Summer was just a few seconds ago. Now she was back to being the person who didn't know I existed. _

_I won't lie, it hurt. _

_More than the punch that hit me in the face. Ow. I didn't do anything. It would only make things worse._

"_Won't even fight back. Stupid queer," Luke said as he punched me again. _

_Summer just stood there. I wanted to cry, but that would be stupid. Really stupid._

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I could feel myself wanting to fade back into unconsciousness, but I hurt so much, and everything was so horrible, I felt like I was going to die if I did. But I was so… not with it. It wouldn't make much difference.

Slowly, everything faded away.

Until I sharp pain in my left arm pulled me out of it. I managed to let out a groan, it hurt so bad, I needed some sort of vocalization of that.

"Shhh," I heard someone say. The voice wasn't nasty or harsh, it just was, if that made any sense. My eyes opened slightly and I could just make out a blurry figure doing something to my arm.

I tried to ask them what they were doing but it didn't come out right, so I used as little syllables as possible to get my point across. It hurt to even speak a little bit. I had to think first, and it made me even more dizzy. "Arm. Doing what?"

The voice laughed. It was a nice laugh. "Shhh. I'm just trying to help."

My eyes closed again. While I didn't full believe whoever it was, it wasn't like I could protest. I felt another coughing fit coming. I coughed and it hurt. As soon as I started coughing, I felt my arm being slowly placed onto the ground and my mouth was forced open.

That is a scary experience, let me tell you, but the cool liquid (which I decided to be water because I wouldn't let myself think it was anything else) falling down my throat made everything seem a bit better.

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_When a teacher finally did come to stop Luke and Lee from beating the living shit out of me, they sent me to the nurse. The nurse insisted I go home._

_I didn't want to go home. I sat in the office with an ice pack against my eye from where Luke originally punched me. Luke and Lee passed many times, flipping me off every time, or just pointing and laughing. And there was nothing I could do since the nurse was watching me like a hawk._

_But dad came and picked me up, he kept asking if I was okay, but I never answered him, I just ignored him._

_The car ride home was filled with dad trying to convince me to talk, for me to tell him what happened. I just stared at the window with the ice pack on the shiner that Luke had given me. That had to be the worst car ride ever. _

_That was why I nearly ran into the house when we got home._

_My mom rushed up to me as soon as I came in. "Are you okay honey?" she asked, pulling the ice pack away long enough to look at the black and blue mark around my eye. She pulled me into a hug. _

_I hated it. They go all "you're grounded" on me and then suddenly I get hurt and it's like everything was okay again. But it wasn't. It never was gonna be okay. Not until we leave Newport and go back to Berkeley. That would be when everything would me okay._

_I squirmed out of her grasp. "SETH EZIKEL COHEN, WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?" I heard my father shout as I headed up the stairs towards my bedroom. I didn't stop. I didn't turn around. I just kept going. _

"_SETH!"_

_I slammed the door one I got on the other side of it and locked it. I just wanted to be left alone. I curled up on my bed and grabbed Captain Oats. _

"_Hey Captain Oats," I said quietly, a smile forming on my face. "Life here sucks, don't you agree?" I asked, as some tears started falling. I hated it here. I wanted to leave so badly. And to think for those few minutes with Summer in the cafeteria, my life seemed bearable._

_Bull shit. _

_The plastic horse didn't respond. "I wish I could just get away. I hate it here. And mom and dad can't seem to get that."_

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I felt the cool liquid now being poured on my head. It felt good. Especially since I was so freaking hot. I took a few deep breaths then managed to get out a "Thank… you…"

"Shhhhhh," was all I got in response. I was to afraid to open my eyes. It made everything all worse, and made me even more confused. I relaxed again as a sharp pain returned to my arm. I don't know how it was that I relaxed, I just did.

They must have thought I was out, because I heard two distinctly different voices holding a conversation. One was the voice from before. The only problem was I didn't recognize either of them.

"Is he gonna live?" YES. I was going to live. I couldn't afford to die. Then I'd really be dead, and not just dead in everyone's minds.

"Yes," the other voice said. I was relieved. "It may take a while before everything is fine with him though. He looks like he's been through the wringer."

I wanted to laugh. Who talked like that anymore? But whoever they were, they were helping me, and it was because of them that I was alive.

"He's been in and out of consciousness," the voice from before explained. "I was afraid that I almost lost him before. But he's talkative, trying to talk already."

"He shouldn't be talking, and you know that!" the other voice said angrily.

"Sorry," the first voice said sympathetically. I felt kinda bad, but I needed some answers.

"But the fact that he is talking shows something… you gave him the medication?"

"Yes…"

Medication, was that why I was so sleepy? I wanted so badly to hear the rest, but I was so tired, so exhausted, that I actually did fall asleep.

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_I woke back up. It was cold. I was no longer burning hot. Quite the contrary, it was freezing. I didn't recognize where I was. It wasn't the island, it wasn't Newport, it was cold, and it was wooded. Heavily wooded. And there was white stuff all over the ground. It took me a while until I realized that it was snow. _

_Snow. Cold. Woods. This wasn't making any sense. _

"_Seth?" I heard someone ask. _

_I turned around quickly and found myself face to face with Anna. ANNA? I didn't know what came over me, but I grabbed her and hugged her so tightly._

"_Seth, I can't breathe."_

"_Sorry," I said quietly, letting her go. I realized that while she was all bundled up, I was still in the t-shirt and jeans that I had taken out of someone's suitcase from the plane crash. Things were getting really confusing now._

"_What are you doing in Pittsburgh Seth? Better question," she chuckled, "What are you doing in a t-shirt in the middle of winter?"_

_I didn't know exactly how to answer that, so I didn't, I just shrugged._

_She smiled, "Well, you can come to my house, warm you up. Then we can go hang out with Summer and Ryan, how does that sound?" Wait, Ryan? Wasn't Ryan dead?_

"_What are they doing here?"_

"_They came to visit, just like you obviously did," she smiled. I had missed her so much, and didn't even realize it. _

"_Okay," I said, and before I knew it, I was being pulled through the snow covered wooden forest towards some little cabin type thing. It looked cozy. She pulled me into the door and closed it. The warmth (as much as I hated it) was welcomed to the cold. _

_I looked around as Anna took off all of her layers. "This is nice," I commented, not quite sure of what else to say. _

"_Yeah, I still live here. I didn't have the heart to move out," she admitted. "Sit down."_

_I walked over to one of the chairs and sat down._

"_So what's new with Seth Cohen."_

"_I was on a plane and it crashed, and I was am… are stuck on a desert island."_

"_That's nice," Anna said, as if she was totally oblivious to what I had just said. _

"_So I take it you know that Ryan and Summer are the 'it' couple now," I asked._

"_Yep," she said laughing slightly. "You didn't seem to take it to well, did you?"_

_I shook my head, and looked down at the floor. This was so odd. "Well, I hope that things work out for you Seth, wherever it is that you are."_

"_Thanks?" I said, not quite sure of what else to say. This was so unAnna-like. Then again, this was some strange world, that made no sense, so that was bound not to make any sense either._

"_So are you ready to go hang out with Summer and Ryan, or are you still sore about it?"_

_I shook my head once again. "Let's guy."_

_The next thing I knew, we were somewhere else. It looked like some sort of club, with a bowling alley in it. The four of us were bowling and I wondered how I got there so fast. But I learned not to question some of the strange shit that went on. Some things were just meant to make no sense._

"_Sorry Cohen," Summer said as Ryan went up to bowl._

"_What are you sorry for?" I asked._

"_Doing that to you, getting you so upset that you wanted to run away. I didn't mean to make you so upset, it's just that Ryan was always there for me, and…"_

"_Don't go on," I said, shaking my head, not wanting to remember what had happened. _

"_I meant to say it right after it happened, but everything happened so fast, and you just left. But I think that Ryan and I are going to break up. I think he's cheating on me."_

"_Oh," was all that I could say. Why was she telling me this now? "I'll uh, be right back." I got up._

"_You're gonna miss your turn Cohen," Summer said._

"_Bowl for me."_

_I walked over to the concession stand. This place was seriously screwed up. Why were we bowling? I hated to bowl._

"_How may I help you," the lady asked. I recognized her immediately._

"_Aerin?" I nearly shouted._

"_Seth?" she asked. I nodded. "You've got to be kidding me. What are you doing here?"_

"_I could ask you the same question," I said. _

_She walked out from behind the counter. She looked so beautiful, even if she was wearing some horrible uniform. You couldn't hide beauty._

_I wrapped my arms around her. She giggled and returned the sentiment. I leaned in and kissed her. I couldn't believe that I was surviving as well as I had been without her. She was the one thing on the island that I missed more than Captain Oats. "I love you Seth," she whispered._

"_I love you more."_

"_No, I love you morer." We both laughed. This stupid chitchat was one of the things I loved about her. _

_I went to kiss her again, but was interrupted. "COHEN!" Summers shrill shouting reached my ears. _

_Aerin laughed. "You seem to be busy."_

_I shook my head. "I'm never busy anymore." I replied, not really knowing why I said that as I dragged Aerin over towards Summer. "Look who I found," I laughed. _

"_Who the hell is she Cohen?" Summer asked, sounding so… Summerlike._

"_My girlfriend, Aerin. Aerin this is Summer, Summer this is Aerin," I introduced them to each other._

"_Nice to meet you," Aerin said._

"_Yeah, same," Summer said, then she turned to look at me. "So, she's your girlfriend then. Well, I want you to choose now. Her or me."_

_I looked at her strangely. And then looked at Aerin. "Have you been fooling around on me Seth?" she asked angrily._

"_No! I just…" but I was cut off by Summer. _

"_CHOOSE COHEN!" _

_I looked around. The bowling alley was now empty. Where were Ryan and Anna? I was so lost. _

_I looked between Aerin and Summer. "Cohen!" Summer said angrily._

"_Sorry," I said quietly, as I grabbed Aerin by the arm and led her outside. _

"_Damn it Cohen, this isn't the end!" Summer shouted after me. _

_Aerin just looked confused as the door slammed. "Sorry about her," I apologized. "She's an old friend."_

"_Oh," she said. Then she looked around. "It's snowing Seth," she said with a huge smile now spreading across her face._

_I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it before. It was snowing. Quite nicely too. "It's so beautiful," Aerin said, just staring at it._

"_It is, isn't it?" _

_This was just seemingly perfect in every possible way. _

"_I love you morest," I whispered in her ear, as we both just stood there and listened to the sound of the snow falling._

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

I woke up with a start, and began coughing again, but this time there was no relief from the cold water. And I wasn't burning hot any more, but freezing cold.

But I couldn't wipe the grin off my face. Everything was going to be okay. Just as long as I got over this horrid sick feeling all over my body.

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A/n: Sorry if that was really confusing, but that is what I do. I confuse the hell out of people, then explain everything. I do hope that you liked this chapter, it was supposed to be different, but I wanted to write flashbacks and scary dream sequences so badly. Haha. Tell me what you think!

Thanks to the reviewers:

Harper's Pixie Awwww, it was tear jerking, wtg Ali!

alexis haha! It's only been six months… its gonna be a while yet.

paige fan But I have a feeling that that isn't the whole story. I don't think we'll ever know the whole story. But here was a Sethness! Hope you enjoyed!


	27. Head On Fears

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie… The plot at the end belongs to the song "Sorry" by Gary Allan.

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Sorry about the wait… somebody didn't feel like writing. Teehee.

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"**Head On Fears"**

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Four months had passed, and I was growing horribly impatient at the time. Aerin's mother had called all the way from Australia. I was gonna be a grandmother from my dead son.

Most of the time we didn't talk about Seth, it still hurt. I had for the most part, calmed down. Ryan was still here, Summer was also. And yes, I apologized to Summer. Since the funeral, I had been numb.

Anticipation was killing me. I was going insane. Sandy was out surfing, and Ryan and Summer had gone out for the day. So I was home, stuck with being murdered by anticipation.

My thoughts drifted off to Seth, like they did a million times a day. It had almost been a year since I last saw him. Only two months shy. Where had the time gone? Ten months had just flown by since I last saw Seth driving away.

That moment haunted me everyday. Why the hell hadn't I stopped him? Or, as Sandy asked me, "Why the hell are you tormenting yourself over it?"

I checked the clock. Two hours passed since Eliza called me. When would anyone get home? I could hear a door open, and I jumped up, seeing who was there. Ryan and Summer had walked in, looking happy. I grinned because I knew something.

"Finally!" I exclaimed and hugged Ryan. He had a look of utter confusion on his face, as did Summer. They hadn't seen me smile in way too long.

"Hi Kirsten..." Ryan greeted me.

"Guess what?" I asked them as they continued to be confused.

"What is it?"

"Aerin's mom just called me and told me Aerin is having the baby," Finally, I let it out. Suspense was building up inside me. Had Aerin had the baby?

"That's great," Ryan clearly wasn't as excited as I was.

"When will we be able to see the baby?" Summer looked a bit more excited.

"I'm not sure, but she mentioned possibly us coming to Australia," We hadn't talked for long, and she had invited us to come. Meaning me, Sandy, Ryan, and Summer. Summer had become a daughter to me again.

"Australia, very cool," Summer commented.

"You'll have to tell me how that is," Ryan walked into the kitchen.

"You're not gonna go?" I asked him.

"We're gonna have to go on a plane. That means heights. I hate planes, and unfortunately, Seth is dead because of one," Ryan explained. I hadn't even thought of that. How could I go on a plane when that's how my son died? How did Aerin do it? She had been on a plane three times after the crash. How can she?

"Right," I realized the problem. Crap. Could we take a boat? Then maybe we can look for the plane. We had just as much luck at finding the plane than everyone.

"It's been ten months. You guys should go. Brave the plane," Summer told us.

"You'll come too," I knew she was still afraid of me. I could understand that. My dad scares everyone I knew. To an extent.

"I will?" Summer was surprised.

"Yeah. Ryan'll need you," I joked. I could see the fear in Ryan's eyes about flying. I only knew he had flown once. To get Seth. Guess that wouldn't happen ever again.

"Oh, cool. When are we leaving?" Summer smiled.

"I have to talk to them first," I hoped I would hear from the Jenkins soon. I could wait to see my grandchild. Though it would've been nicer if I could see my son.

"Well, that's neat," Summer looked dismayed. I left them and sat back down. I had suddenly lost my emotion again. Something was pulling me down. Seth.

Why could he be here? He was going to be a father. And he wasn't even alive. This had to be almost the most depressing day. I missed Seth so much.

"You okay Kirsten?" Ryan came up next to me. I looked over to him.

"Yeah, fine. I just miss him," I gave in and told him. He sat down next to me.

"Yeah, so do I," Summer had disappeared somewhere and I wondered where she was.

"Do you still think he could come back?" Our hope for Seth being alive was almost diminished.

"Maybe. There's a possibility," Ryan said the same thing we always answered.

"You know, I don't even think there's a possibility anymore. His child is being born and he's dead," I commented and felt all hope fly away from me. The idea of Seth alive was all gone.

I couldn't even remember the last real conversation we had. Every day before he, we were drifting. I had been so consumed in my own problems that I had forgotten about Seth. I tried talking to him, but we never had a conversation other than at the dinner table.

"There's still hope," I could tell Ryan didn't know what to say.

"Sure," I added and turned the television. Where had all that hope and happiness in me gone? It just disappeared, and left me to the disturbing thoughts.

The phone rang and I reluctantly pulled myself up to answer it.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hi Kirsten," Eliza's Australian accent brought back some of the joy.

"How's Aerin?" I had to know if I was a grandmother or not.

"She had it!" Eliza exclaimed and an elation like no other flooded through me. I had a grandchild. Seth was a dad.

"Oh my gosh, that's wonderful," I could feel tears protruding from my eyes and I tried to quell them, but it didn't work.

"I know. It's a boy," I wondered if Seth's kid looked anything like Seth. If he had Sandy's luck, the child did look like him. Seth looked so much like Sandy, it sometimes used to scare me.

"When can we visit?" I knew it would be hard to get on a plane, but I just had to see the baby.

"It doesn't matter when," Eliza told me.

"I'll talk to my husband tonight. Hopefully we can come by next week. How does that sound?" I asked her.

"That sounds great. Call me when there's a date," Eliza commented.

"Okay, sure. I'll talk to you later, Eliza," I hung up and sighed. I _was_ a grandmother. Ryan was an uncle. My dad was a great-grandfather. Sandy was a grandfather. Julie was a step-great-grandmother.

She would not be happy about that.

"Who was that?" Ryan asked me as I came back with a smile on my face and sat down next to him and Summer.

"Eliza. Aerin had the baby," I was still grinning.

"Oh my gosh, that is so cool. When are we going to see them?" Summer yelled with joy.

"I don't know, I have to talk to Sandy," I couldn't wait until he got home.

"Oh cool. I can still go, right?" Summer was a lot more interested than Ryan.

"Of course," I answered and smiled at her. I felt bad for what I had said to her months ago. I still don't know what I was thinking.

"Cool. Isn't that great, Ryan?" I looked over at my now only con, who looked petrified.

"Yeah, sure. Can we go on maybe a boat?" Ryan asked and I couldn't help but laugh. Summer laughed too.

"Well, it would be a lot longer and maybe we can go on a cruise ship. That would be neat," Summer was off.

"I think we should go on the plane. Face our fear," I informed them.

"Fears for Ryan," Summer teased my son and I tried to remember when we officially dubbed Seth as ran away.

It had been that same night he left, and I checked upstairs for Seth. He hadn't been there, and I hadn't worried. But I still called him on the phone. No answer. I still didn't worry.

Sandy and I weren't on speaking terms and I had avoided him at all costs. That night was full of tears. I remembered calling take out and seeing Summer and Ryan walking in. She had an ice pack to the back of her head, and Ryan had one to his eye. I had stared at them strangely, they hadn't told anyone they were a couple yet.

I didn't remember how I made it through that dinner. I had been so confused and out of the loop. Everyone knew something. Something they did not want to talk about.

Seth hadn't returned my call, and I guessed he was with Alex. So I called the Bait Shop. And got the number from some person named Mandy.

"Hello?" I remembered jumping when I heard Marissa's voice.

"I'm sorry, Marissa. I must've called the wrong number," I had said, trying not to sound embarrassed.

"Are you looking for Alex?" Marissa had asked.

"Yeah. Um, Marissa, is Seth there?" I begun to get worried.

"No, sorry," The rest of the conversation was a blur and I remembered for the next two months trying to contact Seth, without any luck.

We had been dead to him, and now he was dead to us.

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I fumbled with my seatbelt. I felt like I was gonna puke. At least it would stop me from going.

I glanced over at Sandy, who was completely calm. But I knew he wasn't. He was just good at not showing it. We were holding hands, each of us squeezing harder and harder. Our hands would be numb in a matter of minutes.

Summer's laughter floated into my head. I also knew this was difficult for her, but she was the best at not showing it. She was laughing at Ryan, who looked worse than I probably did.

Either Ryan really was this afraid, or he was just trying to make us laugh and feel better. I chose the first. Ryan looked as though he was face to face with death. Hell, we all might be. But Ryan looked severely sick.

"I can't do this," He exclaimed and all three of us glared at him.

"Ryan, breathe," Sandy told his almost shaking son. I couldn't give any advice since all of mine was obviously not working.

"Yeah, if anything happens, you have me," Summer became serious.

"No offense, Sum, but I need more than you," I felt horrible for Ryan. What must be going through his head?

"Then..." Summer began to rummage through her bag and dropped a lilac My Little Pony in Ryan's hand. "Princess Sparkle will help you."

I laughed at seeing Ryan with the small plastic horse, and thoughts ran to me. Suddenly I remembered that birthday, Seth's sixth, giving Captain Oats to him. His smile when he grabbed it, the laughter that came from Sandy and my mouth.

Now thinking about that little horse, I regretted giving it to Aerin. I could try to get it back, but that would make me an Indian Giver. At that point, I didn't care. I wanted it back.

"Summer, I don't think this will help," Ryan informed her.

"She helps me through a lot. And it's a she," I still couldn't understand how Ryan and Summer made it as a couple. They couldn't be more opposite. But so were me and Sandy. How did Ryan and Summer work so well together? For a while, Ryan was meant to be with Marissa, and Summer with Seth.

But it turned into Ryan and Summer, Seth and Aerin, and Marissa with Alex.

"Sorry, but it's a little weird to be 19 and have a plastic horse," I couldn't help but laugh at the two arguing about a plastic horse. Yet inside I was incredibly scared. My son died on a plane just like this. It felt similar to the first time going in a car after Ryan and Summer's accident. Both of them avoided talk about it. The scars ran too deep. All our scars ran too deep.

We had been through so much, _too_ much. I tried to be happy, and I showed it to everyone, but inside, I was dying.

Almost a year had gone by since Seth left us. Left our lives, and everything fell apart.

I remember trying to be brave at the kids' graduation. All four of them were supposed to graduate, but yet, I only saw three.

Ryan was one of the first to get his diploma. We photographed his emotionless face, and I was so proud of him. Two years ago, a graduation had been uncertain for him. And there, as he stood in front of all of Harbor School, I knew he made it.

Since Seth left so late in the year and we all thought he would come back, an empty seat took his place. They told us if he did come back, he could graduate with everyone, he just wouldn't get a real diploma. His grades were exceptional, they knew he could pass finals.

That empty seat glared at me, harassing me silently. Marissa was sitting next to that empty seat, and when she got up, I could only imagine Seth getting up in front of her. I knew he would be rambling, making her laugh in the last moments of high school.

Instead, Marissa put on her biggest fake smile she could muster. We all did.

Summer was later in the ceremony, and she didn't even attempt to smile. I barely made out a few tears glisten her face.

After the ceremony, we all met them. I was bawling by that point, hugging them all. I didn't know what emotion was overruling the other, joy or sadness.

We took pictures of the graduates, they were smiling. But were any of us actually smiling on the inside? Seth had just left our lives, and none of us knew for how long.

And it turned out to be forever.

I came back into the present and found Summer, Ryan and Sandy deathly quiet, my hand numb, and the plane about to leave.

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A/n: Okay, so that was it. I hope you liked it… and please review.. lurkers are EVIL! Only two reviews! Come on guys!

alexis Teehee, I know the last part was confusing. I like writing confusing stuff…

The Pirate Illusionist and people don't believe me when I say I ship Summeran!

And I decided to add a teaser for the next chapter:

_I had yet to utter a word since that original conversation I had with… whoever that was. And that seemed like a long time ago. I don't think I had ever gone that long without talking._

That don't help at all…

"Ze dolphin is dead, did you know this? Died in a car accident!" Dom as Hans Jensen… RotK:EE Easter Egg


	28. No Longer Needed

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Sorry this took so long, I wrote... other things. xD

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"**No Longer Needed…"**

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It took a while for me to start feeling better. It helped when I realized that whoever it was that was holding me had me covered in some sort of thick blanket (which I stubbornly kicked off every time they tried to put it back on me once I realized what it was). Then I would get extremely cold. I had yet to utter a word since that original conversation I had with… whoever that was. And that seemed like a long time ago. I don't think I had ever gone that long without talking.

I continued to have freaky dreams about everyone back at home. I hadn't had any of those… since before I could remember. I mean, I think I had them, I had a feeling I had them, but I don't remember having them.

It made me even more homesick.

So to get my mind off of the homesickness, I tried to figure out the things that always used to bug me, but that I never took the time to look up. Like, how do erasers really work? I mean I knew how they worked, just not how… they worked.

A sigh escaped me as I attempted to sit up. I had done it many times before and lying flat on my back never was a comfortable position.

After a few seconds, I did manage to sit up totally, and crossed my legs so I was sitting the way we used to in Elementary School. What did they call it… 'Indian-style' or something like that.

A brief dizzy spell came over me, but I managed to stay upright as someone came rushing over to me and sat down next to me.

I just looked at her as she looked at me. "Feeling better?" she asked me. She sounded familiar.

I shrugged, pretty sure that she was the one that I had gotten in trouble before.

She giggled. I didn't know why she giggled though. Hopefully she'd answer me soon enough.

Luckily she did.

"Over a week ago, you were talking even though you felt like crap, now you look better, you act better, but you refuse to talk. Why?"

I would have burst out laughing, but I somehow limited it to a chuckle. "I don't know," I liked. Wow. That was a weird feeling. Talking. I hadn't talked in over a week. Wow.

"Oh, so you can talk," she laughed. I didn't laugh back, but obviously this was the person that I got in trouble before, unless I had been so out of it that I made it all up. "We were getting worried. You seemed to be recovering nicely, except for the fact that you didn't say a damn thing…"

Wait. We?

I think she got the point just by the look I gave her. "It was raining, and you were hurt. My husband found you…"

If anything I was even more confused now than I was knowing nothing. Slowly, I leaned back, but gravity did its job, because I wasn't strong enough to fight it, and I fell down, hard.

"Ow," I said, flinching slightly when my head slammed against the ground. It sucked.

"Are you okay?" the girl asked, giggling slightly. Enough with the giggling, geeze!

"No." I said, not sure of what else to say. It hurt, but the pain was already starting to go away.

"You sure?"

"No."

She laughed… again. "Well, glad you're feeling good… uh…" Don't tell me, she didn't know my name. Before she had the chance to ask me, I answered for her.

"Seth."

"Well, glad you're feeling better Seth," she smiled, before walking away. Damn it.

"Wait!" I shouted after her. All these questions were flowing through me. Slowly, I forced myself up, only to go back to one handedly, after realizing that there was a slight burning sensation. Wait, slight? It didn't burn like hell anymore.

She turned around and just looked at me. "Yes Seth?"

"What the fuck is going on?" I asked, just voicing everything in my mind in one simple sentence.

She giggled. "You'll see." And with that she left, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

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More time passed, but it wasn't days, it wasn't even hours, it was more like… minutes. But long minutes. I got bored, and was sick and tired of looking at the inside of this cave type thing I was in. Using the wall, I got up.

It took longer, and used more energy than I would have hoped. I already had a feeling that being here was not good. There was something odd about this place.

"Well, you're standing…" it was the girl. "That is a much better sign." She was smiling. I didn't understand why.

I simply looked at her.

"You're going to be fine Seth…" That didn't answer anything. "You're gonna get tired, but there is one last thing, that I have to do, you can join me if you wish."

By the tone of her voice, it was more of a demand than an invitation. And it wasn't as if I had anything better to do.

So I nodded.

"You're gonna get tired…" she said.

I nodded once more.

"Then follow me."

I did.

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I was exhausted. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't think the girl did either. And whenever I tried to ask her a question, she danced around the answer.

"Libby," I said, since that was her name, "Where are we going?"

She just looked at me and laughed. "You're leading the way, no?"

What was she going on about? I wasn't leading, I was following her. Or was I? Hell, she had me so confused, that not even I knew what I was doing.

I was walking around, totally exhausted, because Libby told me that what she had to do was very important. That was the only reasoning behind it.

"You know where you are, don't you?" she asked, after more walking in silence. I looked around. It did look familiar from somewhere. It all stopped when I heard talking. It sounded familiar.

"Shhhhhh," Libby said, pulling me down to the ground. I didn't have the energy to stay squatting, so I fell to the ground. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, and was more of a relief than anything else.

"Shhhhhh," she hissed again.

I couldn't understand what the voices were saying, but it all sounded so familiar. The mumbling I heard. Curiosity took over me, against my better judgment, and I crawled over towards some of the bushes we were 'hiding' behind.

Libby said nothing, she did nothing as I looked for some clues. The voices were getting louder… and clearer.

If only I had realized sooner where I was.

"I know you're upset, but he's gone!" said a man in a clear British accent. Charlie. That guy hated me, and I didn't know why.

"Charlie's right. Even Locke said, he can't survive on his own. Its been almost a week and a half Claire, he's gone."

I couldn't tell who that was. It sounded familiar, but I didn't know from where.

"You two lose faith too quickly," the Australian voiced quickly. I knew that was Claire's voice. Still sounded so much like Aerin. So much.

"Not faith, but its common sense Claire. His arm was broken, it was raining, there is no chance that he's alive." I looked down at my arm. Had it really been broken? It didn't feel like that right now. Not at all.

I wanted so baldy to jump out of the bushes and run towards them and scream, "I'M RIGHT HERE!" But a soft hand on my shoulder reminded me that I wasn't alone.

"He's lived through worse…" I heard Claire say. What was that supposed to mean? I survived the crash, yeah, but this is the only thing that I had 'survived' what was she talking about?

There were no more words spoken. They must have been walking away. I never even saw them, but I heard them. I looked at Libby. So this was what she was supposed to do? Wasn't it?

"I'm sorry Seth," she said quietly.

"No… you're not," I replied. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was no longer needed. They were doing just fine without me, I wasn't needed there anymore. Besides, there were only two people who even gave a shit about me, and it would only be a matter of time…

We weren't gonna get rescued, I knew that much. Why be around people who hated me? People who didn't trust me, didn't believe me? That was why I went to Sydney in the first place, that was why I ran away from Charlie, Claire and Jack. That was why I was here, not there with them.

I just looked at her before slowly forcing myself up. I wasn't needed any more. Not there anyways.

"Are you sure Seth?" she asked.

I nodded.

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A/n: As you can tell, I hate Jack… and angry Charlie is fun to write! Sorry this took so long… Thanks to the reviewers! 6! Thanks for reviewing!

AME hah

Harper's Pixie isn't it the greatest!

paige fan ordinary. I'm 98 sure. Who is on the island is on the island… no one is gonna join them.

salvory aren't they though?

alexis No, that is not gonna happen… because… I love Seth… and I wouldn't do that.

The Pirate Illusionist I know! That is like… in two days!… and thanks

So… what have I been doing instead of writing this chapter? Writing ahead of course. Haha. I have a tendency to do that. So here is some of what I wrote as a little teaser:

_I forced a laugh out. I wanted to go home so bad, but there was someplace that I had to go first. "Turn… turn left up here."_

_I took a deep breath. I couldn't believe I was going through with this. Wait? Where exactly was I looking for? Sawyer pulled in. _

"_You live in a graveyard?" Sawyer asked. I just glared at him and he laughed. _

LURKERS BITE! Please review! Even if it is just to let me know that you exist! xD


	29. Donnie

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Blah. Back to Kiki… because Ali is such a better writer than I am.

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"**Donnie"**

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I began to hyperventilate. I knew the chances of this plane crashing were slim, but those had been the chances for Seth. And where was he? I reminded myself sarcastically.

We all remained quiet as the attendants told us the procedure and such that. I had heard it a million times, but this time it mattered. Because I felt that death might be looming in front of us.

I had been on a plane tons of times, my father used to take me and Hailey everywhere. We traveled the world, went to exotic places, and I found none of it really interesting until I met Sandy. Going places was so much more fun with him. He made it exciting. I loved going places with him. But this time, not much could made me feel better about going on a plane.

Except luckily, my family. I knew nothing else would have gotten me on here, except this.

If they were there, I felt okay. I needed to have them. How could anyone just leave everyone so alone? Seth had done it a few times, running away from us. And he died because of it. But the worst part about that was that he was coming _home,_ not leaving home. What must he have felt in those last moments of life? He died alone, without anyone to hold. Aerin hadn't even been there.

The thought of Seth dying alone made me want to throw up more than I already did.

"Breathe, honey," Sandy pulled me into what was happening. The attendants were gone and I felt the plane move. Oh God. I didn't want to do this.

"Ryan! Give me back Princess Sparkle! You're squeezing her to death!" Summer squealed and both me and Sandy glared at the two. Ryan looked positively sick, and poor Princess Sparkle was getting the brute of it.

"She's not real," Ryan argued and I wondered what would calm him. I couldn't think of anything.

"I don't care!" Summer yanked the plastic horse away from Ryan, and held it close. She gave Ryan a strange look, and none of this was helping him.

"Close your eyes and imagine ground," I attempted, hoping it would help me feel more secure on the plane. He followed orders and closed his eyes, and soon enough, it seemed to help him.

I was so wrapped up in Ryan that we were almost done getting all the way up. I had gotten through maybe one-thirtieth of the trip.

I noticed that I wouldn't dwell on the flight if I thought of other things, like Ryan was doing. It definitely was working for him; some color came back to his face. Summer was masking her feelings, like she always did. I looked over to Sandy, and found him trying to sleep. That would probably be the best bet at not thinking of the plane crashing.

Shutting my eyes, I tried to think of nothing. But my head was just too busy. There were too many thoughts. Maybe I could count sheep. 1, 2, 3... I wonder what Aerin was doing. Counting sheep was not going to work. My mind kept drifting off to other things.

I decided to think of everything except the flight and Seth dead. I had a lot of leniency there.

Like it would actually work.

I kept envisioning Seth on this flight next to me. I wanted to hug him, but I was stuck to my place. I wanted to scream, but my voice was gone.

And so was he.

My eyes fluttered open, and I looked around at my settings. We were still on the plane, and everything was going smoothly. I could breathe.

Sandy and Ryan were out, and when I checked on Summer, her head was resting on Ryan's shoulder.

It was pretty cute.

I looked at my watch. We were almost done with the flight. How long had I slept? It hadn't felt like any time had passed at all.

My mind had developed a defense mechanism. Whenever I got too depressed about my son dead, it immediately reverted back to a good memory of Seth. This time, it was Seth's first time on an airplane. He had been so small, and so adorable. He acted nothing like Ryan did, rather, Seth was excited. We always took him on trips that involved flying. He didn't mind it at all. Though the attendants did. Seth bothered them every time they came by, begging for a pack of peanuts. His jacket was stuffed with them.

A thought burst into my head. If me and Sandy hadn't taken Seth on airplanes so much, he'd be more difficult to get on a plane. Then he wouldn't have flown to Australia. We would've found him.

_Stop tormenting yourself,_ I told myself to try to calm down. This was getting redundant, me getting upset over Seth. But every time I did try to move on, something threw Seth back at me.

It would take forever to get over him because I didn't want to get over him.

Most of the rest of the flight I forgot, until the descent. I woke up everyone, which was good in Sandy and Summer's case. In Ryan's, not so good.

"Oh God," Ryan exclaimed as we felt the plane go into the descent.

"Ryan, calm down. You're almost through with it all," Summer told him.

"Yeah, until we leave," I hadn't even remembered the trip back. We would be taking the same route Seth did when he...I didn't want to finish the statement.

"Which will be in a week," Summer continued trying to help Ryan. I knew the descent should be over soon. It had to be. I was getting sick.

We landed, which made Ryan jump and us laugh. He shot up immediately when we could and was jumpy. None of us could stop snickering at him.

Finally, we had arrived in Australia. This was where Seth ran off to. Put the Pacific Ocean between us.

"Ground!" Ryan yelled when he stepped off the plane, and while Sandy and Summer burst out laughing, I stayed silent. I followed the three as we wandered about the airport, until I saw in giant lettering, **815.**

I had forgotten that the Australian airport also made a memorial. I had seen the LAX one hours ago, and this one had different photos. I found Seth right away. The photo was more recent than mine, obviously taken by Aerin. He looked older, happier.

"Kirsten?" I heard my voice being called and felt tears fall down my cheek. Not again. Sandy appeared at my side, and he put his arm around me. I burst into sobs, my face burying itself into his chest.

Summer and Ryan watched as I broke down for the millionth time. I didn't care anymore. This was too much. We never should have agreed to it.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cohen?" An unfamiliar, yet familiar voice came from behind us. I stopped my tears to see who it was. It was Eliza, Aerin's mother. "I see you found the memorial."

"We have one at LAX. Kirsten's just a little sensitive about it," Sandy answered as I composed myself.

"I'm fine," I argued and went over to Eliza. "Hi Eliza."

"Hi. Shall I take you to baggage claim?" Eliza showed us the way and we waited to see our luggage. Ryan had the least, Summer and I tied for the most. Then Eliza led us to her car, where I sat in the back, next to Summer. I stared outside to Australia, the placed Seth called home for the last two months of his life.

The car stopped shortly and we were in front of a small house, and Eliza got out. Again, I was fumbling with my seatbelt. I couldn't open it. Or was it that I didn't _want_ to open it? Going in there, I would see my grandson. See Aerin. I couldn't do it.

"Can you unbuckle it?" Sandy had opened my door and was watching me struggle.

"I can't, I don't want to..." I rambled incoherently as Sandy reached over and freed me of the seatbelt. There was nothing holding me back. Now I had to go in.

A cold breeze hit me as I stumbled out. Where had my composure gone? I shivered. Damn weather.

"It'll be all right Kirsten," Sandy whispered in my ear as well stepped up into the house. I shut my eyes and tried to breathe calmly. It didn't work.

Once I had opened my eyes, I saw Eliza and two other people.

"Aerin is upstairs, but this is my husband, Steve, and out other daughter, Mercedes," Eliza introduced us.

"Well, I'm Sandy, and this is my wife Kirsten, and our son Ryan, and his girlfriend Summer," I didn't look up at them. Why had I agreed to this? I should've stayed home.

"Hey guys," We heard footsteps on the stairs. I looked up and saw Aerin, who still seemed pregnant, come down the stairs, holding my grandson. I felt like I was gonna run. My legs sure wanted to.

"Is that Little Cohen?" Summer asked Aerin, who giggled.

"He has a name," Aerin came over to us.

"What is it?" Summer seemed to be the only one who could talk.

"Donald," Aerin answered.

"Donald. Like the duck?" I stifled a laugh. How did Summer find the strength to be so clam and strong?

"No. I named him after my grandfather," Everyone was huddled around Aerin, except me.

"Right. Sorry. Donald Ducks' the only Donald I know..." Summer rambled.

"It's fine," I felt myself ready to cry again. I hadn't been ready for this. We should've waited or something.

"So is it Cohen? Or whatever your last name is?" I glanced over and saw Aerin and Summer talking as everyone stared at Donald.

"Cohen," A few tears escaped from my eyes. "I haven't gotten a middle name for him. I wanted to use Seth's."

"It's Ezekiel," Sandy answered.

"Donald Ezekiel Cohen," I wanted to leave so badly, but I didn't know where I was. I'd get lost if I ran. That's what happened to Seth. He got lost.

More tears fell down my face. Why was I losing it? I should be happy. I was a grandmother, this was a joyous event. And yet, I was falling apart in the corner.

"Do you want to hold him?" Aerin startled me, and I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Oh no, that's fine. No, I'm good. I couldn't..." I babbled.

"Please?" Aerin looked straight at me, and I gave in.

"Okay," Aerin handed Donald over to me. It was the first time I got to look at my grandson, and immediately I saw Seth. This kid was a Cohen no doubt about it.

Seeing Donald made me miss Seth more, if that was possible. This poor boy would grow up without ever meeting his dad. That broke my heart.

But looking at him, I felt strange. I was elated, yet sad. I was a grandmother.

"He's beautiful," I commented and continued staring at my grandson, smiling broadly. I saw Seth more and more in him.

"Look just like Seth. You can barely see me," Aerin added.

"You could never see me in Seth. The Cohen traits dominate anything," I informed her as I held little Donald. Gosh, he looked so much like Seth.

I handed him back to his mother, and soon Summer was holding him.

"Aww, Little Cohen is soooo adorable. I mean, he's like Cohen...but miniaturized. Ryan, look at Little Cohen, he looks exactly like...should I call him older Cohen now?" Summer asked.

"Seth would probably be the best," Ryan joked.

"Yeah, I guess so. But I don't know, I've called Seth Cohen for so long. It's weird to refer to him as Seth. But now, there's too many Cohens around," Summer argued. Everyone laughed and I walked next to Sandy.

"You okay now?" He looked at me and for once, I didn't feel like crying.

"Yeah," I smiled and my head rested on his shoulder. Though I remembered there was one other place I wanted to go to.

"I haven't been here in forever. Last time was a few weeks ago. We pay for it, I just don't stay there. I'll probably move back in when Donnie gets a bit older," Aerin was unlocking the door to her apartment. I made her take me there. Ryan, Summer, and Sandy had decided to join us. This was a bit of closure for me. I'd get to see where Seth had been staying while he was disappearing from our lives.

Aerin opened the door and we stepped inside. The apartment was small, much smaller than I expected.

"Nothing really has been moved around except for in the kitchen. The rest of the place is kinda frozen in time," Aerin kept talking to us as we silently floated around the apartment.

I saw Seth's cell phone on the table and I stared at it. We had called that phone so many times and here it was.

"That's why Seth went. He got your call about Ryan and the accident," Aerin informed me after she saw me staring at it. I grew sick. I was the one who made Seth come home and go on that plane.

Again, I felt I was the one who killed him.

"Did he get all the message? Because he kept talking about Ryan dead, and Kirsten said he wasn't dead," Sandy asked and I looked over at Ryan, who was staring at the ground. I knew it had to be difficult to hear people talking about you being dead right in front of you. It must have been disgusting.

Mostly we never discussed the accident, and I knew that maybe we should. Sandy and I almost lost both our son in less than two weeks. At least we still had one. Gosh, that sounded horrible.

"No. The phone went dead in the middle of it," We all went silent and I walked into the kitchen. It was spotless and I got that Aerin was neat. Seth had _never_ been neat.

"I'm sorry," Aerin had appeared at the doorway to the kitchen and found me taking everything in.

"For what?" I asked her as I tried to envision Seth in here. He had been happy here in Australia. He had a new life, a girlfriend. Maybe we should've stopped calling him.

"I never asked him why he was here. I just let him be anonymous. Maybe if I did ask, I could've gotten him to go back earlier," We all blamed ourselves for what happened to Seth. We would continue blaming ourselves until we found who was really to blame.

But who could be the one who could take all the blame? Every one of us could've done something different at any time, and we could've saved him.

Yet if Seth was supposed to die on August 15th, he was gonna die. Maybe no matter what.

"It's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself," I blew it off because we had gone through this so many times.

"I know, but I miss him so much. Donnie looks exactly like him," Aerin walked closer.

"Yep," I couldn't say more. My voice was slowly disappearing again.

"What was Seth like as a kid? Because I'm kind of expecting the same thing from Donnie,' Aerin followed suit after I had sat down.

"Quiet around anyone he didn't know, but rambled left and right with us. He still did that. He looked happy, but I just think there was something we could've done to make him happier," I started remembering Little Seth.

"Oh," Aerin didn't seem to like that answer.

"I doubt that'll happen with Donnie. Just listen to him," I informed her. So many times I should've listened to what Seth was saying, and so many times I forced him to do things he didn't want to while I focused on work. That turned out real swell.

"Okay," Aerin replied and a silence shrouded us. I didn't know where Sandy and Ryan and Summer were, and I didn't much care. I was sitting in my dead son's apartment.

I kept telling myself that Seth was dead, I knew he was dead. So why did I have to keep referring to him as dead.

"He really felt horrible for running away. That day was the first time he ever told me something about his past," Aerin told me. I could tell she was trying to make me feel better, but it wasn't working. It had been ten months and I still couldn't move on with my life. Damn, I needed a hobby.

"Um, Aerin?" I figured now would be best to ask her for the little plastic horse that meant so much to me.

"Yeah?" She looked at me and for a moment I didn't know if I could do it. But I needed to.

"I don't mean to sound like an Indian Giver or anything, but I was wondering..." I began.

"If you can have Captain Oats back?" She looked at me and I was surprised.

"Yeah."

"Of course. I mean, I really never got to see Seth with the horse so the significance to me is very little. I know it means a lot to you. I'll give it to you when we get back to my parents," She smiled and I was really amazed she understood. Maybe if I had this horse, I could finally go on with my life and go a week without crying over Seth.

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A/n: Yay for Ali! It may be a while until the next update. Many apologies in advance. Many thanks to the reviewers…

marn - working on it

paige fan - I don't think I'm good for writing anything but confusing crap.

AME - Haha. Jack bugs the freaking crap out of me. I can't explain it either, he just does.

Katie - Right now I'm trying to figure out whose more confused, you guys or me… HOTA KA!


	30. Lost in Being Gone

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: This will be short!

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"**Lost in Being Gone"**

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Time flew by and after realizing that everyone else didn't care, everybody else forgot about me, and we were never getting off of 'Shit Hole Island', I stayed with Libby and all the people in her little group. I felt needed there. I didn't feel needed around Jack and Charlie. Especially Jack and Charlie.

I learned a lot, not only about them and how not to die on the island, but I learned about myself too. The truth was I wasn't as weak and useless as I thought I was. I also learned that I wasn't as worried about myself as much as before. Then again, I probably just picked those up from being stuck on this damn island.

But what I learned about them was far more interesting. They were all different. Libby and her husband (Dan) were on a small plane on their way to some romantic getaway or something like that. That was like five years ago or something like that.

Time didn't matter anymore.

There were other people in their little group (if that was what you could call it). We weren't the only people to get stuck on Shit Hole Island (SHI). They never got rescued, so there was no hope for us. No hope at all.

But the one thing that I really liked about being here, the one thing that was great was that I didn't have to worry about was pissing someone off by opening my mouth. They all seemed to like me. I liked that feeling.

A lot.

I felt relaxed, and just all around better. The most relaxed I have felt since getting on SHI. Maybe too relaxed.

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Time didn't matter. Although I would have loved to know how long I was actually here. They helped me extract some of the things I had forgotten about, but there was so much that was just blank. The plane crash wasn't there, then there were some island memories, and then just waking up. I wanted to remember so badly.

Then maybe I'd know why my arm was broken, or where all the scars on my arms had come from. Normally I didn't get a chance to think about this, but it was when I was alone, trying to fall asleep that the thoughts plagued me.

I never wanted to know something more than this. Ever.

As I laid on the ground, just looking up at the stars, those are the thoughts that plagued me. The thoughts that wouldn't let me go. The thoughts that made me want to get a time machine and go back in time to see what happened. Or better yet, go back in time and make sure I never got on the fucking plane that got me stuck there.

That was a plan.

Slowly, I fell into sleep, knowing that my dreams would be anything but good.

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Unfortunately, I didn't get what seemed to be much sleep. I woke up to screaming.

It was still dark out.

Loud unstopping screaming.

It was horrible.

I blinked a few times. I didn't like the sound of that. The shouts never stopped. The voice sounded so familiar, but I couldn't place where I heard it before. I propped myself up, looking around the darkness. I saw a slight flame from the fire that we lit every night.

That was it.

The shouts of pain were getting louder, and more painful to listen to. Why hadn't it woken anyone else up?

I was so confused.

I stood up now, trying to strain my eyes. I wasn't about to run off into the jungle in the middle of the night with nobody else with me. But if some one didn't wake up soon, I was going to go out.

A sick feeling erupted in my stomach. This seemed so familiar. Yet so unfamiliar at the same time. I felt like I was gonna puke. But there was noting in my stomach to throw up, so that idea went out the window.

Slowly, as to not hurt anyone, I worked my way over towards Libby. Out of all of the people in their little group, Libby was the person I trusted the most. For now the screams had stopped (thankfully), but I was feeling sicker and sicker as I worked my way over towards Libby and Dan.

"Libby, Libby," I hissed, gently shaking her awake, having to keep myself from just shaking her uncontrollably.

She didn't wake up at first.

"Libby," I whispered louder.

Finally she began to stir. "What?" she asked extremely groggily.

"Libby, I need your help now…" I said, not realizing how much urgency there was in my voice.

"Seth, what's wrong!" She asked, now fully awake.

A loud scream ripped through the air.

"Please tell me you heard that…" I pleaded.

She looked at me as if I had three heads.

I took that as a no.

I grabbed her arm and pulled her up. "What is going on Seth?" he asked, sounding worried. Worry. Why was she worried? I was the one hearing things!

"I hear screaming. Loud, painful screaming." It all stopped. I heard no screaming, I didn't feel as sick. It came as quickly as it went.

"Seth, what are you talking about?" she asked, I was still pulling her away from camp.

I took a deep breath. How could I explain it without sounding crazy? I couldn't. Shit.

"Seth!"

I didn't answer. I just kept pulling her.

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She stopped fighting after a while, and was just as confused as I was. I was pretty sure that I was lost. No, I was certain I was lost. Utterly and extremely lost. It seemed somewhat familiar, but not familiar enough.

By now the sun was rising, causing a weird light to fall over the forest. I suddenly stopped as I heard sobbing.

"What's that?" Libby asked. So maybe I wasn't crazy, because she had heard that.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully.

It felt like hours that we had been wandering around the jungle, and I didn't hear any more screaming. I didn't feel sick. But I did have a bad feeling.

Slowly, I began moving closer towards where the sound was coming from. Libby followed me, I could hear her. We were so close. I could tell. I just could.

I kneeled down behind a bush and peered over top of it. I discovered where the crying was coming from.

I saw a girl, probably my age, maybe a bit older, curled up against a tree, hiding her head in her knees. She was so skinny. Skinny, blonde, and shaking. I could visibly see the sobs racking her body.

I felt bad for her. Really bad. She looked so familiar from somewhere, I just didn't know where.

Then it hit me. It hit me like a train. It was Shannon, the girl from the plane.

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_I sat down in my seat. It was the only seat left, next to a bickering blonde girl and who looked like her boyfriend. Now I knew why no body wanted the seat. _

"_Damn it to hell Boone, just do it. Christ!" the blonde girl said angrily._

_The man just looked at her. That must have been Boone. "Shannon, shut up, okay. You're probably annoying the hell out of the guy who just sat down."_

_Both of them looked at me. I didn't say much of anything. I just shrugged and proceeded to put the headphones over my ears to block the two of them out._

_Not that I couldn't hear them over top of it._

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Subconsciously I found myself wanting to go and help her. She looked so hurt, and I wanted to know why. I didn't want her to feel like crap anymore. Libby grabbed my shoulder.

"Seth, you can't. You know what would happen if any of them think you're alive."

I wouldn't be able to go back, I know, I know.

I sighed. I had a decision to make, and I had to make it quick. I had completely forgotten about everyone else who crashed on the same flight that I had. I forgot about everyone else who was like my family, I think.

I did what any normal person would do in the situation I was in. I just hope I made the right choice.

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A/n: Sorry about the length…

paige fan - Sure I am. I hope this wasn't too long.

The Pirate Illusionist - Haha

IY-ROX - You'll see…

alexis - Haha, 'tis okay. It isn't as lost of a cause as you may think.


	31. The Question

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: This was gonna be me, but I didn't write, so now for Ali's part!

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"**The Question"**

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The summer was at its' peak, and I was writing down some figures for the Newport Group. Sandy was surfing, and the kids were out somewhere. Aerin had decided to spend the month or so, Donnie was already four months old, and he came with. Right now, he was sleeping next to me.

It had been over a year since I last saw Seth in person. I don't know how I survived. It was indefinite that all the plane passengers were dead. Supposedly, a tiny piece of the plane had been found, but nothing was discovered because of it.

I heard a door close and looked to see who it was. Aerin, Marissa, and Summer walked in, bags in their hands. Of course they were shopping. That's mostly how summers were spent in Newport.

"How's Donnie?" Aerin asked as she walked over to her son.

"He's been sleeping almost all day," I informed her as she picked him up. Marissa and Summer collapsed in chairs with all their bags. I laughed seeing their exhausted faces, and Summer started to rummage through her bags.

"Where's Ryan?" I didn't know where he could be. He had disappeared earlier in the day, I had thought he was with Summer. Obviously not.

"No idea. Haven't seen him all day," Summer commented. It was strange. Usually, Ryan was pulled along by Summer.

"Wait, Sum, you haven't see Ryan? You take him around like a dog. I feel bad for him sometimes," Marissa told her best friend.

"Hey! He likes coming with me," Summer defended.

"Yeah, sure," Marissa joked and I felt a smile form on my face. I smiled more often now, but still not like I used to. I couldn't believe it had been thirteen months since I saw my son run away. Eleven since he died on the plane.

"Well, he's probably hanging out with some people he knows," Summer said.

"Who, Sum? Ryan has like no Newport friends, other than, um, Zach, Luke and well, Seth. I don't think he's hanging out with any of them," Marissa accused.

"He could be. Of course, he could only be with Zach, because Luke's not here, and Cohen got himself killed," Summer commented.

"Sum, that is so mean!" Marissa told her.

"What? It's true. Cohen screwed us all over," Summer walked out of the room, and I looked at Aerin and Marissa, who rolled their eyes.

I turned back to my work and tried to get the figures correct. But, of course, Seth came to mind. He would every day, for the rest of my life. Right now, he didn't come to mind nearly as much as a couple of months back. Everything had changed so much.

Soon enough, I could hear Sandy and Ryan talking and then they walked in. I had thought Sandy went out surfing. Wait, I was confused.

"Hi," I greeted them warily and stood up as Marissa and Aerin turned to see them.

"Hi honey," Sandy came over and kissed me, but that wasn't making up for the confusion plastered on my face.

"Where's Summer?" Ryan asked.

"Upstairs, maybe. She just kinda left," Marissa answered. I could see the uncomfortableness on Marissa's face. I couldn't believe she was still strange with Ryan and Summer. They were together since around Seth left.

"Oh, okay," Ryan walked out of the room.

"So, where were you two? I thought you went surfing," I wanted answers.

"I did. And then Ryan called me. So we hung out, you know, guy stuff," Sandy told me.

"Hung out? Sandy, really. Where were you?" Sandy was trying to be hip, so I knew something was up. Where could Sandy have been? Had he called Ryan for a cover up so he could hide where he really went.

"Nowhere special," Sandy answered as he headed to our room. I followed.

"Sandy, where were you? What are you hiding?" We came into the bedroom.

"I am hiding nothing."

"You're a horrible liar Sandy," I stared at him as he closed the door to our room.

"I swore not to tell," Sandy looked at me and I grew with worry. What was wrong? Who didn't want me to know this?

"Please Sandy," I begged, getting sick in the stomach.

"Kirsten, you shouldn't worry. Actually, you should be happy," Sandy gave me one more hint and I was going insane.

"Sandy, if you don't tell me now, I will hurt you. Severely. So don't try to get out of it anymore. Tell me right now," I stared at him with an evil eye and I could see he was getting scared.

"All right, all right. Ryan, he, wants to, maybe, uh..."Sandy babbled and I hit him.

"What does Ryan want?" Somehow I feared the absolute worse. Did he want to move away? I don't think I could allow that. It would be too heartbreaking.

"He wants to propose to Summer," This, I had not even thought of. I squealed and hugged my husband. Ryan was gonna propose. For once, something exciting and _happy_ was happening. "Now, he talked to me to see if he should or not now."

"So what did you say?" I was so incredibly happy for Summer and Ryan. They were such a great couple.

"Well, both of them are going to college, the same one, Ryan pointed out to me, so I told him, he should propose, but wait to get married until after they graduate," Sandy explained.

"The perfect plan. I love you," I kissed my husband of 21 years. Then we headed back to the kitchen, with me not trying to grin like a stupid idiot.

Everyone was in the kitchen, and when I saw Summer, I wanted to blab so bad. But I contained myself. I just had to talk to Ryan.

"Um, Ryan? Can I talk to you?" I asked him and he nodded. We walked out of the room.

"What's up?" He asked me and I broke out into a huge smile, I couldn't help it. "Sandy told you," Ryan laughed at my happy face. No one had seen me this excited since the initial calls from Seth eleven months ago.

"Yes! Oh, I am so happy for you!" I hugged my son and tried to be as quiet as I could. Sandy was covering; he was practically yelling a conversation in the kitchen without waking Donnie.

"I don't even have a ring yet. Plus, I have to talk to Mr. Roberts," Never in a million years, on that first night in August, almost three years ago, when I first met Ryan, would I have seen this coming.

"He always liked you," Ryan had done better with meeting Neil Roberts than Seth had. I remember so long that had happened. In fact, only a few weeks after it, Summer and Ryan were in the accident.

"Yeah, but this is a huge step," Ryan commented and I felt a tear grace my eye.

"You're perfect for each other, Ryan. She loves you," The elation I was feeling was indescribable. I was just so full of joy.

"I love her too, but I don't know. Do you think she'll say yes?" I would have never guessed Ryan would be this insecure. But I suppose everyone is at some point.

"She will Ryan, no doubt about it," I lifted Ryan's spirits and we hugged once more before walking back in to find Sandy singing. I groaned.

"Want me to belt out another one for ya honey?" He smiled. Sandy would take any audience ro listen to him sing.

"No thanks," Once you start Sandy singing, he doesn't stop. He shrugged and walked over to me, standing by the door as everyone huddled around Donnie. He was always the most popular around them. Marissa was playing with him right now, and Aerin was sitting down.

"You know, you can have him for the rest of the day. I don't mind," Aerin told Marissa and Summer, who then disappeared up the stairs to Aerin's room with Donald.

"So when are you gonna ask Neil?" I asked right after Marissa and Summer were securely up the stairs.

"I'm thinking maybe tomorrow," Ryan answered.

"Wait, who's Neil?" Aerin was clearly confused.

"Neil is Summer's father," I replied, so eager to discuss this.

"Why do you need to talk to him?" Aerin continued to ask.

"I want to propose to Summer," Ryan finally said and Aerin was surprised, but she got up and hugged him.

"Congratulations," She told Ryan, and again, I was smiling like a moron.

"Thanks," Ryan tried to be quiet so that Summer didn't hear.

"You should ask him tomorrow," Aerin commented.

"Yeah, I think I will," Ryan said.

"Get Marissa to get Summer out of the house," I suggested. "And what about a ring?" I found myself blurting out. Stupid. Why the hell was I rushing this?

"I looked, but I don't know what she'll like," Ryan answered.

"Me and Aerin could help," I told him. "Right, Aerin?" I looked over at my almost daughter.

"Sure, oh course, that's if you want our help," Aerin replied.

"Yes, I need it. I know nothing about jewelry," Ryan joked and I hugged him again in joy.

"Well, Kirsten's a master at that," Sandy added and we heard footsteps down the stairs. Out mouths all zipped up and Summer and Marissa appeared, holding Donnie.

"What did you dress him in?" Aerin exclaimed and we all looked at Donnie, who had this horrible orange and purple outfit on.

"What? It's super cute. We found it in the bottom of your suitcase," Summer commented.

"It was there for a reason," Aerin walked over and took Donnie.

"I think it's really adorable. Sum made a good pick," Marissa defended.

"My grandmother gave that to me, and she was watching me pack, so I had to put it in. It was definitely not there by choice," Aerin shook her head.

I just smiled and thought about how, for once, we were moving on.

000000000

It was three weeks later, and it was late in the night. Aerin and Marissa were in front of the television, playing with Donnie, and Sandy was in the kitchen with me. Aerin still was staying with us, she was going to leave in about a week. Currently, it was the beginning of August 2006, only one more week until the one year anniversary of Seth's plane crash. Today was in fact the one year anniversary of Summer and Ryan's car accident, the thing that started it all.

"So Aerin, when are you going to visit again? Maybe for Chrismukkah?" Marissa, who I learned by eavesdropping, was over with Alex, who was now back with some Jody, and now Marissa was seeing a guy who I missed the name of.

"Well, I'm here for another week, so we'll see what happens," Aerin commented as Sandy and I walked in.

"I wonder if he asked her yet," Marissa said. We were all staying up to see Summer and Ryan come back. Donnie was dosing off, but even he was trying to stay awake.

"I hope so. Otherwise, Donnie's not gonna make it. And I don't want to miss it," Aerin added. Me and Sandy didn't say a word, we just began to watch television. I was growing tired, but I refused to fall asleep.

I couldn't believe tonight, Ryan was asking Summer to marry him. The date had been picked for the simple reason of the tragedy that struck us a year ago. It was so strange, thinking about it. Life was finally looking up.

As the plane crash's one year anniversary was approaching, I found myself thinking of Seth less and less. I was just so caught up in helping Ryan, and then Donnie, that my dead son was disappearing from my mind. What had I become? Seth usually was all I could think of, and now, he was fading into the background.

"I think they're here," Aerin said and Sandy turned off the t.v. We all listened to the sound of the car pull in. I head my breath. This was it, oh gosh, this was it. My heart was racing. Did he ask? I never thought this day would come.

"Hello? Anybody here?" I hadn't realized that all of us were dead silent, and the house was still.

Well, they were here.

I took the initiative to get up and walk into the kitchen, feeling everyone follow me.

"Hi," I tried to stay as calm as I could. I found Ryan and Summer at the doorway. Ryan was smiling, and so was Summer, except she was red in the face. "How was your night?"

All Summer did was produce her left hand, and on her finger, lay a ring, the same ring Ryan showed me at the jeweler. I know I had squealed in delight, but I don't quite remember what happened. Everything had turned to pandemonium, and I remember crying and Summer was crying and Sandy was laughing. It was such a great moment.

I know I want to say my mind went out to Seth, like it always does when there's some big happy thing, but I can't. Seth couldn't have been farther from my mind. For once, I was really enjoying this moment, the moment when I knew I gained a daughter. The moment I found that things were finally going good. We could move on. We could be happy for once without falling back on the depression that Seth brought.

We could finally let go of the son who had wanted nothing to do with us.

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A/n: Awwwww… Thanks to the wonderful reviewers!

paige fan - You wanna know, you really wanna know! I'd tell you if I knew. xD Hota ka… I do have a plan for this story, and then the two ones after it…

snoopy - I want that to happen too. Haha. That will be fun to write if it ever happens…

alexis - Unfortunately. I cried so hard because his death scene was done so magnificently. But I have a set number of survivors, and those who survive were already planned out. Unfortunately Boone didn't make that list. Actually, a lot of people didn't make that list. Bah… this bites. SETH! cries Hota ka.

IY-ROX - Seth isn't almost like a ghost. Everyone else just gave up on looking for him because no one could survive on their on in the jungle for that long, you know what I mean? They all thought he was dead, so he didn't see a point in going back, now he is faced with going back or staying with his newfound friends… or was…


	32. Pit Stop at the Waterworks

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: This is probably gonna be short, because I have serious writers block…

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"**Pit Stop At the Water Works"**

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I looked at Libby, who looked back at me. I knew she could tell what I was going to do. Slowly she wrapped her arms around me and pulling into a tight hug. "Good luck Seth…" she said quietly before she disappeared.

Well, I was lost, and there was no turning back now.

Slowly, I walked over towards the sobbing girl. I felt so bad for her, and I wanted to know why she was crying. "Shannon?" I asked as I sat down next to her.

Her sobbing suddenly stopped. I was ready to kick myself for getting myself into this. I felt so uncomfortable, it wasn't even funny anymore. Well, not that it every was funny, it was just not funny… nevermind.

She just stopped and looked over at me. She looked so different than I remembered her. Then again, I never saw her with tears rolling down her face like a waterfall.

"What the fuck do you want?" she cursed angrily.

At first I didn't know what to say. It was obvious that she didn't remember me. Then again I never conversed with her very much, so I don't know why I expected her to remember me. Lucky guess I think.

"You looked sad, and nobody should be sad… if you wanna talk about it…"

She cut me off. "I don't even know who the fuck you are." I saw the tears beginning to fall down her cheeks again.

"You know who I am," I said simply, "I just haven't been around much." I didn't think I had changed that much in the who knows how long I was gone. All I knew was that I might have changed a little bit.

She looked at me, studying my face for what seemed like the longest time. "Seth?" she asked.

"In the flesh," I said simply. I was keeping me words short and simple, as to not get her anymore upset than she already was.

"But we… I… they… ish…" I laughed at the confusion in her words. It had seemed to get her off of her depressing thoughts, whatever it was they were.

We sat in silence for what seemed like the longest time until I finally got the guts to ask her what was on her mind.

"So, do you wanna tell me what happened?"

The waterworks began once again.

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Once she started, she wouldn't stop. She had so much to say and it was all coming out so quickly. It was odd how much she trusted in me so quickly.

It seemed as if Boone (her step-brother) had been out hunting with Locke, or at least that was what Locke said, and came back in pretty bad shape. She had been out with the Iraqi dude (Sayid) and when she came back, Boone had died. I felt so horrible. She said that she didn't understand why he was taken? She was the one that was SuperBitch and everything.

She didn't want anyone to know it, but Boone had been the one that kept her sane. The truth was I was scared for her. So scared that I didn't realize the tears slowly coming to my eyes.

Shannon turned to me. "What's wrong with you? I'm the one crying here. My fucking brother just died and you're crying?"

"Yeah well, everyone has their secrets." I said.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"I went through hell all right?" I snapped. I hadn't let this out in so long. It felt as if it needed to come out. And soon. "I get a call on my cell that my brother died, and I get on a plane to fly home from Sydney and I get stuck on this god damned fucking island for who knows how long… at least you got to spend time with Boone before he died! Ryan just died out of the blue, and I was in fucking Australia! How do you think that made me feel?"

Silence. She just looked at me, as if I were some strange evil alien.

"I'm sorry," I said after a while of silence.

"No, I'm sorry…"

More silence. It was quite unnerving.

This time, she was the one to break the silence.

"So where were you?" she asked.

"Nowhere," I answered, getting up.

"Where are you going?"

"I've been away long enough."

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A/n: Sorry about the length, I think my writer's block is gone now… and this story is coming to a close.

I am working on a companion piece called "The Long One" but I won't give the plot until Ali's next chapter. Now please review.

DeuCe628 - I never though about that. Haha. Originally he was never gonna come back. HAH!

Katie - I wouldn't go as far as to say cute… Haha.

IY-ROX - Well that's good!

Mrs.AdamBRody - Nope. No Summereth… maybe. Haha. I am the biggest Summeran freak… ever.

The Pirate Illusionist - Yeha, I know what you mean.

alexis - I loved Boone!


	33. Found

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: The rest may be all me, may not be all me. Who knows!

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"**Found"**

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I laid in bed that night reflecting. Sandy was already asleep, but I stayed awake. In one week, a year would have gone by since Seth died on the plane. It upset me, but not nearly as much as it usually did. My mind was filled with joyous thoughts, like Ryan and Summer. The happy couple was in the pool house, and Aerin and Donnie were upstairs in Seth's old room.

Slowly, I faded into a deep sleep that I hadn't had in a long time. I think I dreamed of something that was calm and soothing. Usually my dreams were nightmares, filled with images of my son's dead, of the two nights that tore my heart apart. I'll never forget that phone call, one year ago, that Ryan was on the brink of death, and they weren't sure he'd make it. And I remember me dropping the phone, I felt like life wanted to screw with me.

Sandy had driven us to the hospital, while I was shaking. We were led near Ryan, but we weren't allowed to see him. Doctors were trying to save him, and at a moment in time, I heard a flat line. I lost it, and Sandy held me back. I didn't think I'd ever survive those first hours. They managed to save more than just Ryan's life that night.

It was so hard to look at Ryan without getting a quick glance of what he looked like at the hospital. He was pale, dried blood covered him. He had looked dead. He had been dead for maybe not even a minute. But it was long enough. It still amazed me how I wasn't in an asylum after those two weeks.

So much had changed in the year since Seth died. Too much. I was grateful for having the family I did, and I was still growing, but I wanted Seth home. Though he'd been gone for so long, the wound was still open. The one year anniversary was like adding salt water to an open wound. It hurts like hell, but you had to go through with it to get better.

I woke up to an empty bed, more than one I'd find out soon enough, and Sandy was in the bathroom. I smiled at him, and got up, putting a robe on. Walking towards the kitchen, I could hear Donnie crying from upstairs. I figured Aerin would get him to stop, but he didn't stop. So I walked up there and went to Seth's room. Memories flooded back as I saw a note lying on the bed. If Donnie wasn't there, I'd think I was back to two years ago and found Seth's notes on his nightstand. I hated him for doing it, ignoring our feelings, like we had none, and we didn't matter. I don't know why, but I felt an anger surging through me. Seth had broken our family once again. Aerin had left because of him.

As I soothed Donnie to sleep, I read Aerin's note:

_Sorry I couldn't handle it. I need to get away to get over Seth. Please take care of Donnie for me. I'll be back someday._

_Sorry,_

_Aerin_

Tears escaped my eyes and I wanted to scream. Why was this happening to us? Why did Aerin have to leave? We all went through the same thing. I thought everything was okay, and really, it wasn't. Aerin hid all of her real emotions from us. Of course we didn't notice, she was a good actress.

"Kirsten?" I heard Sandy come up and soon, I found him at the door. "What's wrong?"

"She left," I stated and he walked over to me, and pulled me in his embrace. I couldn't stop crying. None of us were over Seth, but we tried to make it seem like we were.

"She'll come back," Sandy read the note, but I didn't think so. Seth and Aerin were made for each other. They ran and left everything behind.

"Hope so." I muttered and I picked Donnie up once again and we headed downstairs. Ryan and Summer were in the kitchen, being happy.

"What's up?" Ryan immediately saw my upset face.

"Aerin left," I wasn't nearly as mad that she left than with Seth. I wanted to scream.

"Oh," Ryan said, and we let silence commence. Donnie broke it by crying and I tended to him, something I could do to preoccupy my mind.

"Do you think she'll come back?" Summer asked.

"No idea," I commented. I wanted my mind to be off of Seth and Aerin, but it was near impossible. And I know it would only get worse.

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I couldn't believe the day. August 15th. The day everything spiraled into hell. The day I had no children, and I wanted to die.

It was a year ago Seth boarded that plane because my call about Ryan being near death. That day would scar me forever. I would never forget.

Long ago, I had realized how empty this house was without Seth and the anniversary was just one huge reminder of that.

Today I moped around the house while Summer took care of Donnie. She loved dressing him up in all sorts of dresses. Even though he was a boy.

"Will you get out of this? It's been a year, it's not like it was yesterday," Sandy kept commenting and I kept ignoring him.

"It feels like yesterday," I finally told him after the ten millionth time. I knew being in this empty house was slowly killing me, and I should be leaving it. But it was so difficult. It was so strange to think that a whole year had gone by without Seth. It was over a year since he left and I spoke to him.

I had fallen asleep in the living room, and when I woke p, we were in the car. I was so horribly confused. Ryan was driving, Summer was in the front holding Donnie. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Ryan was driving a car. I don't think I had seen him do that in over a year. The accident had given an imminent fear of driving.

My head was rested on Sandy's lap and I gazed at him. He smiled and the gentle features of his face helped me.

"Where are we going?" I lifted my head up and sat in the seat. I buckled my seatbelt and looked around. We were on a highway.

"LAX," Sandy answered and I froze. This wasn't right. I hate going to that airport. It reminded me of a sadness that never seemed to go away.

"Why?" But I already knew the answer. We were visiting the closest thing to a death site.

LAX was pretty full. Everyone in America, who had lost a loved one on that plane, was there. I felt tears drip down my face as we walked in. Memories flooded back. I missed my son so much.

But he would never come back.

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About eight days had slowly disappeared, and I was exhausted. I had forgotten how exhausting taking care of a baby was this hard. Donnie never stopped crying, Sandy and I had lost a lot of sleep. I wanted a nap so badly. Summer was out with Marissa, Donnie was finally sleeping, and Ryan was in the kitchen working on Newport Group papers. Ever since Aerin left, Ryan had decided to help with my work since I was the one who was taking care of Donnie.

"Good evening and welcome to the six o'clock news," I stopped on the news. My body was shutting down, and my eyes were drooping. I couldn't stand the exhaustion anymore.

My emotions were running dry since Aerin had left. I was numb now from all the things that occurred.

I heard the doorbell ring and Ryan went to get it. The next thing I knew, I was being shaken awake.

"What?" I snapped and opened my eyes.

"Thank God, Kiki, I thought you were dead. Listen, we need to talk," Julie was sitting next to me and I lightly rolled my eyes. I wanted to watch the news, I didn't know why I wanted to hear it, but I'm glad I did.

"We're the survivors of Oceanic Flight 8-1-5," Time ceased to be time. What had I just heard? Was it my mind or real? Truth was playing tricks with me. That plane was gone. We had said goodbye too many times.

"Sshh, I need to hear," I shut Julie up and put the volume the highest it could go on the t.v.

"So, the search for Oceanic Flight 815 begins again. This radio transmission was found only yesterday, and it has been confirmed by relatives that it is Boone Carlisle, a passenger on the doomed flight."

Even Julie was paying attention to the TV. My head grew so mixed. They were starting the search again. The plane victims could be alive. Just as we let go, everyone else decided to hold on again.

Why hadn't we been notified? I couldn't understand it. So I quickly ran to the phone. Checking it, I saw LAX on the ID. We hadn't checked the messages. Crap.

"Hey, Kiki, wasn't that Seth's plane?" I was amazed Julie remembered. Ryan was looking at me with confusion on his face. I just looked back at him, unsure of what to say. I was so confused.

"Yeah," I croaked and wondered how they got the transmission. Where had it come from?

"Kiki, he might still be alive!" Julie got up and hugged me. I noticed right away that this was totally out of character for Julie. But of course, ever since Seth died (or maybe he didn't... there are people from that plane alive now...how had they survived?) I guess she tried to understand.

"Yeah, he might be," I couldn't believe we were talking about this. We had left go, and all of a sudden, he could be alive. I had mixed feelings. Of course I wanted him to be alive, but what would it be like if he was alive? We had to go through the longest year of our lives.

"What's wrong?" Ryan was still sitting there, and he finally spoke. He must've figured out what we were talking about.

"Nothing," I walked away from them, numb. I wasn't tired anymore. I was confused.

Seth could be alive. It kept running through my mind, as I headed to my room. My son might be alive after a year of being dead.

Why wasn't I happy? I felt happy-ish, by my emotions had run dry.

Oceanic Flight 815 was coming back to us.

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September 22nd. Again. Seth's birthday. Again. A trip to the cemetery. Again.

The search for the plane was going better than before. They had found a piece of the plane. I was ecstatic, much happier than when I first heard the search was starting again.

Summer and Ryan were watching the news, and I had just woken up. I grabbed a cup of coffee and kissed my husband, then going over to Donnie, who was sitting on the table. Sandy had taken him out of our room so I could sleep for a bit.

News had always annoyed me, because it was so filled with depressingness. But for the last month, I loved it. Today, I would especially.

"Oceanic Flight 815 has been found! Survivors are coming home after over a year on an uncharted island. Finally, the victims of the flight have made it to their destination, LAX," My coffee cup slipped from my hand and crashed on the floor. No one said a word. Donnie didn't even cry. My mind was swimming with new information. The plane. Found. Passengers. Alive.

"Only fifteen survivors out of 175? That's not very good odds," Summer commented as me and Sandy were picking up the pieces of my cup. Fifteen? Seth might not be alive. But he had to be. "I don't know, it seems kinda sketchy," Seth had to be alive. I was going to LAX.

"Well, I'm going," I announced and they all looked at me.

"I'm not. I'm a little skeptical. I mean, _if_ Seth is alive, who's to say he wants anything to do with us? He left, remember?" Summer had a point, but I wouldn't believe it. He had been coming back.

Because one of us might have been dead. It took a death to bring him home.

Soon enough, me, Sandy, and Donnie were on the way to LAX, Summer and Ryan to the cemetery. I could see where they were coming from. Seth had been gone so long, they were scared. I was scared.

I had never in my life seen so many people at LAX in my life. News stations were everywhere. We got out of the car, which had to be, to me, a mile away from the airport. Luckily, people would move around for me because we had Donnie.

The survivors hadn't come out yet, I was glad. Seth would be here. I had to see my son.

Sandy pushed us to the front, telling people who just came for no real reason, that we were a passenger's family. I stood in front of the doors, feeling the strangest I've ever felt in my life. Seth had to be alive. I could feel it. My son was coming back.

All got silent, and the door opened. Two people, both blondes, came out. The girl looked just like Aerin. That had to be her cousin. The guy, who had shaggy hair, kissed the girl, and people "aww"ed. Then, another two people, both looking Asian, came out, but they didn't much walk near each other. A large man followed and a plain looking guy came after. Then, another blonde girl came out, with, what seemed to be, a Middle Eastern person. The rest, I forgot.

After all had come out, I only counted thirteen. Two were missing. Seth wasn't there. My heart was breaking. There was no hope for him being alive again. Seth was gone. He died on an island, alone.

I realized why no one was notified before the news announced the discovery. The airport didn't want to tell hundreds of people that there was hope for their loss, but they're dead.

Seth was lost, forever.

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A/n: Snaps for Ali! xD Wait, this sorta ruins the next chapter. Dom it!

Salvory - Charlie… Charlie is sooo much better than Seth… and Trey… Seth and Trey combined. xD. I can choose, and it isn't wrong. Okay, maybe not Seth AND Trey combined. xD

IY-ROX - Yes… poor Boone. Poor Boone this and poor Boone that. At least it wasn't Charlie… and according to some spoilers by the end of early season two… two more main characters will be added to that list. NOOOOO!

alexis - wish granted

paige fan - okay. 1) Both. He died in the last new episode. It sucked. 2) No this is not the end. After this chapter I (Kim) have 3 more chapter of this story and hopefully a sequel. 3) Who is Libby? Hmmmm… the world may never know. Ethan? Ethan's dead… he was shot by Charlie before Seth ran. Charlie and Jack are fine… a little shook up, but fine. Jack thinks he's dead and Charlie could give a shit. Are they ever gonna get off the island? At the beginning, Seth was gonna die on the island. Yes, shocking, no. Shows how much one of my stories changes. But I think the end of this chapter answered that question.

Harper's Pixie - Thanks! It may be rushed, but I wanna get this done… so I can work on the sequel…


	34. Please Remember Me

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie… Lyrics belong to Tim McGraw…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Last chapter on the island… I feel a sort of emptiness…

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"**Please Remember Me"**

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"_When all our tears have reached the sea  
Part of you will live in me  
Way down deep inside my heart  
The days keep coming without fail  
A new wind is gonna find your sail  
That's where your journey starts"_

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Of course, I didn't know where the hell I was going. So Shannon had to lead the way back to everyone else. She seemed to have calmed down. Then she just suddenly turned around and looked at me, stopping right in the path.

"What?" I asked.

"The beach is that way…" she said, pointing down the other way that the path lead.

I looked at her. I was very confused. She sighed. "Charlie… well he's not really the person you want to be around right now. He keeps talking about how much of an 'arrogant git' you are and stuff, and I didn't think you'd wanna be around that…"

I just continued to look at her. Why was she being so nice? I mean she was the one who had described herself as 'SuperBitch'. "Seth, trust me, I know you're not an asshole, I mean I guess you really helped me and stuff, and Charlie is just… weird. So please… just go to the beach…"

Not really knowing what to do, I just nodded as I headed down the path heading towards the right.

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It wasn't that far until I found the beach. The sound of the crashing waves didn't make me disagree with what my head was telling me.

I came out of the jungle to a deserted part of the beach. I could tell that it was well lived on because of all the footprints in the sand that were slowly getting washed away by the rising tide?

There was no one around.

It was waaay too quiet. I sat down and looked out at the ocean. For a little bit I had totally forgotten that I was even on an island I had gotten so used to being away from the beach that I had forgotten that it even existed. I just let the sound of the crashing waves overtake me.

I still wondered where everyone was. But I was so out of it and so exhausted that I didn't even let it phase me as I leaned down onto the sand and just listened to the waves crash against the shore. I felt alone, more alone than I had felt in a long long time.

Unfortunately, that made me feel anything but better. My mind began to wander. Wander onto things that I tried so hard to forget. I looked out at the ocean as best as I could and sighed. There was never going to be a boat out there. No one was ever going to come and rescue us.

I should have realized this a while ago, but it just hit me right then and there. No one was coming. I was never going to see my mom or dad, Aerin, Summer, Marissa, hell even Zack and Luke and Alex. Grandpa, Julie Cooper. They were all just memories anymore, lost in my mind. And to them I was just a memory, lost in theirs. Stuck there.

So in some ways I was still alive back home, with them, away from Shit-Hole Island. And in some ways, they were here on this island with me.

I was going to be here forever and Aerin and Summer and everyone else, not only had to live without me, but live without Ryan too, and we both… well he died, I was on a plane crash and stuck on this fucking island.

I hit the sand with my fist, sending sand flying everywhere. I could feel myself getting more and more upset as I was stuck alone with my thoughts. But I didn't want to move. I felt so alone.

My thoughts wandered to Aerin. How long did it take after the crash for her to forget about me? How long did it take for her to find someone new? If it weren't for the fact that Ryan had died, I would have wondered if he had taken her too, or Marissa or hell even Summer at this point.

I sat up so that I was looking straight out at the sea or ocean, or whatever the hell it was. I couldn't get my mind off of Aerin. Aerin Jenkins. Her amazing Australian accent, her beautiful deep blue eyes and long blonde hair. Her upbeat outgoing personality. Everything about her was just perfect. Except for me. I wasn't perfect. I was the screwed up part of her.

She deserved better, and now she could get better.

I was finally coming to grips with the things that had been plaguing me for the entire time on this island. It was supposed to happen. I knew and realized that now. I had fucked up so much in life that this was the only place I could go where things couldn't get more fucked up.

My arms wrapped around my knees. I was stuck here, forever, to pay for everything I did before. For all the lives I ruined and all the pain I caused. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I had caused more pain than I had caused joy. I was Seth Cohen, a bundle of hell all wrapped up into a nice package.

Of course, that led me to wonder then, why I had survived the plane crash. Why didn't I just die on the crash, or when I ran from Charlie and Jack and Claire… all the times I should have died, but didn't. It gave me a little bit of hope, but not much.

It didn't make me think I was getting off of this island. It didn't make me think I didn't ruin people's lives. It didn't make me think I deserved to live. It just made me think I was lucky.

By now everything was blocked out from around me. I was trapped inside of my mind, just staring out at the water. The water that seemed to always be moving. Washing away sand and bringing new sand up. Washing away my memory from everyone back home, and replacing them with new ones. Sethless ones.

I could feel myself biting into my lip, but I couldn't bring myself to stop. Things were just getting worse and worse. More and more horrible, but I couldn't make it stop. I'd never be able to make it stop.

I was going to be stuck here for the rest of my life, however long or short that was going to be. Stuck with memories of people who were only going to forget about me. Stuck knowing that the memories of the people that I loved, the people that I hurt, were going to plague me forever, and they were going to forget me, forget the pain I caused them, forget that I even existed.

My old life was gone. It disappeared when we crashed. Everyone's old lives disappeared when the plane crashed and we were forced to try and forget them and worry about the now, what was going on on the island. But I couldn't forget.

I could forget what happened when we first got here. I knew I'd never fully remember what happened, but I knew it must have been really bad if I wanted so badly to not remember it. But whatever it was, I deserved it.

The familiar feeling of salty tears rolling down my cheeks came upon me. I hated this island, I hated being stuck here. Most of all, I hated myself. I hated everything that had anything to do with me and my selfish self.

That was what I was. I was a selfish arrogant asshole. I couldn't put up with things, they were getting too hard for _me_ to handle, so I ran from them, and got stuck here. I ran from them and caused so much pain for people who only ever loved me.

I didn't deserve to be here on this island, I didn't deserve to be alive. I should have died like all those other people that never got to realize that there was an island. They just died. Died, just like Ryan.

Ryan. The one person that my selfishness had caused immediate pain too. I had killed him. He was dead because I ran to Sydney. And that affected everyone else more than me running away. At least I was still alive. Ryan wasn't. Ryan was gone, forever. And now I wish that our places had been switched.

Ryan didn't deserve to die. He never did anything to make anyone feel bad. He never did anything to deserve to die. I did all of that, and Ryan had to pay.

Ryan had to pay. Ryan did pay. He paid the ultimate price, and there was no way I was going to forgive myself for that.

That made me think about my parents. God, what did I ever do to deserve them? They were two… they were the two greatest people I've ever met. I mean they took in Ryan, and he was a 'delinquent.' Ryan became like a son to them. The son that I never was. The son that I took away from them.

I didn't know why I was getting myself so upset, but it was like an avalanche. One little thing and I just totally went down hill. I buried my head in my arms, blocking out the sights around me. I just hated myself so much. So fucking much.

I didn't deserve this. I should have just stayed in Newport, talked things out instead of acting on impulse and just rushing away. But I couldn't turn back time. I couldn't take back the things I did, or anything.

I know I didn't deserve it, but I hoped that they at least remembered me. Not as the screw up Seth Cohen, but as the Seth Cohen I was when I wasn't only thinking about myself.

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"_You'll find better love  
Strong as it ever was  
Deep as the river runs  
Warm as the morning sun  
Please remember me…"_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

It felt like forever that I was stuck there, only my thoughts and the crashing waves keeping me company. But all at once I felt the presence of someone else. More than one person. Quite a few.

The cavalry had arrived. I didn't even look up. I could hear them talking, but I was so keyed in on the waves that I could barely hear them. But I knew they were there. The tears were still coming out of my eyes. I had turned into the waterworks. I was too afraid to look up.

It was only when I felt a comforting arm around me that I felt my muscles relax. I didn't even know they had tensed. All at once everything came crashing down on me. I could hear wind blowing, I could hear the voices loud and clear. The waves were still there, but just meshed in with everything. It was a weird experience.

"Seth, you're going to be fine," I heard a voice say. I knew that voice. It was Claire. Claire. Aerin's cousin. Shit. No. I wasn't going back to replaying stranded memories. I had to think in the now. Not the past. The past is the past. No more.

I didn't say anything, I was still feeling like I didn't deserve it. I didn't. I couldn't.

"_Seth… Seth… damn it to hell Seth… turn on your cell phone… I know you have it off! Seth... please… don't… Seth… its Ryan… Seth… its Ryan… he's… Ryan… he's…"_

Ryan was dead because of me. Ryan was dead. Kate was dead, Boone was dead. Who know what the hell else had happened while I was gone. While I am gone. While I'm stuck here on Shit-Hole Island.

"_And I guess that I'll see you in Newport again…it's only a few hour flight."_

Few hours turned into a few days, turned into a few weeks, a few months. Even a few years? I had lost track of so much time. I didn't even know who I was anymore.

"_Please forgive me… Please forgive me… Please forgive me… Please forgive me…"_

Forgive me. Forgive me? I could care less about forgiveness anymore. I just hoped that they'd remember me.

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"_Remember me when you're out walkin'  
When the snow falls high outside your door  
Late at night when you're not sleepin' And light falls across your floor  
When I can't hurt you anymore…"_

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I sighed loudly and just lost all control of everything around me. Claire's voice was soothing and comforting me. "Seth, it's going to be fine. You're going to be fine."

She didn't get it, did she? I never was fine. I never was going to be fine. I was always just going to be fucked up Seth Cohen.

"It's not your fault," someone else said. Sawyer. I should have known that one of them was him. But I never looked up to see the people. I was too embarrassed. I must have hurt them too by jetting off. Everyone except for Charlie and Jack. But I didn't deserve any of this. I should have died. I should have stayed with Libby.

No… I should have stayed in Newport.

"What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?" I heard a British man snap. What the hell? What was Charlie doing here? He hated me.

"Cohen… he likes to blame himself self for everything. Take the weight of everything on himself."

Silence. Awkward silence.

"That is bull shit," I said, before being able to stop the words from coming out of my mouth. "I don't do that."

I still didn't look up, but I could hear Sawyer laughing. "You owe me, I got him to talk."

I chuckled slightly. If… if… if Charlie and Sawyer could somewhat get along, there was some hope for me, wasn't there.

My head came up from between my eyes. I must have looked like shit. I could tell just by the change in their facial expressions. I held back a chuckle.

There was more silence, but before I could do anything about it, Charlie did.

"Look, I'm sorry about jumping to conclusions about… what happened." His voice sounded pained when he said 'what happened.' I wish I knew what he was talking about. "I should have listened to you, and Claire… and…" A coughing came from Sawyer and a smile formed on my face. "Sawyer," Charlie added sarcastically. "But I just wanted to let you know that I do forgive you, okay?"

Forgiveness. I never asked for his forgiveness, but I had asked for my parent's forgiveness, right before getting on the plane.

Maybe this was a sign that they forgave me too. That they wouldn't forget about me.

I relaxed into a smile. "Yeah," I said. "Th… thanks Charlie."

I could see the smile on his face too. Everything just got so much more relaxed than before. A million times more relaxed. I felt loved, wanted and just so much better than before. I finally felt as if I could be needed.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Less than a week passed when it happened. I was finally feeling amazing, for the longest time in a while. A long long while. Even if I was spending almost all my time with Sawyer, poking fun at Charlie (not only because it was fun, but because it was easy) and Claire, but pulling practical jokes too.

We became the most loved hated people out there. We found a form of entertainment that was new (for now), but even now it was beginning to get old.

We were running out of ideas. It was one day when Sawyer and I were walking down the beach that we saw something. It was a small something, but it was a something.

"Dude, is that… is that what I think it is?" I asked, totally shocked. It looked like a ship. But it couldn't be.

"What?" he asked.

"Out there, look!" I said excitedly, pointing out at the horizon at the little speck that looked like a ship.

I could see Sawyer straining his eyes to try and see it.

"No way…"

"Yes way! We're gonna get off this piece of shit!" I was so excited it wasn't even funny.

Sawyer just looked at me and laughed. "Don't waste you're energy just yet. I have one last plan."

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The next thing I knew, I was drug into Sawyer's plan. It was the final one. The last big hurrah on the island. And needless to say, I thought it was going to be good.

It was just what everyone wanted to do. Well, what they would want to do if they knew what was going on, but they didn't. This was going to be interesting.

I stood on the sidelines and just watched. The wind was blowing and Sawyer was adding more and more stuff to the fire. Buy now it was huge, almost reaching the nearest little hut thing.

It happened so quickly. With everything as dry as it was, it was engulfed in a matter of seconds.

A very angry Sayid ran out of the jungle as it started a domino effect, starting everything on fire.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" he shouted angrily. "ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN EVERYONE'S LIVES?"

Sawyer only laughed, before running towards me and grabbing my arm. "Run man!"

I didn't need telling twice as Sayid came running after us.

We ran and ran and ran (and surprisingly I didn't get tired) until we finally got to the point where we had seen the ship before. It was closer.

It was a ship. Holy shit.

Sayid just glared at us, obviously not seeing it. "I knew you two were going to do something totally out of control, now you just ruined everyone lives you…"

But he was cut off, obviously seeing the boat.

"You… I… you knew?"

We both nodded.

"One last hurrah," I said, as I just looked at the ship.

"One last big hurrah…"

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Hours before sunset, we were all on the ship heading towards home. We were all excited, you could feel the energy and emotions running wild. I sat alone. Of course I got a shower first thing, then ate a really bad microwave pizza. I swear my mom could have made better.

My mom. She was gonna kill me, wasn't she? I'd be grounded for life.

That was when I realized. I had been on that damn island for over a year. A long time. I wasn't a kid anymore. No. I most definitely wasn't a kid anymore.

But I was going home. I had to go home. It was time.

I only hope that they remembered me.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

A/n: I just noticed something. Back way before in a chapter where Seth was held by Ethan, I used a quote about "every nerve ending in your body being on fire" and as usual, I was watching "24" last night and in the previews they had Richard Heller and then I was like… dude… TREY! It was really weird… because Richard Heller was the person they said that to… and it's like… TREY! Haha!

IY-ROX - It won't be Charlie, we were promised that. And yes, one more after this and an epilogue. The funny thing is, the last chapter has been written for a while now… xD

Harper's Pixie - Teeheehee… I'm evil… well, Ali's evil… me too... nevermind!

alexis - giggles

Bored - Okay then… Ruin the greatness that is Summeran? Not gonna happen… xD

megan - what?

Louis - This chapter should clear things up…

neim - Thanks! Hopefully they all stayed basically in character through the rest of the story!


	35. Best of Me

**Stranded Memories**

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: This is the end my friends…

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"**Best Of Me"**

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"_Tell me what you thought about when you were gone and so alone  
The worst is over, you can have the best of me  
We got older, but we're still young  
We never grew out of this feeling that we won't give up…"_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

It rained the day I returned to Newport. Sawyer and I got a taxi since neither of us were no where near in the right mind to drive. Everyone else was waiting at LAX for their families to come. I didn't want to wait. I didn't want to be in that airport or anywhere near a plane… ever again.

Sawyer didn't have anyone to wait for, so we left together. Like the best friends that we had oddly become. I knew that if it wasn't for the island, that I would have never even given the guy a chance, but… yeah.

I stared out the window of the taxi. Dad would pay for it.

"You okay kid?" Sawyer asked me.

I didn't answer at first. Mainly because I didn't quite know myself.

"Cohen?" he asked. Summer called me that. Was Summer still alive? What about Aerin and mom and dad? And Marissa. I had left hating them… it felt like forever. Now I was worried. I called their cells, I called their houses, I didn't get any answers. I was worried.

And what about Ryan? Oh God, not Ryan…

"Huh?" I asked, not really paying attention all that much. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Good," Sawyer said with a bit of a laugh. "Because I have no clue where the hell I'm going, and someone needs to tell the driver."

I forced a laugh out. I wanted to go home so bad, but there was someplace that I had to go first. "Turn… turn left up here."

I took a deep breath. I couldn't believe I was going through with this. Wait? Where exactly was I looking for? The taxi pulled in.

"You live in a graveyard?" Sawyer asked. I just glared at him and he laughed.

"Just shut up…" I said somewhat angrily. I was looking for something. I didn't know what, but I knew that I would know it once I found it.

"Whatever you say," Sawyer said, sarcastically rolling his eyes. The car continued to drive slowly. I hadn't been here in so long. I never liked graveyards. They gave me the creeps.

The taxi driver was driving really slowly, which was totally different than his maniacal driving habits from just a few moments ago.

Then… suddenly, I found what I was looking for. "Stop," I said almost wordlessly. I just looked. I could feel the smile forming across my face. HOLY SHIT! I could feel the tears beginning to form in my eyes.

At first I didn't wanna believe my eyes. Ryan… Summer… okay… I was gonna kill him. I blinked a few times. I was so glad that Ryan wasn't dead. So fucking glad.

"You all right?" Sawyer asked, breaking the silence. It was then when I realized that Sawyer was there.

"Yeah," I said quickly, wiping away the tears from my eyes. I thought that Ryan was dead, and that I was never going to see either of them, ever again. I just was so… happy. Happier than when we finally got rescued. Happier than when Charlie finally admitted that I was right. Happier than… I had been in such a long long time.

"You know them?" he asked, nodding his head towards Summer and Ryan.

I chuckled and nodded. "Yeah," I said almost silently.

There was a large umbrella over the two of them, and Ryan had his arm around Summer. Some things never changed.

A few moments of silence.

"Who are they?" Sawyer asked.

"Remember Ryan and Summer?" I asked, knowing I had told him about Ryan at least.

"Your dead brother?" Sawyer asked.

"That's him…"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The next thing I knew, Sawyer had an umbrella out and had a plan. I couldn't help but play along with it. As much as I missed them, and Ryan wasn't dead… I didn't want to think about it. Sawyer got out at the same time as I did, but I stayed by the car. The rain was falling hard on my head, and I was getting soaked, but for some reason, I didn't care.

I stayed a distance away from them as Sawyer walked over to them. I couldn't make out what was on the gravestone, but I could hear every word between the three of them.

At first there was silence. I was getting cold. I hated the rain.

"So here lies Seth Cohen…" Sawyer said. That was when the two noticed that he was there.

"Who are you?" Ryan asked, his arm visibly tightening around Summer.

This was cruel.

"Sawyer," he answered simply. The man had first name issues. "You must be Ryan and Summer," he added after a few moments of silence. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out my wallet. I thought I had lost it.

"How do you--" Summer said at first, but Sawyer cut her off.

"Island, wallet, thought you'd like it," he said, thrusting it into Summer's hand. If I could have seen her face I would have seen that she was crying.

By now I was totally soaked, and there was no point in going back in the taxi. It wouldn't keep me from getting any wetter. Besides, I wanted to hear this.

All I heard was the sound of rain falling on everything. Ryan broke the silence.

"So you knew Seth?" he asked.

"Why else would I have his fricking wallet?" Sawyer snapped.

More silence. This was just weird.

"Look, why don't you say what you really want to say and just get out of here," Ryan said angrily.

Sawyer sighed loudly, and looked toward the stone that was obviously my gravestone. Gee, this is weird.

"How much did that stone cost?" he asked, his southern accent really coming out.

"None of your fucking business," Ryan snapped without even a millisecond wait.

"I was just asking man, he's my friend too." I was starting to get cold. Cold, wet, and sick. Wow, this seemed so wonderfully familiar.

I could see Ryan glaring at Sawyer, Summer was oddly quiet, but she was the one that broke the silence.

"Did you ever get to talk to him?" Why were they talking about me like I was dead? I didn't like it. I didn't like it one little tiny bit.

"Yeah," Sawyer said. What was she getting at?

"Was he mad at us… when he… when he died?" Wait, they thought I was dead. Hence the gravestone. I hated this.

Sawyer burst out laughing. And I mean uncontrollable laughter.

I could tell Ryan was getting angry. "It isn't funny!"

"Yeah, it is," Sawyer said between the laughs. "Because Cohen isn't dead…"

Dead silence. Dead… graveyard… not funny.

"You're lying." Summer said plain and simply.

"Wanna bet?" Sawyer asked, I could tell he was enjoying this.

"We just met you, why the hell should we believe you?" Summer asked. Crap, Sawyer didn't know about the rage blackouts. I could tell just by her tone of voice that one was coming.

"Fine then, don't believe me," Sawyer said. I couldn't help but feel horrible. Summer thought I was dead, and obviously Ryan did too? It hadn't been that long, had it?

He then said something that I couldn't make out but almost suddenly I felt two pair of eyes on me.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I heard Ryan say. I didn't move. I was too cold, to wet.

Summer was the first one to actually move as she ran over to me, leaving Ryan holding the umbrella. "Cohen?" she asked when she got over to me.

I could feel the warm, salty tears mixing with the cold rain on my face. I took a few seconds to study Summer. She hadn't really changed much. It was then when I first realized that she was crying. Her mascara was running, or maybe it was the rain. Who the hell knew, and who the hell cared.

The second thing I noticed was the beautiful ring on her finger.

Before I got to look at her anymore I felt her hand collide with the side of my face.

It hurt.

"What the hell was that for?" I snapped.

"THAT WAS FOR LEAVING!" She shouted before she just looked at me. Then it was as if someone flipped a switch in her head. She shook her head. "You aren't Seth…" she said, I could hear the unbelieving tone in her voice. "Cohen wasn't this skinny, and wouldn't be caught dead with facial hair…"

"Sum, I was stuck on Shit Hole Island for… oh I don't know how long anymore…"

"One year, one month, six days…" Summer said quietly. "Since the plane crashed."

I just looked at her, shocked. When I left I was being the biggest asshole in the world, and yet she knew at the exact moment how long I was gone… how long it had been since the plane crashed.

Sawyer and Ryan walked over towards us, now both of us were soaking wet.

I was going to be sick.

The first thing I did was grabbed Ryan and hug him. Neither of us were huggers, but it seemed appropriate. I didn't matter that he was perfectly dry and I was soaked to the bone. All that mattered was that he was alive and that I didn't hate him anymore.

We both broke away at pretty much the same time. "So, when'd ya propose?" I asked.

Both him and Summer looked shocked. "I was on an island in the middle of nowhere for over a year, but I didn't lose my mind."

I hear a cough coming from Sawyer. "You shut up!"

Nothing could ruin my mood. Well, almost nothing. My eyes went over Ryan's shoulder and I spotted the gravestone once again, and my mood was automatically ruined. I pushed past Ryan and walked right over to it. I read it and sunk down to my knees.

**Sethela Ezekiel Cohen**

**September 22, 1987 - August 15, 2005**

_**Beloved son, brother, friend**_

My fingers grazed over the lettering. It was almost surreal. It was surreal. Nobody should have to go through something like that. No one. I could hear the silence. I could feel it. I didn't like it. But I couldn't force myself to break it. I was subconsciously biting my lower lip and tears were once again mixing with the cold rain.

I felt a firm grip grab my shoulder. But I couldn't tear my eyes away from it.

"Come on kid," I heard Sawyer say, but I couldn't move.

I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was drowning. Why did this feel so familiar?

"Let's go…" Sawyer said, now picking me up and setting me on my feet.

My eyes never left it.

"Do something," I heard Sawyer say.

More silence. _Sethela Ezekiel Cohen_. But I wasn't dead. I was looking at my own gravestone. How? Why? I could feel myself getting sick.

_September 22, 1987 - August 15, 2005…_ That was over a year ago. I wasn't dead. No. No I wasn't…

_Beloved son, brother, friend…_ Was I really alive? Or was this all some sort of sick dream…

"Seth," I heard Summer's soft voice. Where was Aerin? Where was mom and dad? I felt my eyes breaking away slowly. "You have a son…"

There was no way… They… no… holy… oh god…

Darkness.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The next thing I knew I could smell my bed, something I hadn't smelled in what felt like forever. I could feel a pillow underneath my head. A pillow. Amazing.

I must have passed out or something. The last thing I remembered was… _"You have a son…"_

A WHAT? I tried to open my eyes, but I was just so comfortable.

"Honey, you can't just wake him up, he's had a rough… year…" I heard a voice say. I could feel my heart seize. That sounded like my dad. I hadn't heard his voice in so long…

"But after all he put us through, I wanna wake him up and I WANT TO KNOW WHY!" my mom said, more and more anger in every word. I felt worse and worse.

I could feel the tears threatening to slip from my eyes.

"He survived honey, and that is all that matters. We have time to ask him why later." My dad said.

Time. Yes. Time. I had time. But I wasn't alone anymore. I wouldn't be alone again, not for a long time. Not if I had anything to do with it.

I was home.

I felt safe.

Nothing mattered anymore. I finally got home.

And best of all, they forgave and remembered me.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"_We're sitting on the ground  
And we whisper  
Say what your thinking out loud_

Tell me what you thought about  
When you were gone and so alone  
The worst is over  
You can have the best of me  
We got older but we're still young  
We never grew out of this feeling that we wont give up"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_Fin._

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

A/n: Thanks to the reviewers, this ends the actual story… For Stranded Memories that is. After I finish "Misunderstanding" I am going to write the sequel to this which is going to be called Discovering Memories and takes place (probably) a little less than two years after this one. If you liked this story then you will probably like Discovering Memories as well.

Okay, for those of you Lost-savvy people, here are the people who survived: Seth, Charlie, Claire, Sawyer, Jack, Sun, Jin, Walt, Hurley and a few red-shirts…

paige fan - Unfortunately, that didn't happen in this story, but it will happen in the next one. I'll figure out a way!

The Pirate Illusionist - Yayness!

megan - I never said he wasn't… he was just being a poop…

IY-ROX - Well, it could change, but I have the proof. Rolling Stone would not lie to us! And yes, I am finishing my other OC fic, and then starting another one… if I ever get the push. I always stop right before the last chapter. xD… but I will try…

alexis - Haha… I couldn't kill Seth… I did it beforeish… actually I never have before..

Abby - Finally?


End file.
